


Princes and Bastards

by MerthurDestinies



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pregnant Merlin, Temporary genderbend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-08-23 04:26:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 83,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16611932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerthurDestinies/pseuds/MerthurDestinies
Summary: Trying to rescue a neighbouring princess, Arthur and Merlin get captured by an evil sorceress intent on carrying the next heir of Camelot. In a dire moment Merlin reveals his magic and the evil sorceress is defeated. The new life chooses the closest viable host and Merlin finds himself in a predicament he never thought possible.





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin didn’t trust Princess Lana of Angevin from the start. Something had always been off about her. Gaius accused him of being on edge. Merlin didn't really disagree with him. They were all distrusting of anyone who came to Camelot nowadays. After all, with Uther bedridden and the Crown Prince trying to govern, it wouldn't be farfetched to assume the kingdom was in a vulnerable state and ripe for the picking.

When the King of Angevin had written to Camelot regarding rumours of the Saxons growing in power Arthur had invited him over to discuss a treaty, an allegiance. The kingdom of Angevin was south of the sea but close enough for the Saxons to invade if they took over Camelot and continued their conquest south. Enough for Angevin to offer their assistance.

Supposedly they’d ran into trouble in the sea, only the Princess’ ship had arrived for now and the King was supposedly with the rest of the armada still making their way. It raised every magical alarm bell in Merlin’s instincts. He warned Arthur about the strange situation and although the prince didn’t dismiss him entirely, he hadn’t been as cautious as he should have been. It came as no surprise, that she was actually a sorceress working for Morgana.

She had masterfully made a display of her getting kidnapped by a couple of Saxon Knights that led Arthur to go and search for her with his knights and Merlin ever at his side. Merlin couldn’t blame him. Even he wasn’t a hundred percent certain about princess Lana and if he was wrong and Arthur didn’t go after her, they could be risking a war with Angevin for leaving the Princess to be taken under their watch.

And so, Merlin found himself chained to the walls of this cavern. Arthur was to Merlin’s right and Morgana to Arthur’s right. Yes, that’s correct. Morgana too was chained to the walls of the cavern, looking slightly crazy but mostly furious as well as tired. They had become separated from most of the knights, though Sir Leon made it through and he too was just starting to rouse.

“Morgana!” Arthur gasped, seeing his sister who rolled her eyes annoyed.

“Hello, brother. Took you idiots long enough to wake up.” She grumbled.

Merlin looked around the room, seeing Lana stirring some light green concoction in the centre of the cavern, the cauldron bubbling as it sat on the fire. She kept mumbling words of the old religion.

“What on earth are you planning this time Morgana?” Arthur asked.

“Honestly, little brother, your powers of observation never cease to amaze me. As you can clearly see, I too am chained to the wall.” She said.

“As if these chains could hold a magic user.” Leon called over from across the room.

“You’ll find, they can.” Morgana scoffed tugging at the chains, eyes glowing gold making the manacles glow too, but the light fizzled into nothing.

“They’re enchanted.” Merlin said and felt fear grip his heart. He looked up at his own and felt relief washed over him as they didn’t look the same as Morgana’s. He tried to tug at the chains, but nothing happened, and he couldn’t well try his magic here.

“So, she says.” Leon said narrowing his eyes at Morgana who scoffed looking away annoyed.

“Shut up, all of you.” Lana finally said turning to them. Merlin glared at the woman.

“What are you planning Lana?” Arthur demanded. She chuckled as she turned her pretty green eyes to Arthur.

“My dear Prince Arthur. I want you to give me an heir.” She said simply.

“Excuse me?” All three, Merlin, Arthur and Morgana said.

“There’s no point in following Morgana, she is powerful in magic, but weak in numbers and power. She’ll never be queen, she’s too insane. No one will accept her.” She said cruelly, mocking her as she came close to Morgana’s side.

Morgana may be slightly crazy, but she wasn’t about to take that lying down and gave the sorceress a kick to her stomach that sent her rolling back. Merlin gave a slight smirk and saw Arthur look just as amused. Lana pulled herself to her feet, her eyes filled with rage as she tried to get air back into her lungs.

“I won’t kill you yet.” She hissed still winded from the blow.

“I don’t care what spells you use, sorceress.” Arthur hissed. “I am not having a child with you.”

Lana laughed. “Oh, sweet prince. You don’t have a choice. I will use your essence and with magic create a child in my womb. It’s quite simple, really. Once I am with your heir, nothing will stop me from acquiring the throne. A little growth spell and within a handful of years I’ll have a strapping young prince grown and strong enough to take you down.” She purred, caressing his cheek while Arthur flinched back from her touch.

“You can’t do this! A life cannot be created out of nothing. A life must be surrendered. You won’t even survive.” Merlin yelled. She turned her eyes to him for the first time but barely gave him a second glance. No one ever gave the prince’s manservant a second look.

“Well, that’s where Lady Morgana comes in. I will kill her and use her as the sacrifice. After all, all participants of this spell must be of magic.” She said and walked back to the cauldron, scooping up some of the potion into a wooden cup. She walked over to Arthur and Merlin struggled against the restraints along with the knights. Morgana just looked on with disgust, her eyes glowing as she kept trying to undo the restraints.

“Don’t drink it Arthur!” Morgana ordered but all Arthur could do was clamp his jaw shut and press his lips tight.

Merlin looked around for anything he could do but there was nothing. He couldn’t reveal his magic! Lana took out a serrated bone knife and pierced Arthur’s abdomen with it. Arthur cried out and Lana poured the liquid into his mouth.

“Arthur!” They all cried out and Lana laughed. She stepped back and started to chant. Arthur began to glow a light golden colour that began to pour out of him and form into a small ball of white and gold light. They all stared at the orb in horror as it began to move towards Lana who kept chanting. The orb stopped, and Lana moved to Morgana, her knife ready to kill.

Merlin looked at Arthur’s wound as it kept bleeding and closed his eyes. There was no way around it. He let his eyes glow gold and the manacles snapped open. Merlin fell forward and they all turned to him.

“What?” Lana gasped. Merlin looked at Arthur, somehow praying he was passed out, but the prince was looking at him a little pale but very much awake. Merlin raised his hand and all the manacles snapped open. Morgana didn’t hesitate and tore the knife from Lana’s hand, digging it straight into her heart, killing her instantly. Her blood began to trail as if with a life of its own and formed a ring that surrounded Merlin.

“What’s happening?” Merlin cried out alarmed, trying to jump out of the circle but an invisible wall stopped him.

“A life has been given. The new one must take hold.” Morgana said staring at the orb in horror as it went to Merlin.

“No. No! Stop this Morgana!” Merlin yelled moving as far back as he could.

“I can’t! This is… not magic I know of.” She said. Arthur grabbed onto her, using her as a crutch to stand. Neither sibling realised they were holding onto each other, everyone just focused on the orb of light that entered the circle. Merlin began to glow with the same golden light, his eyes turned to gold unwillingly as his magic took in the life coming toward him.

“Merlin!” Arthur cried out. Merlin’s whole body weakened as the magic raised him into the air. His hair grew into long curls, his chest became tighter and his trousers lighter. The orb entered Merlin’s stomach in a warm wave that made him shudder. The warmth lulled him to sleep. He dreamed of a perfect child with golden hair and glowing golden eyes.

oOoOoOo

The ride back to Camelot was quiet. Arthur looked at his sister who rode with the group. No chains needed. She was returning willingly to Camelot to face her likely execution. Nonetheless, he and Leon agreed to bring her in the magic-resistant manacles. It hurt to see that resignation, but Arthur couldn’t really think about her for now. To his surprise, she’d patched up his wound and healed it with magic in an instant before she’d been chained and helped onto a horse. So, he took up the job of holding onto Merlin’s unconscious body. He didn’t know where to really hold him. He hadn’t wanted to place his hand over the other’s abdomen out of fear of what was growing just underneath but when he’d gone for Merlin’s chest he’d flinched back down as he felt the new mounds adorning Merlin’s upper half.

There were too many things running through his mind and he couldn’t pick a single emotion to settle on. Shock, anger, betrayal, hurt, relief? They were too many to choose from.

Merlin groaned, and Arthur stopped the entourage, turning to look at Merlin’s even more effeminate face. His eyelashes fluttered opened and his eyes slowly focused and then filled with confusion, then they seemed to remember. Merlin tensed.

“What happened?” He asked and frowned, holding his throat, trying to clear his voice. There was no mistaking it. His voice was higher in pitch. Merlin’s eyes widened, and he began to pat himself down, releasing a screech as he felt his chest. Merlin jumped off the horse and felt between his legs and screeched even louder.

“You’re a woman, Merlin.” Morgana offered, looking wildly amused while Leon just looked as shocked as the moment Merlin revealed his magic.

“I am _not_ a woman!” Merlin exclaimed and saw something black around his waist and turned to catch it and realised it was his hair. His eyes widened as he reached higher and cried out as he tangled his fingers in his hair. “Oh my god I’m a woman!” Merlin exclaimed finally freeing his fingers. He was in such a frenzy that he didn’t notice Arthur storm toward him and smack him upside the head. “Ah! What was that for, you clotpole!” Merlin yelled. Arthur gripped him by the shoulders.

“How long? How long have you had magic? How long have you been laughing behind my back while you kept your sorcery a secret?” He yelled. Merlin’s eyes widened. He looked down, finding it hard to breathe.

“Arthur I-”

“No! Save it! I don’t want to hear the words of a trickster like you!” He spat hatefully. Merlin looked up and hurt turned to anger.

“You _will_ listen to me! What did you want me to do? Tell you? What good would that have done? You would have banished me from your side at your earliest convenience!” He yelled, storming after Arthur who had his back turned to him.

“Would you have rather preferred I’d have my father execute you?” Arthur yelled.

“I was not going to risk you sending me away! I needed to be by your side! Protecting you!” He said. Arthur turned furious, gripping him by his shirt.

“I don’t need the protection of a lying sorcerer!”

Merlin actually laughed. “I’ve been protecting you since the first day I got to Camelot. As much as your dear father would like to think it, brute force cannot defeat magic! Only magic can defeat magic! So, you’re welcome for saving your behind and Camelot’s for years, by the way!” He yelled back at him. Arthur clenched his jaw even more, looking as if he was trying to resist running him through.

“You had no right!”

Morgana, still on her horse, pitched in. “Merlin’s right. Revealing ourselves in Camelot would have meant our deaths. At least Merlin did the right thing with it.” Morgana said. She looked defeated, but Arthur could see a glimpse of the old Morgana as she defended Merlin. Arthur clenched his jaw tighter but let go of Merlin.

“Change back to a man, you look ridiculous.” Arthur scoffed, and Merlin stepped back turning around embarrassed. He closed his eyes and let his eyes glow with magic as he tried to change back. Nothing happened and after turning around to an angry Arthur and an amused Morgana and even more confused Leon. He shook his head.

“I can’t.” Merlin said.

“Why not?” He demanded.

“My guess is he’ll stay like this till the babe is born.” Morgana said. They all turned to see the wild amusement barely hidden on his face.

Merlin looked at Arthur in alarm as Arthur looked just as shocked, having almost forgotten about that little detail. Morgana patted Arthur on the arm.

“Congratulations little brother.” She cooed mockingly and both Arthur and Merlin glared at her before they all continued their way back to Camelot. This time Merlin rode with Morgana, who made it her duty to untangle his hair on the way back.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin didn’t feel like a woman. As far as he was concerned, he was still himself. Just with his body parts rearranged. That didn’t stop him from feeling self-conscious as the few townspeople that recognised him looked at him in shock.

Of course, that glimpse in their faces was quickly eclipse by their shock at seeing Lady Morgana returning to the citadel.

“Smile Merlin, you’re carrying the next Pendragon prince.” Morgana said brightly. Everyone turned to glare at her.

“Shut up, Morgana.” Arthur said.

“Make me, I’ll be dead in a number of hours anyway. Let me have my fun.” She said simply. Arthur shut up instead. He glimpsed at Merlin and both turned away when their eyes met.

Once in the entrance Morgana slipped off the horse and stood proud against the approaching guards. Arthur couldn’t pay too much attention to her because Merlin was caught in the saddle while trying to get off. Arthur reached forth and grabbed Merlin’s arm to help him.

“Honestly. Some sorcerer.” Arthur scoffed under his breath, but Merlin heard him and glared. “Guards!” Arthur felt Merlin tense in his hold. Morgana raised her chained wrists voluntarily smirking at the slightly frightened guards. “Raise the guard. My sister Morgana is henceforth under house arrest and is not to leave the castle.” Morgana’s eyes widened as she looked at Arthur for the first time. She lowered her wrists, her amusement gone. “Morgana, _Merlin_. We’re going to see the king.” Arthur said and led the way.

Merlin and Morgana grimaced but followed.

Merlin heard Morgana give a slight gasp at the sight of Uther. He looked as broken as Merlin remembered him. Merlin had the sense to stay back by the door, hoping it would be enough to stay out of Uther’s sight. At the sight of Morgana, recognition filled Uther’s eyes and filled with hurt and then rage.

“What are you doing here?” He hissed. She stepped closer and shrugged.

“I’m here for my execution, father.” She said.

“You… what?”

“I’m tired. You win. You both win. You can finally get rid of the bastard and threat to the crown. A filthy threat born with magic. Once a very frightened little girl, who couldn’t approach those she loved the most in case they sent her away or worse, had her executed.” She hissed and looked down. “Well, that girl has been dead a long time and I’m ready to go too.” She finally said.

Uther said nothing at first, struggling to hold back tears. “You killed so many innocent people.” He whispered.

“And you killed many, many more.” She countered. “I’m not here to apologise. I’m here to die.” She finally said.

Uther collapsed back onto his pillows, staring at his children. “No, I’ll not execute you.” He said softly. “I lied to you both. I can’t imagine how scared you must have been.”

Morgana stared at him, tears beginning to glisten in her eyes. “I was petrified.” She whispered.

Uther stretched out his arm and Morgana stared at him with a hint of fear. Fear that the hug he was offering was not truly what she thought it was.

“My daughter, I’m so sorry.” Uther said.

Morgana broke down, running into Uther’s arms, crying as she felt her father’s forgiveness wash over her. He’d done so many atrocities, but he was still someone she’d held close to her heart for most of her youth. The heart and the mind didn’t always work together when it came to such things.

Merlin watched, noticing how Arthur would keep glancing at him and back at Uther, as if pondering how to breach the topic. Before he could even think of escaping, Morgana drew Uther’s attention.

“I’ll sign to relinquish all claim to the throne.” Morgana said. “But please, no more innocent deaths.” She begged.

Uther looked at her for a long time. “I’ll sign you a royal pardon. But we cannot trust those with magic. Look how they warped your mind.”          

Morgana looked down and then at Arthur.

“Father, you must reconsider. No more innocents can die. If someone performs magic to cause harm, then fair enough but no more of this senseless killing.” Arthur insisted.

“When you are king you’ll understand.”

“That’s not good enough, father.” Arthur pushed stepping closer. “Reconsider.”

Uther frowned and sat up, more awake than he’d been in a long time. The usual cold hardness returning to his eyes. “Do not issue orders to me Arthur.” He said sternly.

“Father-”

“More importantly, what’s the matter with your manservant?” He demanded, and they turned to Merlin who flinched. “Come here boy.” Merlin slowly walked out. The candle light seemed to highlight all his new effeminate features and Uther frowned opening his mouth to speak and closing it again. “You’re a woman.”

“I am _not_ a woman.” Merlin huffed frustrated and cleared his throat. “Your majesty.” He added, looking down.

“You see, father,” Morgana started, and Arthur’s eyes widened, making a tiny shake of his head to shut her up. “A sorceress captured me and then lured Arthur into a trap. She planned to sire the next heir of Camelot.” Uther’s eyes widened at this and turned to Arthur in horror.

“You were enchanted to lie with her?” Uther said horrified. “And you still wish for me to spare those who use magic?” He demanded.

“Listen to me. For once.” Morgana begged, and Uther looked down, guilt making him keep quiet. “She planned to make a child of magic. Like Arthur.” Uther flinched at that, unable to look at Arthur for now. “I was to be the sacrifice of life, so she could live when she birthed the child.” Morgana explained.

“Wait, why are you all telling me this? Why is Arthur’s manservant, well,” He paused trying to find a way to describe Merlin. “a woman?” He repeated. Merlin clenched his jaw but said nothing, feeling utterly humiliated.

“Merlin managed to break out of his restraints. He killed her, which meant a life was given and Arthur’s… essence, stumbled into Merlin. I’m assuming he will remain… a woman until he can birth the child.” Morgana explained. “Or he may stay this way forever, we’ll find out in nine months.” She finished sweetly. Arthur seemed to relax when she didn’t reveal Merlin’s magic.

Uther stared at all three participants and then looked utterly disgusted at Merlin who looked away ashamed. “No one must know about this. We’ll have… Gaius sort this out. There are herbs… remedies that can… end this problem.” Uther said.

Morgana and Merlin didn’t know what to say to that. For once, Arthur thought faster than all of them. “We discussed the possibility already as soon as we arrived. Gaius says it’s not possible as there is magic at play.” Arthur said.

“There must be a way, this… _cannot_ happen.” Uther said, standing in his sleeping gown, looking at Merlin as if he was a complicated pest. Merlin felt very nervous under their scrutiny. But in all honesty, ending the life inside him was not an idea he was entirely averse to. There was no way he could bear the bastard child of Arthur. What would happen in the future? Another Morgana? No, like Uther said, this had to be resolved. He couldn’t let something like this ruin Arthur’s destiny.

But… this life… was already here. He could feel it. It was warm and comforting and it pleased his magic immensely. He could feel his vision blur. For a second, he thought it was from tears. Then he realised he was about to pass out.

He stumbled to Arthur who caught him halfway. “Woah, I’ve got you Merlin.” He said and sat him down on a chair against the wall. Merlin was already coming to.

“I’m fine. I’m alright.” He said softly trying to get back up, but Arthur kept him down.

“I think _everyone_ needs to go catch on some rest… we will discuss everything over dinner. What time is it?” Uther asked frowning, having lost sense of time.

“It’s dawn.” Morgana said. Uther nodded and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Make sure he’s there.” Uther told them both, pointing at Merlin. He turned his attention to Morgana’s chains. “And make sure these chains are removed as soon as possible.” Arthur nodded and wrapped Merlin’s arm over his shoulder. Even as a woman, they were just about the same height, but Merlin definitely felt lighter as he helped him out of the room. Morgana swept after them.

“I can’t believe it.” Arthur whispered.

“I’m being pardoned.” Morgana whispered as if Arthur hadn’t spoken.

“I’m going to be a father.” Arthur whispered as if _Morgana_ hadn’t spoken.

“Yes, yes, your lives are perfect.” Merlin grumbled and pulled away from Arthur, steadying himself against the wall as the dizziness was almost fully gone. He grabbed Morgana’s chains and with a glow of his eyes, the chains opened and fell off. Merlin grabbed them and began to walk away.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Arthur asked.

“To my room? I’m going through a very difficult time right now, I think you’ll find.” Merlin said and made his way down the corridors.

oOoOoOo

Merlin thought he’d be able to sleep through the rest of the day until dinner. After Gaius got over the shock he was checked up and down and deemed fit as a fiddle. Then why, an hour before this cursed dinner was he sitting in Morgana’s chambers, which had been cleaned out and re-stocked with all the needs of a lady. Now, Morgana looked every bit as stunning now that she’d had a good bath and oiled her hair nicely. But she still looked a little pale and weary from her life in the forest. However, a fire burned in her eyes that didn’t burn before, despite how fiery she did used to be.

Still, he didn’t understand why Merlin himself was sitting in Morgana’s deep blue dress, adorned in her jewels and getting his own hair oiled up by her.

“Really Morgana, have you gone insane? Uther will keel over and die.” Merlin said, narrowing his eyes at her reflection. She hummed to herself braiding his hair.

“I don’t care. I live under no king.” She stuck another pin in his hair. “I love Uther, and hate him, but he’s my father and the man who raised me, so I guess I love him.” She shrugged. “Anyway, I am here to be myself, not orphan Lady Morgana. I’m not going to pretend that nothing’s happened.” She sighed and finished with his hair.

“Arthur will keel over and die.” Merlin grumbled, slumping back onto the chair, looking miserable.

“Ooh, if that did the trick I would have knocked you up sooner.” She joked, patting his arms and Merlin jumped a little and glared at her annoyed. He wasn’t entirely sure how much of her jokes were actually jokes.

“You can’t be actually enjoying this whole mess. What am I saying? Of course, you are.” Merlin said standing up and pacing in her room while she sat down and played with her hair.

“Of course, I am. Seeing you, get fatter and fatter with Arthur’s little bastard.” She cooed petting his abdomen and he smacked her hand away, guarding his stomach from her. She may have signed to not be in line for the throne but that didn’t mean he trusted her entirely. After all, she was a little bit unhinged. “Believe me, there is no greater joy and sense of justice, than knowing that Uther’s chosen heir, Arthur, will have a son of magic with a sorcerer, and itself will be born with magic.” She said grinning widely.

Merlin narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head. “We’re going to be late.” He mumbled. She hummed to herself as she stood tall, sauntering all the way to the dining hall, Merlin following close behind, looking far less poised with his shoulders slouched and his arms crossed over his… under his chest.

He entered the dining room. The meal was already set on the table. Uther was sitting at the head of the table, looking highly pensive with cold hateful eyes that hardened even more as they lay their sights on Merlin.

Uther turned to the remaining servants. “Out, all of you.”

Arthur rushed in then and went to sit down, not noticing them at first but doing a double take as he pulled out his chair, staring at Merlin frozen.

“Merlin… you’re wearing a dress.” Arthur pointed out.

“Morgana bullied me.” Merlin grumbled, looking at the door, wishing he could make his way back out.

“I thought it would help him blend in better.” Morgana said. “Wouldn’t want people to think we had a pretty lady in men’s garments.” She said sweetly and went to sit down. Uther just stared at her for a while, as if unable to believe that she was truly there. His eyes softened incredibly as he gazed at Morgana but hardened once more as he looked at Merlin.

“Boy, my cup needs filling.” He ordered. Merlin tensed slightly as the other addressed him. He tugged at the long sleeves of the dress, worried that he’d splash a drop of wine on it at some point of the night and stain it.

He walked round Arthur’s chair and picked up the jug, filling the king’s cup and keeping his eyes low as he always did when he was serving. Brother and sister flickered between looking at each other and glancing at Merlin while Uther drank a good couple of gulps of wine.

“Now, let’s take this chance to decide what’s going to happen with this… predicament.” Uther said, glancing at Merlin with distaste and Merlin flinched, turning to fill Arthur’s goblet. Morgana had been assuming that Merlin would be joining the dinner. Merlin knew he wasn’t. Seems like everything was falling into place how it should be. Merlin was born to serve Arthur.

He went to pour Morgana some, but she stopped him by grabbing the second jug on the table and serving herself. Merlin instead put the jug down and went to stand just behind Arthur, to await further orders.

“Well, for one, father, I propose that the… _mother_ of my child take a seat and eat something.” Arthur said, standing and pulling out the chair for Merlin, guiding him over to the chair, while Merlin looked petrified, ready to hear any complaint from Uther.

Merlin could almost feel as if a noose was getting tighter and tighter around his neck and Uther was holding the other end. Any second now he expected the command for execution.

“Do _not_ claim this child Arthur. It is far too unnatural a situation to do so.” He said and stared at Merlin. “We will say that your manservant has been cursed by a sorcerer. Turning him into a woman. Then… yes, we can say a group of bandits caught him and defiled him in the forest, hence, a child.”

Merlin couldn’t take a bite of the luscious food. The mere implication of Uther’s words made his skin crawl.

“Absolutely not! I’ll not have Merlin humiliated like that! As if this situation isn’t mortifying enough for everyone!” Arthur exclaimed.

“Truly, father, what then, you claim the child? Make it another ward of the king? Truly man is the only fool capable of stumbling over the same rock twice.” She scoffed, having no problem taking a bit of a savage bite off her leg of chicken.

“Of course, I’m going to claim my son. It’s the honourable thing to do.” Arthur said firmly.

Uther opened his mouth to argue. “The honourable thing would be to marry me.” Merlin joked making everyone at the table freeze. Uther looked at him horrified as did Arthur. Morgana simply looked to be having a blast. “Ridiculous, isn’t it? Perhaps the king is right, sire.” Merlin said to Arthur.

“Absolutely not! What about your virtue?”

“He’s a servant, Arthur, he has no virtue to protect. His female appearance is merely for the magic to keep that child in its ideal environment.” Uther reprimanded.

“Then for the sake of my child’s dignity.” Arthur said passionately. Merlin sighed as he sat back on the chair, staring at the meal.

“One, he’s a servant, two, he’s a man, three, he’s not even from Camelot!” Uther yelled slamming his hand on the table. Merlin jumped slightly and told himself to calm down. Uther had yet to know about his magic.

“Maybe we need to take time to come to terms with all of this. Merlin won’t be showing for a while. Let’s take our time to think of solutions and then decide. But for now, why don’t we get Merlin nice and plump.” She teased.

“Can you not do that, Morgana?” Uther demanded. “This is a serious matter.”

“I am very serious.” She said calmly. “Eat up Merlin.” She said. Uther clenched his jaw, looking like he didn’t know what to say. Finally, he simply continued to eat.

Merlin sighed and looked down at the food and then at Arthur, starting to eat slowly. He did manage to finish his meal until he was full. He couldn’t manage much, but he was still full when he finished. He just wasn’t used to such fine foods and even if he was eating for two his body still wasn’t getting the message.

It was the tensest meal Merlin had ever had.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin was grateful when that hellish meal finished and almost made it to Gaius. Instead he was dragged by Arthur to his room and sat down on the prince’s chair.

“I would be more careful, if I were you. I’m carrying precious cargo here.” Merlin said sarcastically, and Arthur glared at him in annoyance.

“You are going to tell me, right now, exactly what your plans are… _sorcerer_.” Arthur hissed.

“Really? Arthur-”

“Address me appropriately.” Arthur hissed. Merlin stared at him for a long time and looked down.

“This wasn’t part of any plan. I didn’t plan to get caught by Lana, or to get turned into a woman, or to reveal my magic to you.”

“So, you were planning to continue lying to me! What where you waiting for? The ideal opportunity to strike at the heart of Camelot and leave it vulnerable?” Arthur demanded.

Merlin dropped the jokes and sarcasm. He could well sense that this wasn’t the time for it.

“Arthur, I have never done anything to hurt you or Camelot.” Merlin said. “I didn’t choose magic, I was born with it.” Anger flashed in the prince’s eyes as he slammed his hand on the table much like his father did a few hours before.

“You are a liar! What makes you think I’m going to believe you when you’ve been lying to me all this time?” He hissed and stormed away. Merlin looked down and resisted the burning in his eyes.

“Arthur, I swear to you that I have only ever used my magic to protect you. To keep _you_ safe.” Merlin insisted.

“I never _needed_ nor _asked_ for _your_ protection!” Arthur shouted fiercely at him.

“But you _did_ need it Arthur. So many times that I’ve lost count.” Merlin insisted. The hate in Arthur’s eyes was palpable and he covered his mouth, too close to crying. There was no reason to cry! This wasn’t the end! “You would have sent me away at the very least! I couldn’t risk that. If I left you unguarded to magical attack and you died you’d never fulfil your destiny!” Arthur was pacing, as if not knowing what he was going to do.

“Destiny? What _destiny_?!” He yelled.

“Will you stop shouting! You know what would happen if Uther finds out about me.” Merlin whispered and Arthur clenched his hands into fists, as if trying to contain his anger and finally sat down to the chair closest to him on the table.

“I trusted you.” He said and Merlin couldn’t find words to reply to him. Neither one spoke for a while. “Well… do you feel any differently?” Arthur asked, seeming to change the subject for now.

Merlin wiped away the moisture from his face and shrugged embarrassed. “Besides the obvious…” He said motioning round his chest. “Not really.” He said softly. “Arthur, one day you’ll be the greatest king there ever was… but are you sure you want to claim a servant’s child? A child from a man for heaven’s sake!”

“I’m not having this argument with you too, Merlin.” Arthur said.

“Arthur…” Merlin leaned forward. “This isn’t right.” He insisted.

“No… it isn’t.” Arthur said and looked straight at him. Merlin stared right back. “But it is what it is.” Arthur sighed. “Now, tell me about this destiny you’re so inclined to follow.” Arthur said and reached to grab his goblet. Merlin automatically reached for the jug and poured Arthur some wine. Arthur gave Merlin the goblet once it had a decent amount and proceeded to fill another goblet that was on the table. Merlin took a long sip of wine and sighed softly.

“Well, when I first came to Camelot I spoke to the great dragon who told me I had a great destiny.” He said with a flourish, rolling his eyes.

“I thought this was going to be about my destiny.” Arthur said, his usual cockiness showing.

“If you’d let me finish.” Merlin said. Arthur put his hands up and kept drinking his wine. “He told me that my destiny was linked to yours. _Arthur is the Once and Future King that will unite the land of Albion. But he faces many threats from friends and foe alike. Without you, Merlin, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion._ ” Merlin recited in a poor replica of the dragon’s voice. “When I first heard that I was convinced the dragon had the wrong Arthur. You were an idiot back then.” Merlin said sipping his own drink.

Arthur sneered at him and crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head. “The dragon told you this? The dragon that attacked Camelot and killed so many innocents.” He said, staring at Merlin down. Merlin nodded slowly.

“Uther killed all his family, his kind and then chained it to the dungeons for more than twenty years. Imagine what you would do if that happened to you.” Merlin whispered. Arthur looked at him and narrowed his eyes.

“Never, I would never kill innocents.” He said. Merlin looked down.

“Neither would I but I’ve never known that kind of loss, not really.” Arthur stared at him for a long time.

“It’s getting late… you should probably go.” Arthur said.

“You’re probably right.” Merlin said softly. They both stood and went for the door. Arthur opened it but stopped Merlin, keeping him behind the door.

“May I ask why you’re guarding my door?” Arthur demanded.

“Apologies, sire. The king has ordered it for the night.”

“I don’t suppose he said why?” Arthur said.

“I’m afraid not, sire.”

“Very well then.” Arthur closed the door and turned to Merlin who huffed. “Now what?”

Merlin closed his eyes. _“Morgana, are you under curfew too?”_

 _“Hilarious, isn’t it? I could easily blast my way out of here.”_ She answered back. _“Why are you under curfew?”_

 _“I don’t know if I am, I’m in Arthur’s rooms right now.”_ Merlin said.

 _“How cute, will we expect a wedding soon?”_ Morgana teased and Merlin clenched his jaw in annoyance as her laughed echoed its way out of his mind. He turned to Arthur.

“Earth to Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“Sorry, just checking in with Morgana. She’s under curfew too.”

“Oh, you can talk mentally. That’s just perfect.” He shook his head in disbelief. “So what do we do now? You shouldn’t be staying in my quarters this late.” Arthur said. He began pacing the room thinking about it.

“Well, we could try the window.” Merlin said going toward it. They both leaned over the edge to look at the long drop and stepped back.

“We’ve tried this before, with rope, might I add, and it still wasn’t long enough. Unless your magic can somehow lower you down?” Arthur said. Merlin hummed to himself as he looked down.

“Wouldn’t hurt to try.” He said.

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong. You could die.” Arthur said walking back into the room.

“I could give it a go.” Merlin said.

“No, absolutely not. I’m not having you endanger the child.” Arthur commanded.

Merlin scoffed as he turned back to see Arthur starting to strip down to his trousers for bed. “Wait, you’re just going to go to bed? What am I supposed to do then?” Merlin asked annoyed. Arthur threw a pillow his way. Merlin managed to catch it after it hit him on the face.

“Sleep.” Arthur said and Merlin glared at him while he made a big show about getting comfortable in bed.

Merlin grumbled and tried to pull the dress off over his shoulders since he couldn’t reach the ribbons at the back. It didn’t go past his waist. He groaned and grumbled as he tried pulling at it from different angles.

“What on _earth_ are you doing?” He heard Arthur say and Merlin huffed and pushed the dress back down. Merlin could feel his hair completely out of place now.

“I’m trying to take this thing off.” Merlin huffed to blow a strand of messy curls off his face. Arthur frowned, looking at Merlin as if he was a confusing enigma. Finally he chuckled, amused.

“Well, you’ve proven me very wrong indeed. Despite my sincerest belief of the opposite, you actually make a terrible girl, Merlin.” He teased. “Sleep in it.” He said simply. Merlin glared at him.

“Easy for you to say! You have no idea how restrictive and tight this dress is. Come on, I’ve dressed you for years, now return the favour.”

“Favour? That’s your job.” Arthur said turning his head away from him and buried his face into the pillow.

“Fine, you’ll let the mother of your child sleep on the ground with a restrictive dress? How honourable.” Merlin said and put the pillow on the floor, starting to get down.

He heard Arthur sigh. “Merlin, wait.” Merlin stood up and Arthur rolled his eyes, groaning as he got out of the bed and turned him around by the shoulders. Merlin reached with both hands and pulled his hair to his front so Arthur could start undoing the dress. He felt the other’s fingers as he pulled at the ribbons holding the dress together. Finally, he felt it loosen enough for him to let the dress drop to the ground and step out of it.

“Oh, thank goodness, that feels much better.” Merlin turned around to thank Arthur who instantly turned away in alarm.

“What are you doing?” Arthur demanded.

“What do you mean?” Merlin asked looking down. He was in undershorts and his hair was parted evenly to his front, covering the breasts as he stood just one garment away from being completely naked before the prince. “What?” He asked. “I’ve seen you naked plenty of times when drawing you baths. We’re both men.” Merlin said reaching down to pick up the dress and went to lay it down on a chair.

“Except, _you_ are a woman in this present moment.” Arthur hissed, glancing to the door, probably worried about the guards barging in.

“Well, unless you’re going to lend me one of your shirts, quit complaining.” Merlin said and was surprised when Arthur threw the shirt to his face. Merlin took it and glanced at Arthur, waiting for him to change his mind. When Arthur simply went to bed Merlin slipped the shirt on. It smelled strongly of Arthur. Sandalwood. Merlin felt his face heat up slightly. “Stinks of you.” Merlin said and went to lie down on the floor. At least he had the pillow. He sighed trying to get comfortable on the cold floor. It wasn’t even cleaned properly while they were away. His ridiculously long hair was probably going to end up covered in dust by morning.

“Merlin.” Arthur’s voice called out his name.

“What?” He mumbled annoyed. There was a silence.

“Get in the bed.” Arthur said.

“Hah! What _would_ people say?” He said sarcastically, completely convinced the other didn’t just ask him to get into bed with him.

He heard a rustling of sheets and then silence. Then a pair of strong arms scooped him up from under his knees and back.

“Hey! What-what are you doing?” Merlin demanded. Arthur dumped him unceremoniously on the bed. It was soft enough that Merlin didn’t mind it as much.

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” Arthur said. Merlin scoffed as he got on his knees, leaning over the foot of the bed to see Arthur get his head on the pillow.

“Why don’t you get in here? It’s big enough for two.” Merlin offered.

“It wouldn’t be appropriate.” Arthur mumbled, eyes closed, clearly trying to drown Merlin’s voice out.

“I’m already pregnant, what else could you do to me?” Merlin teased earning a glare from Arthur.

“You’re right. This is ridiculous.” Arthur said and stood up, patting the pillow clean and getting back into bed. Merlin grinned innocently, and Arthur rolled his eyes. Merlin got comfortable. There was enough room between them that they weren’t touching but Merlin could still feel the other’s heat radiating from his side. He tried to ignore it. A few minutes passed of silence. Sleep began to draw Merlin in. “Nope. This is not going to work.” Arthur stated and Merlin groaned not opening his eyes.

“Why?”

“I always sleep on the right.” Arthur said. Merlin huffed annoyed and simply climbed over Arthur, temporarily straddling him as he made his way across. “What are you doing?” Arthur screeched looking up at him horrified.

Merlin had another reason to be horrified. “Oh my god.” He hurried to get off to Arthur’s left. “ _How_ can you be hard at this time?” He demanded.

“Shut up, Merlin!” Arthur grumbled. “I’ve never had a woman in my bed. What do you want me to do?” He scoffed and turned his back to Merlin, clearly embarrassed behind all that annoyance.

“It’s just me! Honestly, control yourself!” Merlin shook his head and turned his back to Arthur, ignoring the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach at the situation. Suddenly, feeling the other’s heat radiate to his own back made him shudder but didn’t mention anything lest he give Arthur a reason to kick him off the bed. He was close to falling asleep when Arthur kicked his leg lightly.

“The lights are still on. Get up and turn them off.” Arthur mumbled. Merlin raised his hand and a wind swept past the room turning off all the candles. “Forgot you could do that.” Arthur mumbled, and everything went quiet for a while longer.

Merlin got nice and comfortable as he waited for Arthur’s breathing to start to slow down.

“Hey Arthur.”

“What?” Arthur groaned, annoyed.

“What about Gwen?” He asked softly. Arthur seemed to stop breathing for a second. “You love her.” He said softly.

“I don’t want to talk about Gwen.” He said softly.

“You’re going to have to at some point.” He insisted.

“Shut up, Merlin.” Merlin pressed his head into the pillow and finally let sleep claim him as he pretended that this was just another hunting trip that required them to sleep so close.


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur could barely sleep. Somehow, he managed a couple of hours and woke up sometime around dawn. They’d both turned to face each other at some point in the night. Right now, Merlin was sleeping, his face squished into the pillow, hair all over his face, blankets off, shirt ridding up exposing part of his smooth abdomen. A light snore left his lips and Arthur pressed his lips together trying to hold back a laugh. Even with the effeminate additions, this was still Merlin in every sense of the word.

His hair was annoying Arthur. He reached over and gently moved a strand of messy curls away from Merlin’s face. He accidently caressed Merlin’s pale skin and flinched as Merlin sighed softly in his sleep and the corners of his lips moved to a soft smile. He pulled his hand back. What on earth was he doing? This was Merlin! The idiotic, loyal, bravest manservant Arthur had ever known. In the end he was a sorcerer. He shook his head. Merlin saved them all. His head ached trying to figure out what the best course of action would be. His first thoughts were about Gwen. His heart ached wondering what her reaction would be once Merlin’s state was revealed.

He lay down his face on the pillow, intent on getting up early but next time he blinked, the sun was higher up in the sky and Merlin was just stretching beside him. He yawned and turned to Merlin who was blinking confused, clearly trying to remember where he was. He looked at Arthur and sat up alarmed.

“Right! Breakfast!” He said throwing the top blanket off to get out of bed. He obviously forgot that Arthur used two blankets in the autumn and got tangled in the sheet, rolling off the side of the bed.

“Woah!” Arthur reached and caught him before he fell off entirely and pulled him back onto the bed. “What are you doing?” Arthur asked. Merlin frowned.

“I’m late to start work.” He said.

“And how were you planning to get to work? Dressed like Morgana? Or dressed like me?” Arthur asked. Merlin scoffed but didn’t have time to reply before Uther himself stormed in, Leon beside him.

“Arthur!” Uther hissed horrified. Merlin and Arthur looked at each other. A mess of tangled limbs, Merlin on his back and Arthur above him.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Both shouted to the king. Leon’s eyes were wide as saucers, confusion with a hint of amusement in his expression.

“Arthur, he is a man!” Uther hissed as if they hadn’t spoken. They got off the bed and Merlin stood feeling sheepish as he was still in Arthur’s shirt and lady’s undergarments. Uther and Leon both looked away from him. “Dress her up decently!” Uther demanded.

“Which is it father, is he a man or a woman?” Arthur said.

“I don’t know! He’s both for now, but since he looks like a woman he’ll dress like a woman. Leon, send a maid to get the manservant some dresses. He can work in the kitchens for now.” Uther said.

“No, father. I want to keep Merlin at my side.” Arthur insisted. He wasn’t comfortable having a sorcerer out of his sight for so long during the day, or that’s what he told himself.

“Have you gone mad?” Uther whispered.

“As my man…maid… servant?” Arthur asked, looking at Merlin who shrugged.

“It is the only job I know how to do sire. I’d probably end up burning down the kitchens accidentally by the end of the day.” Merlin said. Uther frowned eyeing Merlin. Leon returned with a couple of dresses and Merlin mumbled thanks, pulling off Arthur’s shirt before Arthur could stop him. All three men turned their backs to him.

“Merlin! You can’t just undress like that!” Leon said.

“Sorry! Still getting used to this!” Merlin exclaimed, slipping the cotton dress on, tying the front. “There. I’ll go get breakfast!” Merlin said all too eager to get out of the scene.

Arthur watched him go and wished he could escape with him. He straightened up and turned to his father as if he wasn’t standing there in just his trousers.

“Yes, father?” He asked.

“I have come to inform you…” He started slowly. “That Leon has told me how well you’ve been managing the kingdom while I have been unwell. You’ve done a good job, Arthur.”

“Thank you, father.” Arthur said though somehow, the pride at those words had dwindled since his father suggested Merlin end the life growing inside him.

“He’s also told me what your new knights did for Camelot in its hour of need. I will allow your decision to stand.” Arthur felt relief as he heard that. “The other knights arrived last night and will surely want to see you are well. Make sure you’re not late for training.” Uther said and turned to leave.

“Father…” Uther turned to look at him. “Why was my room guarded last night?” He asked. Uther frowned confused.

“Guarded? I didn’t ask for your rooms to be guarded.” He said. Arthur narrowed his eyes. This was Morgana’s doing!

“Never mind, father. I won’t be late for training.”

“Yes… well…” Uther finally turned to leave, and Leon gave Arthur a look before shaking his head. So Leon had yet to betray Merlin’s magic to the king. It showed his true loyalties as far as Arthur was concerned. He found himself relieved. He tried to picture Merlin getting pulled to the pyre and the image shocked him so much that he shuddered, shaking his head.

Arthur huffed and went to sit down when Merlin barged into the room with breakfast and slightly out of breath.

“What, did you fight the cook for it?” Arthur joked.

“Almost, she almost wouldn’t believe it was me at first.” Merlin said and sighed putting down a plate of sausages, cheese, bread and some fruit on the side. He poured Arthur the hot drink of milk with honey and spices. Perfect for the dropping temperatures.

“Have you eaten breakfast?” Arthur asked.

“Oh, I’ll grab something later.” Merlin said.

“I’d rather not. You’re far too skinny to be carrying a child and this is too much for me.” Arthur said splitting everything in half and letting Merlin share his breakfast. Merlin stared at Arthur for a long time as if he’d grown a second head. “What?” He asked annoyed.

“You’re being nice to me. Is it because I’m a woman, or because I’m pregnant?” Merlin asked. “Maybe you’re just ill.”

Arthur scoffed. “It’s probably the first two, idiot. Now eat.” Arthur said, and Merlin started to join the other’s breakfast.

“You do know servants aren’t really supposed to eat the meats and cheese?” Merlin asked biting into a well fried sausage. Relishing the taste of combining it with some soft white bread.

“Well, you’re feeding a prince.” Arthur said.

Merlin rolled his eyes and ate silently. He drank the milk and honey and ate quietly. Arthur too fell quiet, watching Merlin eat his meal. He seemed deep in thought as he ate and Arthur had to wonder just what he was thinking.

“I’m sorry.” Arthur said.

“What?” Merlin said looking at him shocked.

“I’m sorry.” Arthur repeated. “You’re in a situation no man would ever want to be in, most likely.”

“Oh, I’m no stranger to unwanted situations.” Merlin said but his smile faded slowly. “It’s just… now there’s going to be someone else involved.” Merlin looked down at his stomach but didn’t rub it as women are fond of doing. Instead he took another bite of breakfast. “You do realise this child will have magic.” Merlin said softly.

“No it won’t because you won’t be teaching it any of it.” Arthur said and drank more of the warm drink.

“Arthur, I was _born_ with my magic. I have a very strong feeling this child will too.” Merlin said softly.

“I don’t want to think about that for now.” Arthur paused as he looked at Merlin who shook his head, jaw tight as if dying to say several things a manservant or lady would never dream of saying.

“As you wish, my lord.” Merlin said simply, finishing the food. As Arthur finished, Merlin began collecting the plates and Arthur stared at him. Having the mother of his child still a servant. It didn’t seem right to him. “What?” Merlin asked. Arthur shook his head.

“Nothing… for now.” Merlin sent him an odd look at that but continued his duties. Arthur huffed and went to collect his armour pieces, throwing the chainmail on. Merlin came to help him, setting the pieces together, tying the correct straps.

For a second, everything seemed back to normal. They walked down to training, Merlin gave him his chosen weapons, took back the ones he’d used and gave them a light clean while Arthur continued to spar with the knights.

oOoOoOo

“Wow, Merlin. So it’s true.” Merlin turned to see Gwen standing there with a basket of food, admiring Merlin in a dress and looking as if she didn’t know whether to laugh or look sorry. Merlin tensed. What could he possibly say to Gwen? After all the suffering she’d been through so that she and Arthur could have some happiness.

“Yeah, I’ve been cursed.” Merlin said, remembering the lie.

“Yes… well, do they know for how long?” She asked. Merlin wiped down the hilt of the sword.

“Hmm… I don’t know… a year, maybe less.” He said, pretending there was a difficult stain on the weapon.

“Are you alright?” She asked and Merlin looked up briefly at her kind smile. Her concern only made Merlin feel all the more miserable.

“Sorry, all these female emotions. They’ve got me confused.” Merlin tried. She blinked and let out a scoff.

“All these ‘female’ emotions?”

“Yeah… you know…” Merlin tried but Gwen only opened her eyes wider, waiting for a response, which Merlin didn’t have. “Feelings…” He said pathetically.

“Oh, of course.” She said pretending to understand but it was blatantly obvious that she found his answer ridiculous.

“Merlin!”

“Got to go.” Merlin said and rushed to Arthur’s side, sighing with relief. Arthur wasn’t looking at him as he approached. He only had eyes for Gwen.

“What did you tell Gwen?” Arthur asked softly, for only Merlin to hear, but Merlin could feel the tension in his tone.

“Nothing. That I was cursed to be a woman… nothing else.” Merlin said softly, taking Arthur’s gauntlets as he handed them to him.

“She knows nothing of the child?” He asked.

“Of course not… not until I know what you and your father want.” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him and Merlin looked away. Suddenly he felt more out of place than he’d ever felt when it was just his magic. “What _do_ you want?” He asked. Arthur looked at him and then over his shoulder. Merlin turned for a second and saw Gwen smiling warmly at Arthur before heading back to the palace. Merlin felt an unpleasant twist in his gut and turned to look back at Arthur. He could see everything good about Arthur shining in his gentle eyes there and then. Arthur didn’t answer and went back to the knights.

Leon came by as Arthur returned to the rest of the group. “Are you alright?” Leon asked. Merlin tried to smile but it felt fake.

“I don’t know. Maybe the best thing is for me to leave.” He said softly.

“No, I don’t think so. Who would continue to save us?” Leon smiled and patted him on the shoulder, giving it a firm shake before returning to training. Merlin felt a sigh of relief. At least Leon was still treating him like a man.


	5. Chapter 5

Gwaine and Lancelot stared at Merlin as he tripped over his skirts and managed to catch himself before falling flat on the ground as he returned to the weapons rack. They saw Leon talking to Merlin and went to him, dragging him behind one of the tents.

“Alright Leon, what’s the story?” Gwaine asked. Leon stood straight and shook his head.

“That’s for the prince to say.”

“Is it? What did he say of Merlin’s magic?” Gwaine said and both Lancelot and Leon’s eyes widened as they turned to him. Lancelot suspected Leon knew, but to go out and practically admit it? What if it wasn’t the secret Leon was keeping?

“How did you know?” Leon whispered.

“Oh, I’ve known for longer than I’ve been a knight. Merlin getting cursed into a woman? Please.” Gwaine said.

“He is quite fierce, I too don’t see him getting cursed so easily.” Lancelot said. Leon sighed and looked at the ground, hands on his hips, before deciding to speak.

“Princess Lana was a sorceress. You know this. She captured all of us. Morgana too was captured. She used a spell to have a child with the prince.” He started. “Merlin broke free, freed us with his magic and interrupted the ritual. Morgana killed her and the ritual chose Merlin as the… child’s host.” Leon said.

“Merlin’s _pregnant_?!” Percival interrupted, coming around the corner.

“Shh!” Leon hissed dragging Percival into the group.

“And he has magic?” Percival insisted and Gwaine punched him on the shoulder.

“Shut up, before someone else overhears!” Gwaine whispered and all four of them looked at each other.

“Is he right?” Lancelot asked Leon. “Is Merlin pregnant with Arthur’s child?” He asked. Leon took a deep breath and finally nodded. “But… what about Guinevere?” He asked.

“The prince hasn’t had much time to think things through.” Leon said softly.

“Does the king know?” Lancelot asked.

“Yes about the child, not about his magic. I don’t think I need to mention why it’s so important to keep that from reaching his majesty’s ears.” Leon said. They all nodded.

oOoOoOo

Arthur glanced to the tent where the shields are kept, spotting the tale-tale silver glimpses of his four missing knights.

“Merlin, tell those idiots to come out from there.” Arthur said. Merlin looked up at the tent and grinned.

“Yes, sire.” He said and walked on ahead, Arthur shaking his head as he went to train with the rest of the knights, choosing Elyan as his sparing partner.

Merlin heard them whispering to themselves and came around the corner confused. “What are you all doing?” He asked. They froze and turned their heads to him. “Alright, what are you planning? You all look like game about to be hunted.” Merlin said. Instead of a response, Gwaine came and pulled Merlin into a hug. Merlin groaned as he was pressed against the cold hard metal of the other’s breastplate.

“My poor, poor Merlin.” Gwaine said petting his hair.

“What are you doing?” Merlin complained, his voice muffled by the other’s hug. Percival came to his rescue and pushed Gwaine away from him.

“You can’t smother a pregnant lady like that, what’s wrong with you? Are you all right merlin? Not feeling faint?” Percival asked and Merlin turned accusingly at Leon.

“You told them?” He said shocked.

“I’m sorry, Gwaine caught me by surprise when he said he knew of your magic.” Leon said and Merlin turned to glare at Gwaine who looked away as if he hadn’t heard what had just been said and was finding the passing swallow very interesting.

“And… you’re alright with it?” He asked them, mostly turning to Percival who was still looking him over in concern.

“Were you worried we’d think you a threat?” Leon scoffed and Merlin glared softly at him, somehow offended.

“I can be dangerous.” He tried. All four of them laughed boisterously and Merlin felt his face heat up in embarrassment.

“What on earth are you idiots doing? Merlin! I told you to get them to return to training!” Arthur exclaimed.

“Apologies sire.” Percival said.

“Merlin began to feel faint, you know these lady airs women get.” Gwaine said fanning Merlin with his hand until Merlin smacked it away.

“Shut up, idiot. They know, Arthur. About me.” Merlin said.

“About you? What part?” Arthur asked looking at the knights intently.

“Both parts.” All four replied and Merlin flinched as Arthur glared at him.

“Merlin, you really are an idiot.” Arthur said and Merlin sighed.

“Probably.” He mumbled.

A rumble up above interrupted their conversation and Merlin looked up to see the dark clouds of rain.

“Training’s finished. Since all four of you decided to skip the last part, you can all stay back, collect and polish everyone’s armour.” Arthur said. “Merlin, prepare me a bath.” Arthur walked away and Merlin sighed, going ahead before turning to the four knights.

“No one else can know.” He told them.

“We won’t tell a soul.” Lancelot said and Merlin nodded, walking away, holding his skirts up slightly to prevent tripping on them again as he went to catch up to Arthur.

oOoOoOo

“So it must have been Morgana.” Arthur said as he undressed behind his screen.

“Why would Morgana have you guarded?” Merlin asked. “We made her swear on her magic that she wouldn’t try to betray Camelot again.” He said filling Arthur’s bath.

“I think she’s trying to meddle in this messy business.” Arthur said and Merlin scoffed shaking his head. He poured the final bucket of water into Arthur’s bath and raised his hand, whispering the heating spell he needed.

“Bath’s ready!” Merlin called, picking out something for Arthur to wear before proceeding to grab a cloth and the spare bucket he’d brought with him. He decided to start his work by the dinning table. That one always got the dirtiest with crumbs.

He ignored the sound of Arthur getting into the water as he got on his knees and began to scrub at the floor. One quick spell and he only had to do one quick sweep instead of any repeated scrubbing, but he wasn’t good enough to just enchant the whole floor clean yet. He managed ten minutes of cleaning before he was interrupted.

“Merlin. Stop that.” Arthur called over and Merlin jumped, a little startled, turning to look at the golden haired prince.

“What? The floor’s dirty.” Merlin said.

“I don’t care. You’re carrying my child, I don’t want to see you on your knees scrubbing the blasted floor.” Arthur said. Merlin sighed and stood, throwing the cloth back onto the bucked.

“What do you want me to do then? I have no idea what my role is any more. To the other servants I’m something to be pitied, to the knights I seem to be a pet that now needs protecting, Morgana is keeping busy by trying to get me into fancy dresses and I’m pretty sure Uther is plotting to get rid of me as we speak. Not to mention Gwen-”

“I told you _not_ to mention Gwen!” Arthur yelled at him and Merlin stopped, looking at him seriously.

“Arthur, your one reason for not being with the woman you love was that it went against everything you were raised to believe. You both accepted that you couldn’t be together because she was a servant. But you should see the way you two look at each other.” Merlin whispered. Arthur looked at him for a long time before looking away.

“Nothing can happen between her and I. We both know this.”

“And yet, here _I_ am, pregnant with your child. A servant. A male servant, need I remind you.” Merlin said sternly. Arthur wasn’t turning toward him, choosing to ignore him. “Maybe I _should_ ask Gaius about some herbs… it might not be too late.” Merlin said softly, though the words almost made him sick.

“You will do no such thing!” Arthur yelled, finally turning to look at him. “I don’t want you to ever mention such a thing to me again. Now get out of my sight.”

Merlin looked down and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. He took a deep breath before making his way down to Gaius’ quarters. He entered quietly. Gaius looked up at him and stopped grinding the herbs he’d been working on.

“My dear boy.” That was all it took for Merlin to cross the room and throw himself into the other’s arms, crying into the old man’s shoulder while Gaius rubbed soft circles on his back.

“I’ve ruined it, Gaius. I’ve ruined everything.” Merlin cried.

“Oh, Merlin. You can’t blame yourself.” Gaius said softly, sitting him down and moving to pour him something hot to drink. He added a couple of drops of a calming tonic and Merlin sipped the drink slowly. “You know as well as I do that the Old Religion must be at play to have turned you into a woman when it did. Otherwise the spell would have never taken hold.” Gaius said. Merlin let out a long breath.

“What do I do, Gaius? Gwen is everything to Arthur. They love each other.” Merlin said softly, already feeling a little bit better as he sipped the drink. “Arthur has a destiny.” He whispered.

“Merlin, a child won’t stop destiny.” Gaius said softly, giving his hand a squeeze. Merlin looked up at him, not knowing what to think.

“What if it’s born with magic, Gaius? What if it starts moving things in front of Uther before it can even sit up? The way I did? What then?” Merlin whispered.

“Merlin, there’s no guarantee that will happen.” Gaius said softly. Merlin looked down.

“But it could.” He whispered.

“Then cross that bridge when you come to it. There’s no use getting stressed about it now.” Gaius said softly. “Stress can harm the child.” He said and Merlin released a humourless laugh as he shook his head and put his face in his hands. “Shall I ask Gwen to take Arthur his dinner tonight?”

Merlin considered it, and then shook his head. “No… with the way I left, he’ll probably think I did something crazy.” He didn’t give an explanation at Gaius’ questioning look. “I’ll go.” He said and patted the dress before making his way to the door. He finally looked at his mentor and smiled. “Thank you Gaius.” He said softly.

oOoOoOo

Arthur sat at his desk, staring at his work as he’d been doing for the past half hour, without really doing anything. He glanced at the discarded bucket and cloth and sighed, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling. With the click of the door, Merlin entered.

“I’ve brought your dinner, sire.” Merlin kept his eyes downcast, not looking at him. His eyes looked slightly puffy and Arthur felt his stomach churn thinking maybe his idiot manservant had been crying. He set the tray on the table and stood back, hands behind his back and Arthur couldn’t help but flicker his gaze to the other’s abdomen. “Will that be all for tonight?” He asked.

Arthur looked up at him but Merlin was avoiding eye contact. “Yes, thank you.” Merlin went to leave and once more Arthur stopped him. “Merlin, have you eaten?” He asked.

“Yes, sire.” It was a lie if ever he heard one and Merlin had been true about one thing, he couldn’t lie very well.

“Very well, have a good night.” He said.

“You too, sire.” Merlin said and left. Arthur watched him go and stared at his food. He sighed and started to eat. He tried not to think of Gwen. How could she ever forgive this? Yes, they’d both accepted they couldn’t be together but now? What excuse could he give her when Merlin himself was carrying his own child?

He barely ate. He barely slept. The only two things he could see when he blinked was Merlin’s guarded expression and Gwen’s beautiful smile.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin sighed as he sat on a little stool that Gwaine had got for him. The knights were really smothering him.

“Have a drink, Merlin, you must be parched.” Percival said encouraging Merlin to drink from the water skin.

“Have a sweet bread-roll. Sneaked it from the kitchens.” Leon said handing Merlin the treat. Merlin only took it because he never got to eat sweet things otherwise.

“Honestly, can you four get back to training? People are going to think you’re flirting with me.” Merlin said with his mouth half-full of the sweet treat. Two weeks in and the knights were all over him. It drove Merlin crazy. At this pace the whole kingdom was going to figure out Merlin’s secret.

Merlin watched them go back to training and chuckled as Arthur told them off and trained them twice as hard. Arthur turned to look at him for a few seconds and something in his gaze made his heart stop. He could only see it because he’d known Arthur for so long. The sadness in his eyes as he looked at him. A sad acceptance. Merlin wished he could ask what was wrong with him but he and Arthur had barely shared a couple of sentences of actual conversation in the last couple of weeks.

Arthur returned to training and Merlin looked down, wondering what the prince was thinking.

After his bath, Arthur confessed what was bothering him. “I’m going to tell Guinevere tonight.” He said. Merlin almost dropped the clean clothes he was organising in Arthur’s closet. He turned to look at him and caught a glimpse of that sad look once more in the prince’s eyes.

“What do you want me to do?” Merlin asked softly, looking down.

“Bring us dinner. I’ll tell her then.” He said softly. Merlin looked up at him.

“Maybe things will work out, despite everything.” Merlin said softly.

“Don’t.” Arthur said raising his hand to stop him talking. Merlin felt a painful knot at the back of his throat and turned back to his work. He heard Arthur return to his work desk.

Merlin turned to say something else but stopped. The painful knot at the back of his throat proved to be something other than sadness and he found himself running to one of the buckets he’d used to bring Arthur’s bathwater up. He heard things clattering behind him but didn’t stop to see what he’d dropped.

“Can you be anymore of an idiot?” He heard Arthur call after him. Merlin simply dropped to his knees and hurled violently into the bucket. Merlin trembled as he emptied his stomach and closed his eyes, wondering if the feeling was gone. “Are you alright?” He heard Arthur’s voice much closer now. Merlin nodded but seconds later he hurled violently into the bucket again. He felt Arthur’s fingers caress the sides of his face as he moved to grab his hair back, away from his face. Merlin tried to reassure him that he was fine, but his body seemed to be solely focused on the task at hand and he hurled once more, his arms trembling as they held onto the sides of the bucket.

That seemed to be the last of it and he sat back, leaning against Arthur’s bath, looking up tired.

“What happened? Have you been poisoned?” Arthur asked worried. “We must get you to Gaius.

“It’s fine… Gaius mentioned this might happen.” Merlin said. “It’s to do with the child.”

“ _This_ is normal?” Arthur asked horrified. Merlin shrugged.

“That’s what he said.” Merlin said and stood. “Let me take this away, sire.”

“Stop it, you should sit down, Merlin.” Arthur said and Merlin shook his head.

“I’m fine now, really, Arthur.” Merlin said. Arthur didn’t try to stop him this time and he grumbled the spell to get rid of the mess, going to his room and dropping into bed, his head spinning. He didn’t get up until he had to get the dinner for Arthur and Gwen.

oOoOoOo

Arthur opened the door. Gwen stood there, lit by candlelight she was as stunning as always and his heart gave a skip at her tender smile.

“Come in, Gwen.” He said gently. “I was hoping you’d join me for dinner.”

Gwen looked at the meal a little surprised and then smiled sadly up at Arthur, hesitant to accept.

“Are you sure? It would not be… proper of my station to dine with you.” She reminded him. It was the same game they played when they could no longer bear to pretend to be only prince and servant. That they didn’t want more. It was a game Arthur could play no more.

“Please.” Was all Arthur said as he held her hand gently. She slowly began to frown as she reached up to cup his face.

“Arthur, what’s wrong?” She asked softly. Arthur gently removed her hands and kissed them instead.

“Join me for dinner, Guinevere.” He said once more. She didn’t ask again and finally nodded.

oOoOoOo

Merlin sat miserable in Morgana’s chambers while she brushed his hair humming a tune.

“Morgana, have you really forgiven Uther?” Merlin asked softly looking at her in the reflection. She looked at him and sighed as she kept her eyes on his hair.

“It’s hard to explain, Merlin. Do you have a father?” She asked. Merlin looked away.

“He’s dead.” He said, not wanting to point out that it was Cenred’s men that had killed his father. Back then Morgause had been his closest ally.

“I’m sorry.” Morgana said softly, brushing another strand of hair. Merlin looked down. She already knew his magic, what could possibly happen if he told her all? Trust her, like he should have done all the way back when Modred first appeared and Merlin learned of Morgana’s abilities. “His name was Balinor.” Merlin said softly.

The brush clattered on the ground as Morgana looked up at him with wide eyes. “The last dragon lord.” She whispered. Merlin looked down, trying not to think about his father. “Merlin, I’m sorry.” She said softly.

“I’m sorry too. Although she had it coming… I know Morgause must have been very important to you.” Merlin said softly. She bent down to pick up the brush and continued brushing his hair, smiling faintly.

“She was. I know you have a mother, but I can imagine you understand what it’s like finding out you have more family.” She said softly. Merlin nodded and looked down.

“Arthur is telling Gwen the truth tonight.” Merlin said softly.

“It’s for the best.” Morgana said.

“How can it be for the best when he loves her? She loves him too! Can’t you see how wrong this is?” He asked her and she sighed.

“It’s not easy but… to be honest I’m just grateful. If you didn’t take that child in, I would have been the only other host so… better you than me.” She said brightly and Merlin huffed. She squeezed his shoulders. “But more importantly, better you than an enemy of Camelot.” She said and sat on the stool beside him, passing him the brush. Merlin turned the chair to face her and began to brush her hair in return.

When he left her chambers he went to Arthur’s rooms instead of his own. He passed Gwen on the way there. She had tears running down her face. Her expression went to horrified as she looked at him and then at his stomach.

“Gwen… I’m so-” Gwen slapped him hard on the face.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare, Merlin.” She whispered and kept going. Merlin stayed a few seconds holding his now hot cheek and placed his other hand over his abdomen, trying to push back the tears. He had no right to cry.

He looked up ahead and continued his way to Arthur’s chambers. Arthur sat, drinking wine from his goblet as he stared at the fireplace. He slowly looked up to meet eyes with Merlin. A flicker of hope died in Arthur’s eyes and Merlin realised Arthur had been expecting Gwen to return.

Merlin said nothing to Arthur and left the room. He rushed down the corridors and stood by the first large window he found, taking in the cold autumn air, trying to shake the memory of a broken Arthur from his mind.

This was not what Arthur needed. Arthur needed to be whole, happy, strong.

“You see what a mess you’ve made already?” Merlin flinched at Uther’s voice but didn’t turn to him. Uther instead came to stand beside him. “I may have found a solution for this problem, if you’ll hear my proposition.” Uther said.

Merlin looked up at him. “What is it?” he asked softly.

“I will continue to turn a blind eye to Athur’s little _whim_.” Meaning Gwen. “I will allow him to take the child as _his_ ward and I will allow you to continue in his service after this whole mess is resolved.” Uther said tentatively and Merlin stepped back a little.

“But?” He asked.

“I’ll tell you the rest of my plan tomorrow. After the feast, meet me where the winter grain is stored. If you care about Arthur’s future, you’ll come.” Uther said and Merlin watched him go. He looked down. If there was at least a chance, he would at the very least hear Uther out.

oOoOoOo

Merlin brought over Arthur’s red jacket with studs. “This was the one you wanted?” He asked.

Arthur barely glanced at him and nodded. “That one will do.” He said. Merlin took it off its hanger and helped Arthur to put it on.

“Not exactly the best day to have a party, huh?” Merlin tried to joke but Arthur didn’t humour him. Merlin looked down. “Don’t worry Arthur… you and Gwen will be together again.” He said softly.

“Shut up, Merlin! What do you know! What could you possibly know?” Arthur yelled and Merlin glared at him back.

“I may not know what will be but I know what _should_ be! You should be with the woman you love!” Merlin yelled.

“She deserves better than this mess!” Arthur yelled and Merlin looked away.

“You’ll be late for the banquet, sire.” Merlin said softly. Arthur stormed out and Merlin took a deep breath, following the prince to the banquet. Merlin stood just behind him, tending to his goblet, trying not to look at Gwen who kept her head down as she tended to Morgana, though Morgana wouldn’t let anyone serve her, filling her own goblet.

As the evening almost drew to a close, Arthur was no closer to looking any more cheerful. Merlin glanced at Uther who met his eyes and gave him a faint nod. Merlin took that as his queue to leave. He didn’t ask for Arthur’s permission. He sneaked away, out of the room and away from the celebrations.

The grain stores were dark with shadows as Merlin entered, only one torch in the corner to light up the whole room. Most of what wasn’t in the main storage was stored away in sacks that were stacked up against the wall. Merlin sat down against one of the sacks and waited for Uther.

The door finally opened after a while and Merlin turned to the king. Only it wasn’t the king. It was two burly men, one with the start of a beard and the other clean-shaven with a large scar over his eye. Merlin narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

“Who are you? These are the royal stores.” Merlin said. The one with the beard looked at Merlin and gave him a smirk.

“I have a letter for you.” He said. Merlin frowned.

“For me?” Merlin said softly.

“From the king.” Merlin’s eyes widened and he came closer, taking the letter and opening it, scanning the message.

_‘If you wish to remedy this problem, you will allow these men to defile you. Witnesses will see you and then we will say that the child is not Arthur’s. It will be the only way I’ll give in to the conditions I promised. If you truly care about Arthur, you will accept.’_

It wasn’t signed, but the writing was clearly Uther’s. Merlin looked at the men shocked. They seemed to be fully aware of what was expected.

“Now, when the king paid us to fuck a maid, we never thought she’d be such a pretty thing.” The one with the scar said and Merlin flinched, stepping back. He couldn’t do this! He looked at the letter and flinched as the back of his knees bumped against the sacks of grain. There had to be another way. But then again, this would be the only option that would allow Gwen and Arthur to continue being together without Uther’s interference. It would mean Arthur’s happiness. 

The bearded one grabbed a strand of Merlin’s hair and took a deep breath. “Mmmh, delicious.”

  
“Haha, she’s shaking.” Scar laughed and grabbed Merlin’s wrists, tossing him back, leaning him on the sacks of grain. Merlin’s mind went blank. He’d never had this kind of attention from anyone. His body didn’t know how to react. He closed his eyes. This was for Arthur’s happiness. He felt one of them start tugging his skirts up, feeling up his legs and panic struck Merlin. He was scared.

“No! Stop it!” Merlin exclaimed. When he began to struggle, all hell began.

oOoOoOo

Morgana looked like she was getting tired. If Arthur was to take a guess she was going to get up and go to bed any minute now. Instead, she almost gave Arthur a heart attack as she jumped, dropping her goblet, as if something had startled her. Her eyes widened with horror and she looked over his shoulder.

Arthur followed her gaze. “What is it? What’s gotten into you?” He asked.

“Where’s Merlin?” Her voice was laced with raw panic and Arthur found himself worried as she stood up. He followed.

“You know how Merlin is, he sometimes just wonders.” He said. But something in the look of her eye made Arthur think the worst.

“Merlin left some time ago.” Gwen told Arthur.

“We have to go find him.” Morgana said. “He’s hurt.”

“Might I suggest the grain stores?” Uther suggested and all three of them turned to Uther. Arthur felt his breath catch in his throat.

“Father, what did you do?” Morgana whispered.

“Only what was necessary. I promised your manservant a few things in exchange for his cooperation. He was very keen to ensure your happiness. You should be very grateful to have such a loyal servant.” Uther said. Arthur turned and ran. Morgana and Gwen followed closely. 

“Idiot.” He hissed. “Be safe, Merlin.” He whispered to himself.


	7. Chapter 7

Elyan was making his way back with Percival when they heard it. A woman’s scream for help.

“Arthur!” The voice screamed. He took out his sword and looked at Percival whose eyes were wide, as if he recognised the voice.

“Merlin!” Percival cried out and ran to the storage room. Elyan froze as he saw two men, their trousers down as they battered the form beneath them into submission.

Percival reacted instantly, rage in his battle cry as he ran the man on top of Merlin through, tossing him off the young servant. Elyan took charge of the other man. The ruffian stood no chance against a trained knight and soon joined his friend among the dead.

Elyan caught sight of the discarded letter and read it. He tried to contain the disgust at the written words.

“Merlin!” He heard the prince shout and turned to see Arthur storm into the room. Arthur took a few seconds to take in the scene before running to Merlin.

Elyan offered him the letter.

“Sire, you should read this.” He said and glanced at Gwen who was staring at the scene in shock.

oOoOoOo

Arthur had never felt the rage of the sun burn so strongly in his stomach. Even when Uther sentenced Gwen to burn at the pyre, because who could possibly believe Arthur would love a servant girl, he didn’t feel this rage. Probably because part of him knew it wouldn’t come to be.

This was different. Here, Merlin had gotten hurt. When did Percival and Elyan arrive? Did they get here in time? Percival had helped Merlin to stand and Merlin kept shaking, eyes wide looking frozen in shock.

“Merlin, what on earth is this? What did you do?” Arthur yelled at him as he approached. Merlin turned to him, holding his dress together as the ruffians practically sliced the dress to get to Merlin’s skin. He had a cut lip and his face was red from what looked like repeated slaps. Finger-like bruises were forming on his upper arms and there were painful looking bites against his neck and shoulder that had broken skin.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin mumbled, looking down. The door opened and some other servants came in. Arthur and Percival both stood in front of Merlin, covering him from their sights.

“Your highness, my Lords… we were told to pass by the grain stores and investigate if we heard any noise.” The maid said.

“Who said this?” Percival asked.

“The king, my Lord.” The maid said and Arthur clenched his jaw.

“Go now, there’s nothing to see here. Just a couple of thieves which we apprehended.” Elyan said and the maids nodded and walked out. Arthur turned back to Merlin.

“What did my father promise you?” He asked.

Merlin looked away. “He promised… to turn a blind eye to you and Gwen, to let you take the child as your ward and let me stay in your service.” He whispered.

“How could you agree to something so disgusting?” Arthur yelled.

“Arthur!” Percival and Elyan exclaimed.

“You never should have agreed to something like this, Merlin!” Morgana snapped.

“I just wanted Arthur to be happy! Uther said he’d allow all those things if I came to meet him here… but I didn’t know what he had planned.” Merlin looked down.

“Don’t you _ever_ try to act behind my back again.” Arthur said and came closer, looking at the visible injuries with rage. “I’m not leaving you out of my sight again.” He said.

Percival unclasped his cape and put it over Merlin’s shoulders, covering the torn dress. Arthur led Merlin back inside.

“Morgana, call Gaius to my chambers.” Arthur said and passed by Gwen, unable to meet her gaze as he pulled Merlin along, somehow feeling like this was his fault.

oOoOoOo

Gaius was thorough with his questions and Merlin, embarrassed, was able to answer truthfully. The two men had only managed to rough him up before Elyan and Percival saved him. Thankfully, nothing more had happened.

Merlin didn’t look at either of them as Gaius dabbed the healing ointment, enhanced by Morgana, onto the bite wounds. They slowly began to heal, leaving no scar, but a nasty bruise remained in their place.

He could feel Arthur’s stare burning into the marks but refused to look up and meet his gaze.

“The bruises should fade on their own within a week or two. Normal healing for those.” Gaius said strictly. “Merlin, what on earth were you thinking?” He asked.

“I was trying to do what was right!” Merlin said.

“Do you have any idea what they would have done to you?” Arthur hissed and Merlin looked up, meeting the other’s fury and finally shook his head. Because he didn’t, not really. He could imagine, but he didn’t really know.

“Uther caught me by surprise but I thought maybe… maybe if I let them, that it would solve everything… but I got scared! They started hitting me and I couldn’t even use my magic because then Uther would know!” Merlin exclaimed.

“I don’t need you sacrificing yourself for me!” Arthur said. Merlin didn’t say anything. “Gaius, Morgana, please leave us.” He said. Gaius nodded and stood looking at both of them, placing his hand on Merlin’s shoulder.

“Rest, Merlin.” Gaius said and made to leave.

“No, wait, I’m staying here?” Merlin called after them and Morgana turned looking at both Gaius and Arthur.

“Oh, yes, physician’s orders.” Gaius said with that voice he always used when he was lying to Uther about magic. Merlin narrowed his eyes at him, not believing his words. Morgana smiled and winked at Merlin before leaving.

“ _Get well, Merlin._ ” She said.

“ _Thank you, Morgana._ ” He said softly. He looked down at his hands once he was alone with Arthur.

Arthur seemed to be going over his words again and again in his head until finally he settled for the first thing that came to mind. “Have you no pride as a man?” He asked harshly.

Merlin looked up at him. “I froze.” He blurted out.

“You _what?_ ”

“I just froze! I lost my voice, I couldn’t say anything and when I finally snapped out of it, they overpowered me.” He shouted at him. Arthur narrowed his eyes at him and came round, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Tell me right now, that you never considered simply going along with it. Tell me to my face that you didn’t, for a _second_ , thought this would be best.” Arthur demanded. Merlin looked away and took a deep breath.

“I can’t.” Arthur nodded as he kept looking at him. Merlin kept looking away and finally, Arthur reached to turn Merlin so their eyes could meet.

“Why would you do that for me?” Arthur asked.

“You are going to be the greatest king that ever was.” Merlin said.

“Again with that stupid destiny.” Arthur said. Merlin shook his head.

“It’s more than that.” Merlin said. “You are honourable and have a good heart. I have the utmost faith in you, Arthur. I am proud to have been born to protect you.”

“How can you be so sure?” Arthur asked.

“Well, you-”

“Not about me, Merlin.” Merlin frowned at Arthur’s words. “Your dragon’s prophecy never mentioned protection. Neither did it say you were expendable.” Arthur said, his tone turning stern once more. “In fact, it said that without you there would be no Albion, so, forgive me if I start to think that you’re pretty important too.”

“Careful, Arthur. That sounds too close to a compliment.” Merlin teased and Arthur chuckled softly before looking up at him.

“What my father offered? I don’t want it.” He said simply. “The child will be my heir. That will be the end of it.” Merlin looked up at him unsure of what to say. “Sleep now, we’ll talk in the morning.” Arthur said and handed him some warm milk with honey.

“But Arthur,” Arthur shook his head and Merlin sighed, taking a sip of the drink. It was pleasant and sweet and… was the room spinning? Merlin looked at Arthur accusingly but he couldn’t get any words out. His eyelids felt heavier and heavier until soon he was in the land of dreams.

oOoOoOo

Arthur took the goblet back from Merlin’s hands and made sure the other was lying comfortably. “Sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.” Arthur said and grabbed his sword. He headed straight for his father’s rooms.

As he opened the door, he saw Gwaine and Lancelot standing there, fury in their eyes.

“How is Merlin?” Lancelot asked. Gwaine was less polite.

“I’m telling you now, at the round table I vowed allegiance to _you_! What that man tried to do to Merlin? I’ll run him through myself.” Gwaine hissed and turned to leave. Arthur reached up and grabbed onto his shoulder.

“I am on my way to speak to him right now. You’re welcome to accompany me.” He said at them.

“I’ll go.” Lancelot said. “You stay and watch over him Gwaine. Last thing Merlin would want is to know you got yourself executed overnight.”

Gwaine looked like he wanted to argue but finally nodded. He turned to Arthur. “Let me tell you this. Merlin is the most honourable, loyal and fearless man I have ever met. He never seeks recognition for the countless times he’s saved you and Camelot. He is a greater man than your father could ever hope to be.” He turned and went into Arthur’s room, not before turning back to Arthur. “Uther is a coward with no honour.” And slammed the door shut.

Arthur clenched his jaw and looked at Lancelot, nodding as they continued on their path to the king’s quarters. The guards at the door stepped aside for the prince. Lancelot stayed just by the doors after they’d closed them behind.

His father sat at his desk, working by candlelight. “Arthur, I’m glad you’re here. I’d like you to read the declaration you’ll make when you claim the child as your ward.” Uther said, standing as Arthur approached.

Arthur punched Uther so hard across the face that his father toppled back onto his chair, cradling his cut lip.

“Have you lost your mind?” He hissed, spitting out blood to his left and glaring at Arthur.

“If you _ever_ try to hurt Merlin like that again, I won’t hesitate to kill you.” Arthur hissed.

“Are you telling me this boy means more to you than the stability of this kingdom? Him and that bastard?” Uther yelled.

“Merlin has saved my life countless times. He is an honourable and brave and a proven friend.” Arthur hissed. “And that child is blood of my blood! Blood of _your_ blood! If Merlin had lost it believe me that my retaliation would not have been short or painless.” Arthur hissed.

“You are threatening your _king_!” Uther yelled.

“And you have threatened my blood!” Arthur yelled, slamming his fist on the table looking at him with disgust. “I idolised you. All I ever wanted was to make you proud! You’ve turned out to be nothing more than a gigantic disappointment!”

Hurt flickered in Uther’s cold eyes for the briefest of seconds. “I will have you arrested.” Uther hissed.

“I don’t want you to even look in Merlin’s direction ever again. I don’t want you alone with him ever again. If I hear that you’ve been whispering ideas into his stupid, gullible head I will challenge you to the death. Is that understood, _Uther_?” he hissed.

Uther sat down and looked down at the proposal. “I give you my word.” He stared at Arthur and placed the corner of the page to the candle, letting it burn to ash. Arthur never broke eye-contact with his father until the whole thing was consumed by fire. Only then did he turn around to storm back to his room without looking back.

oOoOoOo

Gwaine sat by the bed as he stared at Merlin’s sleeping face.

“You’re both the bravest and stupidest man I’ve ever met, Merlin.” Gwaine said and reached to hold his friend’s hand. “You ever do something like this again, I’ll tie you down myself. Then we’ll make sure we can keep an eye on you at all times, my friend.” He said. Merlin simply breathed deeply in his dream state.

When Arthur returned, Gwaine turned to look at him and placed Merlin’s hand back down, standing to greet his prince.

“Thank you for guarding him, sir Gwaine.” Arthur said. Gwaine clenched his jaw and nodded.

“I would lay down my life for him and the unborn prince, my lord.” He said simply.

“Thank you.” Arthur said and Gwaine walked out with Lancelot who filled him in on what happened. Gwaine would be lying if he said he didn’t go to sleep with the widest grin of his life.

oOoOoOo

Elyan looked up at his sister as she made him some tea. “How are you faring with this?” He asked her.

Gwen took a deep breath. “I’ll manage.” She said softly.

“Aren’t you angry?” He asked.

“I am… but I can’t continue to be angry. Specially not at Merlin, it’s not fair.” She said pouring the brew. She sighed as she sat down. “There’s nothing I can do. I can’t compete against a child. Not with Arthur.” She smiled warmly. “He’s far too noble for that.” She said gently.

“You both love each other still.” He said, holding her hand.

“Yes.” She whispered, taking a deep breath to avoid crying. “But this time… it truly can never be.” She said softly and covered her mouth with her hand, whimpering as the tears came forth.

Elyan came round and pulled his sister into a hug as she clung to him and cried her broken heart out.

oOoOoOo

Merlin groaned as he woke up to see Arthur’s sleeping face beside him. He frowned as he looked up at the ceiling, then at the goblet beside his nightstand. He turned to Arthur, grabbed his pillow and whacked him hard across the face with it.

“Ah!” Arthur jumped up, sitting as he looked around for the enemy. “Merlin!” Arthur snapped, realising it was Merlin who hit him.

“You drugged me!” Merlin exclaimed.

“I gave you a calming tonic to help you sleep better!” Arthur yelled. “Honestly, striking the crown prince is a sure way to land yourself in prison!” Merlin opened his mouth to argue, when the door opened and a servant walked in.

“ _George_?” Merlin asked horrified. Oh god, what was _he_ doing back?

“God morning my Lord, my Lady. I have brought you breakfast.” He said passionately.

“Yes, I can see that.” Merlin said and turned to Arthur. “Arthur, why is George doing my job?” He asked.

Arthur sat up and began putting his shirt on. “Well, I’ve cut back on your chores. George is here to take over until further notice.” He said. Merlin watched the back of Arthur’s shirt get caught halfway down his back and came to pull it down the rest of the way. He grabbed the other’s shoulders and leaned forward to get eye contact.

“What on earth am I supposed to do then?” Merlin asked softly.

“Well, right now, you are to share breakfast with me.” Arthur said.

Merlin watched Arthur stand as he sat back on the bed, feeling entirely out of place. Arthur turned to look at him and Merlin saw the other’s eyes flicker to the bruises on his arms. Merlin looked at them and looked away, realising how obvious they were.

Arthur sat down beside him and seemed to think his words. “Merlin, do you want to keep wearing dresses? You can continue wearing your normal clothes if you’d prefer.” Arthur said.

“What’s the point, in a few months I won’t fit into any of them.” Merlin said.

“Well then… how about your hair? We can cut it if you want.” Arthur said. Merlin finally smiled at him.

“You’re trying to make me feel better.” Merlin said.

“And you’re making it difficult.” Arthur insisted. Merlin chuckled. After a few seconds he shoved Arthur with his shoulder and Arthur shoved him back. They both laughed softly. “So should I get the knife?”

“No… Morgana would never forgive me. She likes looking after my hair.” Merlin said and sighed, slouching forward, his stomach rumbling.

“Come on then, breakfast.” Arthur said patting him on the shoulder and going over to the table. Merlin stood in the white sleeping gown Morgana had lent him and made his way over to the table. George made absolutely no facial expression to him as he proudly pulled out his chair as if he were another lady in court.

“Thanks…” Merlin said finding him still a little strange.

“You are _most_ welcome, my Lady.”

“I’m not a lady.” Merlin quickly corrected him.

“Apologies, my Lord.” Merlin turned to argue but Arthur simply filled his plate.

“Eat, Merlin.” Arthur said. Merlin narrowed his eyes at Arthur before starting on breakfast.

After that, George revealed that he had already chosen what clothes Merlin should wear and after choosing blue, instead of the red George chose, he dressed himself. He was exhausted by the time they left Arthur’s rooms while Arthur just looked wildly amused. 

“What’s so funny?” Merlin snapped.

“You. Now you know what you put me through when you spent those two whole days in the tavern.” Arthur said.

“Actually, Morgana had placed a parasite on me when I was kidnapped. I spent the whole time trying to kill you.” Merlin said patting his shoulder firmly and walking ahead while Arthur stared at him, frozen in place.


	8. Chapter 8

As soon as Merlin arrived at the training camp he was grabbed by Gwaine who pulled him up against his breastplate, yet again, and pet his hair.

“Merlin, I swear I would kill those fools all over again if I could.” Gwaine vowed and Merlin grumbled until Lancelot came to the rescue, pulling Gwaine back.

“Let him breathe, sir Gwaine.” He said and turned to Merlin. “Are you alright, my friend?”

“I’m fine, you guys don’t have to worry about me.” Merlin said.

“We’re _always_ worrying about you.” Gwaine said firmly and Arthur shoved his head to the side before he could pull Merlin into another hug.

“Start training.” He ordered. “Merlin, I want you to sit there and wait for any orders.” Arthur said.

“George is here, why not just let me go do some errands for Gaius?” He said.

“I _told_ you, I’m not leaving you out of my sight.” Arthur told him firmly and walked off to the other knights.

“Great.” Merlin said sarcastically as he sat down and watched bored as George began to passionately do a second polish to the training weapons and sharpen them in between switching weapons with Arthur.

Merlin rearranged himself in the chair multiple times, bored to death just sitting there.

“ _Morgana, Arthur just has me sitting here doing nothing._ ” Merlin said.

“ _Welcome to a woman’s world._ ” Came the sarcastic reply. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“ _Can’t you save me from this boredom?_ ” He asked.

“ _I could bring you a book. Or some embroidery materials. Maybe a hairbrush?_ ” She teased.

“ _What would I do without you_?” He replied sarcastically. Merlin felt a strange sensation tickling his nose and closed his eyes as he felt nausea coming and going.

“Are you alright, my Lord?” George asked suddenly and Merlin stood, walking away as quickly as possible. That only made the nausea worse. He didn’t get far.

Arthur caught his wrist gently, enough to stop him. “Merlin?” Merlin leaned forward and hurled violently onto the grass.

“Well… there goes breakfast…” Merlin mumbled. Arthur simply reached to hold his hair out of place as he hurled once more.

“Are you sure this is normal?” Arthur asked.

“I’m sure, Gaius says it should pass when I’m three moons along.” Merlin said. He stayed as he was for a few minutes, making sure he wasn’t going to be sick again before he stood up straight.

George was there instantly to hand him a cloth to clean his mouth and water to rinse his mouth out. It tasted like lemon.

“What is this?” Merlin asked.

“A stomach soothing water, my Lord. Perfect for your condition.” George said and Merlin narrowed his eyes as he turned to Arthur.

“How does he know?”

“I told him.” Arthur said simply.

Merlin glared at him. “I am getting my job back when this child is born. I don’t care how brilliant George is.” He warned him and wobbled slightly as he made his way back to the chair and continued to drink the lemon water.

“Are you alright, Merlin?” Lancelot asked, coming to switch weapons round.

“Fine.” Merlin said sipping the drink.

“You’re looking a bit pale.” Percival said, worried, as he too came to switch weapons. Merlin narrowed his eyes at them as Elyan followed and then Leon.

“Could you all stop mothering me?” He snapped. “You don’t even need to switch weapons yet!”

“Ooh, watch those pregnant lady moods.” Gwaine said passing by. Merlin threw the goblet at him, which Gwaine dodged. “Oho! It truly _is_ a Pendragon prince!” All five knights laughed and returned to training.

Merlin glanced at George and leaned over the other side of the chair, covering his mouth as he whispered a spell. All five knights seemed to trip over the same tree branch, that they didn’t notice before, and fell forward onto the mud.

“Careful there!” Merlin called, trying to cover the grin as the knights turned to him knowingly, shaking their heads and chuckling as they kept walking.

Merlin huffed as he sat there and prepared himself for some more hours of boredom. But with the coming and going of dizzy spells he was actually glad for the reprieve in chores. George kept him well hydrated with the lemon water and some fresh fruit for strength, which he managed to keep down, but the servant was a tad bit intense.

Despite George’s distractions he did notice the knights continuing to glance at him, checking he was all right. Arthur didn’t turn as frequently, but when he did it was always with a pensive expression, as if he was trying to identify whether Merlin was faking feeling better or not.

As the training finished, George rushed off to prepare Arthur’s bath, while Merlin simply stared at the golden prat, approaching looking smug that the other knights hadn’t bested him today.

“Right, training’s over.” Arthur said.

Merlin stood and caught the slight shift that Arthur did towards him. As if ready to catch him if he were to fall. “Yes, well, George has run off to prepare your bath as we speak. I told him you prefer cold water.” Merlin said. Arthur paused and turned to him.

“Merlin, it’s autumn. Why would you do that?” He asked.

“So you don’t have to wait hours for enough water to heat up?” Merlin said as they walked back inside.

“Huh… clever.”

“Yes, you’ll find I’m actually quite smart.” Merlin said.

“Well, let’s not go that far.” Arthur said and Merlin narrowed his eyes at him.

“Smarter than you, that’s for sure, but then, it doesn’t take much for that.” Merlin said and Arthur scoffed, looking at him amused, that soft look in his eyes again and Merlin had to look over his shoulder to look for Gwen but she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. “Well, come on your royal pratness, before your bathwater evaporates from waiting for us.” Merlin said and walked on ahead.

Merlin caught movement from above and looked up to see Uther walking past with Leon. Merlin froze when Uther turned to look at him, but rather than the expected glare, Uther quickly looked away and hurried along his intended route. Merlin didn’t miss the massive purple bruise to the other’s left jaw and cut lip.

Arthur placed his arm around Merlin’s shoulders and gave it a light squeeze. He turned to see that Arthur too was watching Uther walk out of sight, a determined glare in his eyes. “Come on.” Arthur said.

oOoOoOo

Merlin breathed a sigh of relief as he sneaked into Morgana’s room, shutting the door behind him.

“Did you miss me?” Morgana teased from her desk, where she was looking at a book and scribbling things down.

“Oh no, I had great fun sitting there doing nothing, getting pampered by George and constantly watched by the knights.” Merlin said, peeking out of the window, making sure no one spotted him. “Only managed to sneak away now, while Arthur has his bath.” He said. He finally turned to Morgana. “I wanted to check on you.” He said. Morgana narrowed her eyes slightly looking up. “Are you alright?” He asked.

“I should be asking that question. Are you asking if _I’m_ alright that my own father would pay to have you defiled? No consideration whatsoever towards a lowly servant. I’m scared to think what he’d do if he even suspected you had magic.” Morgana spat hatefully, looking to the side. “It’s easy to forget why I left… and then he does something like that and reminds me of everything I hate about him.” She tossed down her quill and sat back on the chair, arms crossed as she shook her head.

“I think Arthur already gave him a piece of his mind.” Merlin said.

“Oh, yes, quite a colourful one. Sir Gwaine won’t shut up about it.” Morgana smirked and Merlin tried not to laugh. He did feel great satisfaction knowing that Arthur would do something like that for him. “I’m still furious.” She said. “You know as well as I do that Uther won’t stop treating this as a problem that needs solving. Not as long as there’s hope of remedying the issue. We have to be careful.”

Merlin looked down, reaching a hand to his stomach, feeling the warm magic of life underneath his fingers. “I know.”

oOoOoOo

A week later, Merlin groaned as he woke up, curling into himself.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked and Merlin turned, surprised to see him dressed and out of bed and apparently half-way done with breakfast.

“What time is it?” Merlin asked.

“Don’t worry, you’re not late getting up. Apparently the actual entourage of Angevin arrived last night. Father wants me to attend the discussion and the alliance that the king proposes.” Arthur said.

Merlin sat up and yawned, flopping back onto the pillows. “The king of Angevin. Did Angevin even have a princess?” Merlin asked.

“Not a single one.” Arthur said and Merlin stood up to come and sit with him, picking things from the unnecessarily large banquet that George brought in that morning. “And you better not say ‘I told you so.’” Arthur said suddenly, stopping the words from leaving Merlin’s parted lips.

Instead, Merlin continued eating and whined as he adjusted the irritating nightgown.

“What’s the matter with you? You’re acting like you have flees.” Arthur said, taking a long drink. Merlin continued to fidget.

“My breasts are sore.”

Arthur turned his head to the side in time as he spat the tea out, coughing loudly. Merlin stood up and patted his back firmly. Arthur reached up his hand to tell him he was fine but ended up sweeping his knuckles over Merlin’s chest.

“Hnn…” The whimper left Merlin’s lips. He flinched, guarding his chest and turning away from him.

“I am so sorry!” Arthur said.

“As you should be! You prat! Ugh… this morning they feel so heavy and tender.” Merlin whined.

“There’s no need to go into women’s details, Merlin!” Arthur said looking very uncomfortable.

“What? Why? It’s your child that’s doing this to my body! One would think you’d take some interest in the mother!” Merlin said, sitting back down and continuing with breakfast, still fidgeting every once in a while.

“Just… finish your breakfast and get dressed.” Arthur said. Merlin didn’t eat much, but he made sure he was full by the time he got dressed. At the same time, George helped Arthur with his jacket and Merlin glared. That was _his_ job. “Ready?” Arthur asked and Merlin nodded. Arthur walked ahead in red and Merlin followed in blue. Merlin noticed that this dress was made of nicer fabric than the other servant dresses. He noticed they mostly began to fill up his side of the wardrobe after Arthur hired George.

Merlin entered after Arthur, bumping into another noble. “Sorry.” He said turned to look back at the noble, fully expecting them to completely ignore the servant and either walk off without acknowledging him or demand he be put to the stocks for daring to touch them.

“No, please, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” The voice had a thick accent and Merlin realised he’d never seen this lord before. He was dressed in a heavily stylised cloak, embroidered with intricate patterns and the colour of green. The noble was handsome, young, maybe only half a decade older than Arthur, with vibrant green eyes and straight blond hair tied at the nape of his neck.

“You must be from Angevin, welcome to Camelot.” Merlin said.

The noble kept looking at Merlin’s eyes, which Merlin found very strange. Normally nobles never made eye contact with a servant. He had a warm and slightly contagious smile.

“My lord?” Merlin asked confused. The visiting noble took his hand and brought down his face to his knuckles, giving it a light brush of his lips and from there turning an intense look up at Merlin that sent a hot flush run up to Merlin’s face.

“You may call me Bastian if you please, my Lady.”

Merlin looked back to see the Gwaine and Lancelot looking at him with interest, while Arthur was already storming over.

“Apologies, your majesty, it looks like my manservant has forgotten how to speak.” Arthur said reaching for Merlin’s wrist, pulling it out of Bastian’s hand and wrapping an arm around Merlin’s shoulders, leading him towards Percival who led Merlin the rest of the way into the room. Merlin looked back at the king, amused and a little flattered.

oOoOoOo

Arthur saw Merlin glance back and _smile_ at the king. What on earth was he thinking?

“Manservant?” King Bastian of Angevin asked and Arthur turned to him.

“Uh… yes, your majesty. My manservant was cursed a few weeks ago from man to woman. We’re working on a cure. I apologise for the confusion.” He said.

“Oh, don’t apologise. Gender happens to mean little to me. What did you say his name was?” King Bastian asked and Arthur felt his mouth go dry blinking at him, unable to believe that he’d heard correctly.

“Merlin.” He said looking back at Merlin who was talking to Gwaine and Morgana, who looked over at Arthur with wild amusement in their eyes.

“Beautiful.” Bastian whispered and walked on ahead to greet his father. Arthur just stared after him, an uncomfortable feeling churning in his gut.

oOoOoOo

“King Uther, whispers from the East talks of the Saxons amassing an army in preparation for a conquest.”

“Our forces are not to be taken lightly. We _will_ defeat the Saxons if they attempt an attack.”

“Angevin is not ready to take such a risk. We offer an alliance. Angevin will put forth their grand army and navy to fight alongside Camelot and at worst prevent any expansion south, at best we finally extinguish our northern threat.” King Bastian offered, speaking tall and proud and Merlin had to admit he was very handsome when he spoke so passionately. It reminded Merlin of Arthur at the round table.

“We will consider the proposal. In the meantime, my son Arthur will gladly show you around.” Uther said.

“Only if Merlin can come along.” Bastian said and Merlin felt his face heat up as Bastian turned and sent him a wink. He looked away, trying to force his smile off of his face. Arthur simply glanced and glared at Merlin. Morgana looked greatly amused.

“My son and his manservant are rarely seen apart. There shouldn’t be a problem.” Uther said simply, not glancing at Merlin.

“In that case, I can’t wait.” King Bastian said.

oOoOoOo

Arthur sparred in anger. “I mean, how can he just come into another court and be so bold?” He said bringing his sword down to clash against Leon’s.

Merlin sat in his usual seat, eating grapes that George had served him, reading a book that Gaius had lent him.

“I can’t blame him, Merlin’s always been pretty to look at, not just as a woman.” Gwaine said with a smirk as he bested Lancelot.

Arthur scoffed. “Merlin? Pretty?” He looked back at the raven who looked up at them, looking absolutely bored. Merlin made a show of passing the page of the book in an exaggerated and bored fashion and looked as if he scoffed before returning to reading. Arthur found a smile creeping to his lips. When he realised what he was doing he shook his head and frowned. “You’re out of your mind, sir Gwaine.”

“Well, that’s fine, you may not appreciate beauty, but not all men are stubborn fools like you.” Gwaine said. “King Bastian seems very interested in Merlin, even after hearing about the curse. Who knows, Merlin might be swept off his feet by that handsome, foreign king.”

“Merlin would not. He’d never leave my side.” Arthur said boldly and all five knights stopped training and turned to him, shocked to hear him say that. “He-he’s already told me he’s proud to be my servant until the day he dies.” Arthur clarified.

“A most devout servant.” Percival reminded him and Arthur turned to look at Merlin once more, clenching his jaw when he saw Merlin smiling at King Bastian, who was sitting on a stool beside him, chatting about god knows what.

“Poor prince Arthur, surely you understand that you’re jealous right now.” Gwaine said and Arthur laughed.

“Hah! Come on, it’s… _Merlin_!” Arthur exclaimed.

“Mmh… yes he is… and look how pleasantly he’s conversing with that king. Oh, is that laughter?” Gwaine teased leaning on the prince’s shoulder. Arthur scoffed and shook Gwaine off, walking over to Merlin.

Merlin released a delightful sound that hit Arthur like a punch to the gut. He frowned in confusion. Surely he’d heard Merlin laugh before?

King Bastian looked up at him and looked back at Merlin, as if Arthur wasn’t even approaching.

“Exquisite fighting technique, prince Arthur.” The king said, without really looking away from Merlin who glanced, in amusement between both royals.

“Perhaps you’d care for a sparring match?” Arthur offered and Merlin looked at Arthur in shock, amusement fading from his face.

King Bastian chuckled and finally turned to look at Arthur. “Another time, perhaps.” Merlin was once more the focus of his attention. “I have much more important matters at present. Now, Merlin, about that picnic?”

“I’m flattered, your majesty, but it wouldn’t be appropriate.” Merlin said.

“And why not?” He asked. Merlin chuckled and looked at Arthur before turning to reply.

“Because Merlin is carrying my child.” Arthur cut him off and everyone froze around them. Perhaps he said that louder than he intended. Even the servants returning from the marketplace had stopped. George who never seemed fazed by anything had his eyes slightly widened at Arthur’s declaration. The knights behind him seemed to be standing as still as water. No one seemed to want to be the one to break the silence.

“An illegitimate child, well, you certainly seem to be your father’s son.” The king said with a smirk and Merlin immediately stood between them both as Arthur almost pounced on the king.

“Arthur.” Merlin hissed, pulling him away by the shoulders. “What on earth are you doing? Are you trying to start a war with Angevin too?” He whispered as he pulled him away.

“He just insulted my honour.” Arthur hissed.

“So what? What else is he supposed to think?” Merlin said and Arthur huffed looking away. “You’re acting like a… wait.” Arthur frowned turning to look back at him. “Are you… jealous?” Merlin asked shocked.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin.” He scoffed.

“Well, forgive me for the confusion since you’re acting a bit like an idiot right now.” Arthur didn’t get a chance to reply because Bastian came closer.

“I think I’ll take you up on that sparring offer, prince Arthur.” Bastian said and Arthur moved away from Merlin.

“Perfect.” Arthur said and Merlin stepped back, frowning in concern at what was about to unfold.

“ _Morgana?_ ” He gave her a quick update.

“ _I’ll be right there, not missing this for the world._ ” Came the gleeful reply and Merlin rolled his eyes, as clearly everyone was out of their minds right now.


	9. Chapter 9

King Bastian chose the sword as his weapon. Merlin bit his bottom lip. That was Arthur’s go to weapon. When he saw that grin appear on Arthur’s face, Merlin placed his hand over Arthur’s breastplate, stopping him from marching straight into the sparring challenge.

“What is it?” Arthur asked looking at Merlin.

“Don’t get cocky. It’s a well-known fact that you’re an excellent swordsman. If he chose that weapon it’s because he somehow thinks he’s going to beat you.” Merlin said. Arthur chuckled in that condescending tone he always used when he was about to dismiss all of Merlin’s thoughts.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove him wrong.” He said.

“Fine, don’t listen to me. But-” Arthur paused at that and Merlin smirked. “If you start to lose, I’ll cheat to make you win.” Stab him in the pride and honour, where it hurts.

“You will _not_ , I will win this without your help, don’t you dare Merlin.” Arthur hissed.

Merlin leaned in, making Arthur blink in confusion for a second at Merlin’s proximity. “If I see you loosing for being an idiot, I will get you to win with magic.” He said. He knew Arthur would never get over winning like that.

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“ _Good_!” Arthur snapped and stormed off to meet Bastian in the training field.

Merlin huffed watching nervously. Morgana arrived soon after, looking expectantly.

“What did I miss?” Morgana asked.

“Arthur’s just about to start sparring with king Bastian.” Merlin said.

“Tell me everything.” Morgana said, wrapping her arm with Merlin’s and both leaned into each other. The knights came to stand next to them, naturally gravitating toward Merlin.

“Bastian invited me for a picnic. Before I could reject him, his _royal_ highness blurted out I was carrying his child to half the castle. If the way the servants ran off is anything to go by, the whole castle should know of this by now.” Merlin said.

“If not half the citadel. If Uther should be displeased…” Leon said in concern.

“He’ll have to get through us first.” Lancelot said.

Merlin found himself smiling and looked at his friend as Lancelot gave Merlin’s shoulder a squeeze.

oOoOoOo

Arthur walked over to Bastian. His own servant had just finished helping him with the training armour he borrowed by the time Arthur arrived.

“Now, prince Arthur, let’s see if you have what it takes to defeat me.”

Arthur clenched his jaw but nodded, holding his sword confidently. He made the first move, raising his sword and bringing it down and to the side. The king returned with a block easy enough, their swords pushing against each other. Finally Arthur pushed the king back out of the block. The king steadied himself easily enough.

“I was hoping we would talk a bit more. When I started this journey I had no plans to negotiate with Uther. It was you I came to speak with.” Bastian took the initiative and lunged into a quick attack that Arthur dodged just in time, bringing his sword down harshly.

“My father recovered. He is still king. These things happen.” Arthur said simply.

“I liked your character more. If I trusted Uther I would have offered an alliance years back.” Bastian said and both stepped back out of the blocked attack.

Arthur narrowed his eyes. The elder lords of the court had warned him about things like this. About false allies trying to take advantage of a naïve new ruler. “I care strongly about the Saxon matter. I’m sure my father will choose to preserve life rather than risk more casualties by facing the Saxons alone.”

They moved in quick successive movements, metal clashing on metal. Arthur dashed the other’s sword out of the way, slammed his shoulder into the king, knocking him back. The king recovered faster than Arthur expected him to. Sword struck sword and out of nowhere the king took advantage of an opening and kicked Arthur back hard enough to send him to the ground, slightly winded.

“For both our kingdom’s sakes, lets hope so." Bastian said and the honesty in his eyes made Arthur lose some of his dislike for the rude monarch. Bastian offered his hand, which Arthur took, getting back on his feet, trying not to show that his breathing wasn’t quite back to normal. Chainmail doesn’t guard against blunt blows after all. “Now, why don’t we up the stakes?” He asked.

“Stakes?” Arthur frowned, sword gripped firmly in his hands as breath returned to his lungs.

“Your servant. _Merlin._ ” The way he said Merlin’s name made Arthur grip the sword tighter. The man said it like his manservant was some exotic game to be hunted. “If I win this sparring contest, I get to go spend some time with him.” The king said, turning to look at Merlin. Arthur felt the undying urge to hack the other down there and then. The man saw Merlin as… a _strumpet_. His mind went back to what Merlin said.

_“What else is he supposed to think?”_

He remembered Merlin’s expression as Arthur accidentally blurted out the truth about Merlin’s condition. Shock. Everyone else’s silence and reactions. Since the day he arrived, Merlin shifted Arthur’s entire perception on rules and status roles. It was only now, at the king’s request to take Merlin to do god knows what, that he realised the position he’d put Merlin in.

If the king was requesting this so boldly it was Arthur’s own fault. Arthur had Merlin’s dresses ordered of better material. Not quite lady-like but not quite a servant. Merlin still served him up until recently, pouring his drink and cleaning his rooms. The image of Merlin scrubbing the floor on his knees burned in his mind. If Merlin was actually a woman, Arthur realised he would have already ruined her life. But Merlin wasn’t a woman, he was a man. A loyal and fearless servant. His friend, his first true friend. He thought that made a difference. But only to him, it seems.

The king was waiting and turned to look at Merlin. Arthur wanted to shout at him to stop looking. “Don’t worry, I can be quite gentle with courtesans.” Arthur looked over at Merlin who was looking at them with hawk-like eyes and clenched his jaw tightly. He dug his sword in the ground and stepped back.

“No bet.” He ignored the honorifics and walked away.

oOoOoOo

Merlin frowned confused. “What happened?” He asked at the others.

“I’ve never seen Arthur walk away from a fight like that.” Morgana said with a frown. Merlin had to agree. Not while that fire still burned in his eyes. Arthur was furious.

“Everything alright, sire?” Lancelot asked with a frown. The knights were also confused.

“Everything’s fine. We’re finished with training.” Arthur said. “Morgana, Merlin, knights, my rooms in an hour.” He declared and stormed off.

Morgana smirked and slipped her arm off Merlin’s and walked up to the king. Merlin watched Arthur storm away and after looking at the king glance away in amusement, Merlin turned and rushed after Arthur.

oOoOoOo

Merlin walked into Arthur’s rooms to find the prince glaring at the wall while George helped him out of his armour. Merlin glanced to see the bath already drawn and had to wonder how the hell was George so efficient.

“Are you going to tell me what on earth happened back there?” Merlin asked.

“Thank you, George. That will be all.” George bowed and left. Arthur turned to Merlin. “I asked for you in an hour, Merlin.” Arthur snapped.

“Oh, well _that’s_ a good mood.” Merlin said sarcastically. “Firstly, who else is going to heat up your bathwater?” Merlin proceeded to heat up the water and feel it while Arthur went behind the screen and began tossing his clothes off. “Secondly, what happened, Arthur?” Arthur didn’t answer at first. “Arthur!”

“Merlin, will you shut up!” Arthur snapped.

“Uh, no, I _won’t_. First you reveal that I’m pregnant to anyone who isn’t deaf, then you walk away from a sparring match after he knocked you on your arse.” Merlin reached to take the other’s dirty clothes, tossing them in the corner basket for George to grab later.

“He angered me.” Arthur said simply, getting in the water while Merlin’s back was turned.

Merlin gasped. “No, really?”

Arthur narrowed his eyes but sighed, bringing water to his face, washing the grime and sweat away. Merlin turned to choose something for Arthur to wear, while the other decided on what to tell him.

“He had the nerve to say that if he won the sparring match he got to spend _some time with you_.” Arthur said. Merlin stopped brushing the wrinkles off the shirt and turned to Arthur. Arthur had his head back on the side of the bath, staring at the ceiling. “He called you a… courtesan.” Arthur spat out and Merlin flinched at the word but also thought about it.

“Well… from his point of view…” Merlin shrugged coming to kneel by the side of the bath to look Arthur in the face. Arthur took a deep breath before turning to look at Merlin.

“That’s what it looks like, isn’t it?” He said. “You, the stupid, idiot you.”

“Well, that’s nice to hear.” Merlin grumbled and Arthur smiled.

“You lied to me about your… talents. But it is still true that you’re brave, and loyal and full of _sagely_ wisdom in dire times.”

Merlin smiled and looked away. “It’s hard being so loyal to a royal clot pole.” He added. He looked back at Arthur to see him with that soft look in his eyes. Arthur’s eyes flickered to his lips. Merlin found himself copying him and felt his breath hitch at the sight of Arthur’s rosy mouth.

He stood and walked back to the other’s clothes, his heart racing in his chest. He frowned in confusion at his heart’s reaction. “It doesn’t explain why you just walked away. I told you either way you’d win that fight.” Merlin said, thanking god that his voice didn’t tremble.

“You are not currency, Merlin. Neither are you a courtesan, nor a woman with no morals. You are an unfortunate victim of the darkness that is magic.”

Merlin walked to the window, as he was used to doing now every time he heard Arthur step out of the water to get dressed. A habit he got into after two weeks of Arthur awkwardly shouting at him to turn his back whenever the prat would walk around naked.

“Magic is not dark, Arthur.” Merlin said. “It’s saved your life more times than I can count.”

A hand rested on his shoulder and gently turned him around. Merlin felt warmth run to his face as Arthur still had that look in his eyes. It made Merlin terrified.

“ _You’ve_ saved my life multiple times.” Arthur seemed to correct. “Merlin, you are a great friend and most loyal subject. Since you arrived, I have to tell you, my life has been infinitely more stressful…”

“Sorry.” Merlin blurted out, wishing there was somewhere he could run to, but now both of Arthur’s arms rested on his shoulders.

“… and yet there hasn’t been a dull moment with you in my life.” Arthur looked down for a second and then back up to Merlin. “I need to do what is right.” Merlin stood very still, trying not to miss Arthur’s words through the loud pounding of his heart in his ears. “Marry me.”

oOoOoOo

Leon opened the door to Arthur’s room to chaos. Morgana had just arrived before him and was staring at Merlin and Arthur shouting at each other. As the knights entered and closed the door behind them, he tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Why not?” Arthur yelled from one side of the bed dodging the pillows as Merlin threw them at him.

“Because it’s insanity! I am not a woman!” Merlin yelled.

“It doesn’t matter! You’re a woman for now, so it shouldn’t be a problem.” Arthur said.

He came to stand next to Morgana and leaned in. “Do we know what’s happening, my Lady?” He whispered.

“Not a problem?!” Merlin yelled. “When the child is born I’ll turn back _into_ a man, then what?”

“Then nothing! There’s nothing in the vows that claims the marriage would be invalid if the bride somehow turns into a man overnight!” Arthur yelled catching the next pillow, jumping over the bed to grab Merlin but Merlin just went round the bed, where his pillow ammunition was now restored.

Lady Morgana turned to him, trying to contain the mirth. “Only the most beautiful thing, sir Leon. Only the most beautiful thing is happening.” She was clearly thoroughly enjoying this.

“I am _not_ marrying you, Arthur!”

“Arthur and Merlin are getting married?” Gwaine asked confused.

“Yes, we are.”

“No, we are not.” Came the simultaneous reply from the blond and raven. “Arthur, it has been _a week_ since you finalised things with Gwen. I cannot spit in her pain by marrying you!” Merlin insisted.

“I still love Gwen! But I must do what is right by my child!” Arthur exclaimed. “And by you! I can’t… _won’t_ have anyone make assumptions about you.”

“You sure have chosen the _worst_ time to start caring about my feelings!” Merlin yelled.

“Would Uther even allow this?” Lancelot asked. Percival just stared, a hand over his mouth trying to look serious while his grin threatened to show.

“That’s why this _genius_ is talking about eloping!” Merlin snapped.

“Elope with Merlin?” Percival asked and all turned to Arthur who finally turned away from Merlin to face them.

“I have explained my reasons. That’s why I have asked you, my most trusted men, to accompany Merlin and I as witnesses and…” He turned to Morgana. Leon looked at Lady Morgana as she returned Arthur’s gaze. “…and you, Morgana, as my sister, and high priestess of the Old Religion to also perform the ceremony for the old religion.” Everyone was quiet for a moment.

“Arthur, have you been enchanted? Are you even listening to yourself?” Merlin asked.

“I am serious. If not to save your name, then to save the child. Or did the you think the insults and insinuations would end with you?” Arthur asked.

Merlin seemed restless about that question and turned to sit by the edge of the bed. Leon stepped forward then. “He’s right, Merlin. This could protect you both.”

“I was born to protect Arthur, not _marry_ him!”

“Don’t be stubborn, Merlin. It’s the best option here.” Gwaine agreed and Merlin crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re both always acting like a married couple as is.” Everyone nodded and after Merlin shook off the look of betrayal he turned away from all of them.

“Not yet.” Merlin said.

“Good thing these things take planning.” Morgana added coming forward and patting the prince on the shoulder. “I will make arrangements. An old religion wedding is far grander than you could possibly know. I’ll tell you all when I’m finished preparing the details.” She said and turned to Merlin. “Cheer up, dear sister. This is for the best.” Lady Morgana said brightly and skipped on out of the room. Her laughter could be heard down the corridor.

“I’m still slightly concerned about her.” The prince said, frowning at the door and all of them turned to Merlin. “Merlin? Will you accept?”

Merlin turned to look at Arthur, then at the knights. “Fine. Let’s get married. But no one tells Gwen! I don’t want her to find out! I wouldn’t bear it!” Merlin said and everyone nodded.

“Thank you, Merlin.” Elyan said and Merlin nodded, looking down and away.


	10. Chapter 10

Merlin refused to even mention the word marriage after that. He couldn’t stop feeling guilty about Gwen. Arthur left him alone from trying to talk about it after he realised Merlin was going to keep ignoring him. The days after that were a bit of a haze. Breakfast with Arthur, training with Arthur, mid-day meal with Arthur, strolling the markets with king Bastian and Arthur, spending the afternoon with Morgana, dinning with Arthur, and going to sleep beside Arthur. All while spending most days throwing up at random points of the day. Arthur insisted with Gaius that it can’t be normal but Gaius assured them both, that it was.

Today, Merlin had been confined to the bed by Arthur when he woke up nauseous. Merlin was too queasy to argue and simply agreed, staying under the covers, welcoming the warmth against the decreasing temperatures. He just lay in bed all morning, having had small bites of food at a time that Arthur left on his nightstand. Merlin was sincerely shocked to find Arthur knew how to serve food. Arthur was sincerely offended at his words and after messing up his hair even more than it already was in the morning, Arthur left for training.

George came briefly and placed his meal on the table. After unsuccessfully trying to get the man to loosen up, Merlin dismissed him and ate his mid-day meal.

After that he got frustrated because as soon as he was ready to get out of the room, he started feeling dizzy. When that finally passed he made his way down to Gaius’ chambers. The familiar smell of the drying herbs made him feel instantly better and he walked in to see his mentor grinding some down to powder.

“Ah, Merlin. Come in, my boy. Have a seat, you look deathly pale.” Gaius said with a frown, bringing him over to the sick bed.

“I’m fine… I was just feeling dizzy earlier. Now I’m just nauseous.” He mumbled.

“Just lie yourself down. You’ve been stressing over something. I can tell.” Gaius stubbornly tucked him into bed and Merlin huffed covering his eyes with the back of his hand, hoping it would do something. “Is it Arthur?”

“When _isn’t_ it Arthur?” Merlin asked.

“Hmm… you make a fair point.” Gaius said and Merlin sighed. “I heard you’re carrying, heard it from the cook. Overjoyed she was. A new prince, that should brighten up the place, she said.” Gaius said and Merlin groaned.

“Arthur practically shouted it after king Bastian arrived and invited me to have a picnic with him. Then he proceeded to try and bet with Arthur that if he won the sparring match I could sleep with him.” Merlin said. There was silence at first.

“What did Arthur say to him at that?”

“Arthur quit the match and refused to make a bet with him.”

“Good.” Gaius replied.

“No, not good, Gaius.” Merlin sat himself up and looked at him. “Arthur’s asked me to elope with him. I’m getting married to that turnip head!” Merlin whispered, putting his head in his hands.

“Well… where should I tell Hunnith to go for the ceremony?” Gaius asked.

“Gaius, you’re not helping!” Merlin exclaimed. “Oh god… I haven’t told my mother anything yet.” Merlin whispered. “The one thing she always told me! Don’t lie carelessly with girls, Merlin. You don’t want a child out of wedlock, Merlin.”

“Well, you haven’t done the first thing. Plus, if you marry Arthur that seems to resolve half of what she’d complain about.” Gaius mixed a powder with water and brought it over. Merlin was still glaring as he approached. “Drink this, it’ll give you a little energy. Hopefully a little colour too, has Arthur seen the way you look?” Gaius said worried and Merlin sipped the somewhat bitter drink.

“Gaius, could you do me a favour? Could you tell my mother?” Merlin asked, looking at the drink. He was expecting him to refuse but his mentor placed his hand on Merlin’s head.

“I already did, she’s on her way now, actually. You’ll have to update her on the wedding though.” Gaius said. Merlin’s eyes widened.

“My mother is coming?” He stood. “Wh-when did she leave Ealdor?” How many days before she was likely to arrive?

oOoOoOo

Arthur wished this day would end. He’d shown King Bastian around the finer stores around the citadel. It seemed that the man rather enjoyed buying things. Arthur didn’t care, if anything it helped his people as it brought money in, but the man would not shut up about the differences in their courts, how much grander his kingdom’s customs were, how much brighter the colours were, how much better the sun shined over there. It irritated Arthur to the core.

So when he saw a familiar face making its way through the citadel with decisive strides he almost ran toward it.

“Hunnith!” Arthur smiled in greeting. Merlin’s mother looked startled to find him in the market but soon a rage sparked in her eyes and Arthur felt a pang of concern. Then he felt the sting of her slap. She was much faster than Merlin. Definitely stronger.

“Arthur, how could you?” Hunnith hissed. The guards rushed to grab her but Arthur rose his hand and they stopped.

“Hunnith, perhaps we can speak in the palace? Or somewhere more private?” Arthur asked, trying to resist the urge to reach up and cup his stinging face in front of the stupid king of Angevin.

“I should hope so, but first I’m going to get my hands on my stupid boy!” She exclaimed and turned, continuing her way to the castle. Arthur turned to the king.

“You’ll have to excuse me, your highness, the guards will accompany you back.” Arthur said and ran after Hunnith.

oOoOoOo

Merlin returned to his room when he realised he wasn’t getting any better. Wait… _his_ room? He stared at Arthur’s door. Since when did it become his room too? He sighed and entered. He needed his bed. He just wanted to close his eyes and forget about everything.

“I told him to stay in bed.” Arthur insisted.

“You and my son have been sharing a bed for a month? How long before that! Oh god what was Merlin thinking?” His mother’s voice rang and Merlin’s eyes widened, closing the door behind him and rushing into view.

“Mom?” Arthur looked up, relief in his face as well as a red mark on his cheek. His mother looked furious.

“Merlin!” She paused and looked at him. “My boy… how could you do this?” She whispered.

“Do this? I didn’t _do_ this! I was forced into it.” Merlin said. His mother’s eyes widened and turned with killing intent to Arthur. “No! That’s not what I meant! What did Gaius tell you?!” He exclaimed running to stand in front of Arthur.

“He told me you’d gotten turned into a woman and that you’re pregnant with Arthur’s child. I knew you two were close...”

“We were not.” Both said simultaneously.

“…but to think that after getting turned into a woman you could just do anything? Of course this was going to happen!” Hunnith said ignoring their interjection. Merlin took a deep breath as he began to feel dizzy again.

“Mom that’s not…” Merlin took a deep breath and staggered back into Arthur.

“Merlin? Merlin!” He heard Arthur call, caught a glimpse of his panicked expression and fell into his arms. They were strong and held him as if he weighed nothing. He felt himself getting put back into bed and his mother trying to calm a frantic Arthur. Arthur sending for Gaius. A hand on his forehead petting his hair. His mother. Another coming to hold his hand far too strongly to be his mother. He gave that hand a squeeze to tell him he was fine. He couldn’t help the squeeze of his heart realising he’d made Arthur this worried.

oOoOoOo

“He’s fine sire. These things happen to all pregnant women.” Gaius said simply. Arthur couldn’t believe that.

“How is this normal? He’s sick almost every day, now this? What if the spell is hurting him somehow? What if his magic is fighting against this? What if-”

Gaius’ hand on his shoulder grounded him and Arthur took a deep breath. “He is fine, Arthur. You need to calm down.”

“How do we know, for sure, the same thing that happened to my mother won’t happen to him?” Arthur asked.

“To start with, it’s a different spell, and a sacrifice has already been given.” Gaius said. “Sire, you really don’t need to worry so much. Merlin’s much stronger than you think.”

Arthur looked at Merlin, while Hunnith used a cool cloth on Merlin’s forehead. He finally nodded. “Thank you, Gaius.” Gaius nodded and left.

Arthur came to lean against the bedpost, staring at Merlin’s rising and falling of his chest.

“A spell was used?” Hunnith asked. She looked tense, and Arthur knew she knew of Merlin’s secret.

“Merlin broke free from his restraints with magic. Then he freed us with it. My sister killed the sorceress trying to use the spell to conceive. With her dead, the spell chose Merlin as the closest host. Merlin was turned into a woman by his own magic before the child entered him.” Arthur explained.

“So, you two have never lain with each other?” She asked looking up at Arthur and he had to look away, not knowing whether to laugh or scoff so he did an odd mix of the two.

“No, of course not.”

“Hmm… well that’s surprising.” She said and Arthur turned to her confused but she offered no explanation. “And you know of his magic.”

“Yes, but my father doesn’t. Only my most trusted knights and Morgana who was there.” He said. “When did he start learning?” He asked.

She gave him an odd look. “Learning?”

“Learning magic?”

“Merlin didn’t _learn_ magic. Until he came to Camelot he didn’t know a single spell.” She said and turned to Merlin, petting his hair. “The day he was born, he was a quiet boy. Cried once and that’s it. As I cried my heart out holding him to my chest… his eyes glowed a molten gold and flower petals began to fall from the ceiling.” Hunnith said, smiling warmly.

Arthur stared at her then at Merlin. How was it that a new-born babe could have such power? Would his child be the same? If that was true there was no way of keeping it a secret from his father. A cold icy feeling settled in his chest and he realised… his father would not hesitate to throw his babe into the same pyre he’d strap Merlin to.

“He said he was born with it… I didn’t believe him.” Arthur whispered feeling almost out of breath. Now he was more than convinced that marrying Merlin was the correct option. It may not offer every protection. But it would offer some. “We’re getting married, a secret from my father.” Arthur said and Hunnith looked up at him shocked.

“You can’t!” She whispered.

Arthur sighed. “It’s the only way to offer him more protection.” He said.

“Merlin is a servant, you are a prince.”

“My child will also be of royal blood. To hell with stations!” Arthur said frustrated with this argument. It made Hunnith pause and stare at him.

“Do you love each other?” She asked. Arthur opened his mouth to lie but his voice didn’t come out. He looked away.

“I love another.” He admitted.

“Merlin would never forgive himself.” She said softly and stood coming before him. “Unless you can say that you will at least try to come to love him, as a man, not what he looks like now, I won’t give you my blessing.” She said.

Arthur stared at her and looked at Merlin. Could he love Merlin? Merlin? Hah! What a stupid notion! How could he possibly come to love Merlin? Stupid, idiot Merlin. Loyal, brave… beautiful… His heart skipped a beat and he looked away. He’s beautiful as a woman, yes, but as a man? To be honest they didn’t look at all that different. He must have simply not noticed before.

The fierce, electric blue eyes, defined cheekbones, pale skin. Yes, he had always been beautiful. He took a deep breath looking at Merlin once more. “All I know… is that my life would be a lot emptier without him.” He said and finally dared to look at Hunnith who’d been studying his reaction.

“That’s good enough… for now.” She said and smiled at Arthur, cupping his cheek. “Well, I never thought I’d have a son-in-law.” She pulled him down and warmth went down to Arthur’s heart as she placed a kiss on his forehead and caressed his cheek. It made him think of his own mother and his heart squeezed painfully. “If it’s alright, I’ll stay until the ceremony. That way you don’t have to send me coded messages. If you’re trying to keep it secret from the king it’s probably best writing is kept to a minimum.” She said gently and Arthur nodded.

“You’re more than welcome.” He said. She nodded and let go turning to look at Merlin who was glaring softly at Arthur.

“You keep your hands off my mother.” He said and Arthur laughed softly, more of relief at seeing Merlin awake with more colour on his cheeks then when he fainted.

“You idiot, didn’t I tell you to stay in bed?” Arthur asked coming round to him.

“I got bored.” Merlin said. “Besides, this is normal.” He said.

“Yes, Gaius was most insistent on that.” Arthur said reaching to feel Merlin’s forehead making them both tense. Merlin looked up at Arthur questioningly and Arthur pulled his hand back. “Good, no fever. Quite normal, indeed. Right, I’ll, I. Things to do.” Arthur said and nodded at Hunnith before leaving.

Outside the room Arthur tried to slow his heart beat. He could still feel the softness of Merlin’s skin under his fingers and clenched his hand into a fist trying to forget about the sensation. The rest of the day he was haunted by the question Hunnith asked him. Could he come to love Merlin? His instinct every time was to dismiss the notion as absolutely ridiculous.

He kept thinking of Gwen and the feel of her skin, the scent of her hair, the softness of her lips. His reactions to Merlin were starting to scare him. Gwen he knew, Gwen he loved.

oOoOoOo

Merlin noticed Arthur acting a bit strange the days after that. He would avoid eye-contact with him and keep conversations short and simple.

One night Merlin woke up to the feel of Arthur’s fingers on his cheek. He was half asleep so his eyes didn’t open but he was certain of it. Then he felt the warm sensation of breath over his lips and his heart raced wildly, realising what was about to happen. It was gone before he realised it and Arthur jumped out of bed. Merlin heard him mutter insults at himself. He dared open his eyes slightly but Arthur wasn’t looking at him. He dressed himself and put on his cloak. He was out the door in less than five minutes.

Merlin sat up and threw the covers off. He put on his boots and grabbed his own cloak, throwing it on and following Arthur as he was so used to doing. This felt familiar. Almost fun.

Arthur was easy to follow as Merlin was an expert by now.

A hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to be met with Lancelot’s glare. “Merlin? What are you doing?” He asked confused.

“Shh!” Merlin whispered and blew at the other’s torch. His eyes glowed and that simple puff of air turned off the torch. He returned to looking for Arthur and hurried down the corridor. The tinkling of chainmail told him Lancelot was following.

“Who are we following?” Lancelot asked softly afterward. “An intruder?”

“It’s Arthur.” He whispered, watching Arthur go out the back exit where the deliveries arrived.

“Honestly, you two make our jobs twice as hard.” Lancelot said.

“Go back to your post and forget you saw us.” Merlin said. Lancelot laughed.

“Not likely.”

They followed Arthur through the upper town and when they saw where he was heading Merlin stopped. His heart raced. Arthur knocked on the door and Gwen opened the door soon after.

“Arthur!” She whispered surprised.

“Please… I had to see you.” Arthur said and Gwen looked at him with longing, bringing him down to kiss him. Merlin stared as Arthur grabbed her almost with desperation, kissing her back in a way that made Merlin’s heart squeeze painfully, while before it would have made him overjoyed seeing Arthur going for the person he loved. Arthur entered the house and the door closed. Merlin stood there frozen.

Lancelot wrapped his arm around Merlin’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Are you alright?” he asked.

“Fine… this is to be expected, isn’t it?” He said trying to force a smile but it hurt. All he could think about was the warmth of Arthur’s mouth over his own. Longing. That’s what he’d felt.

“Stop it Merlin, I know exactly what you’re feeling right now.” He said softly. “Let’s go back.”

“No.” Merlin said and looked up. “I have to hear what he has to say.” He said and walked closer to the hut. Lancelot tried to discourage him but as they came closer they both had to stop talking or risk being heard.

oOoOoOo

Arthur held Gwen close, kissing her deeply, relishing the feel of her body against his own.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Arthur whispered.

“I’ve missed you too…” She whispered and looked at him with those gorgeous brown eyes. “But why are you here?” She asked.

“I needed to see your face… I needed you.” He said, caressing her cheek leaning in for another kiss but she moved back.

“Wait… what about Merlin?” She asked.

“Please, let’s not talk about Merlin right now. I just want to forget about him.” Arthur said reaching to hold her but she stepped back.

“Forget about him? He’s still carrying your child.” She reminded him. “And now everyone knows about it. What would people say if they saw you coming to my house at this hour?” She asked.

“I don’t care what people say.” Arthur said. “I just care about you. Gwen, I love you.”

“So if people start calling me the things they call Merlin you won’t care?” She asked.

“What are people saying about Merlin?” He asked.

“I think you can guess.” She said.

“Gwen, I’m sorry, of course I care about those things but… I just couldn’t marry Merlin without seeing you again.” He said.

“You’re getting _married_?!” She exclaimed.

“For the sake of the child! Please, Gwen. I love you, I’ll always love you!”

“You need to leave, Arthur.” Gwen said. Arthur shook his head and tried to reach for her hands but she recoiled from him. “Get out.” She said louder.

“Gwen please, I didn’t choose this!” He said.

“Neither did Merlin!” She yelled and Arthur froze.

“I don’t love Merlin! I’ll never love Merlin! He means nothing to me! I can’t…” He whispered, sounding unsure more than anything. The sound of running feet drew their attention and Arthur stormed out, Gwen following him. Lancelot stood, leaned against the wall of the house, a robbed figure running away. “Sir Lancelot?” He asked.

“That’s Merlin.” Lancelot said. Arthur stared at the lone figure running in the opposite direction of the castle.

“Go after him.” Arthur said softly.

“Why? It’s not _his_ child he’s carrying.” Gwen said bluntly and glared at him. A look that crushed Arthur. “This is reality, Arthur. You and I can never be. If you’re done lying to me maybe you can stop lying to yourself. Merlin has meant more to you than you seem to realise. I’ll never be able to compete with him. And I don’t intend to compete.” She said finally.

As if awakening from a heavy sleep, Arthur looked away from Gwen to Merlin who was nowhere to be seen. Merlin who was running opposite from the castle.

“Merlin!” He yelled and ran after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone, I'm glad you're enjoying the story!


	11. Chapter 11

He spotted Merlin’s small form running off on a horse through the city gates.

There was no way he would catch him on foot. Arthur hurried back to the stables to get one himself. The palace horses were stronger in breed and Arthur began to gain up on Merlin’s fleeing form. Merlin looked over his shoulder. When he noticed him there, Arthur hoped the other wouldn’t think of using magic to stop him.

“Merlin! Stop fleeing you coward!” He called. Merlin drove the horse off the main road and the animal pulled Merlin through the wide clearing. Arthur followed trying to get the horse to go faster. Merlin was almost within reach. The breeze had knocked his hood back and Arthur saw, surprised to see tear trails down his face. He was about to reach for him once more when an ethereal cry left Merlin’s lips.

“O, Dragorn! E male soi ftengometta tesd’hup anakess!” He cried out. Arthur frowned in confusion.

“Merlin!” Before Merlin could respond, a deafening roar was heard and Arthur looked over his shoulder to watch the dragon sweeping down. His heart was gripped with terror as he witnessed the beast swooping down. “Merlin! Watch out!” He called out. The dragon landed before them and the horses whinnied and stopped, terrified.

To Arthur’s horror, Merlin got off the horse and ran toward the dragon. Terror coursed through his veins at the thought of Merlin running to his death. He threw himself off the horse and ran after Merlin.

“Merlin!” He yelled. The dragon brought down its head and wing and Arthur froze as Merlin began to climb the beast. “Merlin! What are you doing?” He yelled.

Merlin looked at him. “I never should have come between you two!” He yelled. Before Arthur could demand that he come down from there, the dragon spread his wings and took off.

There was only one thing that Arthur could think of as he watched Merlin riding the dragon. That Merlin was the most stunning creature he’d ever seen. The confidence and power radiating from his small form made Arthur’s heart squeeze and race. It was then that he realised how wrong he was when he said those things to Gwen. She’d read him like a book. And now his future was flying away from him.

“Come back!” But the dragon just kept flying further and further away.

oOoOoOo

Arthur paced in Gaius’ chambers, the knights Morgana, Gaius and Hunith all sitting down while Arthur explained what he saw.

“Now, can _someone_ please explain to me how Merlin got that beast to carry him away without biting his head off first?” Arthur demanded.

Gaius took a deep breath and Arthur set his glare on the physician as he began to explain. “When Merlin and you set off on the search of the Dragon Lord, Balinor, I revealed to him a secret that had been kept to him his whole life.” He began.

“Balinor was Merlin’s father.” Hunith said simply, looking at her hands.

“When Balinor died, Merlin inherited the powers of a Dragon Lord.” Gaius finished.

Arthur scoffed. “Of course he did. And he never told me? How could he not tell me something like that?” More than that, Arthur still remembered Merlin crying over the dead Dragon Lord. He remembered what he told Merlin afterward.

_“I’m going to tell you, what I tell all my young knights. No man is worth your tears.”_

Arthur clenched his jaw and sat down taking a deep breath. How many times had he hurt Merlin like that? Carelessly, without meaning to.

“You know perfectly well why, Arthur.” Gwaine said. “Why did you go to Gwen’s? As if this whole thing wasn’t hard enough on Merlin!” He stood glaring at him, visibly shaking, as if he wanted to strike him.

“I still love Gwen and… Merlin… I was confused about!” He snapped.

“Oh, and Merlin isn’t confused? If he’s not swaying or vomiting he’s busy feeling guilty about you and Gwen!” Morgana exclaimed. “It’s taking a lot of work to get this wedding organised so you’re going to have to tell me now whether I should continue or not.”

Arthur turned to look at them and nodded. “You’re right. I’ve been thinking about myself too much. Merlin is important to me, he is.” He told Hunith mostly who chuckled.

“Arthur, when I arrived a few days ago you were frantic about Merlin’s fainting spell. It’s easy enough to see that he’s important to you. But you need to understand that marriage requires an entirely new level of commitment.” She said. “When you are married, you can’t have any doubts.”

“We must find him.” Arthur said and turned to Morgana. “Can you use your magic to track him?” He asked. 

“Of course I can.” She said and stood, going to Merlin’s rooms and pulling out a book. “Here we are.” She said and dropped it on the table. Arthur watched her assemble a large black bowl filled with water and found the needed page on the book. It took her a while of looking since it wasn’t her book.

“How long?” Arthur asked.

“Patience, little brother.” She complained and Arthur rolled his eyes, pacing once more. Morgana began reading the words on the page, her hands moving over her water. She picked up the knife and turned to Hunith. “If I may, I need a drop of Merlin’s blood.” She said. Hunith nodded and stretched out her hand.

Arthur watched as Morgana performed a small cut on Hunith’s finger. The woman clenched her jaw but didn’t wince. Arthur watched as a drop of blood fell on the clear water but nothing happened. Morgana frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked.

“It’s not working.” She looked up at Hunith. “Are you sure you’re his mother?” She asked. Hunith scoffed.

“If the two days of labour are anything to go by, then yes.” She said.

“Perhaps,” Leon suggested. “With the child growing within Merlin, his blood now requires some of Arthur’s.”

“What an excellent idea, sir Leon. Arthur,” Morgana invited extending her hand for Arthur to come forth. Arthur offered his hand. He didn’t know why he doubted his blood to work. As the drop hit the surface of the water it glowed a faint gold and Merlin’s face appeared. Arthur felt his heart squeeze painfully as he saw Merlin’s face once more.

He said something that Arthur couldn’t hear and the dragon swooped down to land by a clearing, a large cave in the backdrop and the start of some mountains.

Merlin marched to the river nearby and drank from the river. The dragon followed him and grabbed onto a large branch of a fruit tree, shaking it and sending fruit down on Merlin.

Merlin looked up, his eyes glowing molten gold and catching a couple of the suspended fruit.

“I know where he is.” Arthur said softly. “Far off to the east, but still within Camelot. We’ll leave immediately.” He said.

“Arthur, I know those mountains too, they’re a week on horse, that’s if Merlin doesn’t decide to ride the dragon to the opposite side of the kingdom.” Percival interrupted.

“I can’t leave him alone out there! He’s carrying my heir, and people know that now!” Arthur exclaimed.

“Your highness, he has a massive dragon guarding him. I think it’s safe to say no one is going to come within thousands of yards of Merlin for the time being.” Elyan said.

Arthur wanted to argue but he looked away. “When do you suggest we leave then?”

“You’re not going anywhere.” Everyone turned to find Uther at the door. Morgana tipped the bowl over, the image of Merlin vanishing. “I knew there was something wrong about that boy. But a Dragon Lord? Well, that’s special indeed.”

“Father.” Arthur said, his whole body was tense as he stared as his father entered, following by the castle guards.

“Sir Leon, I am truly disappointed.” Uther said ignoring Arthur for now.

“My loyalty remains bound to Camelot, my Lord.” Leon said proudly and Arthur felt flattered knowing that Leon thought of him as Camelot, not his father.

“Good to hear. You shall then, lead the search for the Dragon Lord. For setting the dragon on the citizens of Camelot he shall be executed. He will burn like those the dragon burned.” Uther said and Arthur shook his head.

“You can’t! He’s carrying my child I won’t let you do this.” Arthur yelled.

“Arthur, you will be confined to your rooms until this issue is resolved. Your commoner knights are stripped of their titles until they can prove where their true loyalties lie. Morgana, you will use your magic to find the Dragon Lord.” Uther said.

“I will not, father.” Morgana said simply.

Uther glared at everyone. “Need I remind everyone in this room that I am still king!” He shouted at the top of his lungs.

“I made a vow on my magic never to use it to betray Camelot.” Morgana said simply. “Unfortunately, as Merlin is carrying the prince, second in line for the throne after Arthur, he counts as Camelot.” She said simply. Uther cursed under his breath.

“Guards, take Arthur to his rooms.”

“I warn you, Uther, if you do this you will regret it.” Arthur said.

“If you try to go after him and warn him, I will have you tried for treason.” Uther said.

“Then you will leave Camelot with no heir.” Arthur said coldly.

“I would rather see it crumble to the ground than see it end up on the hands of a Dragon Lord.” Uther hissed and turned to leave before turning back to them. “I did manage to catch some of that, a mountainous terrain, far off to the east, a week on horseback? Hmm… sounds like the boarder of the Caerleon Mountains don’t you think, Arthur?”

Terror struck Arthur’s heart and he drew his sword. “Don’t be a fool, Arthur. Go to your rooms.” Uther said coldly and Arthur looked at the number of guards. Rage coursed under his veins at the thought of the other setting off after Merlin and didn’t put his sword down. “Fine, you will spend your confinement in the dungeons. That might help to clear your head as to who your king is.”

He left and Arthur raised his hand to fight but Gaius stopped him. “Buy your time, Arthur.” He said. Arthur stopped and it was enough hesitation for the guards to knock the sword from his hand and pull Arthur off to the dungeons.

Leon turned to the knights and Morgana, Hunith looking pale and frightened. Gaius looking sombre and pensive.

“What now?” Elyan asked.

“Now, we plan a wedding.” Morgana said simply.

“What are you talking about?” Gwaine asked.

“Leon is already on duty to find Merlin.” She pointed at Leon. “You’ll carry on as instructed, just make sure the knights you go with don’t harm Merlin.” Morgana said simply. “Arthur and I will escape. Gaius, you and Hunith must get Geoffrey to where the ceremony will take place as he will be officiating the non-magical ceremony and signing the official paperwork. Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan and Percival, you’re all key in helping me break Athur out.”

“Well, you’ve thought everything out.” Gwaine said.

“Yes, and I know it will work and believe me that the wedding will be glorious.” Morgana said with delight. “Now, for the details.”

Everyone listened in closer to make sure all was done according to plan.

oOoOoOo

Arthur paced in his cell trying to think what to do. A few days had passed. If on their best horses Leon should have reached the Caerleon boarder by now. Had Merlin changed locations? He prayed he had. He couldn’t let his father get to Merlin. He needed to see him. He needed Merlin. Needed to kiss him the way he almost did before he ran to Gwen. He needed to see whether what he already felt in his heart was love or not.

He heard the sound of steps approaching and walked to the gates, seeing King Bastian coming to visit.

“My dear Arthur, look at you, locked away in your own cells.” He said highly amused.

“Bastian.” Arthur said, without the honourifics. Bastian chuckled.

“I am to return to Angevin. Your father has decided that he doesn’t need my assistance to deal with the Saxons.” He said.

“My father is a fool.” Arthur said, furious. “He is proud and irrational and led only by his hate on magic.”

Bastian nodded. “Well, we both know this. The question is whether you will do anything about it.”

Arthur frowned looking at him. “Something like what?”

“You are smart, Arthur. If your father is unfit to rule according to you, it’s up to you to take charge.” Arthur laughed.

“As if my father would willingly abdicate.” He said.

“No, not _willingly_.” Bastian said and Arthur realised what he was saying.

“Are you suggesting I betray the king and bring war on Camelot?” He said.

“All I’m saying is that should you need an army, you will have one from me, as long as you agree to sign a treaty and allow me to assist on the fight with the Saxons.” He said. Arthur stared at him.

“You seem very confident I’m getting out of here.” He said.

“Let’s just say your sister is not the only one with visions.” He said simply and stretched his arm into the cell for Arthur to shake.

Arthur stared at him and felt his heart race. He wanted to laugh at his doubts. As if he needed to kiss Merlin to prove it to himself. He was willing to bring war to his father for Merlin. He knew deep in his heart he never would have done it for Gwen. It was enough proof to him.

He reached out and gave Bastian a firm shake of the arm. “I’ll await the call.” Bastian said and left. It was as he left that Arthur looked down at the key the other handed him during the shake.

He didn’t have to wait long for the right time to use it. That night he heard his sister’s voice whispering a spell and the guards by his cell collapsed into sleep. He wasted no time unlocking the door and Morgana chuckled, grabbing his hand, pulling him along. Lancelot and Gwaine stood at the entrance, holding his armour and sword.

“Horses?” He asked.

“Elyan and Percival are on it.” Gwaine said patting his shoulder as they made their way out.

Arthur just about managed to throw his chainmail on as they made their way out when the king’s guards surprised them all, trapping them in the courtyard.

oOoOoOo

Merlin gasped, stopping as if he’d hit a brick wall as he closed his eyes and he was transported in spirit to Camelot. Arthur and four of the knights cornered, Morgana getting pushed behind Arthur to protect her. What was happening?

Merlin’s heart stopped and turned to look at Uther who looked down on the group with anger.

“I am disappointed Arthur. Your friends will all be executed and you two will go to the dungeons.” Uther said looking at Morgana and Arthur.

“Stop this, father! Before you regret it!” Arthur yelled.

“You are in no place to talk, Arthur.” Uther said and the knights took out their weapons as the guards approached.

Merlin felt his heart race. _“Arthur.”_

Arthur jumped, startled and looking around. “Merlin?” He asked confused.

 _“What’s happening?”_ He asked.

“I’m coming for you, that’s what’s happening.” Arthur said softly and looked up at his father. “Father! Abdicate or face war with me!” Arthur yelled. Everyone in the courtyard froze.

“Arthur… what are you saying?” Percival whispered but Arthur didn’t look away from his father.

“You’re declaring war on me?” He laughed. “Now I know you’ve gone mad.” He said. “Who would fight for you?”

“I have many loyal knights! Any man who is tired with your disgusting genocide of mostly innocent people! Any man that is insulted by your hypocrisy of declaring magic banned only because you caused your wife’s death with a spell! Anyone that wants a strong Camelot where no one needs to hide in fear of what they’re gifted with!” Arthur declared passionately.

Merlin felt his eyes wet with tears as he looked at the scene and felt the magic at his tips.

“Arrest him!” Uther ordered.

Merlin felt his eyes burn with magic and as if he was standing right there, every single guard was blasted back and knocked unconscious, leaving their path clear for their escape. _“Go, Arthur!”_

It took them all a few seconds to get over the shock before they got on their horses.

Morgana turned back to her father and reached her hand out. Uther flinched and covered himself from what he believed to be an imminent attack. Instead, a flower grew from the wooden frame. A flower they’d used to go and pick when she was just a child. Uther stared at it then at their retreating backs in shock.

Merlin felt himself get knocked back to the clearing and groaned.

“Young warlock?” Kilgharrah asked and Merlin dropped to his knees, throwing up everything in his stomach, whimpering as a wave of weakness washed over him.

He heard Kilgharrah growl and looked up to see Leon approaching. “Merlin! Thank god I found you!” He said.

“ _How_ did you find me?” He asked standing up.

“Um… Merlin… your friend?” Leon said looking at the dragon nervously. Merlin smiled at Kilgharrah.

“Thank you Kilgharrah, you can go.” He said. Kilgharrah leaned in and sniffed Leon up close before walking away and taking to the sky.

“Merlin, what on earth were you thinking running off like that?” Leon asked coming to hug him.

Merlin sighed and hugged his friend back. “I just…”

“Everything will be alright, Merlin.” Leon whispered in his ear. Merlin looked up at him confused when a hand came behind him, placing a wet oddly sweet-smelling cloth over his mouth. His weakened body collapsed into Leon’s waiting arms.

He heard voices of other knights, but none of his friends other than Leon.


	12. Chapter 12

It was a couple of days later that Hunith found herself making her way into the royal library. Geoffrey sat, looking stern at his books and glaring at whoever entered. The glare melted away seeing Hunith.

“Ah, yes, supper! What have we today, my dear?” He asked, making way for the tray of food.

“We have a lovely roast chicken, soft bread bun with butter and steamed carrots.” She said.

“Exquisite. Thank you, my dear. Send my thanks to the cook.” He said and Hunith smiled and nodded, walking back out but staying nearby. Gaius came soon after, just in time to hear a large thud.

“He’s ready.” Gaius whispered and they sneaked in. Gaius took out a feather tied to leather that he placed around Geoffrey’s neck. The man became feather-light and both Hunith and Gaius pulled him round the castle as if he weighed nothing.

Thrown into a cart, Gaius covered him with a sheet and Hunith got the horse to pull them away from Camelot.

“I wonder if Sir Leon will be able to take Merlin to the meeting point in time.” Hunith said with worry.

“They’ll both be fine, you’ll see Hunith.” Gaius said and held her hand. She smiled and nodded taking assurance from his words.

oOoOoOo

Merlin groaned as he opened his eyes, realising he was chained at the wrists. He tensed, looking back at the rider that held him onto the horse.

“Leon! What… what’s happening?” He asked.

“You have been sentenced to burn at the pyre for setting the dragon on the people of Camelot.” Another knight replied coldly.

“The king knows you are the last Dragon Lord.” Another said. Merlin looked up at Leon who nodded. Merlin looked at the other men.

“The king is a hypocrite!” Merlin said remembering Arthur’s words. “He used magic for Arthur to be conceived and when Queen Ygraine paid the price of that spell, he killed thousands of innocent people.” Merlin said.

“Merlin, what are you doing? Shh!” Leon whispered but Merlin didn’t stop.

“You’re following a murderer. The dragon can’t really be blamed for wanting revenge, but I did send him away when I became Dragon Lord. I never set him on Camelot!” Merlin exclaimed.

“You will be quiet, or I’ll cut out your tongue for what you’ve said about our king.” Another knight said, drawing his sword.

“Uther doesn’t deserve any respect. Arthur is the only one that deserves your respect. You’ve trained together, you’ve been to battle together. He would never leave a man behind if he could help it. Arthur is more worthy of being king than Uther is. He is honourable and just.” Merlin said.

“Arthur will be king in time.” Another said.

Merlin let the silence settle for a few seconds. “Arthur has declared war on Uther.” He announced. Leon froze, stopping the horse.

“He did what?” Leon asked, eyes wide looking down at Merlin.

“Arthur has escaped Camelot with his most trusted knights and Morgana. On his escape he ordered Uther to abdicate or he would bring war to Camelot.” Merlin said.

Another knight took out his own sword. “He’s enchanted prince Arthur! Arthur would never!” He said advancing on Merlin.

“You will not harm him.” Leon said.

“The king warned us about your wavering loyalties, sir Leon. No doubt you’re another victim of this monster!” Another said. Merlin raised his hands and they were knocked off their feet. Leon took the reins and began galloping at full pace away from the road to Camelot.

“They’re not dead, are they?” Leon asked.

“I don’t think so. Just a light shove.” Merlin said a bit out of breath.

“Are you alright?” Leon asked.

“Yeah… just tired.” Merlin said.

“Sleep, I’ll wake you when we reach the meeting point.” Leon said.

oOoOoOo

Arthur looked at the huge valley that they stopped in. Ideal for a battle, not really ideal for hiding from their father.

“Why did you want to stop here Morgana?” Arthur asked and Morgana chuckled, getting off the horse and walking down the field of wildflowers.

“This is where you’ll be married, dear brother!” She said proudly. Arthur stared at the meadow. There was a lake far off ahead, hills and forests to the right and a clear view of the horizon all the way to the East. As far as the eye could see, all he could see was flowers.

“You forget our father will likely come looking for us.” Arthur said.

“He won’t find us.” She said simply. “I’ve had allies cover our tracks. We will only be found by those who loyal to you.” She said.

“Allies?” Arthur asked. That’s when he noticed the people coming from the forest. Druids and sorcerers came by the hundreds from the forest.

“I present you the guests to your wedding.” Morgana said proudly. Arthur took a deep breath as he saw so many people.

“Morgana, you do remember I haven’t even apologised to Merlin yet?” Arthur hissed.

Morgana covered her mouth with a little gasp. “That’s right.” She patted him too hard on the shoulder. “Well, lets hope he forgives you, otherwise this is going to be pretty embarrassing for you.” She said brightly as she went to greet the elders of the druid tribes. Arthur looked up at the crescent moon, wondering if he even had a right to be forgiven. He had hope but as long as Merlin was safe, at this point he didn’t care about being embarrassed. Well, maybe he did, but he hoped he’d be forgiven.

oOoOoOo

Merlin began to wake up as they passed through the trees of the forest. Leon said he knew exactly where they were going. He was awoken by the sound of people being merry and looked up to see the largest magical community he’d ever seen. Children ran around chasing colours of light created by their parents for their amusement. Elders wove baskets at lightning speed with the aid of magic and some sprouted flowers and collected the petals on the completed baskets. The men helped set up a large tent in the middle of the clearing.

He spotted Morgana yelling orders while looking at some scrolls with a group of other elders from the magical community. Beside her, stood Arthur, watching the proceedings with interest and turned toward them.

When their eyes met, Merlin felt an electric shock that started his heart racing and squeezing in pain as he remembered Arthur holding onto Gwen like she was his only lifeline. And yet, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling happy to see him. Stupid prat.

He got off the horse and Arthur came closer but Morgana and Gaius came between them.

“Tut tut now, you two can’t talk or see each other before the wedding. It’s an old religion rule.” Morgana said.

“But…” Merlin looked over at Arthur as Gaius seemed to tell Arthur the same. Arthur shook his head and walked past Gaius.

“Oh hell.” Morgana turned to go stop Arthur. “You go with the women, Merlin!” She called and went to stop her brother. Merlin sighed and did as Morgana told him. He wasn’t ready to speak to Arthur yet.

He felt embarrassed for storming off like that, and revealing his Dragon Lord powers to Arthur. He had no right to be jealous when it was Arthur that was losing everything.

oOoOoOo

“You _kidnapped_ Geoffrey?” Arthur said horrified as the man stood outraged and confused at the scenery.

“Of course I did, we need the wedding to be official not only on magical terms but on legal terms.” Morgana said simply.

“What is the meaning of this, Prince Arthur?” Geoffrey asked horrified.

“Forgive us, Geoffrey, but we need you to officiate a wedding.” Arthur said politely. Geoffrey took a deep breath.

“Allow me to guess, you want me to marry you and Merlin off. Yes, I heard he’s pregnant, the cook won’t shut up about it!” Geoffrey said. Arthur pressed his lips hard to try and hide the amusement threatening to show, and turned to look for Merlin’s form across the valley, where the women were assembled. “I won’t do it! He’s a man!”

“Yes, normally he is, but right now, he’s a woman. So it’s not a problem.” Arthur said.

“There are other ways to legitimise your heir, your highness, you don’t have to _marry_ him!” Geoffrey said horrified.

“I don’t care about any other ways. I want to marry Merlin.” Arthur said. Geoffrey took a deep breath and shook his head.

“I don’t even have my paperwork to make it official.” He tried.

“Well, my friend, that’s were we come in. Here’s the book of marriages of the kingdom and the marriage scroll left blank for their names.” Gaius said. Geoffrey glared at Gaius for a second, taking the scroll and book before turning to Arthur.

“Fine, lets do this quickly then.”

“I’m afraid not, Geoffrey. The ceremony will begin tomorrow an hour before sunset.” Morgana said. “I’ll run over the details with you.” She said and pulled him along to the tent set at the centre of the meadow.

Finally, Arthur caught sight of Merlin. He was with Lancelot, both chatting merrily about one thing or other. The women druids coming to discuss things with Merlin. Probably asking him what colour he’d like the petals, how to do his hair, whether he’d been fitted for his dress yet.

“Merlin looks happy.” Gwaine said sipping on some wine beside him. Arthur wasn’t convinced he was. Merlin just looked resigned. Before Arthur could react, Gwaine grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him close so Arthur was inches away from him. “You _ever_ hurt him like that again, I’ll ensure this child is the only one you ever have.” He hissed hatefully and let go before the murderous hate faded into a warm smile. He patted him on the shoulder giving him the drink. “Drink my friend, it’s your stag night!” He said cheerfully.

Arthur looked at him nervously before taking a sip. Elyan approached him to his other side.

“Stay away from my sister, Arthur.” He said coldly and Arthur nodded. Elyan smiled and patted Arthur on the shoulder. Leon came in front of him.

“Merlin is a very good man, Arthur. Your actions were disappointing to say the least. Don’t make the same mistake again.” He said. Arthur almost felt like a child being scolded and although deserved, he felt very embarrassed and ashamed of his actions.

He nodded and turned to leave when Percival stopped him. Arthur prepared himself for what the other would say but nothing could have.

“When my wife and child were murdered by Cenred’s men, all I could think of was that we didn’t have enough time. I didn’t have enough time to kiss my wife and make her feel like she was the light of my life. I didn’t get enough time to hug my child and teach him how to farm, or fish, or defend himself. There wasn’t enough time. There will never be enough time, Arthur. You could be the happiest man alive, if you wanted.” The words moved Arthur and he had to forcefully swallow the emotion making his eyes glisten. Percival turned him round to face Merlin who was laughing as he made a few children amused with his magic. “I’m telling you now, you will never have enough time. It will never be enough. So treasure what you have, and never let go, never think of anyone but him and the happiness he’ll bring you. Never take him for granted again.” He finally said and let him go. Arthur was shaken to the core by those words. They made him want nothing more than to storm over there and pull Merlin aside and beg for his forgiveness and hold him close but Morgana wasn’t letting him cross over. Even Lancelot had been kicked out of the female side and was making his way back. He drank the wine and turned to the knights once more.

“Thank you.” He said. They gave him the small bow of the knights and things turned merrier as they laughed and pulled him along to celebrate his last night as a single man.

oOoOoOo

The rest of the night they were still parted into men and women, Merlin having to stay with the women as they drank and prepared him for the following day. Morgana ran over the itinerary and then a feast with food and drink followed. Merlin kept glancing over at the men’s side, as their boisterous laughs trailed over to their side. He huffed.

“They look like they’re having fun.” He said. “Can’t I go there?” He asked Morgana.

“No, the old religion dictates that you two shall be apart the night before your wedding. Certain blessings must be carried out and we must prepare you for your wedding night.” An elder druid said and Merlin blinked as they nodded.

“What about it?” He asked.

“Oh my dear, when you consummate your marriage. It’s the final part of the ceremony. Of course that will be in the privacy of the tent.” One of the younger women said and Merlin turned accusingly at the blasted tent.

So that’s why it was there!

“Don’t worry dear, we’ll all be too far away to hear anything.” Another said.

“Great.” Merlin said, his face as hot as a fever. He looked at his mother who held his hand tightly.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of.” She said but the grimace of more than half of the women there made him look around alarmed.

“What’s there to be afraid of? You told me the basics mom.” Merlin said stiffly.

“Yes but… that’s when you were a man. It’s different for a woman.” She said calmly.

“It could hurt if your husband is too impatient at first.” One said. “But it gets better after a few times.”

“A few!” Merlin squeaked and shook his head. Now he definitely wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

“And even though you’ve a child, it’s been conceived with magic, so you might still be… pure.” Morgana said. “But don’t worry, Arthur’s also getting the instruction he needs on his side of the meadow.” Morgana said.

oOoOoOo

Arthur sat mortified as the men went into detail of how to… well… you know. He’d heard the bragging of Gwaine and other knights in their many trips, but nothing could have prepared him to be forced to sit through this detailed discussion. Despite what his handsome features might make others believe, he’d remained chaste to this day, as it was drilled into him by every teacher he’d ever had, specially his father while he was growing up. He said the risk of having a bastard was too great and could be detrimental for the kingdom. Another hypocritical lesson from the king.

“She may struggle a little, but just tell her to relax, for some it’s natural that it hurts the first time.” One man said.

“Sometimes, though, they can’t relax and you have to wait for them to be ready, but when it does happen it’s not any easier.” Another said. Arthur almost felt sick.

oOoOoOo

“You’ll probably bleed, but don’t be worried, it’s never as bad as it seems, unless he’s too brutal, that is.” Another said and Merlin felt panic begin to set in.

“I’m… feeling dizzy. Mom, I really should lie down. “ Merlin said.

“Of course darling, come over.” She said gently and helped him find the furs that had been laid out for him. It was in between a circle of staffs decorated in magical trinkets. His mother pet his cheek and she leaned in to kiss his forehead. “Don’t worry Merlin. I’ll speak to Arthur. I don’t trust those men to tell him anything constructive.” She whispered. Merlin sighed with relief but also mortified.

“Why did I run away? Why am I so angry with him?” He whispered.

“You’re hurt because you love him.” Hunith said gently. Merlin shook his head. “At some point you’ll admit it to yourself. Sleep now. I’ll try and get to Arthur.” She said.

“Tell him he’s a clot pole.” He said and Hunith only laughed softly.

As he lay on the furs, Morgana came with the elders and all of them began chanting words of protection. It was with their prayers that Merlin was lulled to sleep.

oOoOoOo

Arthur managed to sneak away from the drunken men and sighed with relief as he tried to sneak his way to Merlin. If they’d been telling him crazy things like what he’d just heard he wouldn’t be surprised if Merlin took the first chance he took to run away. Even Gwaine looked horrified by what he was hearing. But then again, he’d confessed he’d never been with a woman that was pure so he’d never come across their horror stories. Gaius and Geoffrey had escaped first chance they got and left them to suffer. The knights stayed out of sheer loyalty.

Arthur sneaked around the tent and bumped into someone. “Hunith!” He whispered.

“Oh thank god. Arthur, what have they been telling you?” She asked.

“Never mind that! How’s Merlin! I certainly hope he hasn’t heard the terrifying things I just heard.” He said trying to glance over her shoulder but she pulled him back to look at her.

“He has, unfortunately. Poor thing, he went to bed three shades pale.” She said.

“Hunith, tell him I would never hurt him. Nor force him to do _anything_ , spell or not.” Arthur said firmly. She smiled and pet his cheek.

“Calm down, dear.”

Arthur nodded as he took a deep breath. He hadn’t even felt Merlin’s lips against his own. How was he supposed to consummate the marriage with the looming fear that he would hurt him? She made him look up again.

“Now… _just_ in case. I feel it my duty to teach you.” She said. Arthur cringed and prepared himself for another wreckage. “Just take your time. Make sure you’re both enjoying things. It’s a union of both your lives, not just your bodies.” She said calmly in a way that did actually begin to calm Arthur down slowly. “As long as you make sure Merlin is relaxed and happy to continue, it will work out well.” She said simply.

Arthur looked down and nodded. “Thank you, Hunith.” He said softly.

“Oh my child.” She whispered cupping his cheek. “Your mother would be _so_ proud of you.” She said gently, caressing his cheek. Arthur felt his eyes burning and he had to look down as he couldn’t stop the tears this time.

“She wouldn’t.” He whispered.

Hunith forced him to look up. “I know so. No mother could _ever_ not be proud of the man you are. Now that I’ve known you, I don’t think I could ever trust my Merlin onto anyone else.” She said softly. “Remember this Arthur, no man is without his faults. A man who believes he is perfect is the faultiest of all. All you can do is strive to be better each day and you’ll have nothing to regret in life.” She said gently.

Arthur smiled and laughed softly. “I see where Merlin gets his wisdom.”

“It’s definitely from me.” She said, smiling and giving him a peck on the cheek. “Now go back. You’ll see him tomorrow.”

Arthur shook his head. “I have to speak to him… I haven’t even apologised.”

“Tomorrow… who knows if breaking these rules might ruin the ceremony.” Hunith said and Arthur sighed and nodded. He turned back to find the knights. However, a new trial awaited him as he returned to the fire.

The knights sat like small children who’d been scolded while the elders stood, one of them, wearing a horned crown of bone.

“It’s a good thing you have returned, young Pendragon. You’re almost out of time.” The horned elder said, receiving a bowl from another elder. “Remove your shirt.” He said. Arthur glanced at the knights who looked at him wide-eyed and unsure of what was really happening. He’d promised Merlin a wedding in the old religion, so he would oblige. Arthur turned to the elder and removed his shirt.

“Kneel.” Another commanded. Arthur did so and looked up at the elder.

“Arthur Pendragon, crown prince of Camelot, Once and Future king of Avalon.” Arthur didn’t have time to question how he knew of that prophecy. He assumed the dragon must have heard it from the druids. “You are to unite tomorrow your body and soul with the Warlock Merlin as you’ve known him, Emrys as he’s been known to us for hundreds of years. You will take him as yours and protect him from all for the end of time?” The wording of that question was a bit strange but Arthur nodded.

“I will.”

“Emrys is a creature of magic, such unions require a test.” He began to chant rites of the old religion. He dipped his finger into the bowl, which came back out covered in blood. Arthur didn’t move as the man began to draw runes on his body, which made his skin feel warm. The last smear of blood was across his forehead and the elder handed him a sharp, double-sided knife. “With only this knife you must go into the forest and hunt the biggest creature you can find before the moon reaches its zenith.” He said. Arthur looked at the knife. He was a brilliant hunter, but only a knife? He looked down before nodding. He grabbed the knife and stood up. He looked at his knights and nodded at them to stay put, before making his way into the forest.

oOoOoOo

Merlin shuddered as he turned in his sleep. His eyes opened and he gasped loudly, his chest arching up off the floor, his eyes glowing bright gold.

“Merlin?! Merlin!” Hunith yelled and ran to Merlin but Morgana grabbed her.

“Stop, it’s part of the test.” Morgana hissed in her ear.

“Agh!” Merlin tensed, shaking his head, struggling against something that no one could see.

Merlin finally dropped, lax onto the ground, staring up at the moon, as if staring far away. His eyes remained glowing their molten gold.

oOoOoOo

Arthur walked for hours in the dark, the crescent moon allowing minimal light despite the partly bare autumn trees. He kept looking up to make sure the moon hadn’t moved faster than he expected.

As the minutes passed, then an hour, Arthur’s heart felt heavier. He hadn’t come across a single creature, small or large to kill.

This was a test of the old religion. He had no idea how or even if you do pray to the gods of the old religion but he looked up at the moon imploringly. “Please… please send me something.” He whispered.

He heard the snap of a twig beside him and froze as he stared at a glowing golden stag. The most magnificent feast Arthur had ever seen. Its horns were grown to an unimaginable size. The beast was the finest game Arthur had seen in his life, even after the unicorn. It was golden and glowed faintly in the night.

The beast began to walk past him as if he hadn’t seen him, illuminating the area it walked across. It was so beautiful, his heart squeezed painfully at the thought of slaying it. He gripped the knife harder. But he had to. He stepped closer to the best and it suddenly turned to look up at him.

oOoOoOo

_Merlin turned to look at Arthur and frowned, confused to see him shirtless, covered in blood-made runes and brandishing a small knife as he approached._

_“No… Arthur…” He whimpered, tears in his eyes._

oOoOoOo

The beast had seen him. It was now or never! Arthur ran toward the beast, grabbed onto its horn to stop it running and brought the knife high…

_Merlin looked up at him, horrified as he cradled the unicorn’s head._

_“How could you!”_

Arthur’s eyes widened and he paused, his fingers loosening on the knife. He stepped back, staring at the creature as it simply looked at him. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. He looked up at the moon. It was almost at its zenith. He looked at the creature one more time before backing away. He had failed.

oOoOoOo

Merlin gasped waking up, tears trailing down the sides of his face. He turned over, crying loudly into the furs, overwhelmed with emotion of the creature he’d resided in only briefly. He’d been within a god for a few brief seconds.

He heard whispers of, “Poor thing.” “The Pendragon boy must have failed.”

Merlin didn’t have a voice to argue, too overwhelmed with the sensations to turn back around.

oOoOoOo

He arrived back to the camp, his nerves settling in. What did this mean for the wedding?

“No game, young Pendragon? We were led to believe you were the best hunter there was.” The elder said.

“There was a stag.” Arthur said simply. “I couldn’t kill it.” He came closer to the elder but soon the elders gasped and dropped to their knees.

Arthur looked confused. He looked at the knights. Gwaine motioned for him to turn around. Arthur turned to see the stag follow him out of the forest.

“The horned god has come to bless the wedding. We are most honoured.” The elder said and Arthur turned, shocked at the creature. He looked at the knights then at the elders. Arthur turned to the god and kneeled before him. The creature seemed pleased with his humility and walked further into the valley, going to nestle on patch of white flowers by the tent and curl up for sleep.

oOoOoOo

Merlin knelt on the furs as he looked at the creature and his heart raced, turning to Arthur, smiling proudly as he was patted on the back by the druids and the knights. He wished he could go there and congratulate him himself.

Even his mother became overwhelmed with emotion as she saw the majestic creature appear and make its way to the side of the lake. Morgana sobbed from where she knelt and whispered thanks to the old religion.

“Arthur didn’t fail.” Morgana whispered. “He passed.” She said softly.

Everyone fell asleep on that happy note. By morning the creature was gone, but he was in everyone’s spirits because the morning began lively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for sticking with it so far!  
> Here's a slightly longer episode as thanks.
> 
> PS: Please review, it keeps the author hydrated.


	13. Chapter 13

Merlin woke up without a worry in the world. The fears he had were knocked to the back of his mind. For some reason, not for lack of trying, his worries wouldn’t come to him.

The elders said it was because of the horned god’s presence in the wedding. He was most blessed to have been chosen by the horned god, or that’s what they had said.

The test usually transported the bride in spirit to the creature to be slain, but no one here had ever been lucky enough to be chosen by the god. Merlin didn’t grow up with these superstitions, so although he felt the god’s protection, he wasn’t as emotional as the women in the camp. He had to admit he was surprised that Arthur had allowed such a magnificent beast pass. If there was one thing Arthur was passionate about was hunting, and Merlin actually thought Arthur had by now forgotten the dangers about killing magical creatures. The unicorn had been so long ago. He paused as he remembered the conviction in Arthur’s eyes fading into guilt. He wondered what Arthur had remembered just before trying to kill the god.

“Morgana, can I invite Kilgharrah?” Merlin asked. Morgana turned to him, baskets upon baskets of blue flower petals piled together, ready to be spread out by the girls.

“The great dragon at your wedding, I’m so happy to see you finally getting into it!” She said.

Merlin huffed. “ _No!_ Maybe if Arthur sees Kilgharrah and realises exactly what he’s marrying he’ll change his mind before it’s too late.” Merlin said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Merlin felt Morgana’s hand on his shoulder. “That’s not going to happen, Merlin. The gods of the old religion want this, Merlin. Why are you so stubborn about it?” She asked.

Merlin looked away, toward Arthur’s side, where he could see the unmistakable golden head getting pulled about by the men from one side to another getting one thing or other ready.

“Because only two months ago, to him, I was just his idiot manservant.” Merlin said and looked at Morgana, daring her to reply but she didn’t, shaking her head instead and going off to continue the preparations.

Merlin stepped further away from the group and looked up at the sky.

oOoOoOo

_“O, Dragarn! E male, soi ftengometta tesd’hup anakess!”_

Arthur heard the words clear as day, the powerful roar of Merlin’s effeminate voice resonating in the valley. The dragon flew in within very little time and Arthur had to fight back the urge to reach for his sword as he saw the animal lower its head toward Merlin.

“Merlin never ceases to amaze, does he.” Lancelot said softly.

“He’s definitely never one to disappoint.” Gwaine said amused while Leon, Percival and Elyan just stared at the beast with wide eyes, bodies tense and as ready to reach for their swords as Arthur.

A small gasp behind them made Arthur turn around. Gwen was standing there, staring at the dragon with wide eyes. She held a box in her hands. The horse she must have come in standing just by the trees.

“Gwen?” Arthur asked surprised. His heart squeezed painfully but he tried to ignore that feeling. He had to forget that feeling of longing he held for Gwen. They weren’t meant to be. They both knew it.

“Sire.” She said simply, giving a small curtsy, smiling sadly at him. Arthur sensed the knights becoming tense beside him and came closer to Gwen. “Morgana ordered these for you.” She said. Arthur reached down to open the box and stared at its contents. The pain in his heart softened and he smiled warmly at the gift.

“Thank you Guinevere.” Arthur said and Gwen nodded looking down as she stared at the gift.

“I wish you every happiness, Arthur.” She said and walked away, toward Morgana. Arthur watched her go and turned to Merlin, staring at his friend for the longest of times before Percival came to drag him off to the elders.

oOoOoOo

Merlin watched Gwen with Morgana and looked down, finally gathering the courage to go up to his old friend.

“Merlin, you look beautiful.” Gwen said and Merlin grimaced, hating the term. He had so many flowers in his hair after sitting an hour with the women.

“The price of beauty… seriously, do you know how many bees have almost stung me already?” Merlin asked. Gwen laughed. For a second it sent Merlin back to long before Gwen and Arthur were together. Long before Arthur was more than just tolerable. When it had just been Gwen as his friend in the castle. Merlin smiled and he looked down guilty. “Gwen… listen I-”

“I could never compete with you Merlin. I’m glad this happened.” She cut him off. Merlin looked up shaking his head at her ridiculous set of words.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin whispered. Gwen simply smiled and went to help Morgana with some thing or other.

oOoOoOo

As the mid-day meal passed, things began to get more frantic. Morgana was impatiently throwing orders around and Merlin felt like he was being pulled here and there.

Merlin had to admit. When Arthur asked him to elope, he’d hoped the whole ordeal would have been a bit less stressful.

Soon it was time and Morgana brought out his dress. It was a stunning white dress that seemed to sparkle with the light alone. No doubt it cost a fortune.

“Morgana… how did you get money for all of this?” He whispered.

“I used Uther’s gold.” Morgana said simply.

“Camelot’s gold?” Merlin asked horrified. Morgana laughed.

“No, _Uther’s_ gold. From his private reserve.” She said, helping him into the dress, tying it at the back. Merlin felt a mean gleam of delight knowing that Uther’s own pocket was paying for Arthur’s wedding.

“Morgana…”

“Hmm?” She tugged on the corset but didn’t tighten it excessively.

“Thank you, for coming back.” Merlin said softly. Morgana froze for a second before continuing to prepare him with the help of Gwen and the other women. His hair was brushed and decorated with yet more fresh flowers, which Merlin found unnecessary. He didn’t feel, nor need to feel, pretty and he was sure Arthur wouldn’t appreciate the effort.

“I had a vision.” She said. “I didn’t want to miss it.” She said without further explanation and Merlin frowned.

“What was it?” He asked. She chuckled and didn’t answer. She looked at the sun. It was rather low on the horizon. “Is it time?” Merlin asked.

“It’s time.” Morgana said.

oOoOoOo

Merlin couldn’t think straight. Everything seemed like a dream. Everything was so beautiful. But it was all so wrong. It should be Gwen in the dress, Gwen being pampered and praised for the match. Merlin couldn’t look up as he was led down a long trail of blue petals that went to the edge of the lake.

He couldn’t bear to look up and see Gwen amongst the guests, or see Arthur’s eyes seeking hers out.

“Merlin.” Merlin jumped, startled by Gaius who came to hold his hand. Merlin forced a smile. “Don’t look like that, Merlin. You will be happy if you only let yourself be.” Merlin didn’t respond. He knew no argument could persuade anyone about their firm belief that Merlin and Arthur have supposedly been in love forever, which was not true, and that this was how they were meant to be, which was ridiculous.

“Thank you, Gaius.” He said softly and finally dared to look at Arthur.

oOoOoOo

Arthur felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw Merlin, coming closer, led by Gaius. He was so stunning. He hadn’t seen Merlin in such fine things since Morgana dressed him up that one time for dinner with Uther. It made Arthur want to know what he’d look like dressed like a noble Lord. Would he look happier? More comfortable?

Again, despite what he had often teased him about, Merlin actually made a pretty terrible girl.

His heart began to race as he realised he was about to marry whom he’d considered for the longest of times to be his dearest friend.

The musicians among the druids played music and beat the skin of the drums in a slow rhythmic sound. Strings were plucked and wooden flutes were made to enchant them all with their sound alone.

oOoOoOo

Merlin stared back at Arthur who stood at the end of the petal trail, by the lake. He looked nervous. Merlin would have teased him had his mind not been occupied by Gwen.

Thoughts of her began fading to the back of his mind as he saw that gentle look on Arthur’s eyes the closer he came. It was the same look he’d seen more and more in the past weeks. Arthur never tried to hide it when he was caught. It was as if he never realised he was looking at Merlin like he was something precious. It made Merlin’s heart skip inexplicably. Merlin would call it friendship, a close bond from all their adventures together, nothing more. But now?

Merlin looked at Gwen who was looking at him with a sad look in her eyes but a smile. Merlin gulped and looked at Arthur who had yet to turn to her. Soon, he was within Arthur’s reach.

Gaius squeezed his hand and smiled at Merlin, bringing his hand over Arthur’s, cupping them both with his aged hands and letting go. Merlin felt Arthur’s thumb caress his hand. It didn’t feel right. He wanted to say so, but something stopped him.

His destiny was to be by Arthur’s side and help him become the best king there ever was and ever will be. Arthur gave his hand a gentle squeeze and Merlin looked away from Arthur’s gentle blue eyes, focusing on Morgana as she approached, Geoffrey of Monmouth beside her.

Geoffrey began reciting the official promises of love and devotion and Merlin just let the words wash over him. He couldn’t really register what was being said.

Arthur eventually turned to Merlin, their hands still held together. “I, Arthur Pendragon, do take you, Merlin, Emrys,” Merlin flinched from surprise, hearing Arthur say his other name. “to be my partner in life, and love forever more. I vow to protect you with my life, to care for you in your ills… and be loyal, from now until the end of time.” Arthur said.

Merlin couldn’t understand how Arthur didn’t stutter at all saying that to him, his manservant, his friend, his… what _was_ he?

“Merlin.” Morgana whispered.

Merlin opened his mouth and closed it again, looking at their held hands. He tried to pull it back but Arthur’s hand squeezed his tighter. Not enough to hurt. It grounded him and he closed his eyes, looking up at Arthur.

“I, Merlin… Emrys, do take you… Arthur Pendragon.” The feel of Arthur’s name on his tongue sent a wave of energy down Merlin’s spine. “to be my partner in life, and love forever more. I vow to protect you with my life, to care for you in your ills and be loyal... from now until the end of time.” The words were said with more ease than he expected.

Then again, most of it had been what he’d been doing already.

Geoffrey led Arthur and Merlin to sign their names in the registry. Arthur let go of his hand to sign his name on the book and larger on the scroll. He turned to Merlin and handed him the quill. Merlin leaned down and paused. What name was he supposed to use? He looked at Arthur’s name, written neatly to one side.

He leaned down and started writing.

_Merlin Pendragon_

He turned to Arthur who seemed to be focusing on Merlin’s writing quite intensely, taking a deep breath. Merlin put down the quill, assuming Arthur was trying to process having to marry Merlin of all people.

Arthur reached down and took back his hand, walking Merlin back to where they’d stood before.

“Enter the lake.” Morgana said.

“Morgana, it’s the fall. Merlin shouldn’t step into that temperature.” Arthur said.

“It’ll be quick. Listen to the high priestess.” She whispered with mock annoyance and Merlin nodded at Arthur, groaning at how cold the water was as they entered. They turned to face Morgana who came before them and took a golden cord out. “With this golden cord I bind thee together in life, in death, in life after death. Two sides of the same coin. Two halves of the same whole.” Morgana said.

Merlin snapped his eyes up at that. Morgana bound both their hands and wrists with it, muttering incantations of the old religion while Merlin glanced at Kilgharrah who gave a faint nod. Merlin’s face heated up, realising the similarities with what the dragon had told him long ago.

His teeth began clattering together and Arthur simply gave his hand a squeeze, rubbing it with his thumb to warm him up somehow.

“With this knot, you are bound together forever more.” Morgana said. The cord glowed faintly and vanished, leaving the warmth of its presence on their hands.

They stepped back out and Geoffrey finished the ceremony. Gwen came forth holding something in front of her. Merlin glanced between Arthur and her and saw a sad, understanding in their eyes.

She brought with her Arthur’s crown as crown prince, the ring decorated in rubies that Arthur would normally wear for all official ceremonies and celebrations back in Camelot. Beside it sat another piece similar in style to Arthur’s with blue sapphires instead of rubies.

“Gwen brought these from Camelot.” Morgana said and Merlin didn’t know what he could possibly say. “I had yours specially ordered, Merlin.”

“Ordered? It hasn’t been that long since we decided on the wedding, when did you have time to order one?” Merlin asked and she tapped her lips with her finger but revealed nothing, again.

Geoffrey cleared his throat and they turned their attention back to him, kneeling before him. “You are now, husband and... husband…” He said still uncertain and turned to Arthur placing the band on his head. “Arthur Pendragon, crown Prince of Camelot.” He turned to Merlin who stared at the band like it might combust into flames any second now. “Merlin Pendragon through this marriage, I now pronounce you a prince of Camelot.” Merlin felt the heavy band of precious metal and stones slide onto his head, sitting around his forehead proudly.

A few seconds of silence followed as they stood straight and the whole crowd erupted into cheers and applause. Merlin’s heart began to settle and he looked at his and Arthur’s joined hands. He was married to Arthur. Arthur was his partner for life. His destiny was now _legally_ bound to him. Merlin’s destiny was also leaning his face toward him.

They were friends. It was a friends’ kiss. Merlin kept telling himself that over and over again while they bridged the distance between them.

Merlin let his eyes flutter shut as he once more felt the sensation that had been haunting him since he had flown away on Kilgharrah. Arthur’s warm breath on his lips didn’t stop just above them this time. They pressed on Merlin’s own. The softness of the other’s lips made his knees almost buckle.

Arthur pulled back, hands on Merlin’s shoulders, looking at Merlin as perplexed as Merlin was probably looking at him.

“Now we celebrate!” Morgana cheered and the upbeat music picked up.

They both looked away from each other and were pulled towards the celebrations. The knights came to congratulate both Arthur and Merlin. Merlin kept trying to see if Arthur and Gwen would sneak off at any moment but neither really spoke to each other alone. Gwen would either stay with Elyan or Lancelot.

Wine was given around and the feast began. Merlin stayed clear of the wine for now, finding it heavier and heavier on his stomach as the child grew within him but he still enjoyed himself. It was late into the night that Morgana hinted that they should be heading off to the blasted tent and they made their way there together in silence, while the celebrations carried on behind them.

The sound of crickets filled the silence, and a cool breeze swept past. The wind made a pattern across the vast field, showing how it caressed the valley from one side to the next.

“Am I forgiven?” Arthur asked as they walked.

Merlin looked at him. “Interesting question because _I_ didn’t hear any apology.” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him with that look in his eyes and Merlin looked away, pretending to focus on the path ahead. “I’m the one that should be sorry, Arthur. For the pain I’ve caused you.” Merlin said. He entered the tent first. The thing looked huge from the outside and it certainly was. It looked just about half as big as Arthur’s room. Of course, to the other the place probably looked small.

There was a desk and chairs with food and more wine. Merlin peeked through the hanging cloths of silk to the side and swiftly pretended he didn’t notice that it was the bedroom by making his way hurriedly to the table and forcing himself to try the grapes.

“You didn’t do anything.” Arthur said. Merlin thanked the gods that Arthur didn’t notice his behaviour and simply continued their conversation.

“How do you know?” Merlin asked looking at him. “I could have orchestrated this whole mess myself. After all, all magic is evil according to you.” He said.

“Your mother told me you made petals rain on her when she cried at your birth.” Arthur said softly. Merlin looked intently at Arthur.

“I don’t remember that far back.” He said.

“It must have been quite a beautiful sight to behold.” Arthur said and reached to hold Merlin’s hand. Merlin looked up at Arthur as their fingers were thread together and he leaned in.

“What are you doing?” Merlin whispered, his heart racing, keeping him still.

“Kissing my husband.” Arthur whispered. Merlin felt his stomach flip on its head as Arthur’s lips pressed on his own, his eyes fluttering shut once more.

As the kiss broke, Merlin looked away, but Arthur didn’t move back. Instead, Merlin gasped feeling Arthur’s hand on his waist. One hand reached round to his back and pulled him firmly closer to Arthur’s body. A spark of fear crept into Merlin’s body as he felt Arthur’s strength in that firm hold.

Oh god. This was it. The nightmare the women had described to him. He couldn’t do this with Arthur! He was about to say just as much when he felt Arthur’s breath on the sensitive skin of his neck, pressing a kiss just over his pulse, which, for sure, Arthur must have felt. A very slow electric current went down his stomach and settled between his legs. He moaned.

Arguments became garbled in his head, the strength to push Arthur away vanished and all that was left was the question of what else could Arthur make him feel?

Even if he could, would he push Arthur away? He’d already denied him the love of his life, could he deny him the one thing he could give him as Arthur’s wife while he was still a woman?

Arthur’s fingers gave Merlin’s hips a soft squeeze as he made Merlin turn back to look at him, kissing him firmly once more. Merlin couldn’t stop the need to want more and began to kiss Arthur back holding onto Arthur’s shirt as they stood in the middle of the tent.

Merlin wasn’t sure when they passed into the bedroom side of the tent. He only realised where they were as Arthur buried his face against his neck once more and reached round higher. Merlin shuddered as he felt Arthur untying the ribbons on the back, pressing his mouth firmer against his neck whenever the dress would get difficult to pull on. Merlin felt the purposeful brush of Arthur’s teeth on his shoulder and trembled.

“A-arthur, wait…” The dress dropped and Merlin reached up to cover himself.

Arthur chuckled. “Now you’re bashful? What happened to ‘we’re both men, Arthur.’ ‘What does it matter, Arthur?’ ‘It’s just me, Arthur.’, hmm?” He teased and Merlin felt heat on his face.

“Well that’s different! I never imagined you’d ever look at me like…” Merlin caught onto what he was saying and looked away even more embarrassed.

“Like what?” Arthur asked, his voice deeper, laced with something dangerous that Merlin had never heard before. A fire burned in his eyes as he let tips of his fingers trail down his shoulder, down the side of his body, pass his waist, come round to his back and tease his way back up. A stupid, self-satisfied smirk on his face whenever Merlin couldn’t stop himself from shuddering or leaning into the touch. “Merlin.” Arthur whispered. Merlin was no coward and met the other’s eyes head on. “How am I looking at you?” Arthur whispered.

“…” Merlin kept looking, trying to find a way to describe it. “Like you want to eat me.” Merlin said no higher than Arthur. Arthur smirked softly in that endearing way that Merlin secretly adored.

“Undress me.” Arthur said. Merlin stared at Arthur and began to lower his hands. Arthur broke eye-contact then, looking down at Merlin’s body and suddenly Merlin felt more self-conscious than ever before. He reached forward and began to pull Arthur’s shirt up. He figured two could play this game and made his fingers also trail their way up Arthur’s body. By the time the shirt went over Arthur’s head and fell to the side, Arthur’s eyes had darkened and that look had only intensified. Merlin reached to untie the other’s trousers, while still maintaining eye contact with Arthur.

He wasn’t sure what made Arthur snap, but seconds later Arthur had pulled him into a desperate round of kisses as they began to descent onto the furs. When Merlin felt the softness along his back and the feel of Arthur’s firm body over him, the feel of his firm grip followed by teasing caresses and even more torturous licks to his neck, he let go completely. He let himself be immersed in the sensations coursing through his body as he held Arthur closer, and kissed him back just as feverishly.

It didn’t hurt, it wasn’t torture, but it wasn’t easy. Arthur started slow, distracting him with kisses and nibbles and whispered nothings that Merlin barely heard. “Relax, Merlin.” Arthur’s strained voice whispered against his neck.

“I’m fine…” Merlin lied, and cried out as Arthur tried to continue. Arthur pulled back far enough to look at him, a frown on his face.

“Should I stop?” He asked, looking already out of breath from holding himself back, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. Merlin licked his lips as he shook his head.

“No… don’t.” He whispered, reaching up, pulling the other back down, kissing him deeply. Arthur held him close. As their bodies began to rock together, they slowly became one under the embrace of night.


	14. Chapter 14

The morning found Merlin and Arthur staring at the beams holding the tent up, trying to process the changes between them. They’d managed a decent amount of sleep, but that made no difference to the awkwardness of waking up with full memories of the night before.

“So…”

“Um…” Both said simultaneously but immediately stopped talking, grateful that the other had thought of something to say. But neither ended up saying anything.

“What have we done?” Merlin said softly.

“It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?” Arthur said and turned to glance at each other. They quickly looked away. They both started snickering and laughing softly on the furs. When they calmed down they turned to each other, Arthur on his stomach, Merlin on his side, leaning into one of the pillows. “That wasn’t as bad as I expected.” Arthur admitted.

Merlin felt his face heat up intensely and pulled the covers higher to cover his face. “It wasn’t what I was expecting either.” He said.

“Well, I never thought I’d ever see you blushing like a love-struck maiden.” Arthur joked trying to pull the furs down.

“Hah! You wish. You’re still a prat in my book!” Merlin said, smacking Arthur’s hand away and throwing the white under gown lying nearby hurriedly over his head. Suddenly feeling embarrassed of Arthur seeing any part of him. He heard Arthur moving behind him and turned his back to him, used to it by now.

Arthur’s hands came to his shoulders. Merlin jumped and turned looking up at him, nervous. Arthur laughed softly. “Calm down Merlin, I’m not going to do anything.” Arthur said, just looking at Merlin, confusion in his face that reminded Merlin of when they first kissed. Merlin was grateful Arthur had at least slipped his trousers back on.

“Arthur… it was only a handful of weeks ago that you’d still push me around for waking you up, messing up your armour, ruining your schedule or being impertinent or disappearing randomly without warning, or…”

“I was there, I suffered through it.” Arthur said and Merlin glared at him.

“ _…but!_ Now we’re married? And we… did all that!” Merlin couldn’t get rid of the heat on his face as Arthur turned to where he was pointing, the furs lying innocently on the ground.

“Do you regret it?” Arthur asked and Merlin had to look away, crossing his arms in front of him.

“I didn’t say that.” He mumbled and Arthur made Merlin turn to look at him and leaned in for a kiss. It was short but it still made Merlin’s stomach turn upside down. “I bet you won’t want to kiss me when I have the child and turn back into a man.” Merlin said.

Arthur pretended to think about it, amusement in his face. “We’ll still be married. So we’re stuck with each other either way. Our child will call me father and will call you mother.” He teased.

“Ah yes, there’s that.” Merlin said grimacing and Arthur chuckled looking down at his hand and removed his mother’s ring. He pulled Merlin’s hand over and slipped it onto his index finger. “Arthur… I can’t.” He shook his head and Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Merlin, will you just shut up?” He said and as Merlin looked up Arthur smirked. There was the prat he knew.

“Get dressed so we can eat some breakfast.” He said, slipping away from Arthur’s hold. He made his way to grab Arthur’s shirt, throwing it to the crown prince while making his way to the table.

“Merlin, I’m sorry.” Arthur said softly.

Merlin frowned. “About what?” He asked grabbing from the remaining food of the night before.

“I didn’t mean what I said, to Gwen.” Merlin realised what Arthur was saying and looked away. “I just said what I thought Gwen wanted to hear.” He said.

“Because you love her.” Merlin nodded, understanding.

“Because I was confused about my feelings for you, actually.”

“Confused? What was there to be confused about? I’m not going to be a woman forever, if that was what was confusing you.” Merlin said.

“I was confused because my feelings for you haven’t changed at all.” Arthur stated and Merlin looked up at him. “They haven’t changed at all, I still find you as irritating as I always have.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Yet, you were always the man I trusted the most.” Merlin scoffed and rolled his eyes at that. Yeah right. “Except now… now I’ve actually started looking at you and you’re… you always make me laugh, you make me angry, you fill me with hope when I think all is lost, everyone’s told me you protect me constantly and you make me feel _alive_.” Arthur said and reached across the table to hold his hand. “I don’t have words for what I feel for you yet but… it’s strong, Merlin.” He admitted.

Merlin felt heat strike his face as he opened and closed his mouth again and again, frowning, shaking his head.

“No, no. You love Gwen, I know you do, I saw the way you kissed her, held her, I heard what you _said_.” Merlin insisted.

“I was a coward, Merlin. I was scared because of what I was feeling. I was scared of the possibility that I may actually have cared for you far longer than I’ve been with Gwen except I never realised it because you were a man!”

“I’ll be a man again, Arthur, and then these confusing feelings will go away and then what will happen to me?” Merlin said.

“You’ll still be my husband.” He said reaching again to hold his hands. “You will be by my side for the rest of our lives, helping me raise our child together in a kingdom that is just, where everyone can feel safe. Including those that practice and are born with magic.” He declared passionately.

Merlin looked at their joined hands and closed his eyes as Arthur kissed him again. He wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to the twisting feeling it caused in his heart every time. “Fine, I accept the apology.” He said. “Now let me feed your child.” Arthur smiled and let go of his hands so Merlin could carry on with breakfast.

“There’s one other thing I want to apologise for.” Arthur said.

Merlin looked at him as he took another bite of bread and cheese. “I’ll probably remind you of many more at one point or other.” He joked laughing softly. Arthur didn’t laugh but did smile faintly, sadly.

“I’m sorry I told you that your father wasn’t worth your tears.” That wiped all humour from Merlin’s face.

“You didn’t know.” Merlin managed to say.

“I wish you’d told me… then I wouldn’t have been such an idiot.” Arthur said softly. “But I understand why you didn’t at the time.” He said. “I’m sorry you didn’t get much time with your father.”

“I’m sorry yours is the man he is.” Merlin said softly. Arthur sighed disappointed before nodding and reaching to give Merlin’s shoulder a firm squeeze like he always used to do and then proceeded to start to eat.

It wasn’t long before Leon came inside, followed by the knights.

“We apologise for disturbing you, sires.” Merlin almost choked at the new title.

“That’s alright, sir Leon. What is it?” Arthur asked. Merlin looked at them, wondering what on earth had the knights looking so serious.

“One of the elders managed to intercept a messenger dove. It’s from Camelot. It was likely heading to one of the Lords that have declared for Camelot in the past.” Leon said gravely.

Arthur took the message and paced the tent as he read what the message said. “It’s a call to arms.” Arthur said, looking at Merlin. “Well, my father has made it clear what route he’s taking in this matter.” He said tossing the letter by the food. Merlin reached for the letter. It was calling all Lords to declare for the king and gather their men against his treasonous son and daughter.

“A bit much, calling a whole army when we’re only eight.” Merlin said.

“About that… you should probably come outside as soon as you can, princess.” Gwaine said, trying to contain his grin as he addressed Arthur.

They both quickly got ready and moved to leave the tent. “Oh, you’re forgetting something, Merlin.” Arthur said stopping him. Merlin turned to see Arthur lowering the sapphire crown onto Merlin’s head.

“It’s heavy.” Merlin grumbled and Arthur chuckled.

“You get used to it.” He said.

Merlin gasped at the sight that awaited them. Thousands of men, dressed in Camelot’s armour waited, arranged over the flower meadow, led by their respective knights.

“How many men?” Arthur asked softly.

“Three thousand men have left the King to join your side, Arthur.” Lancelot said. Arthur stared at the arranged troops.

“Three thousand? That’s almost half the army.” Merlin knew Arthur would get those who would follow him but… he didn’t think they’d come round so easily at first.

“How did they find us?” Arthur asked.

“I left them a way to find you.” Morgana said coming to stand beside Merlin. Arthur nodded slowly as he stared at the men.

“Then war it is.” Arthur said softly. “Call on all the houses also. See who they respond to.” He said.

“Is the king mad? You have a Dragon Lord on your side.” Percival said.

“He doesn’t even know that Merlin is also a warlock.” Gaius said with a frown as he approached.

“Father will do what he can to stop me claiming my child as heir.” Arthur said.

“Oh, the king is going to have me executed when he realises you two are already married.” Geoffrey said taking a seat on a boulder.

Merlin placed a hand over his stomach, feeling the warmth of magic underneath.

“Are you alright, Merlin?” Arthur asked softly. Merlin looked at him for a moment and nodded.

“Fine… I’m fine, sire.” He said gently.

“Oh dear.” Morgana chuckled.

“You’re going to have to get out of that habit, Merlin.” Gwaine teased.

Merlin felt himself blush a little and cleared his throat, just looking at the knights of the deserter army coming to meet with their prince. There were more important things to focus on right now than his confusing feelings and embarrassment.

War with Camelot.


	15. Chapter 15

Arthur paced the war tent that had been set up by Morgana. A few other tents stood littered around for the knights and other Lords. Beyond extended the entire camp of the gradually increasing army. The druids had wished them well after their celebrations and left, being peaceful people who did not involve themselves in wars.

Eight weeks later and here they were, reviewing what other lords to call to their ranks. “Ten houses have already pledged allegiance to your call for the throne, my Lord.” Lancelot said.

“It makes the numbers reach up to around eight thousand men.” Gwaine said.

“Camelot has thirteen thousand.” Arthur said softly, having made count of all those houses that declared for his father.

“We’ve defeated larger armies before.” Elyan said.

A man Arthur thought he’d never see here entered the tent and everyone turned their attention to him. “Uncle!” Arthur smiled.

“Your highness.” The man said and bowed. “I’m here to pledge the house of De Bois to your valiant cause.”

“You’re going to help me overthrow father?” Arthur asked surprised.

“That I am, Arthur. He caused my sister’s death then killed my brother when he went to rightfully avenge her. You understand my hate for the man.” He said. Arthur looked down and nodded.

“I thank you for your assistance, uncle.” He said and shook his arm. His uncle gave him a small smile and nodded.

“I bring a thousand men with me.” He said.

“They’re welcome to set up camp wherever my sister directs them to.”

“Your sister? Morgana is here?” Agravaine asked surprised. Arthur nodded.

“She returned to us before my decision to get father to step down.” He said. Just then Morgana entered the tent and looked at Agravaine.

“Morgana, you remember my uncle? Agravaine Du Bois. He’s brought a thousand men to join our cause.” He said.

“Brilliant.” She said. “I’ll show them where to set up.” She walked back out, leading Agravaine’s top soldier around.

“It’s so good to see you uncle.” Arthur said, coming to shake his arm and pat his shoulder. A gesture his uncle returned wholeheartedly.

“Arthur, I must admit I’m a bit confused. When I heard you were expecting a child with someone your father didn’t approve of I assumed it was Morgana… seeing as she’d just been rumoured to have returned to Camelot.”

“That is absolutely not the case.” Arthur said shaking his head. He shuddered at the thought and turned back to look at the figures analysing the map and smiled fondly as he saw Merlin sleeping, his head on his folded arms resting on the table.

This child was draining his energy spectacularly and no one had the heart to wake him up when he would doze off even at the most inopportune moments. He would always complain to them though for not waking him.

“But I’ll have to introduce you another time as my husband seems to be dozing off at the moment.” Arthur said and turned to his confused uncle, walking with him back out of the tent. “Merlin is my most loyal friend. We were captured by a sorceress who wanted to carry a child of mine to raise it as my enemy. Long story short, she was killed and the child entered Merlin. He was turned into a woman because of this.” Arthur said simply.

“And… you decided to marry him?” Agravaine asked and Arthur looked at him.

“You sound like you disapprove.” He said.

“Please don’t be insulted by this, Arthur, it’s just a lot to take in.”

“No, it’s true, I understand.” Arthur said. His uncle placed his hand on his shoulder and smiled.

“Your mother would have been proud to see you take your responsibilities this serious.” He said. Arthur felt warmth of pride in his heart at those words and smiled.

“Thank you uncle.”

oOoOoOo

Merlin groaned, opening his eyes to the sound of the knights talking about this letter and that letter. One voice was missing and its absence seemed to have been what woke him up. He sat up slowly and looked around, rubbing his eyes.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Gwaine teased and Merlin chuckled, realising he’d slept through most of their meeting.

“Where’s Arthur?” He asked.

“Listen to him, not even Arthur’s servant anymore and he still can’t help follow him around like a baby duck.” Gwaine told the other knights who laughed in return.

“His uncle’s just arrived. The prince went with him a short while ago, your highness.” Leon said. Leon must love seeing him cringe, because he never stopped with the formal titles.

“Mmh, I’m going to go find him.” He said and straightened his dress.

“I’ll accompany you, Merlin.” Lancelot said coming toward him.

“I’ll be fine, you guys finish whatever it is you’re doing here.” Merlin said.

“We must insist you go with someone, you shouldn’t be alone in a camp full of men.” Percival said with a frown and Merlin had to laugh.

“I don’t believe this. I don’t need you worrying about me. I can use my magic to defend myself, nothing will happen.” Merlin said and looked at their persistent frowns and sighed. “Look, I’ll take this knife, to make you all feel better.” Merlin said grabbing one of Arthur’s short throwing knives, which he hid under his skirts. “Happy?”

“Not really.” Leon said looking at him in worry. “I’ll just come along with you.” He said, handing the scroll he was holding to Percival who accepted it as Leon came to walk beside him much to Merlin’s exasperation.

“I’m not entirely defenceless, you know.” Merlin grumbled. Leon smiled.

“Nonetheless, I take great pride in ensuring your safety, your _highness_.” Leon teased and Merlin huffed some more but found it hard to hide his smile away as they went towards Arthur.

Merlin never really met Agravaine. He knew of Arthur’s uncle after researching the De Bois family when Tristan returned from the dead, but all he knew was that Agravaine usually stayed away from court and only visited on very rare or special occasions. He wasn’t even there for Arthur’s coronation to crown-prince.

And yet, Merlin could see Arthur standing a little taller, smiling a little wider as he spoke to his uncle. Just like he did on the rare occasions his father would seem proud of him.

Arthur turned to notice him approach and his eyes filled with a tenderness that made Merlin’s heart skip.

“There’s my husband. Come Merlin.” Arthur said coming to take his hand and pull him to his side. Merlin looked at the lord uncomfortable. “Merlin, I’d like you to meet my uncle Agravaine. Uncle, this is Merlin.”

“It’s an honour to meet you, my Lord.” Merlin said politely, stretching his hand to shake. Agravaine seemed to catch sight of Ygraine’s ring in his hand and stared at it before bringing Merlin’s hand up to his face, inclining his head politely.

“Likewise, my lady.” Merlin flinched but said nothing. “You must be a very loyal friend to have gone through all of this for Arthur. What honourable house are you from?” Agravaine asked.

“Oh, I’m not from any house. I used to be Arthur’s manservant before… everything.”

“Merlin is also from a long line of proud Dragon Lords.” Arthur said.

Agravaine’s eyes widened at that. “How rare… and interesting. I believe I have some books in my library regarding dragons and Dragon Lords if you’re interested once this is all over. I can’t imagine books like those have been easy for you to come by.” Agravaine said.

“No, they haven’t. Thank you so much.” Merlin said, smiling in excitement.

“Forgive me, you _do_ know how to read? Being a servant and all…”

Merlin didn’t let the smile drop in case the other thought he was being rude. “I… yes, yes I can read, write, perform simple arithmetic…” Merlin mumbled, scratching the back of his neck nervously. He didn’t like this man.

“How rare, an educated peasant. Did your father teach you?”

“My mother, _actually_.” Merlin answered, a little short and Arthur must have sensed his slowly changing mood because he wrapped his arm around his back and rubbed his waist gently.

“Merlin, have you had lunch? You know you get weak when you go without eating every number of hours.” Arthur said and Merlin smiled at him though he was still raging inside.

“I’ll be fine.” He said, his jaw tight in his attempt to keep the rage inside.

“Well Arthur was just about to show me the different allocations for the houses that have declared for him. Perhaps you could join us?” Agravaine asked.

“It’s quite a walk, your highness, perhaps it’s not a good idea.” Leon said and Merlin realised he was being mothered again. He wasn’t about to let himself be looked down on, specially not by this man.

“I’m alright. Arthur?” Merlin asked looking up at him.

“Well, you’re always by my side, why change things now?” He said and Merlin smiled, genuinely this time, sticking close as the four started walking around the different stations.

The walk was boring. Merlin should have tapped out when Leon offered him the chance to. If there was something he hated more than hunting, it was war meetings and this quickly turned onto a meeting on foot.

Half-way through the walk, Arthur seemed to freeze, looking to the side. Merlin followed his line of sight to see Gwen taking a stroll with Lancelot, arm in arm. They both looked happy and Gwen would play with a flower that Lancelot had just given her.

Merlin’s heart squeezed and was about to reach for Arthur when he felt Agravain’s foot come in front of him suddenly, hitting his ankle harshly. Recent rains had made the ground mud and certain spots remain wet with patches of water. It was into such a spot that he fell into, getting himself covered entirely with freezing muddy water.

“Merlin!” Arthur cried out shocked. Merlin felt two pairs of arms helping him up. “You idiot, did you feel faint and not tell me?” Arthur asked gently, taking out a clean cloth that smelled strongly of sandalwood and cleaning his face with it. Merlin’s heart was still racing a little as he let his hands drop to his stomach, rubbing it softly to help him get his heart back in order as he glared at Agravaine who was standing to the side, watching Leon and Arthur fuss over him.

“I-! He tripped me!” He exclaimed pointing to Agravaine. Arthur turned to his uncle.

Agravaine scoffed and laughed. “I did not, my dear. You must have felt faint. It happened to your mother all the time, Arthur.” He said casually.

Arthur’s shock melted away and he nodded. “Of course, uncle. Merlin, I told you, you should have eaten something.” Arthur said trying to clean his face some more but Merlin smacked his hand away.

“You don’t believe me? Well isn’t this familiar! Get off, I can make my own way back!” Arthur still tried to hold onto him as if to keep him steady, Leon supporting him. Agravain, _smirking_. “Don’t touch me, Arthur!” Merlin snapped and Arthur let go. Merlin stormed off back to their tent.

“Go with him, Sir Leon.” He heard Arthur say from behind. Merlin didn’t even turn around, afraid he’d do something rash in his burst of rage.


	16. Chapter 16

Merlin fumed in Morgana’s tent. The moment she saw the state he was in she pulled him into her tent and set up a bath for him.

“You should have seen Arthur, believing Agravaine instantly! I swear he kicked me!” He insisted as she rubbed oils into his hair. He scrubbed his face with water.

“Are you sure you didn’t just trip over your skirts?” Morgana asked and Merlin frowned.

“Maybe?” But it definitely felt like a boot and Agravaine had been right next to him. He frowned. He couldn’t remember correctly now. Merlin groaned feeling embarrassed now. What if he had been wrong? “I’ll have to apologise to Arthur.” But then, he was sure he saw Agravaine smirk at him.

He rubbed his stomach gently. It was no longer flat. A distinct bump that could be mistaken for being bloated were it not firm to the touch.

He got out of the bath and got himself dressed in a thick dress, making sure to wrap himself warmly. Winter was almost upon them and the wind made sure they didn’t forget that.

“Here you go,” Morgana said setting down some food on the table between them. Merlin felt his stomach rumble in hunger and tucked in. “Even if it was an accident, we shouldn’t be quick to trust Agravaine. It’s a civil war, we don’t know who’s loyal to who.” Morgana said.

Merlin nodded, fully agreeing. His mind began to drift to another matter. He remembered the way Arthur looked at Gwen and Lancelot. He’d felt this feeling enough to know what it was now. He was jealous.

oOoOoOo

_Merlin returned to his and Arthur’s tent late and was surprised to see Arthur there waiting for him._

_“I thought you’d still be in the war tent.” Merlin said. Arthur didn’t respond and Merlin turned to him. “Are you alright?” He asked. Again, no response, Arthur simply glared at him. “Arthur.” He insisted._

_Arthur came closer to him and pulled him harshly against him. “How dare you raise your voice to me?” He hissed._

_“Arthur, what the hell, let go of me.” Merlin hissed trying to push the other back but Arthur gripped his wrist painfully, dragging him to their room, throwing him on the furs._

_“I am your prince you’re nothing more than a servant.” Arthur hissed, getting on top of him and tugging at the dress._

_“Arthur!” Merlin growled, struggling against him. Arthur backhanded him harshly._

oOoOoOo

“Arthur!” Merlin jumped awake, shuddering at the darkness in their tent. A dream.

“Merlin?” Arthur’s voice drew his attention and he saw the blonde coming toward him. Merlin felt his heart clench painfully and still felt the sting to his face as he rushed into Arthur’s arms. The display of affection seemed to worry Arthur even more as he held him back. “Merlin, what is it? Is it the child?” Arthur asked worried. “Are you alright?” Arthur asked softly, pulling him back to look him in the eye.

Gone was that enraged look he’d seen in his dream. Instead only tenderness and concern showed in his eyes. That’s right, he’d been waiting for Arthur to come back and he’d fallen asleep.

“Fine… I had a nightmare.” He said softly. Arthur however, didn’t calm down, instead he held his chin firmly and seemed to look intent at his aching face.

“Who hit you?” He demanded. Merlin blinked confused.

“What? No one.” Merlin said.

“Don’t lie to me! You’re getting a bruise.” Arthur said caressing his cheek and Merlin flinched as it ached even more.

“What?” He rushed to the looking glass and there, across his right cheek, a red and purple mark now sat.

“Merlin, who was it?” Merlin turned to Arthur and shook his head.

“I was waiting for you… I fell asleep but I dreamt you… it was only a dream.” Merlin insisted and Arthur’s eyes narrowed.

“This is clearly no dream.” Arthur said.

“A spell?” Merlin wondered.

“It must be.” He said, grabbing a wet cloth. With the cold temperatures it was just about right to soothe his cheek as Arthur pressed the cloth gently on Merlin’s cheek.

“I’ll ask Gaius.” He said wincing from time to time. Hearing him wince Arthur paused and looked at him intensely, leaning in and kissing him softly. Turns out his stomach still wouldn’t get used to the sensation. A comforting feeling spread through him, kissing him back. “I’m sorry for earlier, when I tripped.” Merlin whispered.

“As long as you’re well, that’s all that matters.” Arthur said.

“I’m fine.” Merlin said softly, feeling a familiar delight at being pressed up against Arthur. The extended silences made that feeling all the more exciting. Would they, wouldn’t they? Merlin found it harder and harder to resist melting to the intense way that Arthur would look at him at this hour in the night.

“Merlin… let me embrace you.” Arthur whispered, caressing his waist, running his hand up his back and Merlin leaned into him.

“Only if you hold me tight.” Merlin whispered, leaning in to kiss him, feeling Arthur smile against his mouth.

There was something about the way that Arthur held him when they were together, as if he never wanted to let go. It was a sensation that Merlin would often find himself daydreaming about.

oOoOoOo

Merlin woke up to the feel of a hand on his stomach. He heard whispering and tried to wake up enough to hear the voice.

“You will be so loved, my child.” Arthur whispered and laid a kiss on Merlin’s bare stomach. Merlin felt his heart squeeze painfully and felt tears in his eyes as he realised that he was madly and irrevocably in love with Arthur.

He reached up and placed his fingers through Arthur’s hair, playing with it softly, looking down at him as Arthur leaned back, meeting his gaze.

“I love you, Arthur.” He whispered. Arthur’s eyes widened slightly.

“Merlin,” He whispered and opened his mouth but Merlin stopped him shaking his head.

“Don’t say it. Not unless you’re sure.” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him sadly and leaned in to kiss him. Merlin kissed him back with everything in him.

Arthur didn’t say it back, but for now that was fine with him.

oOoOoOo

It was a few days later that Merlin entered Gaius’ space where he prepared various healing potions and energy tonics with aid of his magic in preparation for the fight ahead. Arthur was right by his side.

“Arthur, Merlin, my boy. Come in, have a seat.” Arthur was only too glad to sit down. Merlin stayed standing. “What is it this time? Nausea or dizziness?” He asked.

Merlin shook his head. “Nothing Gaius… I’ve started having nightmares.” Merlin said and Gaius turned his full attention to him.

“Like Morgana?”

“I certainly hope not!” Both of them exclaimed.

Merlin continued. “In the dreams… Arthur is always cruel to me. Then he strikes me and I wake up.” Merlin said. “I tried leaving it a couple of days to see if it was a one time thing but…” Arthur looked down and Merlin sighed and removed the covering to his neck, pulling back his sleeves. The purple finger marks to his neck matched those to his wrist and the bruise to his face didn’t look any better.

Gaius must have not noticed it simply due to what he’d been busy with. Gaius looked at him gravely. “This is most serious…”

“Arthur’s not leaving my side now, making sure to wake me up if I so much as frown in my sleep but… He’s not sleeping while he watches over me and a tired Arthur is not what we need when it comes to this war.” He said.

“We’ll ask Morgana for help for this. She’s more powerful than me. A cleansing spell might be helpful.” Gaius said, grabbing a book from the corner, opening it up and searching for the right page. “I can’t think of any sorcerer other than Morgana that’s been near you recently to put that spell. If it’s something that works from afar this should cancel it out. It it’s not it might be a potion or puppetry. I’d rather not give you any potions while with child, so lets hope the cleansing works.” Gaius said.

“These dreams have to stop, Gaius.” Arthur said firmly.

“I’ll do what I can, sire.” Gaius said simply.

They made their way back to their tent in silence. “Arthur, you should try and get some sleep now that there’s no council going on.” Merlin said. Arthur looked like he wanted to argue but finally nodded.

“You’re right.” He said and stood, walking back beside him. “Ask Morgana how long before we can perform the ritual.” He turned to him and held him in a hug. Merlin closed his eyes, taking in Arthur’s warmth and comforting scent.

“Try and get some sleep.” Merlin said and Arthur nodded, almost slumping on the furs. Merlin sighed and turned around, making his way to Morgana’s tent.

“Is Arthur asleep?” Merlin tensed and turned to Agravaine as he came toward him.

“He’s not to be disturbed.” Merlin said coldly. Agravaine chuckled.

“No need to be hostile, _peasant_.” Agravaine spat out and Merlin glared at him. “You might have Arthur fooled but it’s easy to see a power-grabber anywhere.” He said. “Enjoy it while you can. The moment you turn back into a man, he’ll be so disgusted with you he’ll have everything he’s given you taken away. Even your child.” Agravaine said with a smirk, looking down at him.

“There you are, your highness.” Leon said coming in from seemingly out of nowhere. “Is everything alright here?” He asked looking at both Agravaine and him. Agravaine seemed calm as a winter’s morning while Merlin couldn’t help himself from replying.

He scoffed at Agravaine’s words. He’d already had these fears, but whatever happened, he trusted Arthur to keep him by his side one way or another. “You know nothing of Arthur. You’re just a stranger.” Merlin hissed at him.

“I’m family.” The ‘you’re nothing’ went unsaid. Merlin clenched his jaw and Leon placed his hand on his shoulder giving it a firm squeeze as Agravaine walked away. “Pleasant dreams, Merlin.” He said ominously and Merlin froze but Agravaine just kept walking.

“Merlin, are you alright? What happened?” Leon asked. Merlin didn’t reply and Leon forced him to look at him. “ _What_ happened?”

Merlin was so used to going it alone that he looked away. “Nothing.” He said simply.

“I don’t believe you.” Leon said simply.

“Are you calling your prince a liar?” Merlin teased but Leon looked persistent. “Nothing worth mentioning at the moment. But… could you accompany me to Morgana’s tent?” He asked softly.

“You don’t need to ask twice, your _highness._ ” Leon smiled softly and walked him the rest of the way there.


	17. Chapter 17

Arthur spent that night watching over Merlin yet again. Morgana had told them to be ready for the ritual at dawn. He watched as Merlin’s chest kept rising and falling. Rage coursed through him at the sight of those bruises to Merlin’s pale skin. They were increasing every time Merlin closed his eyes.

It made Arthur feel absolutely powerless. All he could do was watch over him and wake him whenever his sleep would look restless. But no matter how quickly he woke him, Merlin would still wake as if he’d been struck and a new bruise would appear somewhere.

He reached down to caress his cheek with the back of his fingers and took a deep breath as he looked away from Merlin, the other’s confession still fresh on his mind. He’d always suspected that Merlin was far too loyal for a mere servant but… even though there had been moments when he wasn’t sure if his undying devotion was due to a secret love for Arthur, Arthur just pushed it to the back of his mind thinking it a ridiculous narcissistic notion that would embarrass him to even suggest.

He’d kept telling himself that Merlin was simply loyal, a good friend, his best friend, in fact. But the child had changed that. And they were married, embracing each other even after the marriage had been consummated. No one said they had to keep on lying together, but… it was like they were drawn to each other. Neither could help it. The feel of Merlin holding onto him just as firmly as he held him back. In those moments, Merlin was all he wanted, all he needed. All thoughts of the war, of Gwen, of his father, all such things left his mind and there was only Merlin. But was that love?

 _“I love you, Arthur…”_ Arthur’s heart still raced at the memory. Arthur wasn’t sure if part of him expected them to both return to what they were before everything happened once Merlin returned to his real form but there simply was no going back from this. Merlin loved him. He would either be able to reciprocate the feelings at some point, or he would break Merlin’s heart. The thought of doing that to Merlin made him hurt. He saw Merlin frowning in his sleep and leaned in, kissing him softly.

“Wake up… Merlin.” He whispered, caressing his cheek. For the first time, Merlin opened his eyes without jumping out of his skin. He smiled at him softly and Arthur felt his chest hurt again at seeing the utter adoration in those blue eyes. “Are you alright?” He asked softly.

“Yeah… he didn’t have time to hit me.” He said softly. Worst of all, it was Arthur Merlin saw in those dreams. Merlin insisted he knew it wasn’t him but it didn’t change what was happening. Someone was trying to turn Merlin against him. “We should take turns at least, so you can sleep.” Merlin said.

“Your body is working harder than mine right now, I’m not too sure you’d be able to keep yourself awake and I’m not leaving you at the mercy of those dreams.” Arthur said gently.

Merlin reached up to cup his face and turn him onto his back. “ _Swefe nu._ ” He whispered, eyes flashing to gold and Arthur felt sleep take him before he could argue with Merlin.

oOoOoOo

Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival, Elyan and Leon were all sitting around a fire.

“We should keep an eye on Merlin. He’s hiding something.” Leon said softly.

“Well that definitely sounds like Merlin.” Gwaine said and Lancelot chuckled shaking his head.

“What could he be hiding?” Elyan asked.

“Something that could leave him in danger. I don’t think he realises the position he’s in now.” Leon said.

“I’ll keep an eye on him.” Percival said.

“As will I.” Elyon said.

“And us, obviously.” Gwaine said, Lancelot nodding.

“Good evening gentlemen.” Agravaine said coming over to the group.

“Good evening, my Lord. Can’t sleep?” Leon said politely.

“It was such a beautiful night, I thought I’d go for a stroll.” He said simply. “What were you discussing? Anything I can help with?” Percival opened his mouth to reply but Leon cut him off.

“Only going over the same things gone over at the council. Nothing more, my Lord.” Leon said simply. A few tents down, they all saw Merlin sneaking out of Arthur’s rooms and head down the camp.

“I see…” Agravaine looked at all of them before smiling. “I’ll be on my way then.” He said.

“Actually!” Leon said reaching for his arm. Agravaine looked at his grip surprised. “Why don’t you join us, my Lord? We value your input greatly.” He said. That seemed to make the man look as proud as a peacock. “Sir Gwaine will go over _every_ detail we were discussing just now.” Leon said helping Agravaine take a seat and Gwaine grinned at Leon, getting himself comfortable. He was the best at talking for hours without really saying anything and they all knew it.

“He’ll catch you up while I get some relevant scrolls.” Leon said and the knights nodded understanding without anything needing to be said.

Leon marched away, going to follow where Merlin disappeared.

oOoOoOo

Merlin looked around, making sure no one was around before slipping into Agravaine’s tent. He was going to find proof that the other was up to something one way or another.

He went through his desk first, scanning the papers left around, trying to find any clue as to Agravaine’s true intentions.

“What are you doing?” Merlin jumped, dropping a stack from the corner. His heart raced wildly as he saw Leon coming in.

“Leon! You scared me!” Merlin whispered, hand over his chest before looking down at the papers, picking them up with magic.

“Again, what are you doing, your highness?” Leon asked, crossing his arms over his chest, frowning at him. Merlin sighed.

“Look, I don’t trust Agravaine. Alright? He’s up to something, I know it.” Merlin said.

“And how would you know? Do you have any proof?” Leon asked. Merlin looked down and then at Leon.

“Can’t you trust me?” Merlin asked and Leon took a deep breath, shaking his head. Merlin felt disappointed and looked away. He would have to come back another time and be more careful not to be seen.

“Fine, what are we looking for?” Leon asked, starting to look through the other side of the table. Merlin looked at him shocked. Leon looked up at him at the silence. “Merlin, Gwaine can’t distract Agravaine all night.” He said.

“Oh, yes… just look for anything that could indicate he’s up to something. Anything out of the ordinary.” Merlin said continuing to scan through the scrolls.

“That is awfully broad.” Leon said.

“Less talking more searching.” Merlin said. Leon chuckled and kept looking.

“Merlin… did he really trip you?” Merlin turned to Leon.

“I… I’m not sure now.” He said softly. “But I don’t trust him.” He said and huffed. “There’s nothing here.”

“Then let’s go before he comes back.” Leon said, leading Merlin toward the exit. The heard steps coming toward the tent. “Quick, close your eyes.” Leon whispered and Merlin felt himself getting swept off his feet by Leon’s strong arms. He closed his eyes and lay faint in his arms just in time for the person to enter the tent.

“Sir Leon, lost your way?” Agravaine asked.

“My deepest apologies, my Lord. Prince Merlin was sleep walking again and I came to take him back.” Leon said simply. Merlin had to admit Leon seemed very convincing. Had he always been such a good liar?

“Sleep walking… yes. Of course, alas, it is late, perhaps we can continue war talks in tomorrow’s council.” He said.

“Sounds ideal, my Lord.” Leon said and carried Merlin away from there. He could still feel Agravaine’s eyes on them and stayed still as possible in Leon’s arms.

Leon brought him all the way to where the other knights sat snickering at something. They stopped as they saw Leon approach.

“What’s wrong with Merlin?” Lancelot asked standing straight.

“Nothing.” Merlin said opening his eyes and Leon put him down gently.

“He was _sleep walking_ in Agravaine’s tent, trying to find something to prove he’s untrustworthy.” Leon said.

“That’s just typical, Merlin.” Lancelot said.

“I’m very rarely wrong, or you’d know that if you’d seen all I’ve done in the past.” Merlin said crossing his arms over his chest. “Someone’s cursed me with nightmares that harm me.” Merlin said. “I don’t know who it is or how but… Agravaine feels like the right place to start looking.” He said.

“If that’s the case… we best keep an eye on you.” Gwaine said patting his shoulder. Merlin huffed. He wasn’t too sure he could do his usual sneaking around with the knights keeping an eye on him.

“Fine.” He said.

Merlin decided to sit with them for the rest of the night. At some point he fell asleep, resting his head on Leon’s shoulder.

oOoOoOo

_Merlin was laughing and sitting with the group when Arthur stormed over. Merlin narrowed his eyes, recognising nightmare Arthur easily. He stood up and stepped back but Lancelot caught him and stopped him escaping. His arms were held tight to his sides and Merlin struggled harder as Arthur came closer._

_“You’re nothing but a worthless servant! Nothing.” Arthur hissed and brought his closed fist down on Merlin’s face._

oOoOoOo

Merlin jumped awake with a cry. It made all of them jump where they sat and turn to Merlin alarmed. Merlin was covering his mouth and blood threaded through his fingers as Merlin struggled to keep the tears of pain in.

“Merlin!” Leon cried out, helping him up.

“What happened?” Percival demanded. Gwaine helped him remove his hand.

They all froze to see Merlin’s cut lip, as if someone had punched him plainly across the face.

“What the _hell_ , Merlin?” Gwaine asked.

“It’s the nightmares…” Merlin said. Leon looked around the camp, trying to see if there was anyone around. He thought he saw Agravaine’s cape disappear behind a tent but he couldn’t be sure. He turned his attention back to Merlin. For all his power, Merlin was still as defenceless as ever.

He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him. They would all protect Merlin with their lives if they had to.

“Lets get you to Gaius, Merlin.” Lancelot said, looking furious as the rest of them. Merlin didn’t refuse the help this time and they led their friend to Gaius.

oOoOoOo

Merlin looked away, arms crossed over his chest as Arthur stood there glaring at him intensely. Even full of anger, he could tell him apart from the nightmare.

“Don’t _ever_ aim your magic at me again.” Arthur said very slowly.

“Do you have any idea how many times my magic aimed at you has saved your life?” Merlin exclaimed.

“I don’t want to risk you getting hurt anymore!” Arthur exclaimed. “What if the nightmare hits you where the child lies?”

Merlin did feel a twinge of fear at that thought and covered his stomach. “We’ll do the cleansing and the nightmares should stop.” He said.

“It doesn’t change the fact that you got hurt again because you couldn’t let me guard you!” Arthur snapped.

“Arthur, this is the first solid hours of sleep you’ve had in three days.” Merlin said.

“You’re more important than sleep to me, Merlin! You may have gotten used to keeping everything to yourself when you were keeping your powers a secret, but unfortunately for you, we’re _married_ and as such, I _will_ protect you when I can whether you like it or not!” Arthur yelled and Merlin took a deep breath trying not to argue back. The prat was right, he knew, but he still couldn’t help but want Arthur to understand his point of view.

“If you two are done, it’s about to be dawn.” Morgana said, re-reading the spell to make sure he understood what was needed.

“Best not be late.” Gaius added.

Merlin looked up at Arthur who sighed, exasperated, looking at him as if he had no clue what to do with him. The knights went on ahead after Morgana and Gaius. Arthur kept staring him down and Merlin stared right back, keeping his chin up against his prince.

“Are you ever going to let me in completely?” Arthur asked. The question surprised Merlin but Arthur didn’t press for an answer. Instead, he held Merlin by the shoulder, leading him after Morgana to the small hilltop she was heading toward.

“I guess it takes a lot to get used to you worrying about me.” Merlin teased.

“Shut up, Merlin.” Arthur snapped and Merlin grinned, nudging him on the side, getting nudged back in return. Arthur glanced at him for a second and Merlin caught the small smile there too.

Stupid cabbage head. Why did he have to have the most heart-warming smile in all of Albion?

They reached the group where a circle of white stones decorated the ground.

“Both of you, lie down.” Morgana said.

“Both of us?” Merlin and Arthur looked at each other, amused yet annoyed that they’d asked the same thing.

“Yes, before the cleansing ritual, Arthur, you need to go into Merlin’s nightmare and kill the copy.” Morgana said.

Arthur nodded without hesitation, going into the circle.

“Wait, what happens if he doesn’t succeed?” Merlin asked.

“Oh yes, the nightmare might kill you Arthur, and continue to haunt Merlin.” Gaius said.

“It’s too risky Arthur.” Merlin said.

“Merlin, lie down, go to sleep and let me get my hands on that nightmare. Don’t take this from me.” Arthur said. Merlin looked at him surprised. He almost felt sorry for the nightmare. Almost.

He came to lie down beside Arthur, letting his head rest on the dew covered ground. He looked at the stars above on the slowly brightening sky and felt Arthur’s hand slipping into his, giving it a firm squeeze. He smiled and closed his eyes.

“ _Swefe nas.”_ Morgana called out and Merlin felt his eyes shut, slipping into sleep.

oOoOoOo

_Merlin opened his eyes to find himself, lying on the circle alone. He sat up and looked around, none of the army tents present. It was just the valley they’d gotten married in._

_“Arthur?” He called, standing to leave but jolted back as he saw his wrist chained to the centre of the circle._

_“Did you think I’d let a monster like you run around freely?” He heard the nightmare’s voice and turned to look back at Arthur._

_“You’re in for a fun dream, you creep.” Merlin hissed at him and smirked. Nightmare Arthur growled and reached his arm up to hit him again._

_The real Arthur appeared then, grabbing the creature’s wrist and throwing him away from Merlin._

_“Well, this won’t do at all.” The nightmare said and took out its sword._

_Arthur smirked taking out his own sword. “I’m going to enjoy this.” He said._

_Sword clashed against sword. The nightmare was just as skilled as Arthur but… Merlin had never seen such raw, unadulterated hatred burning in Arthur’s eyes before. The blows were quick, angry, forceful._

_“Don’t think he cares, Dragon Lord. He doesn’t give a damn about you. He loves the servant girl, not you.” The nightmare mocked._

_“I don’t care, your words can’t hurt me.” Merlin said back to the nightmare who hissed more like a snake than before._

_“Don’t talk to him!” Arthur exclaimed, bringing his sword down, hacking the thing’s arm off. It fell away in dark smoke. The thing no longer looked like Arthur. Its eyes had turned black and its face changed to something distorted. Arthur hacked the sword arm off and the thing screamed in pain. Arthur dropped before it and punched it viciously again and again until the thing became nothing more than black smoke that faded into nothing, carried away in the wind._

_Arthur tried to come to him but faded away in the light of the rising sun. Merlin felt a strong sense of loss come with a wave of weakness. He heard Morgana’s words in the distance, calling out the purification chant. The magic spread through him like the warmth of the sun._

_“Merlin.” Arthur whispered._

oOoOoOo

Merlin’s eyes opened to find the knights and Arthur all looking down at him in concern. Morgana shooed them all aside and came to kneel by his side.

“Merlin, are you alright?” Morgana asked, grabbing his face, turning him left right, checking his eyes, checking his teeth...

“I’m fine Morgana!” Merlin said smacking her hands away. She huffed and nodded.

“I’m glad.” She said warmly and Merlin smiled. Morgana allowed Gwaine to help her to her feet while Merlin grasped Arthur’s arm, who pulled him up easily from the ground.

“You look far too smug.” Merlin told Arthur.

“Merlin, I don’t think you appreciate how much I enjoyed that.” Arthur’s hand came to cup his cheek, his thumb trailing softly over his cut lip. Merlin flinched ever so slightly but his racing heart was distracting him from it. Arthur looked at him with that relaxed smile of his and leaned in to kiss him softly.

Merlin blushed darkly as he kissed him back. This was the first time they’d kissed in public since the wedding. He heard Gwaine whistle and both turned to him.

“Right, council meeting, now.” Arthur demanded and Gwaine smirked, walking away with the rest of the knights.

Morgana smiled tucking a strand of hair behind Merlin’s ear before walking away, the spell book held proudly in her arms. Gaius patted Merlin’s shoulder gently and smiled, walking away just behind Morgana.

Arthur gave Merlin a faint squeeze on the shoulder and they both made their way, side by side, to another day in the council meeting.


	18. Chapter 18

Arthur sat, reading the final reply from his father. “Father refuses to abdicate.” Arthur said and looked at those around the council, which had been arranged in a circle.

“So, it’s war?” Merlin asked with a sense of finality. Arthur looked down at him, glad to finally see those bruises gone. It took a few weeks for them to go until Merlin’s skin returned to its pale complexion. It was while he was waiting for that to happen that he failed to notice the baby showing more and more. With the thicker dresses that came with the weather, he’d almost missed it. “Arthur?” Merlin asked.

“Yes, it’s war. They should be meeting us in the coming days.” Arthur informed everyone in the room. “Are the men ready?”

“My men are ready, Arthur.” His uncle said.

“We are ready.” Leon said and all the other knights continued to nod around the table.

“As war is but a few days away, perhaps you should consider sending your wife somewhere safer?” his uncle said and Arthur almost laughed.

“I doubt Merlin would obey. He’d probably just end up keeping to the shadows where I can’t see him or protect him.” Arthur said and turned to see Merlin glare at his uncle. He sighed, not understanding the animosity that Merlin had for him. Still, it did make him uneasy. Maybe Merlin’s powers warned him of something to come, but he didn’t want to lose faith in his uncle when he hadn’t done anything to merit it just yet.

“I’ll be here to command Kilgharrah.” Merlin said.

“If there’s any danger…”

Merlin clenched his jaw, clearly not liking this part of their agreement. They’d discussed Agravaine’s question in great length over the past number of weeks after all.

“I will ride him out of here.” Merlin repeated.

“Good.” Arthur said and turned to Morgana. “Sister?” He asked and she beamed at the term.

“I’ve set traps along the field. We should be able to separate part of the army. If we intimidate them enough maybe father will reconsider and we could avoid as many casualties as we can.” She said.

“When they see the dragon, perhaps father will reconsider.” Arthur said.

“And if he doesn’t?” His uncle asked.

“As much as it pains me to say it… we’ll have to take Camelot by force.” Arthur said. He really didn’t want the loss of life that would surely come but the risk of surrendering to his father’s wishes was Merlin on the pyre. “Be ready.”

oOoOoOo

Merlin walked beside Arthur as they supervised the preparations. Agravaine was there, as if he deserved to be there. Morgana walked beside Merlin, prattling on about some spell or other and while Merlin had come to love having someone to discuss magic with and learn magic with, today he was specially irritated at Agravaine.

The man kept giving Arthur advice, telling him how to do things better and trying to change his strategy. Arthur, the idiot, eager to learn from a father-figure was listening attentively.

“Forgive me, Agravaine,” Merlin started without honorifics. “But how many battles have you been a part of?” He asked.

Agravained turned smiling confidently at him. “I have a vast deal more experience in the field.”

“And that was, how long ago? More than twenty years ago?” Merlin asked casually.

“Merlin!” Arthur whispered.

“No, no, Arthur, it’s alright. It’s normal for someone of his meagre upbringing to be excited by such stories.” Agravaine said and Merlin clenched his jaw.

“Arthur has much more recent experience with this sort of thing. Your out-dated methods would be out of place here.” Merlin said.

“Much like you?”

Ooh, that did it. Merlin let his eyes flash gold and shoved Agravaine back into the large puddle of mud behind him. Payback.

“Merlin! What are you doing?” Arthur yelled at him and Merlin had only a meagre sliver of embarrassment at having lost control. Seeing Agravaine gasping at the frigid temperature of the mud made Merlin feel very satisfied.

“It’s perfectly alright, Arthur. Womenly airs, paired with a child, not a good combination with such power.” Agravaine said. “I better go get changed. Though you should teach your _woman_ how not to talk out of place.” The creep had the nerve to say as he left to get changed.

Arthur turned his full rage to Merlin then. “What the devil is the matter with you?” Arthur snapped.

“With _me?_ ” Merlin said horrified. “What about you? Did you not hear the way he just talked to me?” He yelled.

“After you pushed him into the mud? Yeah, I heard, I’d be pretty angry too if a servant with no battle experience was questioning my knowledge on such matters!” Arthur yelled. “And how dare you push a noble lord into the mud!”

Merlin clenched his jaw. “Oh, I’m the servant and he’s _so_ noble! Fine!” Merlin took off the stupid crown that Arthur made him wear whenever he was outside. So people would know who he was. As if being the only pregnant person in the camp wasn’t clue enough.

“Merlin…” Arthur tried but Merlin forced the idiot to take it.

“Yes, sire?” He asked removing the warm fur coat Arthur had gotten him for winter.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked and Merlin tossed the coat at his face.

“This is far too much for someone of my lowly station.” Merlin declared and Morgana covered her mouth with her hand, watching half horrified half amused as Merlin yanked off the fine top dress, easily removed thanks to leaving it loose for the child and tossed it at Arthur’s feet. “ _This_ is far too fine for a _servant_.” Merlin snapped.

“Merlin! Get dressed this instant!” Arthur snapped and looked even angrier as the men around looked at Merlin with great interest. Dressed only in a plain white underdress. He went to remove the ring but felt tears in his eyes at the thought of removing it. “Merlin, stop this right now.” Arthur snapped and Merlin left the ring on for now.

“I’m sorry, _my lord_. But I’m sure there’s something in your room that needs cleaning.” Merlin snapped and stormed away.

“ _Merlin!_ ” Arthur yelled. Merlin didn’t stop and ignored the whistles and calls for attention from the soldiers. He ignored them all and stormed straight for Agravaine’s tent.

oOoOoOo

Arthur watched Merlin storming away having no clue what to do. “It’s freezing… what is that idiot doing? Has he gone mad?” He asked Morgana who came and smacked him hard upside the head. “Ow! What on earth was that for?” he asked.

“You really are embarrassing brother. You should know never to get into a fight with a woman that is carrying a child.” She said and turned to leave. “Also, your uncle is starting to irritate me. If Merlin doesn’t hex him, I will. So get _him_ in line.”

Arthur looked at where Merlin disappeared to and sighed, setting off to find him.

oOoOoOo

Merlin stormed into Agravaine’s tent, glaring at the man coldly, who was in the middle of removing his armour to change.

“Is this how you seduced him? By entering his quarters half naked?” Agravaine asked unimpressed and Merlin shuddered in disgust.

“What are you really up to, Agravaine? Why are you here?” Merlin demanded.

“I’m here to help Arthur fight that monster that killed my family.” Agravaine said, rage in his eyes.

“Then why send those nightmares?” Merlin asked. “I know it was you.”

“I have no magic, I don’t know what you mean.” Agravaine was smirking the whole time as he came closer.

“Then someone is helping you.” Merlin said. Agravaine reached out to place his hands on Merlin’s shoulders. Merlin flinched and tried to back away but Agravaine held him closer and leaned into his ear.

“He’ll never believe you. Deep down, you’re worthless to him.” Agravaine whispered. Merlin struggled again and Agravaine held him harder. “Enjoy the months of life you have left. You will die just like Ygraine died, after hours of pain. The last thing you’ll hear will be the cry of the unwanted child that’s taken your life.”

A cold chill went down Merlin’s spine at those words. A sword was drawn that made Agravain let Merlin go and step back. Merlin felt Arthur’s arm wrap around his shoulder, holding him close. Merlin felt his heart start racing as Arthur held him protectively.

“Are you alright, Merlin?” He asked softly.

“Fine.” Merlin mumbled, still angry at him.

“Arthur, she came to my tent. If anyone’s trespassing it’s her.”

“ _Him._ ” Arthur corrected. “And he’s my husband, the prince can enter wherever he pleases.”

Agravaine opened his mouth to say something else but Arthur cut him off.

“Do you know anything about these nightmares and how they came to happen?” Arthur asked closely.

“Like I said, Arthur, I don’t know what he’s talking about.” He said.

“He said I’d die like your mother.” Merlin said softly. Arthur’s arm tightened around his shoulders.

“That won’t happen, uncle. A life has already been given. Merlin will live.” Arthur said. “More importantly… if you touch Merlin again, I’ll ask you to leave.” He said.

“I wish for nothing more than to serve you, Arthur. I promised your mother I would always be there for you.” Agravaine said and gave Arthur a bow.

Arthur put his sword away and pulled Merlin out of there.

Once outside, Merlin shivered at the cold. Snow would be coming soon. That would make the battle harder. Merlin felt Arthur’s cape drop on his shoulders and turned to glare at him, removing the cape which Arthur forced back on his shoulders.

“If you’re going to be stubborn, at least keep warm for the sake of the child.” Arthur said and Merlin pulled away from him, storming into their tent, tossing Arthur’s cape away as soon as he was within the warm tent. Morgana’s spells kept it at a pleasant temperature.

He froze as he saw the knights there who all looked a bit surprised. “Well, Merlin, I didn’t realise that’s how quickly Arthur could get you undressed.” Gwaine teased and Merlin threw a plum at his head. “Ow!”

“Merlin, will you please, put something on?” Arthur asked.

“I _will_! As soon as I can find something befitting of my _station_!” Merlin yelled at Arthur. “I’m nothing but a servant after all!”

“Not a very good one if you’re talking back to me.” Arthur said and boy was that the wrong thing to say.

“I beg your pardon?” Merlin said turning toward him slowly.

“Did you really call him a servant?” Percival asked.

“I did _not_!” Arthur defended himself.

“Yes you did! And Agravain told him he should get his _woman_ in line! Well, go on then, I’m _waiting_!”

“Merlin, you need to calm down.” Lancelot said trying to come to calm him but Merlin shoved him back a little with his magic.

“Get out! I don’t want to see you! I don’t want to have to _look_ at you!” Merlin yelled at Arthur and stormed into the sleeping side of the tent. Arthur scoffed looking amused more than angry.

“This is my tent! Where am I meant to sleep?” A pillow slammed on his head completely by surprise.

“With the horses for all I care!”

“But it’s cold out there!”

“Then bundle up, prat!”

“Who’s going to guard you tonight?” Arthur tried to reason but there was no reasoning with Merlin in this state.

“Would it be alright if I watched over you, your highness?” Gwaine called.

Merlin poked his head out. “Gwaine gets to stay. Arthur, get out.” Merlin said and returned back inside.

Arthur was left there not knowing what to do. Percival chuckled and patted his back. “How does it feel to have had your first fight?” It was the last words Merlin heard as the knights walked out with Arthur.

Merlin slumped onto the furs and felt a well of emotion rising. “So Merlin, are you going to tell me what the heck…”

Merlin turned to Gwaine and burst into tears. Gwaine very much started to look like wished he’d traded places with another one of the knights.

“Why are you… crying?” He asked slowly.

“I don’t know!” Merlin whined. “Every week that passes I get so irritated and I can’t sleep as well and my breasts keep aching and I swear to god they’re getting bigger!” Merlin cried.

“I…I’m sorry I asked.” Gwaine said.

“And now I’m being paranoid with that greasy creep and Arthur is being a prat but he’s also going to war for me and I’ve just kicked him out and I wish I could take it back!” He cried louder.

“Shh! Merlin! People are going to think you’re being hurt or something!” Gwaine said and Merlin only cried louder.

“What is wrong with me, Gwaine?! I’m not supposed to be in this position! I was supposed to be Arthur’s servant only!” Merlin wept.

Gwaine sighed. “Again with this… let it go, Merlin. Clearly fate had other plans for you. If you believe in that nonsense, then you should believe this was meant to be.” He said kneeling in front of him and holding him firmly by the shoulders. “You are the bravest, most noblest man I have ever known. Believe me that I came to Camelot primarily because of you.” He said. “A noble title is the least of what you deserve.”

“I keep having this terrible feeling, Gwaine.” Merlin whispered. “Agravaine said I’m going to die like Ygraine.”

“You said yourself that wasn’t going to happen, Merlin.” Gwaine said with a frown.

“I know… a life has already been given.” Merlin repeated and looked away, his emotions beginning to calm down.

“Forget what that ass said. You can’t exert yourself like this while carrying Arthur’s spawn.” Gwaine said and Merlin chuckled softly at the other’s wording. “Get some rest, I’ll guard you.” He said. Merlin sighed and lay down his head. He lay on his side now, finding it uncomfortable to be on his back.

One thing became obvious as the hours passed. Sleep would not come to him. “Gwaine…” He mumbled.

“Hmm?”

“I can’t sleep alone.” He said.

“Want me to call Arthur?”

“No, he’s still a prat. You come here.”

“I probably shouldn’t.”

“Come here or I’ll make you.”

“Alright. Put my head on the chopping block, but alright.” Merlin heard him grumble. Gwaine laid down beside him and just stayed very still on his back. Merlin wrapped his arm around the other’s chest, using him as a pillow instead. It didn’t feel perfect. Gwaine wasn’t Arthur, but it was much more comfortable.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, half asleep.

“Anything for you, my prince.” Gwaine said and both laughed softly and Merlin let sleep come to him.


	19. Chapter 19

Arthur entered the tent late at night, not being able to sleep without Merlin. It just didn’t feel right anymore. He quietly made his way to the sleeping area, to find Merlin and Gwaine sleeping side by side. The bitter sting of jealousy hit him at once, but one look at Gwaine and he had to use every measure of control he had to stop himself from laughing.

Gwaine was lying stiff as a board, eyes wide and arms firmly held against his stomach. He eyed Arthur as if he’d strike him down in a second. He thought he’d be jealous, but somehow he was a hundred percent certain that there was no need for it. He made his way to Merlin’s left and lay down beside him, starting to untangle him from Gwaine.

Merlin easily turned and snuggled into Arthur’s chest.

“Arthur…” He mumbled, recognising him in his sleep, his body relaxing that final stretch so he could go into deep sleep. Gwaine stood up then and bowed at Arthur.

“Goodnight, my prince, princess.” He said.

“Thank you, sir Gwaine.” Arthur said.

“See if you two idiots can figure it out already.” He heard Gwaine grumble on his way out but didn’t call him back to explain or he would have had to wake Merlin.

Whatever Gwaine meant, it wasn’t worth getting out of this position for. He looked down at Merlin and pet his cheek, moving his hair away from his face.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, closing his eyes and falling asleep.

oOoOoOo

In the morning, Merlin was the first to rouse and Arthur followed soon after. Merlin sat back quietly, looking to the side.

“I’m sorry I called you a servant, Merlin. It just slipped out.” Arthur said and Merlin turned to look at him.

“So, you’re admitting you were wrong?” He asked. Arthur smiled. Normally the question would have irritated him. He hated admitting he was wrong but with Merlin… it didn’t matter.

“I was wrong, I shouldn’t have called you a servant.” He said.

“And?”

“And I should have told Agravaine to respect you immediately.”

“And?”

“And?” Arthur asked confused.

“And maybe you should have trusted me about Agravaine?” Merlin suggested.

“Merlin, if there really is something going on with Agravaine, unless you bring me proof I can’t do anything about it. As far as I know my uncle has only ever been loyal to my cause, to _our_ cause.”

Merlin shook his head. “Something tells me he’s not…”

“How can I send him away without proof? Send his one thousand men away when we’re down five thousand compared to Camelot?” Arthur asked.

“…You’re right.” Merlin sighed and it was Arthur’s turn to look impressed. “Shut up.”

Arthur scoffed. “I’m the crown prince, Merlin, you can’t tell me what to do.”

Merlin grinned that mischievous little smile of his that made Arthur’s heart race. “I always have, I’m not about to change now.”

Arthur felt that inexplicable pull once more as he leaned toward Merlin, kissing him deeply as he held him close. Every time Merlin would kiss him back Arthur would feel as if his stomach had been turned on its head and all he wanted was to hold him closer.

“Merlin…” He whispered against his lips. Merlin simply lay down, pulling him down with him, their kisses becoming more and more feverish. They had to pull away however, as Merlin gasped and turned onto his side. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?” He asked worried.

“Fine… it’s just… I can’t get comfortable lying down.” Merlin pouted and Arthur chuckled, kissing him softly.

“It’s alright… we can wait for the child to be born.” Arthur said. Merlin looked up at him confused. Arthur didn’t have a chance to address the confusion because Leon came in then with Morgana.

“Your highness?” Leon asked.

“Arthur, the traps have been crossed. Father’s army is half a day away.” Morgana said.

Arthur looked at Merlin and held his hand, giving it a squeeze in an attempt to reassure him.

“Ready the men.” Arthur said. Leon bowed and left. “Morgana, you and Merlin will look after each other.” Arthur helped Merlin up. “Merlin…”

“Yes, sire?” Merlin asked, looking at him intently, the worry evident in his face.

“I know you’re not my servant, but will you help me with my armour?” He asked.

Merlin showed him a flicker of a smile before nodding. “I wouldn’t let anyone else do it, Arthur.” He said softly. There it was again. That intense way Merlin had of looking at him. It had only increased in frequency since they’d been together, but Merlin had always looked at him that way, especially in dire moments.

“Lets go try and knock some sense into my father.” He said.

oOoOoOo

Merlin carefully helped Arthur with his armour, making sure all the straps were tight and strong, making sure every vital area was covered. He looked at his work with intense concentration, wanting to be sure that Arthur was going into battle as safe as he could go.

“Be careful out there. He may be your father but… he may not hesitate to strike you down if he can.” Merlin said.

“I’ll be careful.” Arthur said and Merlin looked up at him.

“I’m sorry I’ve put you in this position, Arthur. I wanted to spare you ever having to choose between your father and… your destiny.” Merlin said softly.

“Father put us in this position, Merlin. Not you.” Arthur said and knelt before him. Merlin felt his heart skip as Arthur placed his hands on his stomach. “Take care of your mother, my child.” He said softly, caressing the distended stomach and Merlin reached down, placing his hand over Arthur’s.

“The child is moving… can you feel it?” Merlin whispered. He placed Arthur’s hand over the bubbling sensation against his side. A look of concentration filled Arthur’s face but soon he simply smiled and stood.

“Perhaps a little more growth is needed for me to feel it.” Arthur said.

“Sire, the horses are ready.” Elyan announced.

“Be safe.” Arthur told Merlin. Merlin smirked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you get some fighting in before I save the day.” Merlin teased and looked down, humour leaving him. “Sometimes I forget there’s so much about me you still don’t know.” He said softly.

“Well… we have our whole lives to talk about it.” Arthur said and gave his shoulder a squeeze. Merlin smiled, placing his hand over Arthur’s once more.

“Lets go.”

oOoOoOo

Arthur caught sight of Lancelot and Gwen saying goodbye. Gwen looked at Lancelot the way she used to look at him, but without the heavy burden that always seem to weigh on her shoulders for loving the prince. There was a twinge of happiness for Gwen but… a bitter feeling of loss as he looked away.

He turned around to see Merlin, looking down, guilt in his eyes and Arthur was about to apologise. Merlin looked up, a fire in his eyes as he came toward him and cupped his face, eyes turning to gold and a commanding voice leaving his lips. Words of the old religion echoed from his lips and seemed to resonate all around them. Arthur tried to ask what he was doing but something stopped him. Something as strong as what stopped his hand from killing that golden deer. The warmth of magic washed over him and Merlin’s voice slowly faded into silence. As his eyes dimmed into their deep blue, Arthur cupped Merlin’s face, caressing his cheek gently with his thumb. A flicker of vulnerability showed in Merlin’s face and Arthur realised it was still him.

He felt in awe as he stared at the creature before him and suddenly it didn’t feel right to kiss him. It didn’t feel right to embrace him while his feelings remained uncertain. He suddenly felt very far beneath him in station, in a hierarchy laid out by laws far more ancient than Camelot itself.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked worried.

“What did you do?” Agravaine asked.

“Only a protection spell.” Merlin said. “Oi! Arthur!” Merlin smacked Arthur’s arm softly and Arthur blinked, as if waking up from a strange daydream. “Are you alright?” Merlin asked.

Arthur looked at him once more. “I am.” He said and stepped back, taking out the sapphire crown. “If you would do me the honour, Merlin, of wearing the crown of a prince?” Arthur asked.

“Maybe I went too strong with the magic…” Merlin said feeling Arthur’s forehead. Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Merlin.” Merlin stopped and simply nodded and Arthur slid the crown onto his head. He didn’t lean in for a kiss. He grasped Merlin’s arm and shook it firmly. Merlin looked at him a little perplexed but smiled nonetheless, returning the firm grip. Suddenly, Merlin seemed to stand a little taller and it made Arthur proud.

“Merlin, lets go.” Morgana called and Merlin released Arthur’s arm. Arthur watched Merlin go and turned to his men, getting on the horse as he made his way to the front of the army.

oOoOoOo

Arthur looked at the two lone figures by the hill all the way at the back. He took a deep breath and finally turned to look at his father’s army. Camelot’s army. Arthur saw his father detach from his men and come forward, riding alone. Arthur took a deep breath and rode his horse calmly to meet him in the middle of the field.

“Father…” Arthur greeted.

“Is that what I still am to you?” Uther asked coldly.

“My father you will always be.” Arthur said.

“And king?” Uther stared him down intently.

Arthur would have let that glare affect him once upon a time. He shook his head. “King you can be no more.” He said. Uther shook his head and scoffed, looking at him more amused than offended.

“You’re not ready, boy. Look at you. You’ve brought the kingdom to civil war over a Dragon Lord. Sorcerer too, I’ve been told.”

“Who told you that?” Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Arthur, if you have any sense, try and see that this is madness. You have to be bewitched.” He said.

“If I were enchanted I would be madly in love with him, which I am not.” Arthur said.

“Then why go through all this… mess? For someone like him? For a servant at the very least and a sorcerer at the very worst?”

Arthur smiled. “I’m not madly in love with him… but I _do_ care for Merlin, deeply. I could never have hoped for a more faithful, caring, _humble_ person to be with. Despite what you may think.” Arthur said as Uther rolled his eyes.

“This whole mess started because of that bastard he carries.” Uther said.

“No, father. My child and heir will not be a bastard. I have married Merlin, both in the rites of the court… and that of the old religion. Weddings that you, of course, paid for.” Arthur said.

Uther’s humour melted away into rage. “How _dare_ you involve yourself with the old religion! I conquered it! I will not have the kingdom falling to its knees before it again!” Uther yelled.

“You’re wrong father. And your failure to see the error of your ways made Morgana grow up terrified. You made her run away. You forced her into the arms of your enemies.”

“I was trying to protect her from it all! I never knew she had magic! Otherwise I would have…”

Both of them froze and Arthur looked at his father with hope. “You would have what, father?” Arthur asked softly.

His father didn’t reply. Uther turned to look at him. “If you let sorcery in… you will suffer, my son.”

Arthur looked down and then stared at his father down after gathering the courage he needed. “I don’t want to shed blood, father. Abdicate the throne to me. Or face me on the field.”

All emotion vanished from Uther’s face, to be replaced with the cold eyes of a soldier. “You want war, boy? You’ll get war.” Uther said and turned, returning to his men.

Arthur clenched his jaw and turned his horse around.

oOoOoOo

“Oh, father…” Morgana said sadly and turned to Merlin. Merlin sighed and turned to the skies, calling Kilgharah forth.

As the dragon cried out and swept past the battle field, the battle cry rang out and both sides rode towards each other at full speed.

Merlin felt his heart loudly in his ears as he tried to locate Arthur. There were too many people.

“I can’t see him.” Merlin whispered.

“He’ll be fine Merlin.” Morgana insisted, but she seemed to be looking for him just as desperately.

Kilgharah swept down, encasing in flames the troops beyond the front lines, to ensure no one from their side was burned.

Merlin looked at Morgana and got down on his knees.

“What are you doing?” Morgana asked.

“Morgana, lend me your focus.” Merlin asked, extending his hand to her. Morgana seemed confused but reached down and grasped Merlin’s hand tightly.

Merlin closed his eyes and focused all his power to finding Arthur. Morgana kept him grounded, and Merlin let his power flow.

oOoOoOo

_He tapped into the same power that allowed him to help in their escape. He searched for that which was distinctively Arthur’s and found it._

_Arthur fought valiantly against the same men that just a few months ago he’d been training with._

_Camelot’s men held swords encased in precious stones, which glowed with power. Uther was using magic to fight with him._

_A knight came up behind Arthur and Merlin raised his hand, throwing the man back where he was killed by another soldier._

“I can feel you Merlin!” _Arthur called out._

_“Uther is using magic.” Merlin announced._

“He’s such a bloody hypocrite!” _Kilgharrah came down once more, striking on more of his father’s troops._

“Arthur!” _Uther called and both of them turned to see Uther approaching, sword drawn._

“Merlin… let me handle this.” _Arthur said. But Merlin rose his hand instinctively._

_Then he was blasted on his side. “AUGH!” Merlin cried out and he was thrown back into his own body._

oOoOoOo

Merlin groaned, reaching for his side protectively, the clothes sizzled from where he was struck by fire. He turned to the attacker. Morgana was there, kneeling in pain also but guarding him. Merlin moved to get a better view of the sorcerer that attacked them and froze, all thought and reason leaving his mind.

“Hello _prince_ Merlin.” Lana said, with great amusement.

In that single moment, Merlin felt as his world came crashing down around him.


	20. Chapter 20

Lana stood, smirking proudly where she was. Merlin stood slowly, not taking his eyes of the woman that started this whole mess. “Y-you’re dead.” Merlin whispered.

“Yes… you’d like that wouldn’t you.” Lana chuckled. “That would make everything so simple, you’d have your child, raise it by prince Arthur’s side and bring magic and peace to the land of Albion.” She said sweetly before laughing cruelly. “Well, looks like leaving a witch in a shallow grave didn’t work out as planned.”

“I’m going to kill you and make you the sacrifice one way or another!” Morgana yelled, hands consumed in green flame at the chant of a spell. She shot at Lana.

Lana cried out as one struck her arm. Lana summoned her own powers and shot at Morgana. Morgana summoned a shield deflecting all of the attack.

“It’s no use… even if you kill me now, I won’t count as a sacrifice… looks like this entire war has been for nothing. Poor Uther, had no choice but to accept my help when faced with this war. And poor prince Arthur, I wonder how he’ll feel after his beloved dies much like his mother did.” She laughed and shot at the ground, creating a cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, she was gone.

“Merlin…” Morgana whispered. She reached for him but he couldn’t bare to be touched right now, as he stared at the battle field.

“I did this…” Merlin whispered.

“No! Merlin, don’t think like that!” Morgana exclaimed.

Merlin tried to control his breathing as the tears made his vision blurry. He raised his hand up to the sky. The grey clouds intensified in darkness and brightened up with lightning. Merlin let his hand drop down toward Uther’s army and let his grief loose on the soldiers of Camelot.

“AGH!” Lightning pierced the clouds and tore through most of the army. Combined with dragon fire and Arthur’s army’s superior strength, the retreat began.

Merlin watched as Uther retreated with his remaining men. He dropped to his knees and reached a hand to his stomach.

“Merlin, please, you won’t die, I swear it.” Morgana insisted, trying to get him to his feet.

“Morgana, you will _not_ tell Arthur that Lana is alive.”

“Of course I’m telling him!”

“You will not!” Merlin yelled and finally got to his feet. “You will not.”

“Merlin.” She whispered shaking her head, before finally looking down. “I give you my word.” She said.

oOoOoOo

Arthur rushed toward him as soon as he saw him. “What happened? I felt the connection cut…” Arthur held him as he looked at his injury.

“It was too much power for me to handle.” Merlin said simply.

“But you’re injured.” Arthur said. Morgana said nothing.

“Simple accident.” Merlin said. “So, you’ve won.”

“We won.” Arthur said and reached to cup his face but Merlin pulled away. Arthur seemed confused for a second but then continued. “We won the battle, but not the war. We’ll have to see if after this, father reconsiders.” He said.

“Let’s hope so.” Merlin said softly. Again Arthur tried to hold him but Merlin stepped back.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked with a frown. Merlin shook his head.

“Nothing, sire.” Merlin said simply. “We should get you out of that armour.” Merlin held Arthur’s hand and led him away from the celebrating soldiers. He could feel Morgana’s eyes on him but didn’t turn toward her.

He could only thank the gods that Arthur had not fallen in love with him yet. That way, when he was gone, he wouldn’t be missed. He ignored the way Arthur gave his hand a squeeze, and ignored the way Agravaine smirked at him as they passed.

oOoOoOo

Arthur couldn’t understand it. As the weeks passed, Merlin grew quieter and quieter. Arthur would catch him staring at him intently from time to time, eyes glistening in the candlelight as if about to shed a tear. But before he could ask or take a closer look, Merlin would return to normal, change the subject and avoid him for a couple of hours.

Morgana wouldn’t say anything but she too was acting strange. They’d won the first battle and yet they both looked as if they’d lost the whole war. The following day after the battle, the first snows began to fall and by morning, the fields were covered with white. It would snow overnight ever since.

“It’s deep winter, Morgana’s warmth spells aren’t enough to keep the cold out, so I’ve had thicker blankets come in.” Arthur said, taking them out from the box.

“Where are you getting the funding for all of this?” Merlin asked, caressing the soft white fur of the blanket.

“Bastian of Angevin is helping… though I haven’t called for him he’s trying to remind me that his men are ready when I am.” Arthur said.

“Why didn’t you call for him?” Merlin asked.

Arthur sighed and turned to him, coming closer. Merlin moved away, going to sort something on the table. “…I didn’t want a foreign kingdom involved if I could help it.” Arthur said and frowned as he came closer to Merlin. Merlin walked away to grab a plum from the table that he barely nibbled on.

“Will you call him in spring?” Merlin asked. Arthur came after him once more and just as expected, Merlin moved away.

“I might, with the snows so deep, neither army can tread across properly.” Arthur said. Merlin nodded and moved away again. “Merlin.”

“Hmm?” Merlin was staring at the tapestry on the wall.

“Look at me!” Arthur finally snapped and Merlin flinched, turning to him. “What is the matter with you?” He demanded. “For weeks you’ve been avoiding me! Ever since the battle!”

“No I haven’t.” Merlin said. “Why would I be avoiding you?” Merlin said and Arthur scoffed.

“That’s what I’d very much like to know. I thought you said you forgave me for that stupid comment I made with my uncle.” Arthur said. “He hasn’t disrespected you since… has he?” Arthur asked. Merlin shook his head.

“No. And I _have_ forgiven you Arthur.” Merlin said. “I’m tired… the child is moving too much, I really should try and get some rest.” Merlin moved away once more and slowly got down onto the bed.

Arthur looked away, looking down at the spells Merlin had been practicing earlier. He’d taken to making many protection amulets for when their child arrives. “Merlin… for years you’ve come to me, begging for me to listen to you, to believe you in all your claims. I barely ever listened to you then.” Arthur came closer.

“Arthur, please, I just want to sleep.” Merlin mumbled, his back to him.

“So why won’t you tell me what’s happening this time?” Arthur asked. Merlin still didn’t turn to him and Arthur came closer. “Merlin, please… I’m ready to listen.”

oOoOoOo

Merlin struggled to keep the emotions in as Arthur tried to get him to open up. “Arthur…” He turned to him slowly, keeping the tight pain in his chest from surfacing. “It truly is nothing.” He said reaching up to caress Arthur’s cheek. He reached down and pulled Arthur’s hand to his stomach, where the child was kicking.

Arthur looked down with deep concentration. The child kicked and Arthur’s eyes widened, looking up at Merlin with a look of wonder that made Merlin smile.

“That’s your child.” Merlin said.

“Merlin…” Arthur leaned in and Merlin took in the wonderful sensation of Arthur’s lips over his own.

“You will have to guide him, love him… you have to promise to make him feel loved… or her.” Merlin said.

“Of course, Merlin. We’ll both be there, raising him as the most beloved child in all of Albion.” Arthur said. Merlin couldn’t look him in the eye at that.

“You will make a magnificent king, Arthur.” Merlin whispered. Arthur was already intent in bringing magic back to Camelot. Perhaps… this was where Merlin’s destiny ended. The old religion had no more use for him.

“Why are you crying?” Arthur asked, cupping his face. Merlin shook his head, turning his back to Arthur.

“It’s the child making me emotional.” Merlin used as an excuse. Arthur then gave him what he had been avoiding for weeks but desperately needed. He wrapped his arms from behind and held him close against him.

“Merlin… I lov-”

“Sire?” Called Leon. Merlin felt his whole body remain tense even as Arthur let go to check in with Leon. Merlin pretended he’d misheard. It had to be. Arthur cannot fall in love with him. He couldn’t allow it. He took a few minutes to stop the tears before getting up, wrapping himself with the fur blanket to keep the cold at bay and came out to see Arthur reading a scroll sent from one of Camelot’s messenger doves.

“Father has learned of the location of a dragon’s egg.” Arthur said. “He’s gone with a few men to find it and try and retrieve it.”

“Who told you this?” Merlin asked. A dragon’s egg? He took the note and looked at the signature and almost laughed. “ _George_ is spying for you?” Now he did laugh.

“It’s as much of a surprise to me as anyone’s, Merlin. But, he _is_ a damn good servant, that’s for sure.” Arthur said and turned to him. “He mentions that a man was captured with two pieces of an item called a Triskelion. Father found the remaining piece in the vaults of Camelot.” Arthur said. “Do you have any idea how that could lead him to a dragon’s egg?” Arthur asked.

“No… I don’t know much, really. I didn’t even know there were any dragon eggs left.” Merlin said. “I’ll ask Kilgharrah.”

“There’s no need.” Gaius said entering the tent with Lancelot. “The Triskelion is an ancient artefact said to open the tomb of Ashkanar. It is rumoured that a dragon’s egg was hidden there.” He said.

Merlin’s heart filled with wonder as he smiled at the thought of a dragon’s egg. A chance to bring back the dragons. The part of his soul that recognised Kilgharrah as kin, sang with joy at the call of another dragon.

“Why would Uther go after it?” Merlin asked. Gaius looked serious.

“A dragon’s egg can survive a thousand years without hatching, it has currently been locked away 400. Uther most likely wishes to destroy it.”

“Who knows nowadays? He might just as likely try and use it against us.” Merlin said. “A new dragon…” Merlin smiled softly.

“I’ll prepare a small group of men.” Arthur said and Merlin turned to him, noticing the other had been looking at him intently.

“What for?”

“Merlin, you’re a dragon lord… and you’re… _you_.” Merlin glared at him at the implication. “As much as I would discourage you from it I can just see you making your way after my father to try and get there first.”

Merlin scoffed. “You don’t know that.” He said, unable to keep the amusement from his face.

“Merlin, Merlin, Merlin.” He said in that ‘I know you so well’ voice, holding onto his shoulders. “If there’s something I’ve learned from having you around serving me like a clumsy idiot all these years and the stories you’ve told me so far, is that you’re nothing if not… impulsive.” He said and surprised Merlin by kissing his forehead. “Keep warm.” He said and left with Leon.

Merlin watched him go and turned to Gaius who was busy looking at the child. Merlin looked down, rubbing his stomach.

“There’s no coat thick enough to hide the child away anymore.” Gaius said and Lancelot chuckled.

“I think you look wonderful, Merlin.” Lancelot said. Merlin felt his heart squeeze painfully as he looked at them. He would be leaving Gaius and his friends too.

“Promise me you’ll tell the child about me.” Merlin said softly. Gaius and Lancelot glanced at each other confused.

“Is everything alright, Merlin?” Lancelot asked. Merlin looked away.

“It’s nothing… come on, we have a dragon egg to find.” He said.

“That being said… Merlin… you travelling on horseback… in this condition? You’re little over six moons along, I can’t say I approve.” Gaius said. 

“I’ll spell the horse so it feels like a smooth ride.” Merlin said.

“As long as it feels the same as sitting.” Gaius warned him.

“I’ll make sure.” Merlin said and went to get dressed. He felt excitement for the first time in weeks.

He looked at himself in the looking glass as he went to put on the thick winter dress. There definitely wasn’t the possibility of hiding it anymore.

“How’s the little Pendragon?” Lancelot asked as he came to help Merlin with the coat.

“Active, energetic.” Merlin said. “Thanks Lancelot.” He said looking at himself. “Everything good between you and Gwen?” He asked.

Lancelot looked down sheepishly. “It is… there’s… something between us… something that draws us together. I can’t explain it. I care for her deeply.” Lancelot said. Merlin smiled warmly at that as he looked at him.

“I’m glad you’ve found someone to love so dearly.”

Lancelot smiled. “And you. I’m glad to see you find someone to love who loves you.” He said. Merlin shook his head.

“No, Arthur doesn’t love me and I have to keep it that way.” Merlin said, grabbing his bag and filling it up with random things he might need.

“What are you talking about, Merlin? It’s clear he loves you.”

“No he doesn’t!” Merlin yelled at him. “Arthur can’t love me!”

“Why on earth not? Because you’re a man?” Lancelot exclaimed back.

“Because I’m going to die when I give birth!” Merlin yelled. Suddenly the tent’s front was opened and Leon, Elyan, Percival and Gwaine walked in, looking as confused as Lancelot. Merlin registered what he’d said and gasped, dropping the bag and covering his mouth.

Lancelot shook his head. “No you’re not. Why would you say that?” he asked.

“No, I didn’t say anything.” Merlin said shaking his head.

“Merlin, why did you say that?” Gwaine demanded.

“Oh, I’m so stupid.” Merlin turned his back to them, sobbing and wiping the tears away as they came. He took a deep breath and finally turned to them. “The Sorceress Lana is alive. There has been no sacrifice.” Merlin announced.

“But…”

“No Merlin.”

“We buried her ourselves.” Elyan said, shaking his head.

“How could anyone survive losing that much blood?” Percival asked.

“She’s alive and she’s helping Uther.” Merlin said and placed his hand on his stomach. Everyone looked down, horror at what that meant for Merlin.

“Does Arthur know?” Percival asked.

“No! No one can tell him.” Merlin said looking at them all.

“We have to tell him, Merlin. _You_ have to tell him.” Leon said.

“No, I can’t! I can’t! Arthur can’t know… he’ll feel guilty and try to spend more time with me and I can’t let him…”

“You don’t want him to fall in love with you.” Lancelot finished. Merlin looked up while playing with the ring that Arthur gave him.

“Losing Ygraine crushed Uther… what would that do to Arthur?” Merlin asked softly.

Percival shook his head at that. “Merlin… as a husband and father that I once was, I tell you now, you have no _right_ keeping this from Arthur.” He said.

Merlin felt tears in his eyes and shook his head. “I was _born_ to protect Arthur. I won’t destroy him instead.” He said.

oOoOoOo

Arthur stood quietly outside of the tent, listening to every word. He’d intended to go ask his uncle to prepare for their quest, but thought better of it. Agravaine was not required for this quest, nor wanted. As he came to tell them all that they were ready to go, he heard Merlin’s truth and stayed rooted outside the tent.

“It’s too late for that, Merlin. Arthur already loves you.” He heard Gwaine say.

“No, no he doesn’t, he can’t.”

“Staying in denial doesn’t change the truth!” Gwaine insisted.

“If this _title_ as _prince_ means anything to anyone then you won’t tell Arthur anything.” Merlin snapped. Arthur turned, looking up to see Morgana staring at him, waiting for him to respond.

He took a deep shaky breath as tears blurred his vision. Morgana sighed coming to play with his hair.

“What a sad sight you two make.” She said softly. Arthur moved back and looking at his sister intently.

“When the time comes… you will take my life.” Arthur said. Morgana chuckled. “This is no laughing matter, Morgana.” He said.

“Yes it is. It won’t be necessary.” She said. “Because when the time comes, I will personally drag that wench by her hair to the isle of the blessed and slit her throat before the gods.” She said simply.

“Your highness.” Leon called and Arthur made sure his grief didn’t show on his face as he turned around. Merlin stepped out of the tent, hiding his emotions well, but now that Arthur knew, he could see straight through the façade.

“Morgana, you shall stay in charge.” Arthur declared and Morgana nodded. He came up to Merlin, but instead of confronting him with what he now knew, he leaned down and kissed him deeply. “Let’s go steal a dragon’s egg.” Arthur said. Merlin managed to smile at that and nodded.

The knights all looked at each other then at Morgana and back again. It was clear as day to them all the feelings between the two. As Arthur turned to them and asked them if they were ready to go, instead of telling him Merlin’s fate, they all bowed and made for the horses.

He held Merlin’s hand a little tighter and moved to help him onto the horse.


	21. Chapter 21

The path was treacherous. The snow was deep and the horses would struggle getting through the terrain… had they not Merlin on their side.

Arthur was a little bit dumbfounded as he watched Merlin melt the path before them with a single magical sentence and a glow of his eyes. It almost seemed that every time he saw him perform magic he was still surprised.

“Sir?” Leon asked softly as Merlin rode slightly ahead to melt the snow.

“Hmm?” Arthur wondered if the size of the baby hurt Merlin, every now and again he’d see him wince, but it was very rarely.

“Sir.” Leon tried again.

“What is it, sir Leon?” Arthur asked, glancing at him.

“Are you sure this trip is wise? What if Merlin gets hurt?” He asked.

“If father gets to the dragon egg first he could use it against us, or worse, destroy it.” Arthur said.

“True, but if Uther has left Camelot, isn’t it the perfect time to advance and take it?” Gwaine asked.

“Sounds like a great idea…” Arthur said looking at all of them. “Are we all in agreement that we turn around and march the army to Camelot?” He asked. The knights nodded and Arthur nodded. “Perfect. You can decide which one of you tells Merlin.”

Everyone shut up and focused on the road ahead. They made camp under the protection of a cavern entrance, where the snow had not reached and the cold winds could be hidden from. He noticed Merlin take out a handheld book with blank pages. A third of it had already been written in.

When he finished, Arthur saw him struggling to get up and came closer, offering him his hand. Merlin looked at his hand as if considering his options before taking it and getting on his feet.

“Gaius says I’m going to get even bigger… how am I going to be able to do anything later on if I can barely stand up now?” Merlin grumbled.

“Merlin, you have the most important task in the world right now. If you struggle, I will be right there to help you.” Arthur said, threading his fingers with Merlin’s, leaning in to kiss him. Merlin hesitated and turned his head away. Arthur smiled and kissed him on the cheek softly. “What’s that you’re writing?” Arthur asked.

“Oop, look at the time, I should start dinner.” Merlin said, heading for the fire.

“That won’t be necessary, Merlin.” Leon said.

“Yeah, we can cook.” Gwaine shrugged.

“Right… it may be the worst time to break all your little notions of yourselves, but none of you can cook.” Merlin said. The knights turned to him, affronted.

“I most certainly _can_.” Elyan said. “I’ve lived for years on my own.”

“As have I.” Lancelot said.

“And what about me?” Gwaine said.

“I admit it, I cannot.” Leon said. “Last time I tried to boil some potatoes they disintegrated in the water.” He winced at the memory.

“I remember that, a little salt and it would have been fine.” Percival said with a shrug.

“See Merlin? Naturals.” Arthur said with a shrug.

“Oh, don’t even get me started on _you_. Don’t _make_ me tell everyone about the time you tried to cook a whole chicken with a glare alone.”

“Dear god, Merlin, who knew you’d be so mean while pregnant?” Gwaine teased and Merlin’s eyes glowed with magic. A few minutes later, Gwaine was buried just outside under the snow and all the knights had allowed Merlin to continue.

Arthur refused to let him continue on his own and knelt by his side.

“What are you doing?” Merlin asked as he took out the ingredients, water already boiling.

“You want to make fun about cooking, then teach me.” Arthur said simply. Merlin looked at him concerned but Arthur wasn’t going to let Merlin bully him away.

“Fine.” Merlin said amused. “You can help me peel the potatoes.” Merlin said and handed Arthur a knife.

“I can do it, easy.” He said, starting to copy Merlin. However, while Merlin’s potato peels came quickly and thinly, Arthur’s came thick and slowly. “Alright, maybe it’s a little harder than I anticipated.”

Merlin took the potato from his hands and finished it off, cutting it to smaller pieces directly into the pan. “Just goes to show that you should never contradict me.” Merlin smiled at him. Arthur smiled back, looking at him endearingly. It must have shown too clearly on his face because Merlin hesitantly looked back at his work and kept cooking. Arthur helped out where he could, enjoying Merlin’s little jabs at Arthur’s hopelessness.

Arthur watched Merlin closely, almost missing the way the knights were looking at him. As if they wanted to tell him the truth but had no clue how to even start. At some point Gwaine crawled back in, shivering and pale, warming up slowly as they all ate.

“Thank you, Merlin. It was delicious.” Arthur said, taking Merlin’s plate.

“Um…”

“I believe the expected response is ‘you’re welcome’.” Arthur said.

“No, I know. It’s just so strange hearing you say it.” Merlin teased. “You shocked me into silence.” Merlin said. Arthur reached out to caress Merlin’s cheek and Merlin broke eye contact, his smile flickering away.

“It’s time for a story.” Arthur declared. What Merlin didn’t know was that some of their stories, Gaius had already told him when Arthur asked him. “How about you tell me the story of the Questing Beast? I was close to death then, wasn’t I?” Arthur asked.

“Was Arthur’s recovery your doing?” Leon asked in awe at Merlin who seemed to look away. Arthur knew this story would hit him harder. Gaius mentioned it was a time where his absolute loyalty to Arthur shone through.

“I…”

“Come on Merlin, I want to hear it.” Percival said and Merlin glanced at Arthur, looking uncertain.

“As do I, don’t be a spoilsport Merlin.” Arthur declared.

“Well… when Arthur was bitten, Gaius told me that there was no cure. The poison would kill Arthur.” Merlin said. “I learned of the isle of the blessed. Apparently I could pay a price in order to save Arthur.” He said. “Gaius told me not to go. Told me the price could be too great.” Merlin said and stared at the fire, rubbing his stomach slowly. “I said I would pay any price to save Arthur.” He said.

Arthur felt the tightness in his chest as Merlin’s eyes filled with such determination.

“There I made a deal with Nimueh. She had tried to hurt Camelot before but… I had to save Arthur. She told me a life had to be given, I offered my life in exchange for Arthur’s, gladly.” He said looking directly at Arthur when he said that. “I brought water from the cup of life and gave it to Arthur. He recovered and I prepared myself to go surrender my life.” Merlin said.

“So when you came to see me, you were saying goodbye.” Arthur said softly. Merlin looked up at him with tears in his eyes, jaw set, trying to keep the emotion at bay but failing miserably as he gave a stiff nod.

“I… afterward…”

“No.” Arthur stopped him. “Tell me what you said then.” Arthur said.

“Wh-why?” Merlin asked.

“Storytelling purposes.” Arthur said, pointing at the rest of the audience, who were watching them both intently. “You came in, requesting to talk.” Arthur said. “You asked how I was doing. I said fine.”

Merlin managed to smile. “You told me you were the one that decided when we talk, I said not this time.”

“And you called me a prat.”

“A royal one.”

“Insulting me _again_.” Arthur pointed out. “It almost sounded like you were quitting and then you told me… you were happy to be my servant… till the day you died.” He said. Merlin looked at him intently and nodded. It was almost like Arthur could now read perfectly between the lines, because with that look alone, Merlin was trying to say the same again. “You were going to leave, and never explain. You’d leave me thinking you were still alive, and just left, irresponsibly. You’d let me believe that you were a liar and weren’t true to your word.” Arthur said, accusing. Merlin looked away, more tears forming. “But that was then, I’m glad I know now, how loyal you can be.” Arthur said simply.

“I am.” Merlin said looking at him.

“I’m glad next time you have to say goodbye you’ll say it to my face.” Arthur said, looking intently at Merlin, who began to look at the knights nervously. “It means so much to me, that the person I care most for in this world, is able to rely on me so much.” Arthur said. “I can’t imagine how much of a failure I would feel like if you didn’t feel you could rely on me. Good thing that’s not the case.” Arthur stood and walked out, needing to get some fresh air.

oOoOoOo

Merlin stared at the fire, tears still blurring his vision. “He knows. How?” Merlin whispered. The knights shook their heads. It was clear they didn’t know.

“You should go to him.” Lancelot said softly. Merlin looked down and reached up, Lancelot taking his hand and helping him to his feet.

Arthur was just outside the cave, staring at the snow coming down, covering their tracks. He turned to look at him and Merlin felt a knot form at the back of his throat, seeing Arthur’s dejected expression as he looked away.

“Arthur…”

“Yes, Merlin?” Arthur asked, loudly and clearly, turning to look at him, waiting for him to continue.

“The sorceress that started this whole mess, Lana, she’s working for your father.” Merlin said.

“How unfortunate. My father resorting to magic and from an evil sorcerer.” He once more declared, clearly not giving a damn about that part of it.

“We all assumed the old religion took her life in exchange for the child… but she’s alive. There’s been no life given… yet.” Merlin said. Arthur came closer to him and Merlin had to look away, unable to keep eye-contact with him. “When the child is born… I’ll likely die.” He said, looking up, tears in his eyes.

“Are you crying for you?” Arthur asked softly. Merlin sobbed and shook his head.

“I’m crying for you. I’m going to bring you even more pain.” Merlin whispered. “Even if you don’t love me… I know that-”

“I love you, Merlin.” Merlin looked up at him horrified. “I love you, dearly. Even if I didn’t, you’ve still meant more to me than anyone else in the world for… months, years!” Arthur exclaimed holding onto Merlin’s shoulders. “Don’t you get it? My life seemed to start the moment you stepped into it.”

“I’m sorry.” Merlin whispered. Arthur leaned into him and Merlin let him. He kissed Arthur with as much desperation as the other was holding him in return.

“We’ll find a way around it… I’m not letting you leave me.” Arthur said simply, holding him close. Merlin sobbed.

“But if I do.”

“You _won’t_.”

“But if I _do_!” Merlin insisted. “You’ll tell the child about me?”

“Merlin. I’m not my father… of course I would.” He said. “But you’re not going anywhere.” Arthur said. “You’re my best friend and the person I love most in this world. I’m not about to let the old religion take you.” Arthur said. “After we get the dragon egg, we’ll properly look into solutions.”

Merlin looked down, feeling the child under his hand. Arthur’s hand came to rest over his and Merlin closed his eyes, their foreheads pressed together.

“I love you, Arthur.” Merlin whispered for the second time in his life.

“I know.” Arthur said and kissed him again.

oOoOoOo

Uther stared at the enormous tower appearing into view. Truly a structure of majesty, as high as a mountain. No doubt built with magic itself. Despicable.

“Are you sure the sorcerer will come to us?” He asked, addressing the sorceress he’d had to accept help from.

“Absolutely, your majesty.” She said. “A dragon lord is duty bound to protect dragons. He’ll come.”

Uther looked away from her in disgust. To think he had to lower himself to accept such a thing’s help. The woman had come to his court after Arthur declared war to him. She offered to help, supposedly believing in Uther’s plight to rid the world of magic. As if he would believe such a boldfaced lie. However, he had no choice the moment practically half of Camelot’s army deserted their king in favour of their crown prince. If it had been just the younger knights that walked away maybe he would have blamed their youth, but no. A great number of them weren’t.

The most shocking alliance had been Agravaine. They had barely spoken since Ygraine’s death, but when he offered to join forces with him to bring Arthur back home, Uther was genuinely surprised and grateful. Ygraine would have wanted the two of them to reconcile, he knew that.

He had to kill Merlin. That boy was the cause of this whole mess. Arthur would never have dreamed of opposing him otherwise.


	22. Chapter 22

“Merlin, are we lost?” Arthur asked for the third time. Merlin sighed looking around the forest. 

“We might be.” He said softly.

“How are we supposed to find a tomb that no one knows where it is?” Gwaine asked. 

“I could feel something… but it’s gone.” Merlin said looking down. 

“It’s getting dark, we should make camp, resume our search tomorrow.” Arthur said and Merlin nodded. When they dismounted the horse, Merlin had to turn to Arthur and Leon for help to get off the horse. His ride may be cushioned by a spell, but the horse was still too high for him to be jumping off from. 

“Nice and slowly, there we go.” Leon said as Merlin placed his feet on the ground. “Are you alright, feeling well?” Leon asked and Merlin smiled as Leon started mothering him again. 

“I’m fine, thank you.” Merlin said and Leon gave a slight bow, which amused Merlin greatly. Arthur, placed his hand over Merlin’s stomach and Merlin held his hand in place, leaning in to kiss Arthur.

To say that Arthur seemed worlds happier now that Merlin was letting himself be affectionate toward his husband was an understatement. Arthur’s little smiles after they kissed, his smiles at the memories Merlin brought up while telling his stories, his affectionate speeches to their child at night when the little one was so restless that Merlin couldn’t sleep. It almost seemed like they’d been walking on a cloud, a dream. Almost as if the war wasn’t taking place. Almost as if they were on a simple quest like they used to go on. 

Except now Merlin could barely stand up on his own without struggling, getting on and off the horse was a quest in and of itself and the looming cloud of death still hovered above Merlin like a persistent smog that wouldn’t let up. 

Snow had ceased falling now, and the distinctive cool, but no longer icy, breeze of spring was beginning to blow in their direction. 

Merlin shifted in his dress, somewhat uncomfortable. “What’s wrong?” Arthur asked. “You’ve been fidgeting more than usual.” Arthur said. Merlin sighed. 

“The dress… it only just about fit me when we left the camp.” Merlin said. “It’s too tight.” Merlin said, looking away, feeling a twinge of embarrassment. 

“It’s only been two weeks, Merlin. How big are you getting?” Gwaine asked. Merlin buried him in the snow again. 

Arthur looked down at the child and made a quick motion for the knights to turn around. “Turn around, Merlin.” He said. Merlin took off his coat and moved his hair out of the way. “Your hair’s gotten longer too.” Arthur said. Merlin shuddered slightly as he felt Arthur’s fingers undoing the dress. It had been so long since they’d been intimate and the memories just made his face heat up. Specially since they tended to come to him at the most inopportune moments. 

He sighed with relief as he felt the dress loosen enough to stop the restriction on his stomach. 

“Better?” Arthur asked. Merlin nodded. He was about to turn around when he felt Arthur’s lips against his neck and the other’s arms wrap around his body. “We’ll have to get you new clothes when we get back.” He said. 

“I’m going to end up being your greatest expense in this war by the time the child is born.” Merlin said annoyed. 

“Well, after also. I’m going to have to get you a whole new wardrobe, befitting the king’s consort.” Arthur said letting Merlin turn and kissing him deeply. 

“Consort…” Merlin felt that familiar heat on his face. It was all good accepting these titles while he was a woman… but what would people actually say when he returns to being a man? Assuming he lives to see the day. 

“I am so cold.” Gwaine shuddered as he marched past them, effectively breaking the mood. Merlin stepped back, smiling at Arthur and going to sit by the fire. 

“Maybe you should watch your words next time, sir Gwaine.” Arthur said.

“What are the rules, Gwaine?” Percival prompted. 

“No mentioning of size…” Gwaine said, feeling reprimanded and Merlin pressed his lips together, trying not to show his amusement as the knights told Gwaine off. 

Luckily, they had learned enough from Merlin to make simple meals. At the moment they all feasted on slices of bread with roasted meat from the hares they’d caught on their trail earlier. Gwaine made the tea.

As Merlin finished and sip on the tea, he felt a connection and his heart skipped a beat.

“Emrys…” He looked to the left trying to see from where he was being called. “Emrys…”

“What do you want?” Merlin asked and everyone around the fire stopped what they were doing, looking up at him. 

“Merlin?” Arthur asked. 

“Emrys…” Merlin stood up slowly and a group of figures seemed to appear from between the trees. 

“It’s Iseldir.” Merlin said. 

“One of the druid elders.” Lancelot said and stood, looking ahead. The druids came toward them and Merlin came up to Arthur, standing beside him as the druids approached. 

“Emrys.” Iseldir greeted. “Prince Arthur, we know what you seek and have come to warn you.” 

“About the tomb of Ashkanar?” Merlin asked. “Uther is on his way there. We can’t let him get the dragon’s egg first.” 

“The Triskelion does indeed open the tomb, but the legends say it is also a trap.” Iseldir said. 

“Uther’s being helped by the sorceress Lana.” Merlin said. Iseldir visibly tensed and glanced down at Merlin’s stomach. 

“So there’s been no sacrifice.” He said. Merlin shook his head. 

“You cannot be the one to die.” Iseldir said. 

“I don’t think there’s much choice.” Merlin said softly. 

“Do you know of a solution?” Arthur asked Iseldir who kept staring at the child. “Someone else can take Merlin’s place, correct? I could.” Iseldir looked down. 

“No you won’t, Arthur.” Merlin said glaring at him. 

“There may be an alternative, requiring no death.” Merlin looked at him surprised. “Someone will need to perform the appropriate prayers. When the child start’s pressing, you should come to the isle of the blessed, I will be in there. The child must be born in the isle.” Iseldir said sternly. 

“We’ll be there.” Arthur nodded. “And for the tomb?” 

Iseldir pointed to the East. “You’re not far from the entrance. You must go beyond the point that seems to go no more. I will see you soon, Emrys.” Iseldir said and turned, disappearing with his group. 

“See, I told you.” Arthur said, patting Merlin on the shoulder. “There had to be a solution and we found it.”

“We still don’t know what Iseldir has planned. There may still be a price to pay.” Merlin said, rubbing his stomach. 

“Dragon first, birthing later.” Arthur said, turning toward the men, updating them on the plans. It seemed he was sure this would work, whatever it was that Iseldir had planned. 

oOoOoOo

First thing in the morning, they headed east. Arthur was very hesitant to enter the cavern. The footing would be slippery and uneven, not really the ideal place for a pregnant person to walk. But in the end, Merlin won out. 

Arthur should know better than to argue with him by now. Merlin seemed to always be right. Sure enough, light shone at the end of the darkened cave. 

“Ooh, watch your step, Merlin.” Lancelot said, holding his hand. 

“Slippery there.” Elyan said, holding onto his elbow. 

“Almost there.” Percival said, holding his shoulders from behind.

“Careful!” Gwaine said holding onto his other elbow. 

“That’s it, Merlin.” Leon said holding his other hand. 

Merlin seemed only too grateful when they got out of the cave. 

“Get off me! Idiots.” Merlin grumbled. At times he seemed to find their overprotectiveness endearing. But at the moment it looked like he just wanted to rip their heads off. “Thank god, there it is.” Merlin sighed and marched onwards in the direction of the enormous tower. 

Arthur came up to walk beside him. “You seem to be in a fine mood this morning my love.” 

“Don’t call me that.” Merlin said. 

“Why not?” Arthur asked. 

“It’s… unbearable coming from you. All it brings to mind is every time you’ve been enchanted. Sounds fake, basically.” Merlin said. 

“Come on, Merlin, what’s really upsetting you?” Arthur asked. 

“What’s really upsetting me is that your child keeps kicking me in the ribs. It hurts.” Merlin said. “Plus I just spent the entire cave getting manhandled. I felt like an uncoordinated spider.” 

“We’re all only trying to help you. You’re a man, we know this can’t be easy for you. Magic or not.” He said reaching to hold Merlin’s hand. Merlin looked down briefly before squeezing his hand in return. 

“I just have a bad feeling.” Merlin said. “Since Iseldir left… I just can’t shake the feeling.” He said. “What did he mean by the Triskelion being a trap?” 

“If there’s a trap, my father is likely to set it off before us.” Arthur said. 

“How do you know?” Merlin asked, looking at Arthur with a frown. Arthur pointed ahead, where smoke from a campsite could be seen. “They’re here.” 

oOoOoOo

Merlin walked slowly and stealthily down the forest path. It was so impressive that Arthur was now convinced that Merlin had probably been sabotaging their hunting expeditions for years now. 

“How are you so silent?” Arthur whispered, as they sneaked toward the camp. 

“Magic.” Merlin whispered.

Arthur chuckled, shaking his head. “And here I thought you were secretly stealthy.” 

“The clumsy idiot part is all me.” Merlin chuckled. 

“Shh!” Arthur whispered and they ducked behind a bush. 

“Flirt later.” Gwaine whispered, being the first to go ahead. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have come, look at you, you’re heavy with child.” Arthur whispered.

“Keep talking and I’ll bury you under the snow too.” Merlin whispered, letting Arthur help him along. “Beside… I can sense it… the Triskelion.” He said looking at the tents. “There…” He whispered. 

Arthur nodded and motioned to the knights. Father’s knights were easy to knock out and soon they sneaked into the tent. Merlin hurried to the box on the table, opening it to find the magical shape humming in a frequency only he could hear. 

“Got it.” Merlin smiled. 

“Lets go.” Arthur whispered and led Merlin away. 

oOoOoOo

“That was easier than expected, considering father has a sorceress helping him.” Arthur said. Merlin looked at the Triskelion intently. 

“We can’t think about that for now, lets go to the tomb before they realise the key is gone.” Elyan said. 

“What about the trap?” Lancelot asked. 

“We’ll just have to be careful.” Merlin said. 

Getting to the tomb entrance was surprisingly easy. As Merlin slipped the Triskelion into the slot, he felt a stroke of danger and looked back. 

“What is it?” Lancelot asked, looking behind, all their weapons drawn. 

“I thought I felt something…” He said and turned to the key once more. He placed his hand on it and began to turn it. A loud ‘click’ was heard and the door opened inwards. 

Merlin took a deep breath, trying to control his racing heart. He stepped closer and opened the door fully, making his way inside. 

The smoke came out of nowhere. He didn’t have time to chant any spell. He barely had time to blink and yet, a pale golden orb extended from him, shielding him and the knights from the smoke around them. 

Merlin gasped, raising his hand and casing a breeze to get rid of the smoke. Only when that was resolved did the glow vanish. 

“That was amazing, Merlin.” Leon said. 

“It wasn’t me…” Merlin whispered, still trying to catch his breath as he looked at his stomach and felt the baby. 

“The child did this? It can’t be.” Arthur said. 

“And yet… it felt like its magic…” Merlin said softly. Arthur opened his mouth to argue but it seemed there were no words he could say to that. 

“We should continue.” Gwaine said. Arthur cupped Merlin’s cheek and nodded. As they made their way inside, they didn’t notice Uther and his own knights blocking the exit. They didn’t notice them advancing into the tower, quietly, after them.


	23. Chapter 23

They made their way past the mountains of treasure that awaited them. Merlin led the way, starting to go up the stairs at the end of the treasure room.

A brightened hall that stretched farther than all of the city of Camelot came into view. The windows allowed the sunlight to beam down on a blue-grey egg. The only contents of the entire floor.

“Is that it?” Lancelot asked. Merlin nodded slowly, stepping closer to the egg, smiling tenderly at it. It made Arthur’s heart warm with affection as he saw the wonder if Merlin’s expression.

“Finally, we can bring back such a noble creature.” Merlin said softly.

“Not on my watch.”

oOoOoOo

Merlin turned, glaring at Uther as he came in with three times the men that they had. Lana entered, smirking as she watched them, trapped.

“Father…” Arthur took out his sword and stood by Merlin protectively. Uther was staring at Merlin’s distended stomach seemingly at loss for words.

“There’s no denying it now, is there.” He said and narrowed his eyes at Arthur. “Surrender Arthur. You’re outnumbered.” Uther said.

“Remember your promise, Uther. I get the child when it’s born.” Lana said, smirking at Merlin. Merlin felt his heart stop and shook his head.

“I’m not letting you put your filthy hands on my child.” Merlin hissed.

“You’ll have no choice, the moment that child takes its first breath, you’ll die.” Lana said plainly. Uther looked up at Arthur shocked and then scoffed.

“I told you not to side with magic, Arthur.”

“That’s rich coming from you, isn’t it, father? You’re siding with the same woman that captured us and put Merlin in this position in the first place!” Arthur yelled. Uther turned to Lana in disgust.

“ _You_ caused this whole mess?” Uther yelled.

“That is irrelevant. The past cannot be changed. Here I have helped you capture not only the last Dragon Lord and a dragon egg, but your very own son to take back to Camelot.” Lana said. “You should be thankful.”

“We’ll talk about that later, capture them!” Uther declared.

Merlin glared at them. He raised his hands, eyes glowing as his magic blasted back all fifteen men, throwing back Uther and Lana also. Arthur stared at him in shock.

“Come on!” Percival exclaimed. Merlin turned and grabbed the egg, everyone freezing as the tower began to come down.

“RUN!” Arthur yelled as they stormed for the exit.

“Arthur!” They heard Uther yell and come after them.

“Run faster!” Gwaine yelled.

“Easy for you to say!” Merlin yelled, feeling out of breath. The moment they ran out of the tower and got the first taste of fresh air, Merlin felt an arrow whiz past his face.

It hit someone behind him with a thud and a grunt of pain. Panic settled in Merlin’s heart as he cried out, blasting the remaining soldiers away, turning back, seeing an arrow imbedded in Arthur’s shoulder, in between his armour.

“Arthur…” Merlin whispered.

“I’m fine! Keep running!” Arthur yelled, through the pain, Percival and Lancelot helping to pull Arthur along as the tower crumbled behind them.

They stopped for a moment once it seemed safe. Merlin managed to see Lana, Uther and a handful of knights make it out alive. He took fast breaths, finding it difficult to fill his lungs with air.

“Arthur…” He gasped, more worried about his injuries than anything else.

“Merlin! Deep breaths.” Percival exclaimed.

“Merlin?” Arthur said.

Merlin could feel his vision blurring as he tried to breathe. “I can’t… I…”

“Running in this state… he’s having trouble catching his breath.” Percival said. Merlin tried to nod but he was feeling dizzy. “Slow, deep, breaths.” Percival repeated somewhere close to him and he began to follow Percival’s advice. It seemed to take forever, but finally he managed to look up, confident that he wouldn’t pass out.

“Arthur!” Merlin whispered and came to his side.

“I’m fine, I’m fine...” Arthur said. Merlin looked at the bleeding wound that still had the arrow inside.

“Any chance you can heal it when we remove the arrow?” Leon asked. Merlin shook his head.

“I’m not really good at healing spells.” Merlin said softly.

“It’s fine, I’ve had worse.” Arthur said.

“We should get to a safer place first.” Leon said. “Then we treat you, Arthur.”

“Come on, Merlin.” Percival said, taking the lead in making sure Merlin was alright as they hurried through the forest.

It was only once they’d passed back out of the waterfall and hid their tracks through the forest that they set up camp.

“Arthur…” Merlin rushed to his side, holding his hand while the knights removed the other’s armour.

“It went clean through the arm…” Leon said.

Arthur nodded. “Pull it out.” He said, settling on his knees as did Merlin. “Merlin… hold me steady.” Arthur said and Merlin leaned in, hugging him tight, keeping him still. Arthur held onto him with his good arm. Leon grabbed the arrow firmly and yanked it out in one fluid motion. “AGH! NNH!” Arthur took quick breaths.

“Arthur… it’s done, it’s done.” Merlin said, holding onto Arthur while Leon and Lancelot patched Arthur up as best they could.

“I need a physician. We should get back to Gaius as quick as we can. It’s going to be a long enough journey as it is, we best part immediately.” Arthur said.

“I could call Kilgharrah.” Merlin said.

“I am not riding that thing.” Arthur said strictly. Merlin sighed.

“Don’t be stubborn.”

“I am _not_ riding the blasted dragon.” Arthur repeated. “We’re riding back and that’s final.” He said.

“Fine.” Merlin huffed and stood, with difficulty. “Lets get on the horses then.”

oOoOoOo

They made it back just as Merlin started his seventh moon. The sight that greeted them was not a pretty one. It looked like there had been a battle they hadn’t been invited to.

“Morgana!” Merlin said with worry.

“Find my sister.” Arthur said and the knights spread out. Merlin stayed with Arthur, leading him to Gaius’ tent. Thankfully the physician was doing fine, helping some of the injured from the battle.

Morgana was there too, helping with healing magic.

“Arthur!” She said surprised and came to help him.

“Morgana, what happened here?” Arthur asked while a couple of soldiers helped get Arthur lying down on one of the sick beds.

“We were ambushed a few days after you left. We won, but we lost a good number of men.” Morgana said.

“At least a thousand.” Agravaine said and Merlin tensed, hearing his voice.

“Lord Agravaine saved me, Arthur. He was the real hero of this battle. Without him, we would have probably lost more lives.” Morgana said.

“Is that so?” Arthur asked, impressed. Merlin narrowed his eyes at Agravaine.

“I really did very little, Arthur.” He said. Agravaine turned to Merlin. “My prince, I wanted to take the chance to apologise. I’ve treated you unfairly.” Well, _that_ was a surprise.

“So you admit that you’re working with Lana?” Merlin demanded.

“What? No, of course not.” He said. “I treated you unfairly before because… you brought up painful memories. My little sister was in your position once upon a time. She didn’t have a husband willing to do so much for her. I suppose it just caused a bitter seed to grow in my heart. For that I offer my apologies.” He said.

Merlin opened his mouth to call him out on many things but Arthur intervened.

“Thank you uncle. I’m sure Merlin appreciates the apology. We owe you so much.” Arthur said.

Merlin scoffed. “You can’t be serious. You trust him now?” Merlin demanded.

“He saved my life, Merlin.” Morgana said with a frown.

“Morgana… we can’t trust him.” Merlin said.

“I understand, I will leave at first light, Arthur. It’s only right.” Agravaine said.

“No, it’s not. Merlin, apologise.”

“Why should I?” Merlin demanded.

“Because you’re accusing an ally with no proof.” Arthur said, anger in his voice. “An ally who’s proven himself our saviour.”

Merlin shook his head, glaring at Agravaine.

“Merlin!” Arthur snapped. Merlin took a deep breath, lowering his arms to his sides and inclining his head to Agravaine.

“I apologise.” Merlin said. The words tasted like bile.

“There.” Arthur said and turned to Agravaine. “Let there be no further animosity between us.” Arthur took Agravaine’s arm and gave it a firm shake. Agravaine smiled and inclined his head to Arthur.

“Your highness.” He said.

Merlin kept looking at the ground. He knew if he looked up he’d end up blasting someone with his magic. He let his hands rest on his stomach, the baby moving restless, sensing its mother’s stress. Arthur tried to reach for his hand but Merlin only stared at him coldly and turned his back, storming out of there, going to his tent.

He paced the tent for a few minutes before deciding on what to do. Finally he sat down and took out his book, continuing writing where he’d left of. Even if they might never need it, writing things down would help him calm down.

“Well, well.” Merlin tensed, looking up to see Agravaine there, smirking at him.

“Get out, or I’ll make you.” Merlin warned.

“Will you? Arthur won’t like that. He’d never believe your side of the story.” Agravaine came round to his chair and Merlin tensed, not knowing what to do.

“He will know the truth about you at some point.” Merlin said. He felt Agravaine’s finger’s grip onto the roots of his hair, pulling painfully, making Merlin turn his head toward him. “NNH!”

“You shouldn’t address me like that. I’m a lord… and you are a prince by marriage, but you’re really nothing. Your marriage is not valid if you truly become a man.” Agravaine hissed. Merlin flinched trying to pull away from him but Agravaine gripped his hair harder.

“All the ceremony was made in male terms, I am married to Arthur whether you like it or not.” Merlin hissed.

“You’ll be gone from this world soon enough.” He smirked. Merlin didn’t tell him what the druids told him. “Now, address me properly.” Agravaine hissed.

“Address you how? You creep.” Merlin hissed. Agravaine grabbed onto his neck with his free hand, squeezing painfully.

“I am a lord, address me properly.”

Merlin whimpered, wanting to do nothing more than blast the traitor back. He felt the child’s magic flaring up but he stopped it from manifesting. “Yes, my Lord.” He gasped. Agravaine released his neck but kept the painful grip of his hair.

“You are nothing. You are nothing more than a monster.” Agravaine hissed.

“Yes… my lord.” Merlin growled and Agravaine finally released him, storming off, smirking widely, looking very pleased with himself.

Merlin gasped as he reached up, trying to soothe his sore scalp with his fingers. He felt his neck, which didn’t feel as bad but his heart was still racing.

The bitter seed of betrayal burned in his chest. Arthur had made him apologise to that despicable man. No, it wasn’t Arthur’s fault, or Morgana’s. Agravaine was a master of manipulation. It was Merlin who seemed unreasonable in this situation. Not to mention… they needed Agravaine’s men. Now more than ever.

Merlin took a deep breath, trying to calm the ache in his chest. He returned back to his book and kept writing.

oOoOoOo

Arthur sighed as he stared at his tent, standing just outside, wondering what he should do about Merlin. He remembered what his uncle had said.

_“Sir, with all due respect, Merlin must learn that you are the ruler. If I was anyone else, such an accusation could cause undue strife in your attempt to claim back Camelot.” He warned._

_“It won’t happen again, Uncle.”_

_“You should make sure of that. If other Lords start thinking that his word is worth more than them without proof? Some Lords may just turn their back to you. You’d lose this war and lose him in the process. You know your father would not spare him.” Agravaine had said and it was true._

Arthur sighed, entering the tent, finding Merlin, writing on that book he’d let no one else read. Merlin looked up, looking tense, relaxing only when he realised it was him.

“We have to talk.” Arthur said. Merlin put his quill down and slammed the book shut.

“Let me guess… you’re here to yell at me for being so disrespectful to Agravaine. You’re here to yell at me for almost sabotaging an alliance with no proof and are here to demand that I know my place and not speak out of line again.” Merlin said.

“Well… when you say it like that, it sounds rather…”

“Don’t worry, your royal highness. I won’t speak out of line again. I will be polite, quiet, un-opinionated. The perfect wife.” Merlin said coldly.

Arthur stared at him for a long time. “I don’t want that.”

“Well it’s what you’re getting until you realise the truth about Agravaine. But I’m done trying to be the one to get you to see it.” Merlin said.

“Merlin…” Arthur said softly, coming to Merlin’s side.

“Yes, sire?” He asked. Arthur sighed, knowing it would take a whole lot more than usual to get Merlin to forgive him.

“We should ask the great dragon what we should do with the egg now.” He tried instead.

“Sounds like an excellent idea, your highness.” He said. Arthur cringed and looked away.

“Good, I’ll wait for you then.”

“Certainly, my Lord.” Arthur frowned and walked away.

oOoOoOo

Merlin placed the dragon’s egg before Kilgharrah, who looked at it with happiness and wonder.

“Looks like you’re no longer the last of your kind.” Merlin said, happy at Kilgharrah’s joy.

“Looks like it, young Warlock.” He said. Merlin looked down at the egg and then back up.

“When will it hatch?” Merlin asked.

“A drago’s egg hatches once a Dragon Lord gives it a name. Being the last Dragon Lord, this task now rests on your shoulders.” Kilgharrah said. Merlin looked down at the egg, staring at it. “I wonder, is there a problem between you and your destiny?”

Merlin turned to look at Arthur who remained a distance away while Merlin spoke to Kilgharrah.

“Something like that.” Merlin said.

“I’m sure it will all turn out well in the end.” Kilgharrah said. Merlin scoffed.

“Agravaine is an enemy to Arthur, but I have no proof, so I’m not believed.” Merlin said rubbing his stomach gently.

“I’m sure deep down Arthur does trust you, Merlin. Have faith.”

Merlin could only remember the way Agravaine had come to taunt him while he was alone and took a deep breath before nodding.

“Now come, the dragon is awaiting a name.” Merlin turned back to the egg and smiled, closing his eyes, trying to feel for the name.

“…Aithusa.”


	24. Chapter 24

Merlin called to it with his dragon call and opened his eyes at the sound of a crack. He watched the small white dragon make its way out of the shell, chirping sweetly. A smile spread across Merlin’s face, tears coming to his eyes in awe at the creature coming into the world.

“A white dragon is a rare sight indeed. This bodes well, young Warlock. This good omen is proof enough to me that the prophecy will be fulfilled. Have faith in the future and your destiny will prevail.” Kilgharrah said and Merlin nodded, reaching down to pick up the small creature.

Aithusa crawled up his arm and settled on his shoulder, purring as it nipped on his hair, pulling softly. Merlin smiled and pet its head gently before turning to Kilgharrah.

“Will it stay with you from now on?” Merlin asked.

“It would be the safest option. Until magic is properly restored to the land of Albion.” Kilgharrah said. “It must learn how to be a dragon, before it can learn how to be with humans.” Merlin nodded at that, smiling at Aithusa’s sweet nature.

“I’ll see you soon, Aithusa.” Merlin said. Kilgharrah gave a little rumble of his throat and Aithusa chirped, flying up to perch on Kilgarrah’s chest, burrowing under one of the older dragon’s scales, which lifted as if designed to hold a smaller dragon safe in flight.

oOoOoOo

Arthur watched as the great dragon flew off with the new white dragon.

“Sire, you wanted to speak to me?” Leon asked.

“Yes, I know Agravaine’s saved us in our moment of need but… there has to be a reason for Merlin disliking him so much. Keep a close eye on him, all of you. We want to make sure Merlin is safe at all costs.” Arthur said. Leon merely smirked and tried to cover up his humour. Arthur glared at him. “If you have something to say, you’d be wise to say it.”

“It’s nothing my Lord, it’s just that… we’ve been keeping an eye on Lord Agravaine for a while now.” Leon said. Arthur turned to face him.

“And? What have you found?” He asked. At that there was no further amusement in Leon’s face.

“I’m afraid… nothing, my Lord. There were a couple of times, when he first arrived where I wasn’t sure if he was being disrespectful, it prompted me to get the knights together but since then we haven’t noticed anything.” He said. Arthur nodded looking away.

“Lets not let our guard down.” Arthur said and Leon nodded.

oOoOoOo

The weeks seemed to go torturously slow for Merlin. A battle two weeks from the birth of Aithusa led Arthur to retreat as they were over powered. Uther was pulling no stops this time. He’d managed to recruit an additional number of houses and strengthened his numbers.

Merlin was tired. He’d turned his focus onto the book he was writing. Arthur was currently in the war room, but Merlin didn’t want to be there. Agravaine was there and his… treatment of him had not stopped.

It was always in a split second where everyone blinked, or the brief second the person around them looked away. It was like Agravaine knew the exact second to strike him. When he confided in Gaius, he said the only thing that could give Agravaine such timely opportunities was a concealment charm. Merlin had spent weeks trying to figure out what it was to get it off him but he’d not been successful… until now.

At least, while the war preparations were going on he could hide away in his tent and avoid getting hit.

It wasn’t that Merlin feared for himself, but with the child past its eighth moon he was terrified. His magic was starting to flutter. Morgana and Gaius said that’s likely because the baby was using it up for its final growth stages.

Merlin sighed and closed the book, putting the quill down and caressing his stomach. He suddenly felt very lonely. Arthur had asked what on earth was happening to him. Agravaine had made him seem like he was becoming clumsier than normal.

Whenever Arthur asked him, Merlin said nothing. The more men they lost, the more Agravaine’s alliance proved invaluable.

“Merlin?” Merlin looked up as Arthur entered the tent.

Merlin didn’t say anything, simply looked away, taking a deep breath, the sadness in his heart only getting bigger.

“Merlin…” Arthur came to kneel beside him, looking up at him. “What has you so miserable?” He asked.

“I just didn’t think this war would take so long.” Merlin whispered.

“We’ll win, Merlin. We will.” Arthur said and placed his hand on Merlin’s stomach. Merlin placed his hand over Arthur’s but the heaviness in his heart didn’t lift. “But we have to prepare for the birth.” Arthur said.

Merlin looked up. “What do you mean? There’s still weeks to go.” He said.

“We can only hope so. We should make our way to the isle of the blessed and wait for the birth there. I don’t want to take any chances.” Arthur said. “It should take us over a week to get there, I don’t want to delay any further.” He said.

Merlin tensed and looked up. “Who’s coming with us?” He asked.

“I’ve sent Geoffrey, Gwen, Lancelot, Elyan and Gaius ahead of us to prepare. We will go with Leon, Percival, Gwaine, Morgana, uncle and a number of other knights.”

“No.” Merlin shook his head, standing up and walking away from him.

“Merlin, we have to go together.” Arthur said.

“I don’t want Agravaine there!” Merlin yelled.

“What will you have me do?” Arthur asked.

“Make him stay here… training the men.” Merlin said. “The great dragon can keep watch of him.”

“Merlin, don’t be absurd.” Arthur scoffed.

“Arthur… _please_ don’t bring him!” Merlin snapped, his heart racing at the thought that he’d have that man anywhere near him or his child during the birth.

“Why? What has he ever done to you beside insult you that one time at the start?” Arthur yelled. Merlin shook his head at that and looked away. “If you won’t tell me, what can I do?”

“What does it matter? You won’t believe me no matter what I say.” Merlin said.

“That’s not true, Merlin!” Arthur snapped. “I’ve had enough of this. Tell me now.” He demanded.

“You’ll see.” Merlin said instead and made for the bed. Arthur didn’t let him.

“Tell me, Merlin.”

Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat and turned to Arthur. “He hits me, constantly. All those times I’ve been clumsy? Every time the child’s magic has flared up around me? That’s his doing. When I tripped and hit my face on the tent pole, that was him.”

“You said it was an accident!” Arthur yelled.

“Because last time I said the same thing you didn’t believe me!”

“Why would I do that again? What else?” Arthur demanded.

“I think he’s using a concealment charm… probably from Lana herself, is my guess.” Merlin said.

“What does that do?” Arthur asked with a frown.

“It makes it so whenever he attacks me, it happens precisely in the second someone blinks, or glances away, or turns around. That’s why even if there’s someone behind us, no one would ever see anything.” Merlin said.

“How can you be sure?” Arthur asked.

“I can’t… which is why I’m going to trap him.” Merlin said.

“How?” Merlin didn’t tell him and continued to the room, refusing to answer anymore of Arthur’s questions.

oOoOoOo

Merlin wasn’t answering anymore of his questions. Arthur came closer to him, his heart racing, a lump at the back of his throat at the thought that he’d allowed something like that to happen to Merlin. If it’s all true… he had no idea what he would do with himself.

All because he had been too proud to call for King Bastian. He took a deep breath and turned away from Merlin, going to the table. He began writing to the southern king immediately, requesting his assistance in the war against King Uther.

When he was done he wasted no time having the letter sent. He took a deep breath. He felt like such a failure. He’d failed the most important person in his life. How could he possibly begin to right this wrong?

He was going to watch Merlin like a hawk. He wasn’t letting him out of his sight tomorrow.

In the end he didn’t have to wait until tomorrow. Late in the night, Merlin got up and put on his cloak, sneaking out of the tent. Arthur got to his feet immediately, slipping his boots on and following Merlin, sword at the ready in case he needed it.

He wondered at first where Merlin was going, but then he remembered the other mentioning something earlier about some flowers that only bloom at night for a protection amulet he was making for the child. Agravaine had been present. Merlin was trying to lure his uncle out on purpose?

He followed him into the forest. In a small clearing by the moon’s light, he could see the flowers Merlin had spoken of. What he didn’t expect was for the other five knights to arrive soon after.

“Sire, what are you doing here?” Lancelot whispered.

“Me? I’m following Merlin, what are you all doing here?” Arthur whispered.

“We’re following lord Agravaine.” Leon said pointing at the opposite end of the clearing, where Agravaine was walking, making his way to Merlin. Merlin seemed to not know he was coming, because he had his back to Agravaine, looking straight at them.

Arthur tried to move toward him but found himself frozen in place.

“Merlin’s frozen us.” Gwaine hissed, trying to struggle out of the hold.

“Merlin!” Arthur tried to yell but nothing more than a whisper left his lips.

oOoOoOo

Merlin felt his heart race as he froze and silenced his friends. He turned to Agravaine, glaring at him.

“Stay the hell away from me!” Merlin said, stepping away from him.

“Insolent as ever.” Agravaine said. “Shouldn’t you bow to your lord?”

“I would if he were here.” Merlin hissed. Agravaine’s eyes filled with fury. As Merlin would always protect his stomach, it was easy for the man to grab onto his hair and yank him down to his knees. “Agh!”

“You _dare_ speak to me like that? You are nothing! Nothing but a stain in Arthur’s life!” Agravaine yelled.

“At least I don’t get my thrills from hurting expectant women.” Merlin hissed and Agravaine slapped him hard before yanking his head back up by his hair. Merlin cursed himself for shaking but it was so hard to keep the child’s magic from guarding him. He needed Arthur and the others to see this.

“You will address me appropriately, _peasant_!” He yelled. Merlin clenched his jaw and looked down.

“Yes, my lord.”

oOoOoOo

Arthur clenched his jaw, shaking where he stood. _This_ was what Merlin had to endure for weeks? Was this why every day that passed, every ‘clumsy’ spell that happened, seemed to cause Merlin’s happiness to dim little by little from his eyes?

Was this why he’d sometime spot Merlin tearfully reassuring their child before hiding his pain away from Arthur? He could kill his uncle right where he stood if only the spell would release him.

Seeing Merlin submit and call Agravaine with a title… it made Arthur’s skin crawl and a caused tears of rage and sadness to trail down his face.

oOoOoOo

“So you remember, huh?” Agravaine smirked and let go of him. “Arthur has planned to take you to a place called the isle of the blessed. I hope you know that’s not going to save your pathetic life.” He said. Merlin clenched his jaw. “Answer me!”

“Yes, my lord.” Merlin hissed.

Agravaine glared at him with disgust. “Maybe I should help speed things along.” He said. Agravain’s foot came out of nowhere. It shocked him enough that the child’s magic shot out and blasted the man back before he could kick him in the stomach. Merlin’s heart raced wildly and rushed to his feet.

“You… dare to use magic against me?” Agravaine yelled, hurrying to his feet.

Merlin felt tears in his eyes as Arthur stepped out of the forest, followed by the knights.

“Merlin, uncle, what a surprise.” Arthur said coldly.

“Arthur! I don’t know what’s wrong with him but he’s just used magic to attack me!” Agravaine said.

“Merlin, how could you.” Arthur said coldly, not taking his eyes off his uncle as he came closer. “But… what were you doing here, at night, alone with my husband, uncle?” He asked.

“I… he called me, I worried something was wrong.” Agravain said.

“Is this true, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“No.” Merlin replied coldly, eyes narrowed at Agravaine, relief that it was finally going to be over.

“Arrest him.” Arthur demanded. Merlin’s watched at Arthur’s tense stance, almost as if he was shaking slightly. The knights wasted no time tackling the creep, roughly dragging him away from Merlin.

He thought he saw Leon put his foot in front of Agravaine who fell face first onto the ground, unable to stop his fall since his hands were now bound behind his back.

“Careful, my Lord.” Gwaine said picking him up by his hair.

“AGH! Unhand me! Arthur! What is this disrespect?” Agravaine yelled.

“I believe it’s an arrest.” Arthur said coldly. He turned toward Merlin. Merlin kept looking at Agravaine until he was out of sight. “Merlin, I-”

Merlin looked up to see Arthur struggling to keep his emotions in check. “It’s not your fault, Arthur.”

“Yes it is! I allowed him to stay… I didn’t listen to you! Again!” Arthur yelled. “How could I have been such a fool?” He whispered.

“He’s your family, Arthur. Of course you’d want to trust him!” Merlin exclaimed.

“Stop it! Don’t make any more excuses for me! He almost hurt the child! Why didn’t you defend yourself?” Arthur yelled.

“I did…”

“No you didn’t! That was the child! Why didn’t you… kill him where he stood?” Arthur snapped.

“What good would that have done me? You would have blamed me for killing a man I had no proof was hurting me!” Merlin yelled.

“I’m so sorry…” Arthur whispered, stepping back, away from him. “I don’t deserve you.” He said softly.

“Arthur…”

Arthur shook his head as he looked away. “I never deserved you.” He whispered and kept stepping back, turning around.

“Don’t you turn your back to me, Arthur Pendragon!” Merlin yelled with the same commanding voice he used on the dragons. Arthur seemed to freeze and turned around slowly.

“Merlin…”

“You are my husband! We are each other’s destiny. I don’t care what anyone says about deserving each other anymore. You are _mine_ and you will _not_ walk away from me!”

Arthur turned around fully, looking exasperated. “I’ve failed you! I’ve failed you as a husband and I’ve failed you as a friend.”

“You haven’t failed me! Agravaine was using an enchantment to keep everyone from seeing the truth!”

“You can’t understand! Do you even know what you are?” Arthur yelled.

Merlin flinched. “What do you mean ‘ _what I am_ ’?”

“Look where you are now! We married to protect a child that was forced upon you! I’ve given you no choice for anything. You…”

“Arthur! _What_ do you think I am?” Merlin snapped.

“You are a god! You are so far above me in a hierarchy that precedes man itself. I’m nothing but a… mortal. I make mistake after mistake and hurt you time and time again! Do you even know how special you are?” Arthur demanded. Merlin was speechless for a few seconds.

“I’m… nothing… before this whole mess I was happy to stay as your servant, always.” Merlin said.

“You are _not_ nothing. You are everything. The druids talk about you like a deity. The dragon talks about you like an equal. You are a creature beyond what anyone can describe. How can you say you are nothing?” Arthur demanded.

“Fine, you want me to say I’m a monster? Well it’s what I’ve always thought, growing up.”

“No, you are not a monster. You are so special, and I don’t deserve you.” Arthur repeated. Merlin watched him continue to walk away and Merlin gasped, trying to think of what to say, anything to stop Arthur from leaving.

If he let him go, he feared he would lose Arthur forever.

“Then… if I have chosen you, who are you to continue walking away from me?” Merlin said with a confidence he did not feel, and it showed with the slight shake of his voice. Nonetheless it got Arthur to stop. “Deep down, I never would have gone through with all of this if I did not want to.” Merlin said. “I _have_ chosen you, Arthur Pendragon, to be mine for the rest of our lives. You don’t get to decide whether you deserve me or not.”

Arthur looked at him intently and finally began to walk back toward him. Merlin’s heart raced as Arthur came closer and kneeled before him. He took Merlin’s hand, kissing it and looking up at him with reverence.

“I love you, Merlin.”

“I love you too, Arthur.” Merlin whispered. Arthur got back on his feet and Merlin leaned in to kiss him. The moment their lips pressed against each other, Merlin could feel his heart fluttering in his chest. It was the best feeling in the world.


	25. Chapter 25

Arthur addressed the entourage they would take to the isle of the blessed.

“As we have no way of knowing whether Agravaine had time to alert father of our route, we’ll have to take another route. This one should get us there five days later than expected, but we should arrive with at least a week to spare before the child is ready to be born.” Arthur said.

“Are you feeling alright, Merlin?” Merlin turned to look at Morgana who was looking at him worried.

“I’m alright.” Merlin said, sighing as he drank some water. “Just feeling a bit warm.” He mumbled.

“Merlin, remember to spell the horse.” Gwaine said. Merlin nodded, hand on the saddle, whispering the spell. His eyes glowed and he felt his body relax into the seat.

“Lets go.” Leon said, smiling warmly at him.

Merlin took a deep breath and got the horse moving. At the end of this journey, Camelot would have a new prince. If he’s lucky, he might get to actually hold the child in his arms. He just hoped that whatever Iseldir had planned would work.

Merlin rode in the middle of the entourage, guarded by the knights, followed by Morgana, more soldiers, and led by Arthur at the front.

The first three days were pretty straightforward and uneventful. Get up, breakfast, ride a few hours, stop for lunch, ride some more, set up camp for the night. The days were longer now, which allowed for further travel. Merlin could only hope the rest of the journey went as smoothly.

oOoOoOo

“I’ve told you, you may help me with the war to even out the disadvantage with Arthur’s army, but catching him before he reaches that isle will take place without the aid of magic.” Uther said coldly to the sorceress.

“If that is your wish, then so be it, your majesty.” Lana said politely.

“Get out of my sight.” He hissed and Lana bowed, heading straight for her chambers.

Uther had sent men to intercept the group before they reached the isle of the blessed. Lana had no clue what they planned to do there, unless they found someone else willing to sacrifice themselves for the sorcerer.

She began to pace the room. She couldn’t allow that Dragon Lord to survive.

She turned to her scrying bowl, filling it with water. She began casting a spell, showing the Dragon Lord riding with the entourage through the forest. It looked nothing like the route described by Agravaine and considering it didn’t look like he was with them, she could only guess he’d been discovered somehow.

“Useless, the lot of them.” She whispered and grabbed a small white crystal from her purse. She loudly spoke her spell before dropping it on the image. Slowly a mist began to descent upon the forest so thick that she herself had difficulty seeing the shapes she was spying on. “That should slow you down...” She smirked. Making Agravaine appear on the water, she sent forth and unlocking charm and his manacles fell free.

oOoOoOo

“There’s no getting through this today, sire, we should make camp, try again tomorrow.” Leon advised.

Arthur clenched his jaw but nodded. “Let’s set up camp.”

As they dismounted from the horses, Arthur searched for Merlin’s. “Merlin?” Arthur asked. This was ridiculous, this was a very strange mist, he couldn’t even see the next horse down.

“It’s me.” Merlin said, taking his hand. Percival found them in time to help Merlin down. “This mist came out of nowhere. It has to be the work of magic.” Merlin said.

“I figured as much.” Arthur said, helping Merlin over to the fire that someone had made. As they came closer, they saw it was Morgana’s doing.

“Everyone, be on guard. This mist is made of magic.” Leon called out. Arthur sat down beside Merlin, holding his hand firmly. Merlin leaned in to rest his head on Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur frowned and reached up to feel Merlin’s forehead.

“You’re a bit warm.” Arthur said softly.

“I just keep getting these hot flushes… I’m sure it will pass.” Merlin said.

“You’ll let me know if you start feeling unwell, won’t you?” Arthur asked.

“Of course, Arthur. I’ll let you know every tickle I feel from now until the child is born.” He teased and Arthur smiled, leaning in to kiss him softly.

“How can you even tell you’re kissing the right person? This mist is so thick.” Gwaine complained as he walked past. Arthur felt Merlin’s lips lift to a smile and release a chuckle as they pulled away.

The mist didn’t let up the next day, or the one after that.

“We can’t wait any longer. We have to go.” Arthur insisted.

“Sire, if we try to cross the forest like this there’s no knowing where we’d end up.” Percival said.

“I understand but the more days that pass, the closer Merlin gets to giving birth. We have to get to that island.” Arthur said.

“We have no choice, Leon. We have to push through.” Gwaine said.

“This must be Lana’s doing, Arthur. We have to go on.” Merlin said. “I’ll try and use my powers to pinpoint a direction we should follow.”

“I’ll help too, maybe two sorcerers are better than one for this.” Morgana said, smiling at Merlin.

“Lets get everything together and go.”

oOoOoOo

They moved extremely slowly through the forest. Merlin and Morgana did their best to try and pinpoint a location, but all they could really do was try and pinpoint the trail to follow. It didn’t really tell them where they were exactly and although Merlin tried not to keep count, they’d already passed the expected arrival time to the lake by three days.

Finally, the mist began to clear up, but all sense of relief was obscured by the vision of Camelot’s men lying in waiting.

“Arthur…” Merlin gasped.

“Sire…” One of the soldiers came forth. “We should proceed as planned. For the sake of the unborn prince.” Merlin understood what that meant. “We will fight them. You run.”

“Your actions will not be forgotten.” Arthur said and grasped the man’s arm, shaking it firmly. “Ready everyone?” Arthur asked.

“Ready.”

Merlin took a deep breath as the soldiers charged toward the Camelot ambush. The small group made their own way round the ambush. Morgana and Merlin used their magic to slam the soldiers out of their path, allowing them to get around them without issue.

The handful of men that tried to follow them were thrown off their horses by Morgana.

Merlin’s heart raced wildly as they fled from the fighting soldiers. They didn’t stop for another hour of hard riding as they made camp. Merlin got off the horse with help and took a deep breath, leaning into Arthur.

“It’s alright. We’ll get there in a couple of days maximum Merlin.” He said. Merlin shook his head, breathing quickly. Fear trembled in his veins and he looked up at him.

“Merlin?” Gwaine asked worried.

“I’m wet…” Merlin managed to say.

“What do you mean you’re wet?” Arthur asked with a frown.

“My waters have broken.” Merlin said. “The child is getting ready to come out.”

Arthur’s eyes widened with fear and shook his head. “We must get on the horses. We’ll ride all night if we have to!”

“Arthur we can’t! They horses are exhausted after we’ve just escaped.” Morgana cried out. “They’ll never make it.”

“Morgana’s right…” Merlin said. “We should try and sleep. In the morning we can continue.”

“No! The baby’s coming now!” Arthur said.

“Waters breaking doesn’t mean imminent birth, Arthur.” Morgana said. “Gaius says it’s the start… labour should begin within a day for Merlin.”

“Then…” Arthur started and Percival stepped in.

“Tomorrow we ride at first light, we’ll push the horses a little and see how far we get. When labour starts… it could take another couple of days Arthur.” He said.

“Very well…” Arthur said. “We’re not that far away from the isle. We’ll make it in time.”

Merlin nodded, though he couldn’t stop shaking. He was scared. He had no idea what to expect and Gaius wasn’t here. Gaius was waiting for them in the isle of the blessed.

That night, Arthur held him tighter up against him and Merlin knew that he was getting just as scared as him.

Merlin managed to sleep until dawn. What woke him wasn’t the rays of the sun. He gasped and breathed quickly, trying to breathe through the pain that spread around his back and abdomen, concentrating on his naval area.

“Merlin?” Arthur sat up, looking down at him. Merlin whimpered, eyes shut tight. “No, no Merlin, you can’t, not yet.” Arthur exclaimed. “Leon! Gwaine! Percival! Ready the horses!” He yelled. Everyone shot to their feet and rushed to prepared.

Merlin felt the pain relax and shuddered, letting Arthur help him up. “It’s passed.” Merlin said softly.

“Now, we can say… the labour’s begun.” Morgana said.

Merlin groaned as he was placed on the horse. He managed the spell before crying out in pain, another contraction hitting him hard. Arthur took the reigns of the horse and they began to ride.

In number of seconds, the pain relaxed and Merlin trembled. “Arthur…” Everyone insinuated it would be painful but no one had gone into detail what would happen. Merlin had no idea what was happening to him.

“Hold on Merlin, we’ll get there.” Arthur said.

“I could do a spell for the pain?” Morgana suggested. Merlin shook his head.

“No… I need to know what’s coming…” Merlin said.

And so they advanced. Merlin’s cries of pain could be heard all around them. It made all the knights cringe seeing and hearing so much pain coming from his voice.

If only the contractions would stay as they were, but slowly Merlin could feel them getting closer together and longer in time. They rode the horses into the night, slowly and steadily making their way through the forest.

“Arthur, please lets stop.” Merlin begged. He needed to stretch his legs and he could feel another contraction coming.

“… just an hour.” Arthur said. The moment he was off the horse, Merlin pressed his hands against the bark of a tree. The contraction hit hard and he cried out.

“AGH! Nnh! Nhh…” It hurt so much. He could feel Arthur coming to rub his back and Merlin moved away from the tree, holding onto Arthur’s shoulders, pressing his forehead against his chest, trying to breathe through it. “It hurts…” He managed to force out of his lips.

“I’m sorry.” Arthur said.

“Stop apologising.” Merlin grumbled as the pain began to relax away and he could breathe deeply once more. Tears of pain had trailed down his face and he wiped them away. They stayed like this for the hour they rested.

“We have to keep going.” Arthur said.

“I can’t.” Merlin whimpered.

“Oh yes you can. Help me Percival.” Gwaine said, forcing Merlin back on the horse. Not that Merlin was fighting back. He was too tired, just trying to enjoy the moment without pain he was savouring.

“You can do this, Merlin, just hold on a little while longer.” Arthur said, continuing to pull on the reins. Merlin only answered with a cry of pain a few minutes later that lasted longer than the rest and Merlin could feel he was running out of time.

oOoOoOo

“There it is!” Morgana said, pointing at the isle up ahead. They were an hour away at best.

“Arthur! Please… I can’t!” Merlin cried and Arthur turned, anguish at seeing Merlin in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it.

“We’re almost there Merlin!” Merlin shook his head and got off the horse on his own. “What are you doing?” He dismounted and came to his side.

“I can’t… I can’t.” Merlin panted against him.

Something spooked their horses. Morgana and the knights were thrown off by the horses and landed on the forest floor, while the beasts whinnied and ran away.

“NO!” Arthur cried out, trying to see where they had gone. “What happened?” Arthur yelled.

Merlin cried out as another contraction hit, much closer to the previous one and Arthur shook his head.

Laughter rang all around them and they took out their swords.

“You heinous wench!” Morgana shouted, recognising the sorceress Lana’s voice.

“You won’t make it in time. How about a little spell to help things along?” Came the voice.

“No! Morgana, where is she?” Arthur yelled.

“I don’t know! She’s not here!” Morgana yelled.

“No… but I _have_ sent someone to pick up my little prince.” The voice echoed around them. “My little child, come forth.” She began to recite words of the old religion that echoed all around them.

Merlin raised his hand. “ _Scildan_!” He cried out the shielding spell but his eyes didn’t flare gold. Terror filled his heart. “ _Scildan!_ ” He tried again, but it didn’t work. His magic was beyond his reach.

Merlin shuddered feeling Lana’s spell come to him, but the child flared up, encasing him in a golden dome of protection.

“Tsk…”

oOoOoOo

Uther walked into the sorceress’ room, hearing her cursed words.

“I _will_ have you, my little prince.” She promised, speaking into the scrying bowl.

“Merlin!” He heard Arthur cry out and Uther took out his sword, running the witch through with it.

“Uther…” She cried out, glaring at him, spiting out blood. “You traitor…”

“I have no loyalty for your kind. I told you not to use magic for this. Your services will no longer be required.” He pulled out the sword and the witch dropped to the floor, choking on her own blood as he walked away.

oOoOoOo

Merlin whimpered as the dome flickered and vanished.

“What happened?” Arthur asked.

“Lana’s gone.” Morgana said, looking all around them but there was no presence to be felt.

“Her spell didn’t work, the child protected Merlin.” Gwaine said.

“It doesn’t matter!” Merlin yelled.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“I can feel him pressing!” Merlin cried out, fear in his heart. They’d never make it to the isle now.

“No! No, Merlin, we need to get you to the isle.” Arthur said, reaching to pick him up himself.

“Arthur… stop… stop please.” Merlin whimpered, crying out at a rather strong contraction. When it was over Arthur hadn’t gotten them that much closer to the lake. “Arthur, without the horses… we can’t… I can’t!” Merlin said and Arthur shook his head placing him down, holding him close.

“I won’t lose you!” Arthur yelled.

“I’ll always be with you. I promise.” Merlin whispered.

“But none of us knows how to deliver a child!” Gwaine exclaimed.

“Percival?” Merlin asked the knight hopefully.

“I… no, men aren’t usually allowed in the birthing room.” He said.

“Well that’s just… _perfect!_ ” Merlin snapped.

“We should at least get you comfortable.” Morgana said, laying out the sleeping mats together for him.

Arthur helped him down and Merlin trembled. He could feel it, that distinct difference in contractions that told his body to push. “Arthur…” Merlin. “Help me.”

Arthur stared at him, frozen for a few seconds before getting down to his side. Morgana pushed Leon to sit on the floor, so Merlin could lean back against him. Leon looked like he had no idea what to do so he just stayed still.

Morgana helped pull Merlin’s skirts up and went to summon some water to purify. “Arthur! Tell me if you see the head of the child.” Morgana said.

“I thought you said you’ve never done this!” Gwaine exclaimed horrified.

“I haven’t! But Gaius went over some basics with me!” Morgana exclaimed.

“DO IT, ARTHUR!” Merlin yelled at him and Arthur flinched, looking between his legs. Merlin saw him pass out. “You absolute cabbage head!” He yelled at the unconscious prince.

Gwaine came instead. “Merlin, may I?”

“Just do it!” Merlin snapped.

Gwaine sighed and looked quickly, before looking back at Morgana. “No, I can’t see anything.” He said. Morgana came back and rolled his eyes at Arthur.

Merlin screamed, one hand reaching up and pulling on Leon’s hair, the other squeezing the life out of Gwaine’s hand as he pushed down. Leon and Gwaine screamed with him. Percival helped Morgana getting what clean cloths they could find amongst their stuff before coming back.

Merlin finally relaxed and whimpered, trying to breathe through the pain. “Arthur… wake up… please you idiot.” He whimpered.

Morgana splashed some water on Arthur’s face and finally, Arthur jumped awake. “What happened?” He asked.

“You passed out.” Percival said patting Arthur’s shoulder.

Arthur had the decency to look embarrassed as he came to hold Merlin’s hand. “I’m sorry, Merlin.” He said.

“Just don’t pass out again.” Merlin said, breathing deeply. Morgana used a wet cloth to wipe the sweat on Merlin’s brow.

“I won’t.” Arthur whispered.

Merlin didn’t have time to hear what else he had to say, because another contraction hit and he screamed again, squeezing hard on both his victims’ hands.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, Merlin!” Arthur exclaimed, not having expected that kind of strength from him.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I hurting you?!” Merlin shouted at him. Arthur took a deep breath and shook his head. “That’s what I thought!”

Arthur thought this was supposed to be quick, but it took Merlin another two hours of agonising pain and pushing before the child’s head could be seen. To say that all they’d seen in battle didn’t come close to the horrors they were being made to witness was an understatement.

“I can’t… I can’t Arthur, I’m so tired.” Merlin whimpered.

“Hey, you can do this, Merlin.” Arthur said. “You’re the strongest person I know.” He said, getting him to open his eyes.

Merlin smiled sadly. “I love you…” He whispered.

“I love you too… so much.” Merlin pulled him down for a kiss that was interrupted by another contraction.

“You can do it, Merlin! Push!” Morgana exclaimed.

“Push!” All three knights exclaimed and Merlin screamed, arching his back in pain.

Seconds later, Merlin collapsed, teeth clattering, tears trailing down the sides of his face and a smile forming at the sound of a newborn’s cry.

“You did it!” Gwaine cheered.

“Well done, Merlin!” Leon exclaimed.

“It’s a boy!” Morgana cheered, cleaning him up. “Arthur, you want to cut the cord?” Morgana asked.

“Cut the what?” Arthur asked a little shocked as he stared at the squirming little thing.

“I’ll do it.” Morgana said and with a quick spell it was done.

Merlin reached for the little thing and brought him into his arms. He cried as he held him against his chest, the little thing trembling and starting to calm down.

“My son...” Arthur whispered, staring at the little thing. Merlin looked down at him. He was minute. He was smaller than Merlin’s forearm and wrinkly and pink and perfect. Short golden hair decorated the top of the baby’s head and his little eyes opened to reveal a perfect blue. “He’s beautiful, Merlin.” Arthur whispered and kissed Merlin softly.

“I love you both…” Merlin whispered. He was feeling shaky, his vision blurring. “I think… I think I’m going…” Merlin whispered.

“No… No Merlin. Morgana, take my life. Now.” Arthur said desperately.

“No! You’ll be king, Arthur! Take mine.” Gwaine said.

“You idiots are all so desperate to die…” Morgana whispered, tears in her eyes. “I was supposed to be the sacrifice originally. I’ll do it.”

“No! Morgana just take me.” Leon offered.

Merlin smiled warmly. “I feel so loved.” He said softly.

_“Merlin.”_

“Father?” Merlin asked softly, hearing Balinor’s voice.

_“You’ve done so well, my son.”_

“I don’t want to say goodbye, father.” He whispered, another tear joining the rest. Everyone’s voices became dulled. He could hear the baby start to cry again, sounding distant.


	26. Chapter 26

“I don’t want to say goodbye, father.” He whispered, another tear joining the rest. Everyone’s voices became dulled. He could hear the baby start to cry again, sounding distant.

 _“There are no goodbyes, Emrys. For you, will always be._ ” Balinor said. Merlin frowned.

“But a life… must be given.” He thought.

 _“Yours is too precious to be given. The old religion has accepted another death in your place.”_ He said.

“Who?” Merlin whispered.

“ _Someone given by Uther Pendragon himself. The sorceress to blame for all of this._ ” Merlin frowned, his mind fuzzy as he tried to remember.

“Why do I feel like this?”

 _“You’re changing back, my son._ ”

Merlin closed his eyes and let the magic engulf him.

oOoOoOo

Arthur shook his head as he kept seeing Merlin mumbling something but saying nothing. When he saw his eyes dropping shut, panic settled in his heart.

“No! Merlin! Merlin!” He screamed, pulling him into his arms, wanting to hold him close and never let go. Morgana held their child while Arthur felt his heart becoming empty as he tried to search for a pulse.

Panic settled for a few seconds until he felt the strong pulse under his fingers. “He’s alive.” Arthur said.

Just as he said so, Merlin began to glow with that same golden light he’d produced many months ago. The length of his hair shortened up to where it was the first time he ever saw him and his chest flattened out. His face became a little less round and his cheekbones more defined.

Merlin was once more a man and very much alive.

oOoOoOo

Merlin groaned, waking up to the smell of lit firewood and the quiet whispers of a campfire in the night. He moved to sit up but his entire body felt sore from head to toe. He felt shaky and tired but he also felt… right.

He opened his eyes and a sight he’ll never forget met his eyes. Arthur was sitting against a tree, holding a small bundle in his arms and looking absolutely unsure of himself, looking overwhelmed with emotion of becoming a father.

Merlin smiled softly and sat up, drawing the other’s attention to him. Arthur smiled and came over.

“Are you alright?” Arthur asked.

“I am.” Merlin frowned, clearing his throat. He’d forgotten what he sounded like. He looked at himself and realised he was now wearing one of Arthur’s casual outfits.

“What happened?” Arthur asked. Merlin frowned.

“I… don’t know… I heard my father… spoke to him.” He said, looking down. “How’s the child?” He asked.

Arthur came closer to him and showed him the little prince. “Are you still happy with the name we chose?” Arthur asked. Merlin smiled and nodded.

“Eadmund.” Merlin said softly. “My fortune and protection.” He brought him up and kissed his forehead gently.

“All hail prince Eadmund!” Leon began. “Royal prince of Camelot.” Merlin beamed with pride as the knights chanted the words a few times, Arthur and Merlin joining in, until the baby started crying at the noise.

They laughed and it was a joyous sound that Merlin thought he’d never hear again. They quieted down and Merlin tried soothing the baby, bouncing him ever so softly in his arms but the baby wouldn’t quieten. Merlin caressed his cheek and looked up at Morgana.

“What if he’s hungry?” He asked.

“He very probably is.” Morgana said, swirling a concoction by the fire in a small pot.

“Well… how can he be fed, now that I’m a man?” Merlin asked.

“We’ll get a wet nurse as soon as we can… however… at the moment…” Arthur frowned. They hadn’t anticipated this. In truth they’d thought Merlin would stay a woman to feed the child.

Morgana cleared her throat and they looked up at her. “I know you’d never ask, Arthur, but I’m willing to be Eadmund’s wet nurse if you’d like.”

“Are you sure, Morgana?” Merlin asked.

“It’s… not really a lady’s job…” Arthur said and Morgana chuckled.

“I haven’t been a lady for a long time. It would be an honour.” Morgana said proudly. “Plus, the only other viable candidate for weeks is Gwen… and I’m sure you’ll both agree it might be a bit too much to ask of her.”

“Of course.” Arthur said quickly.

“Thank you, Morgana.” Merlin said, sitting up a bit more.

“Alright then.” Morgana looked at her concoction and whispered a relatively simple spell before drinking it. She winced as she held her chest, groaning. “God, Merlin… why didn’t you warn me they’d feel like this?”

“Sorry.” Merlin said, feeling pity, knowing exactly how sore the other must be feeling right now.

“Alright…” She sighed, trying to get comfortable, coming to sit beside him. The knights all turned around as Morgana undid the top of her dress. Merlin passed the baby over, watching closely to make sure he latched on properly. Gaius had always warned him that if the baby didn’t latch on it might be a bad sign. Edmund had no such problem. He latched on easily and began to feed happily.

Merlin smiled, his heart swelling with love. His only sadness was that he couldn’t feed the baby himself, but it was just the way it was. He rested his head on Morgana’s shoulder, watching his son with adoration.

Arthur cleared his throat. “Ehem… Merlin, you’re not a woman any more. Perhaps you should… look away?”

“Shut up, Arthur.” Morgana scolded him. Merlin simply smiled and pet Eadmund’s soft hair as he fed. Even if he wanted to look away he couldn’t. All he wanted to do was keep his eyes on the baby at all times.

Percival took his time showing Arthur and Merlin how to burp the child, Arthur having the grand delight of being the first person their son threw up on.

Merlin chuckled, his eyes becoming heavy.

“Are you alright, Merlin?” Arthur asked at the same time as he cleaned his shirt. Merlin nodded.

“Just tired…” He said softly.

“Go to sleep. We’ll finish the journey to the isle in the morning.” Arthur said, leaning in. Merlin let his eyes close but instead of the kiss to the lips he was expecting, Arthur kissed his forehead.

He briefly wondered if it was because he was a man once more. Merlin was too tired to ask. He fell asleep, lulled by the sounds of Arthur saying sweet things to their child.

oOoOoOo

It was the sound of chains that disturbed his sleep. He opened his eyes to see Morgana, eyes wide, struggling against the magic-binding chains that held her.

“Morgana!” He sat up and gasped, looking down at his shackled wrists. “No!” He looked around.

The knights were all frozen, sitting, eyes wide but unable to move. Merlin turned to look at Arthur and saw Agravaine kneeling by Arthur whose rage shined in his eyes.

“You’re a disappointment to Ygraine, Arthur. Look at what you’ve done. A child with a monster. A man of all things. Uther will burn them to ashes, and you will break out of the enchantment they have you in.”

“Don’t touch him!” Merlin yelled, trying to get up but feeling heavy.

“I’m surprised you can still move… but you probably didn’t have much of an appetite.” Agravaine smirked at him and Merlin looked at the cooking pot. It was true, he’d not had much of an appetite. He’d managed two bites? Three?

“You paralysed them.” Merlin hissed. Agravaine smirked and advanced toward the small bundle beside him. “No!” Merlin threw his own body over the baby, guarding him from Agravaine.

“Don’t worry… that monster is not mine to kill. Uther will kill you both. Maybe if you behave I’ll make sure he straps you both to the same pyre.” Agravaine said hatefully and tried to pull him away from Eadmund.

Merlin’s arms held his small child to his chest protectively as he tried to push himself away from the dark haired lord.

“I won’t let you hurt him!” Merlin yelled.

“Your magic is bound. Your _husband_ is paralysed and unable to help you. Be a good little servant and come with me. Or I’ll rip that parasite out of your arms and tear him to shreds right in front of all of you.” Agravaine said. His voice was cold and grave, meaning every word.

Merlin looked down at Eadmund, who was sleeping in his arms, despite all the yelling. “Don’t harm him, I’ll come with you.” He said, glancing at Arthur, who looked at him desperately, his breathing quick and panicked.

“Then get up.” He ordered.

Merlin shuddered as he forced himself to get on his feet. He still felt extremely sore all over, and the heaviness from the paralysis wasn’t making him feel any better.

Agravaine’s patience grew thin and he grabbed him by the arm in a bruising grip, yanking him toward the horse, or so he thought. Merlin used all his energy to hold onto Eadmund and not trip.

Agravaine’s horse was attached to a witch’s cage and Merlin’s heart almost stopped. Agravaine forced him inside the one thing that had woken him as a child in terror. He’d wake up crying, clinging to his mother that he’d dreamt he’d been caught. Agravaine slammed the gate shut and got on the front, pushing the two horses to move as fast as they could.

Merlin sat on the very edge of it, looking back, desperate for any sign that the paralysis had faded and the knights and Arthur and Morgana were all coming for them.

No one came.

Merlin held Eadmund safely in his arms as he sat in the corner, as far away from Agravaine as possible. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, his body and heart too tired to keep him awake. His sleep was restless and every little sound would wake him, but it ensured he was ready to protect his baby if needed.

oOoOoOo

Arthur closed his eyes tightly once he could no longer hear the carriage in the distance. He tried to fight it. He tried to fight it with everything he had and yet… he couldn’t regain control of his body.

 _“Merlin! No! Eadmund…”_ Tears came to his eyes as he recalled his uncle’s words. His eyes settled on the dying flames of the campfire and terror coursed through his veins. If his father hurt them… he would kill him painfully and slowly with his own bare hands.

oOoOoOo

Merlin tried to calm Eadmund as he cried and cried.

“Waaah!”

“Shut it up!” Agravaine yelled for the tenth time.

“He’s hungry!” Merlin yelled.

“Then feed it!” Agravaine yelled.

“I’m a man! I can’t feed him!” Merlin growled.

“Then let it starve.” Agravaine said hatefully. Merlin closed his eyes, holding Eadmund close. The baby would never make it back to Camelot. He would die on the way if they didn’t escape.

He looked at the little thing, tears forming in his eyes. It was too cruel. He’d lost so much already. It wasn’t fair. Not his child too. He closed his eyes and searched his soul for the words he needed. He felt the magical restraints on his power but he pushed past them, whispering the words he needed. Something older than spells.

 _“Gods of the earth and sky, of sea and fire, give me the power to save my child.”_ He whispered in the tongue of the old religion, feeling something building up until he felt his body tingle with the magic. He tried to use his magic to unfasten the restraints but once again, his magic was out of his reach.

He began to sob in desperation. It didn’t work. He caressed Edmund’s cheek and kissed his forehead. “I’m so sorry…”

He felt something wet in his chest and looked down, gasping as he felt the shirt. It was still as flat as before but he was definitely wet. He felt heat in his face but didn’t question the old religion as he placed Eadmund under his shirt. Luckily Arthur’s muscular build allowed for plenty of room for Eadmund under the fabric thanks to Merlin’s smaller frame.

His child didn’t hesitate and soon his cries dimmed to suckling sounds.

“So you finally shut it up.” Agravaine turned to look at him and sneered. “That is absolutely disgusting. You really are a monster.”

Merlin flinched at the word but refused to listen to him. When Eadmund was done, he burped him and kissed his little head, holding him safely in his arms.

oOoOoOo

“Almost there, sorcerer.”

“Why are you even helping Uther? He’s to blame for Lady Ygraine’s death.” Merlin said.

Agravaine laughed. “You think I’m helping Uther?”

“You’re taking us to him.” Merlin said. Agravaine shook his head, looking wildly amused.

“Uther killed my sister to get that child she never wanted. She knew of his betrayal that birthed Morgana! She wasn’t unable to conceive, she was actively taking herbs to stop that tyrant from impregnating her.”

Merlin’s eyes widened at that as he started at the back of Agravaine’s head. “We saw Ygraine, she spoke to Arthur, she was proud of him and loved him dearly.” Merlin said.

 

“Arthur took my sister’s life. He’s as guilty as Uther!” Agravaine yelled. “But killing them alone was no satisfaction. I wanted to see them destroy each other. As soon as Uther has you both burned, Arthur’s rage will be immeasurable. He’ll kill Uther. I’m sure the grief of losing you both will be enough to kill his spirit and I would have won.” Agravaine laughed.

 

Merlin breathed rapidly, fear filling his heart as he looked up at the approaching walls of Camelot. A Camelot where he had no allies. He held Eadmund tighter against his chest.


	27. Chapter 27

Merlin struggled against Agravaine as the man dragged him across the palace halls. The guards opened the doors to the throne room where Uther awaited, surrounded by his courtiers.

“Uther, I have brought to you the sorcerer that bewitched Arthur and lured him away from Camelot.” Agravaine said proudly.

Merlin grunted as Agravaine forced him to fall on his knees and held Eadmund close, tears forming in his eyes.

“You’re a man once more.” Uther stated.

“Yes.” Merlin said.

“What’s that you’re holding?” Uther demanded. “Bring it to me.”

“No!” Merlin cried out, struggling against Agravaine as he forcefully ripped Eadmund from his arms. “NO! Don’t… don’t hurt him, please! Uther please!” Merlin begged as Agravaine took the small bundle to the king.

Uther stared at Eadmund with mild horror. The entire room seemed to be holding their breath awaiting the king’s reaction. Uther finally reached out and took the child into his arms. The only sound in the room was Merlin’s pleas.

“Please… Uther, I beg you I’ll do anything just please…” Merlin carried on begging, terrified at seeing his delicate son in the arms of the most ruthless man in all of Camelot.

“…He looks just like Arthur…” Uther said.

Merlin froze, fear still raging in his heart, but the fondness in those words surprised him.

“What’s his name?” Uther asked.

“E-Eadmund.” Merlin managed to force out.

“A fitting name for a prince.” Uther said softly.

Merlin stared, his mouth opened, unable to find words to respond to that. “Please… don’t hurt him.” Merlin repeated.

“You will be my son’s bait. He _will_ come to me, and surrender, ending this war once and for all. Guards… take the sorcerer to my son’s chambers and make sure he’s guarded at all times.”

Even Agravaine seemed confused at the command, but didn’t question it out loud. Uther came closer to Merlin and looked at Eadmund once more, who was staring tiredly up at the king, sucking on his little fist. Then, to Merlin’s great relief, Uther returned Eadmund into his arms. He held him close, safe in his hold, his racing heart starting to settle somewhat.

The guards led him away to Arthur’s chambers and he stood inside, feeling at a loss on what to do. He certainly didn’t expect this. He looked down at Eadmund and took a deep breath, sitting down on the bed, closing his eyes, trying to access his magic. The chains to his wrists still didn’t allow him to access it, though luckily, for now, it seemed that he could still feed the baby.

The door opened and Merlin stood, looking at the servant in worry, until he realised it was George. He expected some kind of reaction, he had helped them after all, but George was respectful and formal as always.

“My lord, I have been sent to serve you for any needs you may have. Shall I draw you a bath, sire?” He asked.

“Um… yes please… and some cloths for my child.” Merlin asked.

“Right away, sire. I’ll also prepare a light lunch for you. Shall I have a wet nurse found for the young prince?” He asked.

“No… not necessary for now.” Merlin said. George’s eyebrows lifted ever so slightly but then he bowed and left him alone again.

oOoOoOo

Within the hour, Merlin had had a light lunch which he desperately needed and was now soaking in the lukewarm water, Eadmund resting against his chest, cooing gently as Merlin brought handfuls of water gently over his head, making sure to clean him nicely, while trying to work around his chains.

Soon the baby was sound asleep, soothed by his first bath and the warm cloths Merlin wrapped him up in. Merlin borrowed some more of Arthur’s clothes and lay down beside Eadmund, closing his eyes as he tried to get some sleep.

It worked. He fell asleep with his hand over Eadmund’s chest and didn’t wake until after sunset when Eadmund woke for a feed.

He sat cross-legged against the headboard of the bed, feeding the baby. It was like this that Uther found him when he entered the room. Merlin stared at him tense, unsure what the other had planned.

Uther stared at Eadmund confused. “You’re feeding him?”

“Someone had to…” Merlin said softly. “…your majesty.” He figured submission was his best chance of buying time until Arthur came for him.

Uther nodded and walked to the window, giving Merlin some semblance of privacy as he finished feeding the baby and began patting him firmly on the back. Eadmund burped and threw up a little, cooing softly in his sleep.

Merlin discarded the now dirty cloth he’d placed on his shoulder and looked up at Uther, fear running through him as he realised the other was staring at him.

“How is it that you are alive? Who died for you?” Merlin looked up at him, understanding the unspoken question. Was Arthur alive?

“I’m alive, thanks to you.” Merlin said.

Uther scoffed and glared at him. “I did no such thing to help you.”

“You killed Lana. The old religion accepted her as the sacrifice.” Merlin said and looked down. “Though they _all_ tried to volunteer.” He smiled fondly, but still feeling guilty about it.

“So you’ve enchanted them all.”

“I’ve not enchanted anyone!” Merlin snapped.

“Then how do you explain their undying devotion to you?” He demanded.

“I don’t know, maybe it has something to do with my saving Camelot hundreds of times since I first came here?”

“Like when you set the dragon on Camelot and then got Arthur out of the city to ensure the attack dragged on as long as it could?” He demanded.

“We went in search of Balinor.” Merlin said. “It was only when he died that I inherited his powers. He was my father, after all.”

“He raised you to infiltrate Camelot.”

Merlin carefully placed Eadmund down and stormed up to Uther.

“I wish he had! I wish I’d had the time to get to know him as well as you think I did! You hunted him down like an animal. I never even knew who he was until we set off in search of him and because he was hiding in that blasted kingdom Cenred’s men killed him! He died in my arms and I was too weak to do anything to save him then!” He scoffed and stepped back. “Why am I telling you this? As if you give a damn about others’ suffering. You know what Agravaine said? He said Ygraine knew your infidelity had led to Morgana’s birth. She was so disgusted with you that she took herbs to stop herself from conceiving.”

“Lies!” Uther yelled.

“I don’t know! All I know is that Agravaine said so, so who knows.” Merlin shook his head. “And Morgana, do you have any idea how terrified she was, for years? Then she got her powers and every time you spouted hatred towards magic, every time you said it corrupts and turns you into a monster, she started believing it little by little until _you_ turned her into what she became.” Merlin yelled.

“You insolent boy! How _dare_ you talk to me like that!” Uther yelled reaching for his sword. Merlin flinched stepping back.

“You know it’s true. You turned her against you all on your own. And Arthur, you forced him to stand by you like an obedient vassal every time you ordered him to execute people he himself knew to be innocent. The times he couldn’t defy you… you forced that blood onto his hands and I’ll _never_ forgive you for that. Not that it matters anyway. I’m sure you’ve come to threaten me with the pyre. Save it, because Agravaine already went into great detail.” Merlin said stepping back further from him, sitting by the bed and turning to Eadmund, caressing his little face and petting the soft golden fuzz at the top of his head.

The silence stretched out and Merlin looked up at him slowly. Uther stared out of the window, his hand gripping the end of the stone frame firmly.

“You could never understand what it’s like to be king. My duty was to Camelot. I protected the people from the evils of magic. I may have failed as a father in your opinion but as a king my duty to my people supersedes everything else!”

Merlin didn’t look away as Uther turned to glare at him. “All those sorcerers, and innocents accused as such, all those mothers, sons, daughters, fathers… all of them were your people too.”

“You would have Arthur return magic to the kingdom?” He hissed.

“If you keep banning magic you may as well ban swords, armour and shields too, for they are the _same_ thing. It’s what you do when you’re wielding the sword that defines whether the act is evil or not.”

“No more of your words! Magic is evil! As you are!”

“There is no evil in magic, Uther Pendragon, only in the hearts of men.” He said boldly. Uther stared at him.

“Arthur is here.” Uther said and Merlin tried to hold back the sigh of relief. “He’s surrounded us, his army to the north, Angevin’s army of eight thousand men to the south.” Merlin did the math quickly. “Yes… Arthur’s strength is double that of mine. There is no alternative for me but to surrender. Or gain revenge.”

Agravaine entered through the doors.

“Uther, the pyre has been prepared.” He said and smirked at Merlin.

Merlin looked at Eadmund and sobbed, curling over him. “I love you so much my baby.” He whimpered. “Please remember me… I’ll always be with you.” He said softly.

“Enough.” Uther said and Merlin flinched looking up at the man. “I’ll not have the mother of my grandchild executed.” Uther declared and Merlin stared at him in shock, waiting for him to change his mind. “I’ll step down. I’ll abdicate the throne to Arthur.” He said. “If only to spare the citizens any more unnecessary deaths.”

Merlin shook his head, unable to believe it. It was too good to be true. Agravaine took out his sword and slammed it down on the back of Uther’s neck.

“You really are something.” Agravaine hissed at Merlin as he dragged Uther’s unconscious body to the edge of the bed, cuffing him to one of the bedposts. Uther came to as Agravaine stepped back.

“Agravaine! Release me at once!” Uther yelled.

“You won’t fool anyone, Uther. You are despicable to the core. I won’t let you ruin my plans now! That boy will burn as will that disgusting abomination sired with Arthur and Arthur will blame you for it all!” Agravaine yelled.

“No! I won’t let you touch him!” Merlin yelled standing guard in front of the baby, trying to throw him back. Agravaine gripped him by his chains and turned him, kicking him hard against the wall. Merlin slipped down the wall, his head spinning after it whipped back against the stone.

“Don’t! Agravaine!” He heard Uther yell. He saw Agravaine lift his sword high over the bed.

“NO!” Merlin screamed, rushing to his feet. The sword came down and Eadmund’s orb of protection came out all around him, causing the sword to turn to dust upon contact.

Uther stared at the child in shock and Agravaine screamed in rage, turning once more to Merlin.

“I’ll deal with that thing later!” he yelled and grabbed Merlin by his hair, dragging him forcefully out of the door. Merlin struggled as best he could.

“Let go of me!” He yelled.

Agravaine dragged him to the pyre, strapping him to it, the guards staring at him confused, wondering where the king was.

“By order of the king! I sentence you to burn!” Agravaine yelled and reached down to take the torch from one of the guards.

Merlin struggled against his restraints, looking at the fire in terror. “He lies! He’s attacked the king! Go check!” Merlin yelled.

There was no time for the guards to react, because at that moment, a cry of war was heard and Arthur’s men began to storm the citadel.

Merlin smiled with relief, but one look at Agravaine’s victorious grin wiped the smile from his face.

“Perfect.” He hissed and threw the torch at the pyre. The wood had been coated with oil and Merlin saw his world turn orange and black.

oOoOoOo

“Arthur!” Morgana cried out, pointing up at the black smoke up ahead. Arthur’s heart stopped in his chest. He kicked the horse’s sides and stormed through the guards, paying no heed to their weapons, running past them as they surrendered to his men.

Agravaine stepped back from his handiwork. The fire roared loudly, engulfing Merlin’s form by now. There were no screams. Morgana rushed in after him, crying out a spell to summon the well’s water to the pyre but it did nothing to put out the black-oil fuelled fire.

“You’re too late, Arthur! Your father’s already extracted justice!” Agravaine called out with a smirk.

“Merlin!” He screamed, and tried to run into the fire, only to be held back by his knights. “Let go of me!”

“Look!” Gwaine yelled and Arthur froze as he did indeed see a form walking out of the fire.

Merlin walked out of the pyre, engulfed in a robe of fire that he brought with him. His face was stained black from the smog and as he breathed, black smoke left his lips. He moved toward Agravaine slowly. No one could move. A heavy magic bound everyone’s feet to where they stood. His uncle seemed to panic as Merlin came closer to him, moving his upper body wildly to try and get his lower half to do something.

“No! No!” Agravaine cried out, terror in his voice as Merlin stepped in front of him. Merlin reached out and grabbed his forearms firmly. His uncle released an inhuman scream as the flames engulfed him entirely. Merlin stepped back once the flames had left his own body, and movement seemed to return to those around them. Agravaine tried to run toward the well, falling instead and writhing on the floor as the stench of burning flesh filled the citadel.

Arthur made no move to end his suffering and ran toward Merlin, turning his darkened frame to look up at him. He was naked and smeared in soot streaks from head to toe, but his skin was otherwise unburned. The magic-binding shackles had melted from the intensity of the heat and somehow Arthur knew it was no man-made flame that had melted them down.

“Merlin… open your eyes.” Arthur whispered, cupping his face. Merlin slowly opened his eyes to show his perfect blue eyes, looking up at him tired.

“I don’t know about you… but I think I’m ready for a few days off.” Merlin mumbled. Arthur laughed through the tears that clouded his vision and pulled him into a fierce hug.

“I think we can arrange something.” Arthur said and wrapped him up in his cape, handing him over to Percival so he could carry Merlin to Gaius. “Merlin, where’s Eadmund?” Arthur said.

“In your rooms. Uther’s with him. Arthur… he tried to protect us. This was all Agravaine’s doing. Your father is ready to surrender.” He said softly. Arthur found it hard to believe and looked up at Percival.

“Take him to Gaius, he needs to be checked over.” Arthur then turned his attention to the castle and marched his way to his chambers.

He held his sword tight in his hand as he entered the room, finding his father shackled to the foot of the bed, sitting on the edge, his free hand held captive by Eadmund’s tiny fists. Arthur forgot about his father for now and ran to his child’s side.

“My son.” He cried out, scooping him up and holding him firmly against his chest, relief washing over him and tears trailing down his face as he looked him all over and finally bringing him to him, kissing his forehead and cheeks. “Thank the gods you’re safe.” He said, dropping to his knees beside the bed, suddenly out of strength as he placed Eadmund back down down.

He placed his hand on his stomach, feeling it rise and fall. He let his other hand support his own head as he just watched Eadmund cooing, curling up into himself and just generally taking in the confusing world around him, having no concept of what had almost happened to Merlin. No concept of the war that had just been won. No concept of the terror that had coursed through Arthur’s veins.

“I will do everything in my power to always keep you safe.” He whispered. Eadmund gurgled shortly in reply with a small kick of his legs.

“I made you that same promise soon after you were born.” He heard his father say and looked up to see a man full of regret. “I’m sorry, son.” Arthur just stared at him before turning back to Eadmund. He kissed his forehead one more time before standing, grabbing his sword once more and turning to his father.

Arthur undid the cuff and his father stepped back, rubbing his wrists. “You’re surrounded on all fronts. You have lost the war, Uther Pendragon. Kneel before your king.” Arthur said. Uther stared at him for a long time. He reached up and removed his crown. His father let it rest on the corner of the bed and proceeded to get down on one knee, kneeling before Arthur.

“Your majesty.” His father managed to force out and Arthur put his sword away.

“Geoffrey awaits in the throne room. We’ll sign your surrender and make it official.”

“Of course… sire.”

It seemed wrong for only a moment to Arthur. Once he picked up Eadmund, he knew it was how it had to be to protect him. To protect Merlin. To protect the people of Camelot who are born with, or choose to pursue magic.


	28. Chapter 28

Uther signed the abdication at sunset. Arthur’s coronation happened at dawn. Merlin stood at the very front of the crowd, watching Arthur approaching, his heart beating painfully, feeling almost too big for his chest due to the pride he felt in this very moment.

Arthur seemed to look at no one, eyes fixated on the throne up ahead. Merlin took a deep, shaky breath and smiled softly at Arthur’s nervousness. He knew the doubts flashing through his mind. Was he ready to be king? What if he messed everything up due to his youth and inexperience? What if he ended up just like Uther? Merlin knew Arthur’s concerns because Arthur had gone over them with him the night before. Merlin would have stayed up and reassured Arthur like he always did, but he _had_ almost been burnt alive, and his magic _had_ burned hotter than the sun to save him so he didn’t exactly have the energy to talk very long.

Merlin felt Eadmund squirm and looked down, smiling at him and adjusting his hold, caressing Eadmund’s cheek to soothe him before returning his gaze up to meet Arthur’s eyes.

Arthur gave him a glimpse of a smile before turning his attention to the throne. He knelt before it.

Geoffrey’s voice boomed to fill the large room. “Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the peoples of Camelot according to their respective laws and customs?”

“I solemnly swear so to do.”

“Will you, to your power, use law and justice and mercy, to be executed in all your judgements?”

“I will.”

“Then, by the sacred law vested in me, I crown you Arthur, King of Camelot.”

Merlin didn’t want to cry, but he couldn’t stop the tears that formed. All they had to go through to get here. Arthur turned, looking tall and like the king he always was.

“Long live the king!” Geoffrey called out.

“Long live the king! Long live the king!” The room began to chant.

“Long live the king!” Merlin called out and dried his tears, smiling proudly at Arthur.

Eadmund squirmed a bit more, not happy with the noise, his cries piercing through the hall. The first thing Arthur did as king was step toward them, kiss his son on the forehead, whisper some sweet words to soothe him and look up to kiss Merlin on the lips.

Merlin felt his heart skip wildly in his chest at the feel of Arthur’s lips over his own. He would have thought he’d be used to it… but that was when he was a woman. That was when it wouldn’t be strange to those around them. They were married… but again, when he was a woman. Now… was what Agravaine had said true? Was it now invalid? Would Arthur even want him like this? He only started to think of him this way when he became a woman. It must be because Arthur’s just used to it, kissing him whenever he can.

Merlin ignored the shocked whispers of the court members that had sided with Uther. He wanted to savour the feeling as long as it took for Arthur to realise that things had now changed. That _he_ had now changed.

oOoOoOo

Merlin stared at Eadmund as he fed him in Gaius’ chambers. The physician had left to run his errands and Merlin felt he needed to hide away for a little while.

That was when Morgana stormed in and gasped horrified.

“Merlin! How could you!” She demanded.

“What?” Merlin asked confused.

“What on earth am I supposed to do with these now?” Morgana snapped, cupping her breasts and Merlin smiled.

“Sorry.”

“Sorry, is that all you have to say for yourself?” Morgana said coming to sit down beside him.

“To be honest, I don’t think I’ll be able to do it for much longer.” Merlin said softly. “It takes up too much magic, I’m making less and less every time.” He said, petting Eadmund’s hair gently.

“Oh thank god.” Morgana whispered, massaging her chest in discomfort. “Does that mean I can still be Eadmund’s wet nurse?” She asked.

“If you still want to do it.” Merlin said.

“Merlin, I feel like I’m about to burst.” Morgana said.

“Alright, he should need another feed in a couple of hours… and every two hours after that.” Merlin said.

“Great. Now, why are you hiding away?” She asked. Merlin took a deep breath as he brought Eadmund to his shoulder, patting him just above his small hips.

“Who says I’m hiding away?” He asked. Morgana gave him a knowing look and Merlin sighed. “I don’t know… it just feels strange… being back here, being a man again.”

“You… want to be a woman again?” Morgana asked.

“No, not at all… but… what if Arthur had preferred that?” He mumbled. “I mean, we can’t even _do_ anything like this.” Merlin said.

“ _Do_ anything?” Morgana asked. Merlin didn’t reply but that seemed enough explanation for her. “Oh! Well, who says you can’t?” She asked.

“Because I’m not… _built_ for it?” He asked confused.

“So?” Merlin didn’t understand what she was implying. He’d never heard of two men together, unless they were horrid whispers of things that happened in other villages. When he came to Camelot he definitely didn’t hear anything about it so Merlin assumed it just never happened. That didn’t mean his love for Arthur was gone. No, it was burning brighter than ever before. When the other kissed him in front of everyone it flipped his stomach like it always did.

“There you are, Merlin, Arthur’s looking everywhere for you.” Gaius said as he entered.

“He is? Why? I’m not his servant anymore.” Merlin asked confused. In fact, Merlin had very little clue what to do with himself now that they were back in Camelot and he was back to normal.

“ _So?_ ” Gaius scoffed. “I would imagine your _husband_ does want to see his partner’s face on his stressful first day as king.” Gaius said. Merlin looked at Morgana and passed Eadmund over, after kissing his forehead.

“Go, I’ll look after him.” Morgana said.

Merlin stood and left the physician’s quarters.

oOoOoOo

“Where have you been?!” Arthur yelled. Ah, that sweet familiar sound.

“I… was feeding Eadmund.” Merlin said simply.

“I meant all _day_ , I haven’t seen you since the coronation.” He said organising the pile of scrolls on his table. “Or my son, by the way! Where is he?” Arthur asked.

“Sorry… I left him with Morgana. I’ll go get him.” Merlin turned around.

“No, I’ll see him later, you come over here.” Merlin walked back to stand in front of Arthur’s desk, hands behind his back, awaiting orders. Arthur was focused on his pile of scrolls until the silence rang out and he paused looking up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, why would anything be wrong?” Merlin asked. Arthur came round the table slowly.

“You see, you _say_ that, but a quiet Merlin is usually an unhappy Merlin.” Arthur was getting closer but Merlin couldn’t figure out why he was stepping back in response.

“I’m not unhappy. Just… been thinking a lot.”

“Hmm… is that so.” Arthur reached out suddenly and grabbed Merlin’s wrist, pulling him up against him, his hands settling firmly on Merlin’s hips, keeping him in place. “Thinking about what?” He asked. Merlin gulped, seeing that familiar glint of desire in Arthur’s eyes.

“Us… Arthur… you know I’m not a woman anymore.” He said.

“So?” Arthur asked.

“Why does everyone keep saying that word?” Merlin asked. Arthur cradled his neck and leaned in to kissed him. Merlin let his worries melt away as he reached up to wrap his arms around Arthur, pulling him closer, kissing him back, savouring every sensation it sent coursing through his body. “Mmh… Arthur…” He had to stop this, he had to talk to Arthur about this.

Merlin felt something hit the back of his knees and they both fell back onto the bed. A fire burned in the pit of Merlin’s stomach as he felt Arthur’s weight on him that kept making him forget how to speak.

“Merlin…” Arthur whispered against his ear, placing his lips on his neck, making Merlin squirm underneath him. He felt himself getting hard and flinched.

“Mmh… Arthur… wait… stop.” Merlin begged. Arthur groaned, pulling back with what looked to be great effort.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked. Merlin squirmed out from underneath him and turned his back to him, hugging one of the pillows against his chest, mostly because it ended up covering the evidence of his excitement between his legs.

“I’m a _man_ Arthur!”

“A very annoying one.” Arthur teased and Merlin glared at him.

“I’m serious.”

“About _what?_ I know you’re a man! You’ve always been a man!” Arthur exclaimed.

“No! That’s the point! You fell in love with me as a woman. You _desired_ a woman! Not _me_!” Merlin exclaimed and Arthur stared at him for a long time, coming over. Merlin looked away, too ashamed to meet Arthur’s eyes. Arthur took the opportunity and soon Merlin felt the other’s lips on his shoulder, his hands slipping under his shirt from behind and one of them trailing under his trousers.

Merlin moaned as Arthur’s fingers wrapped around him. “Just relax, Merlin, let me embrace you.” He whispered in his ear. Merlin began to shake his head. “Let me show you just how _much_ I desire you.” Merlin shuddered and closed his eyes, leaning back into Arthur’s chest, letting the other take control of things he absolutely didn’t understand.

The same fears he felt on their wedding night came flooding back, but he trusted Arthur more than anything, and wanting to be even closer to him was something he had very little trouble giving in to.

oOoOoOo

Merlin had his back to Arthur, face buried in the pillow, trying to calm the heat from his face. He couldn’t believe that they just did that during broad daylight. It was always supposed to be at night, when everyone else was sleeping. Never mind that it was their room and no servants had come to disturb them for a while.

Arthur didn’t seem so embarrassed as he wrapped his arms around him and held him up against his chest. “I love you.”

“Why?”

“Because I do, you idiot. Will you stop questioning everything and just let yourself be happy for once?” Merlin turned to look at him. “I almost lost you, so many times. My life would mean nothing without you.” Arthur said passionately and Merlin’s heart skipped. He leaned in, kissing Arthur deeply.

“I love you too, Arthur.” He smiled at Arthur’s tenderness.

“Now that we’ve cleared that up… how about you sit with me and help me organise these scrolls?” Arthur sat up and slipped his trousers back on. Out of habit, Merlin brought the other’s shirt and helped him finish getting dressed.

“Organise them how?” He asked, starting to get dressed too.

“Read some for me, give me the general idea of what it is and I’ll respond to them. Then _maybe_ I’ll be able to finish in time for the feast.”

“I can do that.” Merlin sat down beside him. He waved his hand over the scrolls that Arthur handed him. They unrolled and floated in front of him. He swept his eyes over them and put them down. He was done in half an hour. When he looked up, Arthur was just staring at him.

“What?” Merlin asked.

“You’re supposed to read them.” Arthur said.

“I _did_.”

“No you _didn’t_! That’s over fifty scrolls filled with complicated language! I’m still on my second scroll and I’ve had years of practice with the language.” Arthur said. 

Merlin grabbed twenty of the scrolls and placed them in front of him. “These are all congratulatory letters from a few of the houses that pledged themselves to you.” He grabbed another ten. “These are congratulatory letters from the houses that _didn’t_.” Then one by one he passed the rest to Arthur. “A summary of trade agreements.” Another scroll. “A summary of the Saxon’s military status according to our sources.” Another scroll. “A summary of Angevin’s military strengths. This one, a summary of Nemeth’s strengths. Another for Essetir, another for Caerleon.

  
“Give me that.” Arthur snatched a couple of scrolls, frowning as he read the contents, unable to believe that Merlin actually knew what was in them. Merlin carried on placing more down.

“A list of current taxes and expenditures and here is a list of the towns and numbers of citizens. This other one lists the number of deaths and births and this other one goes over disease and…”

“You read _all_ of these in that time? How? Magic?” Arthur asked.

“Probably. I’m a fast learner.” Merlin said. “I taught my mother to read and write.” He pointed out.

Arthur just stared at him at first. “And who taught _you_?” He asked. Merlin shrugged. Arthur stared some more and then pointed at the remaining pile of scrolls. “And those?” He asked.

“They’re bride offerings for the new king of Camelot. There are many potential young princesses here, sire.” Merlin said unrolling one. “Princess Mithian, offering of uniting Nemeth and Camelot, she’s twenty one and rather enjoys hunting. Here, is King Lot’s offering, his eldest daughter princess Briana, she comes with the promise of peace and unity between Essetir and Camelot carried on her thirteen year old shoulders.” Merlin said handing Arthur just a couple of the scrolls. Merlin let his hand hover over a couple of the pile. “Or maybe you’re looking for a _younger_ bride?”

“No.” Arthur grimaced in disgust at the last ‘offering’ and accepted the scrolls from Merlin. “Thank you, Merlin.” He said and placed the rest of the scrolls in front of him. “Help me finish these and then we can go for a light picnic with Eadmund.” Arthur said and Merlin smiled, leaning in to kiss him.

“Deal.” He said softly and got to work. In the meantime, Arthur began writing his responses that he needed to write.

oOoOoOo

Arthur was still awestruck as Merlin marched off to find their son and a servant to prepare their picnic. He kept staring at the scrolls that Merlin had just summarised, categorised and labelled.

When he was first handed his work, he thought he’d spend his days slaving away with the duties of a king. He thought he wouldn’t have time for Merlin and Eadmund and then, in comes Merlin, magic at the ready, surpassing all expectations.

As much as he tried to wrack his brain, he still couldn’t figure out what he did to deserve Merlin. As such, he needed to make sure everyone absolutely knew that he would not marry a princess because he was already married to the only person he’ll ever love.

Merlin returned with the most precious bundle in the world and Arthur’s heart overfilled with joy as he stared at his whole world. He stood and came to Merlin, cupping his face and leaning in to kiss him deeply before turning his attention to his son, taking him in his arms and holding him close, the little thing looking at him with big blue eyes curiously analysing his face.

oOoOoOo

Merlin lay on the picnic sheet, looking up at the clouds passing by. Arthur sat beside him, Eadmund in his arms. Merlin smiled at the look of adoration on Arthur’s face.

“How’s your father doing?” Merlin asked.

“He resents having been sent to the eastern apartments as his new residence.” Arthur said. “I don’t know what he expected after what he almost did to you.”

“I told you it was Agravaine.” Merlin said.

“I meant before we even ran away.” Arthur said. Merlin looked back up at the clouds, letting the silence surround them.

“So what now?” Merlin asked. “What do I do? Being your servant was all I knew how to do.”

Arthur actually scoffed. “You barely knew how to ‘serve’ properly.”

“That’s only because all my ‘serving’ time was spent investigating whatever calamity was affecting Camelot at the time.” He argued.

“Then just carry on doing that.” He said. “But with my knowing! I don’t want you running into danger without backup.” Arthur said sternly.

Merlin hummed to himself as he lay down. “What about hunting trips and expeditions? You always run into trouble at some point or other. If I hadn’t been with you those times you’d be dead.

“So you come with me, and try not to scare the prey away this time.” Arthur said.

“What about Eadmund? The hunting trips are usually days long, and expeditions take weeks.” Merlin said with a frown.

“Then… stay with Eadmund.” Arthur said. “You can do that head speaking thing to protect me if needed.”

Merlin frowned. He didn’t like that. “We’ll think about it when the situations arise.” He settled.

“Yes, _sire!_ ” Arthur said and Merlin rolled his eyes and sighed looking at Arthur once more.

“I’ve invited my mother to come meet Eadmund.” Merlin said.

“Wonderful, I’ll have the servants prepare the guest quarters for her.” Arthur said.

“…Speaking of guests.” Merlin started.

“There you are Merlin, look at you, stunning in a regal wardrobe.” Bastian said loudly, interrupting their lovely time together.

“Thank you.” Merlin smiled.

“Bastian.” Arthur greeted him coldly, while Merlin continued to smile. Arthur’s small jealous display seemed to amuse the southern king as he slumped down beside Merlin and began to eat from their food.

“You two lovebirds have surely caused a bit of a stir in your court. You should expect pressure to marry pretty soon, king Arthur.” He said, throwing a grape into his mouth.

“I’m already married, to Merlin.” Arthur said, grabbing Merlin’s hand, threading their fingers together.

“Then I suggest you tell _them_ that.” Bastian said, pointing at the castle. “I tell you one thing, you’re a braver man than me, Arthur Pendragon.” The southern king said, still wildly amuse, and an unpleasant feeling settled in Merlin’s stomach as he glanced up at Arthur and saw the determined way he was looking at the castle.


	29. Chapter 29

“No! I am _not_ doing that just to satisfy those snot-nosed nobles!” Merlin snapped.

“It would solve things with a simple celebration! Why can’t you ever see things my way?”

“Probably because your way is always stupid!” Merlin snapped.

“Well I’m glad you have such trust in me!” Arthur yelled back. Eadmund cried in the middle of it all and soon Merlin stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Ugh!” Merlin yelled and stormed off.

The child was no longer crying and Uther stepped toward the hall, Arthur was bouncing Eadmund in his arms, trying to calm him down, the anger gone from his voice as he spoke soothing words to the child.

“Am I wrong?” Arthur asked Morgana, who sat reading a book beside Arthur’s work. From the flicker of yellow in her eyes and the miniature fruit tree that sprouted from her goblet, producing a fresh pear that she bit into, Uther could only guess it was a book of magic.

“I don’t think so, I’m all for another wedding. Rub it in those men’s faces that you’re the one in control now.”

“I just want them to very clearly know that Merlin’s rank is equal to mine in all but the crown.” Arthur said and Eadmund whimpered, starting to cry. “Shh, shh, shh… It’s all right my son, everything is going to be fine.” Arthur said softly. “Your parents are just having a bit of an argument.”

Uther stared at Arthur’s gentle interactions with his child. Once upon a time Uther would have called him soft for it. Uther himself had left Arthur in the care of his wet nurse and probably got a glimpse of him once a week. He’d rarely held him after he was born. Not while he grieved Ygraine. By the time he stopped grieving her, Arthur was five, brandishing his first training sword and looking just like her.

_“Dada!” Uther tensed as he strolled through the courtyard, not expecting to see his three year old running full speed toward him, golden curls bouncing under his circlet as he smiled with unadulterated childish joy._

_He stretched his arms up at him and Uther glared at him. “Arthur! Conduct yourself like a prince!” He practically barked. “This behaviour is disgraceful!” Arthur flinched and stepped back, tears in his eyes. Uther knelt before him and shook the boy firmly by his shoulders. “You will_ not _shed a tear. You are a Pendragon. Pendragons do_ not _cry!”_

_Arthur only pulled away from him and ran to his nursemaid in tears. She did not pick him up. It was strictly forbidden. She only let him cling to his skirts and cry into them. Uther sneered and stormed away._

Arthur smiled at his son with open affection and Uther turned to leave.

“Father!” Uther flinched as Morgana called him back. He turned around.

“Ah! Morgana, Arthur, I didn’t see you there.” He said.

“Father.” Arthur said politely, still bouncing Eadmund. Uther placed his hands behind his back as he approached.

“And how is the young prince?” He asked.

“He’s doing well. Getting louder each day.” Morgana smiled and Uther chuckled at that.

“And how are your kingly duties progressing, Arthur?” Uther asked.

“Slow but steady.” Arthur said simply. It was clear that there was a thick blanket of tension in the air that Morgana, at least, was either blissfully unaware of, or purposefully ignoring.

“Would you like to hold him?” Morgana asked.

“No.” Arthur answered for him and Uther smiled, a hint of sadness at the rejection but in all honesty he couldn’t blame Arthur. Only months ago he’d planed to have the child either ended before its birth or cast off as a bastard and banished to a far away castle where servants would rear him. “A king does not coddle children. Or that’s what father always believed.” Arthur said turning his back to Uther, walking around with Eadmund, coddling him to his heart’s content.

Uther felt a pang of guilt that Arthur remembered that particular side of him. “Did I not love you, all the same?” Uther asked.

“If you did, I was never made aware of it.” Arthur replied.

“Arthur, I know for a fact the nursemaids would have reassured you of that truth, if not my actions to protect you from…” He glanced at Morgana’s magic tree, Morgana staring at him attentively. “…never mind now.”

“My _nurse_ maids did their job perfectly. But words and actions speak very different volumes.” Arthur turned to look back at him. “You would make us all wear black on my birthday to remind us of who had been lost. You can imagine, an eight year old does _not_ want to be reminded that he is to blame for his mother’s death or that his birth was cause for mourning.”

“And did I not remedy things?” Uther said defensively.

“No!” Arthur laughed, no humour in his tone. “You didn’t! Morgana persuaded you to change my birthday’s date so I could enjoy the normal birthday celebrations.”

Uther tightened his jaw and clenched his hands into fists. So he failed as a king and now he supposedly failed as a father. He was not having it.

“You have been a father for little over a week. You want to see just how easy it is? You just _wait_.” Uther said and turned, storming out.

Uther stormed down the halls of the castle and was surprised to bump into Merlin, leaning over a window, staring at the fields of Camelot. Merlin noticed him and stood straight.

“Your majes… Your highness.”

“Tell me, did you always speak to my son with such disrespect?” Uther asked.

Merlin looked away. “Only when he annoyed me.” He said.

“So, yes.” Uther finished and the boy smiled with fondness a fondness that he tried to hide from Uther. “To think someone like you could undo all my hard work.” Uther shook his head, staring at him for a long time. Merlin looked tense, not knowing what to respond, avoiding his eyes out of habit. “Still, some congratulations are in order. You’ve made it this far despite everything. Arthur hates his father, Morgana openly practices her magic _and_ is prince Eadmund’s wet nurse… my own daughter.” Uther shook his head unable to process all that’s changed. “You will be Arthur’s and Camelot’s downfall.” Uther declared.

“If you believe that so badly why did you abdicate?” The boy had the gall to demand.

“Oh, _what_ was the alternative? To get executed? It was the only way Arthur could be king and he already had the army surrounded from all sides after Angevin added their forces. Abdicating was the only option, that way when you drive him to a fatal mistake I’ll be there to help him recover from it and giving him my advice.” Uther said, staring out at Camelot’s fields. In the distance he could see the forest.

“You could have sided with Agravaine. You could have sent me to the pyre too, but you didn’t. And you tried to protect Eadmund… Thank you for that.” He said and Uther glanced at him once more.

“How could I not? He looks just like Arthur when he was a babe.”

“I will do what I have always done. I will protect Arthur.” Merlin said.

A light summery breeze swept past them and Uther managed to find his next words. “I suppose I should also thank you for helping Morgana return home.” He said.

The boy smiled and shook his head. “Morgana… is a spectacular friend. I wronged her when she was first here… if I had offered to help her sooner, she might not have been brainwashed by Morgause but… I didn’t. And she still found her way back to sanity. Somewhat.” He added.

The church bells rang in the distance, marking the hour of supper. “I best go to my chambers.” Uther said, walking past him.

“Um… why don’t you join us?” Merlin asked. Uther frowned as he stared at the boy.

“I’d rather not, Arthur and I parted on unfriendly terms.” He said. Merlin simply shrugged his shoulders in a very un-noble-man way.

“Me too and I’m still going. Let’s go, then… maybe I could answer any doubts you have about magic.” Merlin said.

Uther frowned for a long time before finally nodding. “Very well. Lead the way, your highness.” Merlin cringed at the title, which Uther found interesting and amusing. The boy turned and led the way back to where they’d both stormed out of and different times.

“Your ma…highness,” The sorcerer began. “You know the court… would… another wedding in front of them put them more at ease?” Merlin was actually asking for his advice. He could mislead him, but it would probably bring him more trouble than it was worth now that he was merely a prince. Last thing he wanted was to be exiled. He was accustomed to a certain lifestyle after all.

“I’ll answer that question while pretending you’re still a woman for the sake of my sanity.” Uther said and saw the boy’s shoulders tense. “It would not put them at ease. It will reaffirm that Arthur has chosen you to be by his side and that is final, but they will not be at ease, simply because you are a man. It’s unheard of and in some places punishable with death.” Uther said.

“Well… looks like I’m ticking all the boxes of an executioner’s dream.” He heard him mutter and Uther found himself slightly amused.

“Why _are_ you staying as his partner? Last I understood, this union was forced on you both.” Uther said and Merlin shrugged again. He would have to recommend some lessons on etiquette.

“What can I say? We fell in love.” He said and Uther shook his head at the ignorance of the young. Love. What did this youth know about love?

oOoOoOo

Merlin didn’t think Uther would take up his offer to ask questions, but he thought he’d at least leave the offer on the table.

Despite having left in irritation, he couldn’t help but melt as he saw Arthur sitting by the table, one foot crossed over his knee to make himself more comfortable as he held Eadmund in his arms, just staring at his little face with a serene smile on his face. In the meantime, the servants had set up dinner on the opposite end of the table, to avoid having to move Arthur’s work. The servants quickly set another plate for Uther and Arthur looked up with a flicker of surprise.

“Merlin, I’m s-”

“No, Arthur, _I’m_ sorry. You’re right, it’s just a celebration. We’ll do it, so at the very least those pompous lords don’t get to say they were _offended_ by not being invited to their king’s wedding.” Merlin said. Arthur seemed to relax and sigh with relief.

“Thank you.” He stood and came close to him. Merlin made to take Eadmund, but Arthur surprised him by giving him a soft press of their lips. Damnit. He could feel the fluttering of delight in his stomach at the warmth of Arthur’s lips against his own and he smiled. When they pulled away, Morgana was smiling brightly, Uther was pretending the hanging shield against the wall was the most fascinating item in the room and the servants were keeping their eyes down, though some trying to hide a small smile. Except for George. He was blank as ever.  
Arthur turned to his father and seemed to pause for a second. “Father, would you like to hold Eadmund?” He asked.

Uther glanced at the golden little prince and stepped closer, taking him in his arms and allowing himself a small smile as Eadmund cooed loudly. Merlin felt his heart skip with a fear that he tried to ignore.

“I think we should eat before it gets cold.” Morgana added and they all turned to sit on the side of the table where the lavish meal was set out. Uther carefully lowered Eadmund to his elaborately crafted basket cradle, cushioned plenty and lined with silk, that was propped up between Merlin and Arthur.

Merlin made sure he was tucked in nicely. It didn’t escape Merlin’s notice that the last time the four of them dinned together, it didn’t go as civil as this time round. And yet, Merlin still felt out of place.

He felt Arthur’s hand reach his own holding it gently as they ate, giving him a reassuring squeeze and Merlin smiled at Arthur.

oOoOoOo

Hunith smiled and bowed at the King and his consort as she arrived in court. “Your majesties.”

Merlin smiled brightly and came toward her, hugging her hard in a way that made Hunith feel loved and she chuckled, kissing his cheek and cupping his face. “My darling son… I’m so glad to see you’re safe.” She said.

Merlin nodded and held her hands. “It wasn’t easy.” Merlin added.

“It’s nice to see you again, Hunith.” Arthur said and Hunith smiled warmly at him, pride glowing in her chest at the young man before him. She reached up and Arthur too hugged her firmly. She noticed the other lords and ladies of the court whispering horrified that the king would be touching a common peasant, and was even prouder at Arthur when he didn’t even acknowledge them.

“I have someone who wants to meet you, mother.” Merlin said guiding her to the thrones, a cradle nestled between them. Hunith stepped closer and gave a little gasp at the tiny babe that fussed under its blankets, reaching out with its tiny hands clenched in fists.

“Oh my. Merlin, he’s beautiful.” She said smiling, reaching down to caress the little one’s cheek. “It’s a he?” She asked and Merlin nodded. Her son reached down and picked the little prince, cradling him in his arms, looking down at him with the unadulterated love of a parent.

“Here, hold him.” Merlin said and Hunith smiled, taking the precious little thing in her arms. The baby squirmed a little and then settled. He looked up at Hunith with his bright blue eyes and she smiled.

“Hello, my precious grandson.” She said sweetly. “Oh Merlin, he has your eyes.” She said looking at both of them proudly.

“Will you be staying, Hunith? For the wedding?” Arthur asked.

“Another wedding?” She asked surprised.

“Yes, merely a celebration, really, so that the members of the court can be part of it.” Arthur said, though the volume of his voice made her think it was more so the rest of the courtiers would hear him. She smiled at Merlin.

“Of course I’ll stay, my boy.”

“I’d rather you stayed permanently.” Merlin added and Hunith smiled.

“Come now, you know this is no place for me.” She said.

“So that’s where you get it from.” Arthur said patting Merlin firmly on the shoulder, amusement in his face before turning around to dismiss the court. Hunith looked down at the baby boy and smiled down at him. She felt so proud.

oOoOoOo

The moon glowed bright in the sky, illuminating Camelot in silver light. Everyone slept sound in their beds, safe in the knowledge that Camelot was at peace with Arthur on the throne, a new heir already born and magic protecting its residents. Some fear still lingered but now, in bed, people could forget their worries.

“Waaahh!” Arthur and Merlin groaned in bed. They hadn’t even gotten under the covers after they fell onto the bed less than two hours ago. It was the fourth time during the night that Eadmund woke up.

“Arthur… ‘s your turn.” Merlin said, curling into Arthur, shoving him lightly toward the edge of the bed.

“Nnh… I went last time.” Arthur replied. Merlin shoved a little harder and Arthur slid off the edge of the bed. He lay on the ground for a few seconds before Eadmund’s cries became more desperate and he got up. “Fine, fine, I’m coming, I’m coming.” He mumbled as he made his way round to Eadmund’s crib.

It was their job to make sure Eadmund wasn’t hungry. If he was, they would have to wake Morgana who slept in the servant’s antechamber for now.

Merlin turned around so he was looking at Arthur and got under the covers, shivering at the cool temperature of the night.

“Come now, Eadmund. There’s no need to cry. I’m here.” Arthur said with sleepy eyes and Merlin found himself smiling as he watched Arthur pick up the little one. “Ah… definitely a change in diaper, I believe.” Merlin stared at Arthur, unable to believe that this man, who expertly removed the soiled cloth, washed Eadmund’s bottom with the prepared water that Merlin kept warm and redid the diaper with a clean cloth, was Arthur Pendragon. The once and future king. Merlin’s destiny. The fiercest warrior that Camelot had ever seen, and now, an expert in cleaning their child up when the situation called for it.

Merlin smiled as Arthur returned to bed, Eadmund already back in the dreamworld.

“What’s that grin for?” Arthur asked.

“I love you.” Merlin said and Arthur smiled softly as he flopped on the pillow, eyes closed, half asleep. Merlin leaned in and kissed him deeply. “I love you so much.” 

Arthur’s fingers reached up and threaded in his hair, holding him close as they continued to kiss each other. It didn’t go beyond that. They both passed out seconds later, holding each other. Two hours later, Eadmund woke them again. A mixture of a groan and a whine and a cry left their lips simultaneously.


	30. Chapter 30

Merlin made sure he was standing right beside Arthur, standing tall, his circlet positioned regally on his forehead as the princesses all arrived to the palace. Arthur thought it might be a good idea to invite them all to the wedding, along with their fathers.

“Nice, grouping the competition for a quick eradication.” Bastian said. Gwaine laughed and Merlin shut him up with a glare.

When Merlin turned to look back at the front. King Rodor rode beside princess Mithian and Merlin gulped at the almost ethereal beauty of the princess.

“Wow.” Merlin whispered.

“Mmh… remember who you’re married to.” Arthur said just high enough for him to hear.

“Yes, _sire_.” Merlin said, still allowing himself to admire the neighbouring princess a little longer.

He could see, out of the corner of his eye, Arthur glaring at him and tried to control the upward twitch of his lips as he relished in Arthur’s jealousy. To think he was all ready to be the jealous one. A frail thing that barely reached their waists ran forward then and Merlin looked down surprised to see a young girl, with tight black curls and very dark eyes coming to be the first to curtsy before Arthur. She bore the crest of Essetir on her shoulder. Cenred’s younger sister.

“Your majesty.” She said regally. “My name is Briana, it is an honour to meet you.”

Merlin almost looked at the young girl with pity. “It’s an honour to meet you also, princess Briana, welcome to Camelot.” Arthur said nodding his head to her. She stretched out her hand to him and Merlin’s eyes widened a little, trying as hard as he could to stop from laughing out loud. This little brat was seriously trying to get Arthur to marry her? Arthur was also struggling to stop himself from being rude and laughing, but he took her hand and leaned down, stopping just before her knuckles and standing back straight. She smiled and skipped back to King Lot.

“You’re so popular, _my lord._ ” Merlin teased and Arthur elbowed him softly. They finished greeting the royal guests and the servants began to lead them away. Several of them had sent Merlin odd glances, wondering who this person was. They had heard of Camelot being guarded by magic, they hadn’t heard of the warlock protecting it to also be a prince.

oOoOoOo

Merlin could hear Eadmund crying and went to where Morgana was, Gwen returning to her service, looking down at the cradle. Merlin wasn’t sure why he stopped by the door but he did. Gwen smiled gently, making soft shushing sounds but not really picking Eadmund up. Merlin entered then and Gwen looked up at him with a forced smile. “Merlin, sounds like prince Eadmund’s missing you.” She said gently.

“Where’s Morgana?” Merlin asked softly.

“She was a little tired, napping.” She said.

Merlin nodded and came closer to the crib, reaching out to take out Eadmund, holding him against his chest, rubbing his back gently. “Shh, shh… it’s ok, Eadmund. I’m here, daddy’s here.” He said gently. He glanced at Gwen who was avoiding his eyes.

“A baby!” A bright voice cheered and they turned to see princess Briana running in. “Can I hold him?” She asked. They weren’t allies yet, Essetir and Camelot were still on uncertain terms.

“Hold him? No. I’m afraid not.” Merlin said feeling overly protective at the moment. She frowned and glared up at him.

“Fine, don’t share. I’ll be having a baby of my own soon anyway, and it’ll be king Arthur’s.” She said proudly crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh, really?” Merlin said. “How can you be so sure?” He asked.

“Lot’s promised me to Arthur. He’ll want peace on our kingdoms so no doubt he’ll accept.” She said proudly. Merlin glanced up at Gwen and she looked as amused and horrified as Merlin felt.

“And if he doesn’t accept?” Merlin asked.

“Then I can’t be queen! He has to accept!” She said.

“Briana!” That was King Lot’s voice.

“Pardon me, my lord.” Briana said, running in the opposite direction to Lot’s voice. Merlin watched her run off a little bewildered. He wasn’t used to having little children feel like enemies. Mordred was the first, and he was starting to think Briana was another.

“Poor thing.” Gwen said. “A bit in dream world, isn’t she?”

“Hmm…” Something didn’t feel right to Merlin. “I’m taking Eadmund with me for a bit.” He said. He found princess Briana picking flowers in the royal gardens and skipping around like any child her age should be doing. He spotted Lot, who was storming over to her, having caught her at last. Merlin couldn’t hear what he was saying but whatever it was it was angry and made the child tense and look down. Merlin held Eadmund a little closer, protectively, his heart going out to the girl that was all alone in the world.

oOoOoOo

“Arthur… who is king Lot exactly?” Merlin asked that evening as they prepared for bed.

“Is that why you’ve been quiet all evening?” Arthur asked. “I thought princess Mithian was the one that had you all out of breath.”

Merlin felt his lips twitch upwards. “No doubt she had me breathless… she’s so beautiful, like a breath of fresh air. The way her dresses just flow and –gah!” Arthur grabbed him by his waist and yanked him back onto the bed, eliciting a laugh from his mouth as Arthur pinned him down with his own body. “Why, my king, how indecent a way to be holding your manservant.” Merlin teased.

Arthur leaned in and kissed him deeply. “Ex-manservant.”

“My mistake.” Merlin reached up and pulled him back down, kissing him deeply, savouring every sensation, as he arched up to Arthur. Both of them still had their trousers on as Arthur began to grind on him and leaned in to lick and suck on his neck. Merlin moaned softly, but his eyes met a pair of dark eyes that were wide with horror and he shoved Arthur back.

“What?” Arthur asked and turned to look to where he was staring. “Princess Briana, what are you doing here?” Arthur asked confused. “And in your underdress?” Merlin stared at the child and narrowed his eyes.

“Did King Lot ask you to come to Arthur’s chambers?” Merlin asked.

The girl flinched. “I-I wanted to ask king Arthur to further consider an engagement.”

Merlin and Arthur both reached for their shirts and Merlin stared at the child in horror. Lot had done this. He’d made her come to them indecently. Obviously, Lot hadn’t expected Merlin to be here. Had Arthur been any other unscrupulous king who knows what could have happened to princess Briana.

Instead, Arthur came and draped the princess with his cloak. She seemed grateful to cover her underdress better. Eadmund made a cooing sound from his crib and Briana seemed to look at him and Arthur for a long time, her eyes widening.

“That’s your baby.” She said to Arthur. “And you? I don’t understand.” Briana asked Merlin. Not that Merlin owed her an explanation but he took pity on her, opening his mouth to reply. Arthur spoke up faster. He kneeled in front of her.

“My lady, I will tell you first what I intend to tell everyone soon. I will not be marrying any princess because I’m already married to Merlin. Prince Eadmund is our son.” Arthur said. She frowned, confused.

“But he’s a man.”

“Yes, but he’s also magic, so he can change and it gifted us Eadmund. So you understand, I can’t marry you, or any of the other princesses.” Arthur said.

Briana nodded but tears came to her eyes. “But… King Lot…”

“King Lot is regent until you are of age. He can’t harm you.”

“But if I married I could be queen.” Briana wept.

“Being king or queen is not an easy job, my Lady. It is hard, you have to make terrible decisions and sometimes no matter what you do there will still be people against you. You need to study and train to be a good queen now that your brother is gone.”

She wept louder. “I wish Cenred were here… he said he’d always keep me safe and then that golden haired lady ruined everything!” Arthur looked at Merlin at a loss on what to do and Merlin went to a nearby table, looking for something, finding it at last. A silver pendant.

“Princess Briana… come here.” Merlin said gently and she did. Merlin let his eyes glow as he chanted words of protection to the pendant and finally placed it around Briana’s neck. “As long as you wear this, no harm will come to you.”

“Will you… tell everyone?” She asked worried.

“No, we won’t tell anyone that you came, as long as you keep it a secret that we’re married until we surprise everyone.” Arthur said and she held the pendant tightly and nodded, smiling.

“I hope, when I’m queen, we can talk of a long-lasting peace, King Arthur.” She said and curtsied, scurrying off.

Merlin felt something strike him. A wave of magic that left him feeling dizzy.

 _Peace to the land of Albion_.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked and he leaned against him.

“Sorry… I just felt strange.” Merlin said frowning. Blue eyes flashed in front of his own.

 _“I will never forget this, Emrys.”_ Mordred’s voice.

Merlin shook his head. No. He wouldn’t dare come back here. Arthur was already bringing magic back. Peace was already starting to become likely. Their destiny was still on track.

“You’re not pregnant again, are you?” Arthur teased and Merlin smacked his arm.

“Don’t even joke about that.” He said and Arthur simply laughed and pulled him into another kiss.

He wondered how everyone else would take the news that they’d actually just been invited to their wedding.

oOoOoOo

“You’re going hunting?” Merlin asked. “With Mithian.” He was on a rocking chair, Eadmund in his arms as he fed him from a fun contraption that Gaius had invented. He’d carefully crafted a rubber-suckling device so Merlin could feed Eadmund through the glass bottle magically filled with Morgana’s milk.

“Yes, you’re coming too.” Arthur said.

“I thought you didn’t like her.” Merlin said.

“I would never say that.” Arthur said. Never _admit_ to it was more like it.

“And I hate hunting.” Merlin said, focusing on Eadmund, having missed his attentive little eyes focusing on him while he was feeding.

“So you _did_ sabotage all my previous kills.” Arthur accused.

“ _No_ , I simply don’t like killing animals for sport.” Merlin said.

“It’s not for sport. We’re going to eat them, eventually.” Arthur said. Merlin rolled his eyes. “Fine, maybe I do enjoy it, it’s fun!”

“Not for the deer.” Merlin called out.

“Oh, you know what? Fine, don’t come. I’ll just go have a nice hunting trip with someone who actually appreciates the sport.” Arthur said.

“Have fun.” Merlin called after him as Arthur slammed the door shut. Seconds later Arthur came back and kissed him deeply on the lips, then kissed Eadmund’s forehead gently.

“I love you both.” He said before leaving, slamming the door again. Merlin tried to hide the smile but finally shook his head, laughing softly.

“Your father’s a prat.” He told Eadmund softly, smiling as Eadmund simply drank his milk, eyes half closed as he started falling asleep.

oOoOoOo

Princess Mithian smiled as she got on her horse, Arthur could admire her beauty, but it was all ruined when he realised Merlin admired her quite a bit too. Would Merlin had even considered him had he had enough time to find himself a nice girl to settle down with? To be honest, he’d not really pictured Merlin with anyone. He’d have to ask him at some point if indeed there had ever been anyone like that in Merlin’s life.

“I hear you’re quite the hunter, your majesty.” Mithian said.

“Rumour is you’re not too bad with a crossbow yourself.”

“Well… we don’t have to make this a competition.” She said and Arthur smirked.

“We don’t _have_ to.” It seemed she understood, because, suddenly, it _was_ a competition.

The stag didn’t see it coming. They both shot their crossbows at the same time and hit the target. It was hard to tell who had the kill shot so they called it a draw. The other members of the group cheered and praised them, while Mithian gave him a small smile. He smiled back.

“Impressive kill, king Arthur, truly a magnificent beast.” King Lot said.

“Well,” Arthur said trying to be polite to this very undeserving man. “I believe princess Mithian’s shot may just have been the kill shot.”

“Hah! A woman huntress! Indeed.” Lot started leaving, laughing at the idea and Arthur clenched his jaw.

“Is your queen not a woman?” Arthur asked.

Lot seemed to tense and looked at him. “Princess Briana isn’t queen yet, she must marry for that or come of age.” He said simply.

“But she will be your queen one day.”

“A tragic day.” He heard Lot mutter before he left. Arthur stayed back and looked at Mithian who still looked proudly at the stag.

“You’re a noble man, your majesty.” She said, looking at him with knowing eyes. “But it’s not a marriage you want from me. I can tell. You don’t seem to like me enough.”

“No, I invited you as a guest to a celebration. ” He said simply, looking at king Rodor who was busy talking to king Bastian.

“Who is it that earns the heart of the noble king Arthur?” She asked as they rode back. Arthur smiled softly, remembering Merlin’s bright blue eyes.

“Someone very precious to me.” He said.

“And who is that dark haired prince that was with you when we arrived?” She asked. Arthur turned to meet her eyes and the look alone must have been answer enough, because her eyes widened in shock.

“Someone very precious to me.” He repeated in reply to her question. The sound of an arrow piercing the air was heard and Arthur almost felt Merlin’s fingers in his hair, yanking his head back as the arrow flew past and struck the tree with a loud thud. Mithian gasped loudly. “We’re under attack!” Arthur yelled. The kings took no time to ride the horses hard but it soon became apparent they were surrounded. Arthur drew his sword as did the kings.

A lone figure stood apart from the rest. Arthur stared, the face of the child familiar, as were his vibrant blue eyes.

oOoOoOo

Merlin gasped, sitting up, breathing rapidly as he looked around the empty room. Eadmund slept peacefully in his basket and Arthur was still on the hunt. Something was wrong. Was that nightmare a dream or Merlin projecting like he’d done before?

“Morgana!” Morgana rushed in.

“What? Is it Eadmund?”

“Arthur, the hunt. I think they’re under attack. I need you to watch over me.” Merlin said. Morgana frowned but nodded, sitting by the edge of the bed.

“Do what you need to do, Merlin.”

Merlin lay back down and tried to calm his heart, closing his eyes, trying to reach out to Arthur. It almost took an eternity.

_“Arthur?” Merlin opened his eyes to see the forest, but looking around, he could see no Arthur. He could see the horses, a stag strapped to one of them, signs of a battle but he could see no one. Everything moved sluggish as he turned. “Arthur!”_

_“Merlin, it’s fine, everything’s fine. It’s over.” Arthur said._

_“Over? Where are you?” Merlin called out._

_“Don’t worry, the druid boy, he saved us. We’ll be home soon.” Arthur said._

_“Mordred…” Merlin whispered, horror coursing through his veins._

Merlin jumped awake and shook his head. It couldn’t be. He looked at the window, the sun was setting already. How had he not realised so much time had passed?

“Are you alright, Merlin?” Morgana asked with a frown. Merlin shook his head.

Sounds of ‘the king has returned’ were heard and Merlin ran to the window, looking outside. He used his magic to let him see into the distance and there he was, Arthur, chatting merrily to his saviour.

"Mordred." He whispered. 


	31. Chapter 31

Mordred was back in Camelot. Mordred had saved Arthur? How? And why couldn’t Merlin be by Arthur’s side like he’d managed to be before when he projected? What had changed?

Merlin found his way to the courtyard, followed closely by Morgana, who smiled brightly at the young boy that entered the capitol.

“Mordred!” She happily ran forward to hug the boy. He had stretched out from the small child Merlin had seen. He could be no more than fourteen by the looks of him. Not quite a man just yet.

“Morgana!” He cheered. His voice was in that strange stage where it didn’t know where to settle but Merlin paid no attention to him. He almost threw Arthur against the horse as he patted him down, checking him for injuries, magical trinkets, anything.

“Merlin! Merlin, I’m alright. Are you alright?” Arthur asked with a frown. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He said, cupping Merlin’s cheek.

“I couldn’t see you.” Merlin whispered. “I don’t understand why I…”

“Shh… everything’s well, you saved me when it mattered.” Arthur said and leaned down to kiss him. Merlin tried to hold back his tears and hide his fear as he stepped back, so Arthur could look at Eadmund, bundled up against his chest, eyes opened and looking at him curiously.

Merlin looked up at Arthur, his heart racing, a terrible feeling overcoming him. Kilgharrah had said that Mordred would be Arthur’s death.

“Now come, Merlin. Mordred has something to say to you.” Arthur said, placing his had around Merlin’s waist, leading him towards the druid, who turned to him and out of Morgana’s hug, glancing at Eadmund. Merlin made it so Mordred couldn’t see Eadmund’s face.

Mordred smiled nonetheless and looked at him, giving him a slight bow. “Emrys… I’ve journeyed long to find you… with the ban on magic lifted, I’d hoped that you would take me on as your apprentice.” Mordred said.

Merlin couldn’t stand it. His smiling face, everyone else’s pleasant expressions and here was Merlin, feeling the exact opposite with no way of explaining to everyone as to why. As if nothing had changed at all.

“No, I’m sorry. I have to go.” Merlin said and walked past them, ignoring their confused faces. He returned to his and Arthur’s room and took a deep breath. He placed Eadmund on the centre of the bed and curled up in bed beside him, just staring at him, caressing his face, saying sweet nothings to the child while he waited for his mind to sort out what to do.

He was so scared.

Eadmund seemed to lock eyes with him that moment and as if sensing his mood, his eyes brightened to gold for a second, before petals began to rain in the room. Merlin smiled at Eadmund, caressing his cheek and kissing his forehead. “I love you, Eadmund.” He whispered. He closed his eyes when Arthur stormed in, not quite slamming the door but close enough.

“What’s the matter with you, Merlin?” He asked.

“Nothing.” Merlin said.

“Not _nothing_! The boy saved my life! I almost offered him a knighthood but all he wanted was to come and be instructed by you! I thought you’d be excited at the idea of teaching someone!”

“What on earth made you think that?” Merlin demanded.

“Well, alright, maybe you never said anything but… you didn’t even give it a moment’s thought!”

“ _I_ didn’t give it a moment’s thought? What do you know about this boy? How do you know he’s not here for revenge after your father killed his mentor?” Merlin asked. Arthur shook his head.

“You’re wrong, he risked his life for me. He used his powers to save me, save all of us, he practically saved half the kings of Albion, Merlin.” Arthur said.

“Then let some other king thank him.” Merlin said.

“No! Not unless you tell me why this ridiculous dislike of the boy!” Arthur exclaimed.

“I don’t trust him, just like I didn’t trust Lana, just like I didn’t trust Agravaine.” Merlin said and Arthur stared at him.

“Fine, alright then. If… you don’t trust him I’ll send him back where he came from. I’ll send him with gold as a show of gratitude.” Arthur said. Merlin felt his shoulders relax but there was still something wrong. That didn’t feel like the right solution either. What was he supposed to do?

“Just… let me think about it.” Merlin said and lay back down, just staring at Eadmund, caressing his cheek. He heard Arthur sigh before lying down to the other side of the babe. Eadmund turned his little head to look up at Arthur and just stared at him.

Arthur smiled softly and brought his finger against Eadmund’s hand. His small fingers instinctively clenched around it with the superior strength of a newborn baby.

“I’m not leaving you. Ever.” Arthur said, looking into Merlin’s eyes. “That’s what scared you, wasn’t it?” Arthur said.

“If I’d just gone with you…” Merlin said and Arthur shook his head.

“No. Don’t Merlin.” Merlin looked away. Arthur made him look back and leaned in, being careful with Eadmund, kissing him softly.

oOoOoOo

Merlin walked into Gaius’ chambers, hearing the excited chatter of Mordred’s voice. He stared at him as he asked Gaius excited questions about the human body and human conditions and magical remedies and something clicked.

“Mordred.” He called. Mordred turned to look at him and stood straight, giving a bow.

“Emrys, your majesty, I apologise for earlier. I realise how inappropriate it was to make such a request when you’re the queen… second king?” He asked confused. “A-anyway, I hope you’ll forgive me.” He said. Merlin stared at him trying to find deception in his eyes and yet found none.

“You saved Arthur and the other kings. I thank you for that.” Merlin said. “Are you sure you want to become my apprentice? I still have much to learn, especially when it comes to healing spells. It sounded more like you were very eager on those as you spoke to Gaius.” Merlin said.

“I _am_ a druid, healing is part of my natural talents.” Mordred said.

“I’d be happy to take him on as an apprentice, Merlin.” Gaius said. And there it was, the alternative. Merlin looked at Mordred.

“Would that be acceptable to you, Mordred? From time to time, I could teach you other things, if you’d like.”

“Very! Thank you, your highness.” Mordred said and Merlin nodded, smiling before turning to leave. The boy was likable, he had to admit that. But this path… it felt right. He’d keep an eye on Mordred as time passes.

For now, he had much more pressing matters to worry about.

oOoOoOo

Merlin sat beside Arthur, circlet on and drinking the wine nervously. The other kings had already been glancing up at him a lot and he tried to avoid eye contact. Merlin would much rather be back in their rooms, curled up next to Eadmund. Instead he had to be here. Today was their big announcement.

He glanced at Briana who looked like she was already falling asleep. Indeed too young to be up this late, but Lot made sure to shake her awake every so often.

Arthur finally stood and everyone quieted around them.

“Honoured guests, I thank you for accepting my rather cryptic invitation to a royal celebration. I’m sure you’re all wondering what it is.” Arthur said. “I’m sure you’ve all heard about the civil war we’ve just had in Camelot. I’m not so sure how many of you know of the why.

To make things simple, I fell in love with a sorcerer. A sorcerer that has guarded and protected my life and Camelot’s in secret since he first arrived here. His life was threatened and we eloped. I had to choose whether to continue standing by a law that enforced the genocide of a people simply due to the religion they practiced, which would put my own love on the pyre, or do what I could to change it. As you well know, my father abdicated and the law has been changed. Peace has returned to Camelot.”

Merlin thanked George for refilling his cup and gulped it down, feeling a little bit too on edge in this silent room of gradually more and more horrified nobles. Mostly the visitors since all the other courtiers had had time to process the madness. Arthur reached down and took his hand, giving it a squeeze to distract him.

“However, my courtiers were disappointed that they’d missed out on my wedding with Merlin and hence wanted another celebration. I thought, what better time to have our friends from the other kingdoms join us in this momentous occasion? Tomorrow, there will be another wedding celebration and you’re all invited to attend.” Arthur said.

Merlin either expected outrage or confused silence. It was the later that occurred. None of the kings said anything until Bastian began clapping and the rest joined in confused.

“Now, allow me to introduce our son, and heir, prince Eadmund.” Arthur said and that’s when the havoc broke out and questions were thrown out, one after another. Merlin felt better once Eadmund was brought into his arms and with the soft hum of the wine in his blood, he relaxed enough to let Arthur focus on the kings.

oOoOoOo

Their second wedding went a lot less smoothly than their eloping ceremony. The ceremony itself was organised well, but then some of the lords and ladies didn’t all arrive on time, Eadmund began to cry which meant Merlin and Morgana stopped the ceremony to go calm him down, Geoffrey got food poisoning in the middle of it from some passing entrées they brought in while they waited for Eadmund to calm, but returned to finish the ceremony, although looking quite pale and greenish.

At least three of the elder knights were snoring and everyone’s wife looked basically annoyed to be there, especially those that had to stand next to Merlin’s mother. The final straw was when someone had the ingenious idea to release white doves inside. The winged beasts kept flying around, trying to find a way out, dumping down on unsuspecting lords and ladies, which ended up with the lords and ladies running out while screaming to avoid getting struck by dove droppings. This led to the knights, of Camelot and guests, to roar with laughter and Arthur to look just basically exasperated with the whole thing.

Merlin kept his lips pressed tight the whole time, but when the doves added the final touch he found himself bursting out with laughter, unable to stop, almost wheezing at the stitch he was getting on his side and tears of mirth prickling at his eyes. It took him a while to realise Arthur was laughing along with him.

Geoffrey swiftly closed his books and ran back out, probably to go hurl somewhere else.

Merlin turned to Arthur, still laughing, trying to control it. “I love you, Merlin.” Arthur finally said, managing to control himself faster than Merlin.

“I love you, Arthur…” Merlin said, smiling. They pulled each other into a kiss. The remaining guests cheered and the doves found their way out. Gaius and Uther sat next to each other, Gaius somewhat amused while Uther was still waiting to wake up from what had to be a nightmare.

Beside Gaius, sat Mordred and Morgana. Mordred just looked pleased to be here and Morgana retelling him how the first, better, wedding went.

It was done. The wedding was over and Merlin could finally begin to adjust to this new life.

oOoOoOo

_Merlin grabbed Arthur from under the shoulders, dragging him toward the lake, groaning at how heavy he was getting. “Arthur, please… we have to get you to the lake.” He said._

_“Merlin, without the horses…”_

_“No, I’m not letting you die.” Merlin said, groaning as Arthur just got heavier and heavier._

_“Just-Just… hold me…”_

_Merlin screamed when it happened and all he could see was Arthur’s cold, pale body on the boat for his burial._

_“Merlin…”_

_“Merlin!”_

oOoOoOo

“Merlin!” Arthur shook him awake and Merlin jumped, looking up at him, tears having rolled down the sides of his face.

“Arthur…” Merlin whimpered. It had felt so real.

“You had a bad dream, that’s all.” Arthur said. Merlin shook his head and reached up, pulling Arthur close against him, taking in his warmth, taking in his scent, taking in his essence.

“It felt so real.” Merlin remembered the cold feel of Arthur’s forehead against his palm and he hugged him tighter.

“But it wasn’t, I’m real.” Arthur said against his ear and Merlin pulled back, looking up at him, cupping his face and pulling him into a long, desperate kiss. “Come now, it’s morning. You know what that means.” Arthur said and Merlin smiled, wiping away his tears.

Just as expected, squealing was heard coming toward their chambers and a little prince stormed in, running up to them and throwing himself into Merlin’s arms.

“Good morning fathers!” Eadmund cheered brightly.

“Good morning son, happy birthday.” Arthur said, leaning in to kiss Eadmund on the top of his head. It took them a little while to get ready, sending Eadmund’s nurse-maid away after she apologised profusely for letting him barge in. They were used to it.

They made their way down to the dinning room for breakfast with the family, Eadmund holding onto each parent’s hand.

“What do you want to do today?” Merlin asked.

“I want to start knight training!” Arthur and Merlin shared a look.

“Eadmund, we’ve already discussed this, you’re not allowed to start knight training until you’re older.” Arthur said.

“But I’m four!” He pouted.

“Well, you still have three more years to go before we’re happy with you starting.” Merlin said. Eadmund crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at them and stomping his foot, refusing to move.

“I want knight training! I want it now!” He screamed.

Arthur and Merlin looked at each other. “No.” Arthur said simply.

They watched with fascination as Eadmund threw himself onto the ground in the middle of the corridor and spent a solid hour screaming, red faced with tears streaming down his cheeks while Merlin and Arthur ignored him after the first five minutes, proceeding to get some work done while they waited for Eadmund to calm down, reading the scrolls for the day. Thanks to Merlin, it was a quick job. Merlin would scan them and discuss the details with Arthur.

“I think he’s done.” Merlin said, looking at their son, lying face down on the floor but still whimpering.

Arthur nodded, coming to help Eadmund back up and holding him firmly by the shoulders.

“Eadmund, are you done?” Arthur asked as Merlin used a cloth to clean his face. “You’re not starting knight training because it’s dangerous for you when you’re so young.”

“But I’m the prince… and it’s my birthday.” He whined.

“I know, but neither of those things means you can start kicking and screaming so disgracefully just when someone says no. Do you understand?”

Eadmund turned to Merlin for support but Merlin was just as stern. “Answer your father, Eadmund.” Merlin said.

“I understand. I’m sorry father… I love you.” He said with a sad little voice, and both their hearts melted.

“I love you too, my darling boy.” Arthur chuckled, picking him up and holding against his waist, kissing his forehead.

“Now, is there anything else you’d like for your birthday?” Merlin asked.

Eadmund’s eyes widened with excitement. “I want to fly on grandfather Kilgharrah and see Aithusa!” He cheered. Deadly swords were one thing, flying a dragon, Merlin felt that was safer.

“Sure!” Merlin said with a smile. “Breakfast first though!”

“I’m starved!” Eadmund cried out in a very Arthur-like way and Merlin smiled with adoration, kissing Eadmund’s cheek and smiling at Arthur. Arthur seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and shook his head, while they settled for breakfast.

The breakfast table included Morgana, Hunith, Uther and Gaius. They all wished them good morning as they settled in their seats.

“I think all of Camelot heard your amazing parenting skills.” Uther said.

“For the last time, Father, we’re not going to smack him.” Arthur said under his breath so Eadmund wouldn’t hear, while the boy greeted his grandmother brightly.

“It’s unacceptable behaviour.” Uther muttered into his cup with the resignation of a man that knew he wasn’t going to be listened to.

Arthur rolled his eyes to prove that point and focused on serving Eadmund a healthy breakfast.

Later on, despite not being allowed to start his own knight training, Eadmund found himself running around the knights while they trained, cheering his father on and then changing sides and cheering for Gwaine instead, or whoever was winning at the time.

Morgana met them on her way to the market, Mordred walking with her and nodding at Merlin. Merlin would have to give more time to the other’s education. Gaius had already said the boy’s power had grown. The niggling fear he’d had at the start had all but gone by now as Mordred proved himself loyal time and time again.

He looked down at Eadmund, passing his fingers through his hair, the boy leaning against his hip, sucking on his thumb still, a habit he had yet to break. A hand came and pulled the finger out with a pop.

“That is no way for a prince to behave, Eadmund.” Uther’s stern voice said. Eadmund smiled brightly.

“I wasn’t doing anything, Grandfather!” He said.

“No? You weren’t sucking your thumb?” Uther demanded.

“Not me. Maybe another prince you saw.” He said and Uther shook his head, glaring at Merlin.

“You’re to blame for such lax discipline.” Uther said with little spite. By then, Eadmund had his thumb in his mouth again and was staring at Arthur’s skill with the sword.

“He’ll grow out of it.” Merlin dismissed his concerns.

“There you are, darling.” Hunith said and Merlin smiled at his mother as she hugged and kissed him on the forehead before kneeling down and doing the same to Eadmund. “I went out and picked your favourite mushrooms for lunch.” She said and Eadmund smiled excited.

“Really? Thank you grandmother!” He said happily.

“Happy birthday Eadmund.” She said.

“There he is! Grab him!” Gwaine cried out and Eadmund was swept up by the knights and carried to the middle of the field in a fit of giggles.

“Gwaine! Careful! Don’t! They never listen to me.” Merlin huffed, looking at them playing with Eadmund a little rough and he bit his lower lip nervously.

“He’ll be fine, Merlin, he always is.” His mother said.

“Where’s Eadmund? His favourite apples are in season.” Morgana said, having returned with a basket full of things, including the bright red apples that Eadmund seemed to favour this time of year.

“He’s been taken by knights of Odin’s kingdom. Currently Arthur is battling through them to rescue him.” Uther explained, watching the knights fall one by one at Arthur’s skill or just for the sake of the storyline.

“I see.”

“I’ll head on inside, must give these to Gaius.” Mordred said and Morgana smiled, throwing an apple his way, which he caught with ease.

Merlin watched his family together and smiled, closing his eyes, taking in the warmth of the life he was living now and shoving away all thoughts of that horrible nightmare that will never be.

Arthur and Eadmund cheered as Arthur picked him up and spun him around after ‘rescuing’ him and squeals of laughter soon followed. Merlin smiled and went to join them, taking Eadmund in his arms and holding him close.

“I love you so much.” Merlin said. Arthur smiled, caressing his cheek and giving him a kiss. Eadmund pretended to hurl which only made Merlin smile wider.

“I want Kilgharrah and Aithusa!” Eadmund reminded him.

“Of course! We’ll ready the horses straight away and meet them at the clearing.” Merlin said as they walked back to the castle holding hands.

Merlin sighed. He was home.


End file.
